by Kip Nelson
“Some of you may already be aware of this, but for those who aren't, I want to tell you a little story. When Saul, Grace, Luis and I were in the forest together, we were captured by a group similar to this one. They had captured other people and forced these prisoners to work for them. They weren't soldiers or cops, they were just ordinary people who had been fooled into thinking that a better life awaited them. But while we were in there, we were able to organize a rebellion. We taught these people how to fight back and, eventually, we were able to overthrow the leader.
“I know this situation isn't exactly the same, but in some ways, it's better here. There we were always under the eyes of the guards and had to be clandestine in our movements, but here we can train people openly. I know that not everyone here may think of themselves as a fighter, but you are. You all are. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. Think of all the other people who have died along the way. You've been in the city. You've seen the streets lined with corpses. But we are still here, and I don't know about you, but I want to choose when I leave this world, not let some violent bullies make that choice for me.”
Once again, his voice rose higher, majestic in its promise of hope, courage, and inspiration, and was met with a smattering of applause as people felt their hearts lifted and bonded to each other in the spirit of unity. Not everyone was like that, however. At the mention of the rebellion, Luis, who was sitting next to Saul, made a barbed comment.
“And we would have been able to do it sooner, too, if someone hadn't been moping the whole time,” he said, nudging Saul with his shoulder. The bigger, older man looked down at Luis and furrowed his brow, growling as he folded his thick arms against his broad chest, glaring at him.
“Things are different now,” he barked, and turned his head to face forward again, wanting to forget about the past and all the mistakes he had made.
The others didn't know it, but there was a lot that weighed heavily on Saul's mind, and the way he conducted himself in that particular endeavor was one of them. He could be selfish and unthinking, but he knew he could have been more help. But he had changed, thanks to the help of Grace and Freddie, and even Mack. He had seen a better side of himself, and knew he couldn't allow himself to sink back into the person he used to be.
Saul liked the idea of being a part of something bigger than himself, forgetting about his family ties and the way things used to be and changing himself into something better, something good. He had seen how Grace had changed recently, growing into herself, and although religion was not the way for him, he knew he still could be a boon to the community. While he had been guarding Lily, he had had plenty of time to think about things, and knew the kind of man he wanted to be. Whether he actually could stay true to that was another matter. He was well aware one of his shortcomings was falling into the same familiar patterns. Yet, for the first time in his life, he wanted to try belonging somewhere, and to be looked at with something other than mistrust.
Mack continued speaking. “But I'm sad to say that group are not the only ones who wish us ill. The city is rife with danger, and even if we were not being threatened, I still would want everyone in this settlement to be able to defend themselves if the time came. We must project an air of confidence and faith in people because they will look to us when they lose faith in themselves. Every person in this settlement must try forgetting who they were in their old life, because right now we all have to be soldiers, not fighting for a country or a government, just fighting to survive. That's the message we must take to everyone, and it's the message we have to believe ourselves.”
He let that statement sink in for a while, and noticed how everyone else looked around at their friends and allies. They nodded to each other as they recognized that they were a part of something greater than themselves.
“The other group we have to be aware of is the Lost Children,” Mack continued. “Maggie and I were held captive by them. Some of you may have seen us return with her son, Tristan. I know there have been whispers about the Lost Children before, and let me tell you right now that they are not exaggerations. They are dangerous and they want to come through the city and take what they see as their rightful place. If they find us, they will attack, and we must be prepared for that, too. So, right now I would like a complete inventory of the weapons so we know what we have to work with.”
Mack looked into the crowd for the person who knew the inventory. It was Will who spoke up, but when he did so it was with a heavy sigh. “We have an assortment of guns that we were able to get from the police station, and some body armor, but probably not enough to arm everyone. Ammo is a problem as well. We have made some hand-to-hand weapons out of the debris around, but it's nothing compared to what they have. Given how many guns they have, I doubt we'd even get to the stage where we're fighting hand-to-hand.” There were a few groans and scared gasps in the crowd. Mack lifted his hands.
“Are there any sources of weapons close by?” Mack asked.
Will shook his head. “The best ones were ransacked a long time ago. We could try going to look for more, but I doubt we would find any, not unless we got very lucky.”
Mack pressed his lips together and resumed his pacing. “For now, that just means we have to make every shot count. Find out who has experience with firing guns and assign them weapons. For everyone else, teach them how to make bows, arrows, and spears from whatever you have handy. If we have ranged weapons, we can at least try taking out some of their force before they even reach the settlement. Until then...” he said, a smile playing on his lips, “it seems as though they have stolen plenty from this place. Perhaps it's time to take something back.” A hush came over the crowd and then Mack began outlining his plan.
“If their main advantage is having more guns, then we need to take some for ourselves and even the playing field. Luis and Will, you've been out there already, us three will go and raid them in the night. We won't be able to take every gun they have, but we can get as many as we can. I've seen the big sacks that are used to carry around the vegetables. If we have a few of them, we can load them up and bring a good haul back.
