He gets up an' he lights a cigarette.
"Senor Caution," he says, "believe me you got what they call theese wrong ideas. Sabe? I don' know nothin' about some peoples who do sometheeng to you. I am jus' sittin' here waitin' for a gringo who work for me, see? I don' know what the hell you theenk you are talkin'. Sabe?"
"You don't say," I tell him. "Just fancy that now. OK. Well you just listen to my renderin' of this little piece. I reckon that you're stringin' along with Paulette Benito. I reckon that Granworth Aymes wasn't the only guy that she took Rudy Benito for a ride over. I reckon you're number two. I gotta hunch that you two are just waitin' around for Rudy to die off an' then you an' Paulette was goin' to get hitched up. Well, you ain't - savvy?"
I think I will try this guy out. I get up off the rock an' I put my gun in the pocket, an' I make out that I am goin' to get myself a cigarette outa my pocket, an' he tries it. He takes a flyin' kick at my guts an' I am waitin' for him. I do a quick side step, smack up his foot as it shoots at me an' bust him as he goes down.
We mix it, an' I get goin' on this guy. I am rememberin' that old sour-puss of a Mexican dame kickin' me in the face an' throwin' the lantern at me, an' I am also rememberin' just what the guy who came down to the cellar to fix me woulda done if he'd got the chance.
I bust this Luis like hell. I close both his eyes an' crack some teeth out. I twist his nose till it looks like it is as tender as mine is, an' generally I give him more short arm stuff than I have ever issued any guy with for a helluva long time.
Then I chuck him in the cactus. He is all washed up an' he don't even care that a cactus spine is stickin' in his leg. He just ain't got any interest in life at all. I go over an' take a look at him an' it looks to me like I won't have any more trouble with him for quite a little while. So I go back to where his horse is, take off the bridle, the bellyband an' the stirrup leathers, an' I come back an' I make a nice job of Luis. I tie him up so neat that I think it will take him about a coupla years to get outa this tie-up.
I take a knife off him which he has got an' his rifle an' I chuck 'em in a hole an' bury 'em. I take his pants off him an' bury 'em too. I do this because I reckon that even if he managed to get outa this tie-up he wouldn't be much good without pants - it would sort of affect his morale.
Then I go back to the Hacienda. I work round the back an' I bust in through a window that is easy. I reckon that Paulette an' the Mexican jane will be sleepin' upstairs, but I am still careful not to make any noise. The light is good an' I can see plenty. I am in a sorta kitchen at the back an' I get outa this an' gumshoe along the passage openin' doors an' lookin' in as I pass rooms. One is a bedroom that ain't bein' used an' one is a sorta storeroom.
After a bit I get into the room where I was talkin' with Paulette before I went to Zoni, an' I look around. I am lookin' for somethin' that looks like a safe or a place where papers would be kept.
After a bit I find it. It is a wall safe behind a picture on the wall. It is let into the wall an' it has got a combination lock. I don't worry about the lock because after all the wall is only wood. So I get back to the kitchen an' get myself a canopener an' a strong carvin' knife that I find there an' I start diggin' around the hinges of this safe until I have burst them off. After about a quarter of an hour I fix it. I get the safe open.
Inside there are two-three boxes with some jewellery in them an' a lotta papers. I leave the boxes an' I take the papers over to the veranda an' I start lookin' through 'em. After a bit I find what I want. It is a share transfer authorising the transfer of some shares in a railway company from Rudy Benito to Granworth Aymes. It is witnessed by Paulette.
I look through this pretty carefully, then I stick it in my pocket. I take the rest of the papers back to the safe an' I put 'em back like they was before an' fix the safe as well as I can, an' I put the picture back in front of it.
I am pretty pleased with the night's work one way an' another I reckon I'll get this job cleaned up pretty soon. I look out over the mesa. It is near time that dawn was breakin' an' there's that peculiar sorta half light that comes between night an' mornin'.
On the table there is a box of cigarettes. I take one out an' light it. Then I go over to the sideboard. I give myself a drink.
I have just sunk half the liquor when a light is snapped on.
I turn around an' standin' in the doorway I see Paulette.
She is wearin' a very swell blue silk dressin' robe. Her ash-blonde hair is down an' is tied up with a ribbon. She stands there smilin' a funny sorta little smile, an' in her hand she has got a.38 Colt.
I finish the drink.
"Well, well, well, Paulette," I say. "Just fancy seein' you again so soon."
She comes into the room. She is still holdin' the gun on me. "So you're back, Mr 'G' man," she says very quiet, still smilin'. "Why don't you knock on the door when you want to come into a place?"
I take a drag on the cigarette.
"I'll tell you why, baby," I tell her. "I came back here because I had a big idea I might take a look around an' find somethin' I wanted, but I am sorry you interrupted me first. But there is just one little thing I'd like to know, Paulette. Why don't you put that gun away?"
She laughs.
"Maybe you'd like me to, Lemmy," she says. "I expect you would. You know I think you've had enough luck for tonight. Maybe it's time you had a little bad luck."