“Everyone else, be positive and remember that we can pull this off. It's not us who needs to be scared of the bullies, but the bullies who need to be scared of us. Hopefully, we'll have at least one more night before they attack, but in case we don't, I want you to get on everything as soon as possible. Bob and Maggie, you can deal with the guns and choose who gets them. Grace and Saul, get a few people and scavenge for anything you can use as a weapon. Focus on ranged first, but get whatever you think is useful. Everyone else, let's get this place ready.”
With that he clapped his hands and people began rising. They broke off into smaller groups and chatted among themselves about what just had transpired. As Mack looked them over, he knew that, in all likelihood, not everyone would make it through this attack, but his job was to ensure the majority survived, and that the settlement remained standing. He walked through the crowd and made his way to Freddie, who was just about to leave. Mack pulled him aside and spoke in a low voice, so Maggie, who was standing nearby, couldn't hear.
“Is everything alright?” Freddie asked.
“Who knows anymore?” Mack replied flippantly. “But look, I've heard around that you've started counseling people again, which I think is great. I was hoping you'd make the effort to introduce yourself to Tristan. He's been through a lot, and I think he really could use someone to talk to.”
“He has Maggie,” Freddie said.
“I know, but sometimes there are things you need to say that you can't talk to your mother about. While we were out there we were attacked by a man who wanted to get revenge on the Lost Children for the things they had done. Tristan talked about them a little bit, but I think it would be good for him to have the opportunity to get things off his chest.”
“I'll see what I can do,” Freddie said, “and, you know Mack, you've been through a lot yourself. You're always welcome to drop in.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FREDDIE WATCHED Mack leave and wished he could have done more to help. Being a counselor, he had spent a lot of time watching people, and he knew that although Mack presented an outwardly confident appearance, there was much troubling him. In all the time they had been together, Freddie had not known Mack to open up much about his feelings, although he obviously shared a close bond with Grace. It wasn't surprising for Freddie as he found the most difficult people to talk to were those who considered themselves strong, like Maggie. In fact, he still was a little perturbed that Maggie had not chosen to confide in him about Tristan. They had spent so much time together, and Freddie always had known Maggie was looking for someone, yet she never had mentioned him by name or spoke about him.
It provided him with some morbid amusement at how these people could know how to rally others, and yet be so blind when it came to their own emotions. All it would take is one conversation, instead of bottling things up so that they festered inside. Still, Freddie always had had to deal with difficulties. When he was younger, he was looked upon as strange and he had struggled with his own issues. Then when he decided he wanted to become a counselor, his family looked upon him with suspicion and disrespect. They never had been comfortable with sharing their feelings, and if he was honest with himself, Freddie never had felt loved by them.
Already he had managed to help a number of people in the settlement. Aside from his initial surprise that they were not traumatized by everything that had happened, he was met with familiar problems and it provided him with a sense of relief. He could imagine himself sitting in his old office with cars whizzing by below, with his television shows waiting for him in the evening once he was done with work. It was funny, in a way. In his old life, Freddie had been quite a solitary man, happy in his own company. Now that this world had been thrust upon him, he was part of a community and had friends, people who respected him. If he had a choice to put the world back together and make it like it was, he wasn't sure he would be able to do that, to go back to that life of consuming loneliness.
Still, he didn't much like the fact that there were people out there hungry for blood, ready to take whatever they could without any empathy for their fellow human beings. Freddie knew that humanity couldn't simply be boiled down to good and evil, people were filled with contradictions that made something like that impossible. But each day they were faced with choices, and it was interesting to him how and why they chose to make the choice that caused the most amount of pain to others.
Freddie believed in Mack's cause in wanting to unite people, and in an ideal world everyone would be of like mind and want to put aside their own personal desires for the sake of the people around them. Yet, humans have one inherent contradiction. Yes, they are gregarious and communicative, and recognize the need to work together, but only insofar as it ensures their own survival. Selfishness is an inherent part of human nature, and it would take a serious effort on everyone's part to combat it properly.
In time, he hoped Mack's efforts would bear fruit, and they would be able to withstand this assault and defeat this other faction. However, from what Mack implied there were more dangers out there and Freddie didn't like the idea of a group of children deciding things for themselves. While child psychology was not his specialty, he was versed in the subject. He knew if they were allowed to continue, their outlook on the world would be irrevocably skewed toward violence. They would be unable to lead happy, fulfilled lives, as much as that was possible in a scarred world. But for now, there was only one child he had to be concerned with; his friend's son.
As he walked through the settlement, he saw the others going about their business, carrying out Mack's orders, while he himself returned to the apartments. Maggie had left the meeting as soon as it was over and Freddie saw her walking back toward her home, where Tristan undoubtedly was waiting for her. Freddie quickened his pace and was soon there, knocking softly on the door. Maggie looked around, not expecting any visitors, but she smiled and welcomed Freddie inside.
“I hope you don't mind the intrusion, but I wanted to meet Tristan properly,” he said, and held out his hand. Tristan took it.
“Tristan, this is Freddie, he's someone I've been with since the apocalypse first happened. We've been through a hell of a lot together. He's a good man.”
“Yes, we have,” Freddie said pointedly, and raised an eyebrow toward her.
Freddie noticed that Tristan was quite reticent and seemed to want to shrink from view. The young man stepped back toward the edge of the room and bowed his head, his shoulders rounded, looking for all the world like he wanted to be anywhere else.
“I wonder if I could have a few moments alone with Tristan?” he asked innocently. Tristan's head snapped up at this, but Maggie scowled and pulled Freddie aside.
“Is that what you came here for? A house call?!” she said in an exasperated whisper.
“Maggie, he's been through a lot. Let me help. Let me do what I do best,” he said.
“He doesn't need your help. He has me,” she replied. Freddie was about to say something else when Tristan piped up in a high-pitched voice.
“It's okay, Mom,” he said.
Freddie looked at Maggie and stepped away from her, turning toward Tristan. “I'm a counselor, Tristan, and I'd like to have a talk with you, if you're willing. Your mom can stay if you'd like...”
“No, it's okay,” he said. Maggie turned toward him, shocked, but Freddie gave her a reassuring glance and, in that moment, she knew her son needed this.
She could pretend that things were normal now that she and Tristan were back together. Yet, she knew he had been through a great deal, and there were most likely a lot of things he was dealing with that she never would know about simply by virtue of being his mother. Although it was difficult to swallow her pride and admit that, after all this time, she still couldn't be the only person her son needed, she knew deep in her heart he was in good hands with Freddie. He would take good care of her son. With that, she hugged Tristan and nodded to Freddie to show him he had her support and understanding. Then she left the two of them in the apartment together, hoping Tristan emerged from this whole ordeal unscathed.
Once Maggie left, Freddie gestured for Tristan to take a seat. The young boy sat down in an armchair, while Freddie took the couch, swinging one leg over the other.
“I know this might seem a little strange,” Freddie began, “but it doesn't have to be. I'm just here for a chat. I was a counselor before all this happened, and now that we're here I decided to open a practice again. My goal is to help people through whatever they need to work through. We've all been through a lot, and sometimes it's difficult to talk about the things we've done to survive. It can be hard to accept this new reality for the way it is. I promise you that what you say in this room will stay between us.”
“You won't even tell my mom?” Tristan asked with wide eyes.
“Not even your mom. You don't have to be afraid of telling me anything. I'm not here to judge you, I'm simply here to listen, if you need it. If not, we just can talk about the weather and I can go and do other things,” he added with a smile.
Tristan smiled, too. Freddie tilted his head and waited for Tristan to speak, but the words didn't come. So Freddie led the conversation.
“So, what's it like being back with your mom again? It must be good to see her.”
“It is,” Tristan replied awkwardly. “We didn't get to see much of each other before this. I was with my dad, mostly. I didn't think I ever would see her again.”
“And how did you feel when you saw her again? I know she and Mack were captured by the Lost Children, but I don't know any of the specifics.”
“At first, I couldn't believe it was her. But then she looked at me, and I knew. I was g
lad she was there with me, but I was sorry she got captured.”
“But you helped her escape.”
“Yes. Peter, he's our...he's the leader of the Lost Children, he said that he was going to make an example of them. I didn't want to betray him, but I couldn't let my mom die.”
“What's Peter like?” Freddie said, sensing that Tristan was becoming more emotional.
Tristan sniffed. “He's strong, knows what he wants. He's like an adult in that way, I guess, but he's one of us, a kid. He showed us we didn't have to be afraid, and that we still could live in this world.”
“It sounds as though you have a great deal of respect for him.”
“I do...”
“But?”
“But he's...he thinks he's right all the time. He's so obsessed with proving a point that he just wants to destroy everything. He sent us out to do things, and at the time they seemed to make sense, but now...”
“What kind of things?”
Tristan wrung his hands and his breathing became more rapid. “Tristan, it's okay. Remember, I'm here to listen. You're not going to get in trouble,” Freddie said in a reassuring tone.
“Mom and Mack weren't the first adults we captured. Some of them came wandering through our territory and we took them. We tortured them then sent them away. Peter used them to show us that we were stronger than adults. When we first got together we would spy on other groups and go up to them. We'd pretend to be lost and helpless and they always would take us in. Then we would kidnap any kids they had and steal their food and guns. Then we would run away before they could do anything. We threatened people and attacked them and it was so easy because they couldn't bring themselves to attack kids. They thought we were helpless, just like Peter said, but they were the helpless ones.”