"You're tellin' me," I tell her. "Listen, Paulette," I say, "ain't you the mug? The worst thing about you dames is that you always overplay your hand. You're the sorta woman who would come in on a poker game with a pair of two's just hopin' that the other guys would think you'd gotta full house, but you made a big mistake tonight. You shouldn't have 'phoned through to Daredo.
"When some guy bumps me over the head on the road to Zoni, an' takes me off to some place to give me the works, I was wise that that was the telephone call you put through to Daredo, an' why? Well, there can only be one reason an' that reason was that you thought it would be pretty dangerous for yourself if I got as far as Zoni an' saw Rudy. So you fixed with Luis Daredo to get me before I got there.
"By the time I have got to Zoni an' seen Rudy, Luis' pals have wised him up that I have got away, so knowin' that I'll take this road back to get on to the main State road, he sits behind a clump of cactus way down from the house an' waits for me with a rifle.
"Well, it just didn't work. I have bust Luis good an' plenty, an' he's pretty sick right now."
She is still smilin'.
"That doesn't really matter, does it, Lemmy?" she says. "I'm still on top of the game."
"You're tellin' me," I tell her. "But what's the good of you bein' on top of the game? Where do we go from here? Listen, Paulette," I say, "why don't you get yourself some sense? What do you think you're goin' to do with that gun? Do you think you're goin' to shoot me? How come? Be your age."
She laughs out loud this time, an' she looks as sweet as pie. I'll tell you this Paulette has got one helluva nerve.
"Aren't you being a sap, Lemmy?" she says. "And do you think you'll be the first dick who's been killed in Mexico and not missed? I'm goin' to kill you, Lemmy, not because I particularly want to, because in several ways I find you rather attractive, but I think you're a little bit too consistent for my way of thinking. You're obstinate you know. You're the sort of man who would go on working and working, following his nose so to speak, until he might do all sorts of things that might even be inconvenient for me. I'm choosing the lesser of the two evils."
I flop down in a chair. She is standin' in the middle of the room right under the electric light. I look at the gun in her hand. It is as steady as a rock. I reckon this dame will kill me without even battin' an eyelid.
I don't feel so good. I am burned up that just when I am gettin' ideas about this job that I should be ironed out by some dame. Me - I never thought that I would be bumped by a dame.
"You know, Paulette," I tell her. "I think you're bein' silly. What you got t
o bump me for? What harm can I do you? I don't get this sorta business at all."
She just smiles.
"Well," she says, "here it comes, Lemmy. I'm going to give it to you. And I'll try and do it so that it won't hurt too much. How will you have it - sitting down or standing up?"
"Justa minute, Paulette," I say. "There is just a little thing I wanta say to you before you start the heat"
"All right, Lemmy," she says. "I'm listening. Go right ahead, but don't be too long."
I start thinkin'. I think as quick as hell. You gotta remember that earlier in the evenin' I told you that Paulette came an' put her hands on my shoulders when she was talkin' to me. When she took her hands away she sorta let 'em drop down the sides of my coat an' her right hand rested for a minute on my Luger which was in its shoulder holster under my left arm. OK. Well, maybe she will think that the gun is still there. She won't know that the Mexicans pinched the holster off me an' that I have got the gun in my right hand coat pocket.
I get up. I let my hands hang loose by my sides.
"Well, well, well, Paulette," I say. "If I've gotta have it I reckon I'll have it standin' up. Maybe you're not very keen on doin' anythin' for me, but there are two favours I would like to ask you. One is that I would like to have another shot of that bourbon of yours before I hand in my checks an' the other thing is that I would like you some time or other to send my Federal badge to a dame in Oklahoma. I'll give you the address. You don't have to send it now. Send it in a year's time if you like, but I sorta feel that I'd like her to have it."
She laughs again.
"Just fancy now," she says, "the tough 'G' man getting sentimental about a woman."
I shrug my shoulders.
"That's the way it is," I say.
I turn round an' I walk over to the sideboard. I pour my-self out a shot of bourbon, an' I drink it I put the glass back on the sideboard, an' I turn around.
"OK Paulette," I say, "here's the badge. I'll leave it on this table."
I put my hands sorta quite natural in my right hand coat pocket, an' I fire through my coat. I fire at the electric lamp an' I get it right, at the same moment I drop on my knees an' I hear Paulette fire three times. I take a leap forward like I was a runner gettin' off the mark, an' hit her clean in the belly with my head. She goes over backwards. I grab her arm an' twist the gun out of it.
"OK baby," I say "Now let's take it easy."
"Damn you, Lemmy," she says. "What a fool I was to even give you a chance."
"You're tellin' me," I say. "Why you didn't plug me while I was drinkin' that bourbon I don't know. Still I never did know a dame who was really swell with a gun."
She don't say nothin'. She is just breathin' hard. I throw her gun over the veranda an' still holdin' her by the arm I walk over to the electric standard lamp that is in the other corner of the room an' I switch it on. Then I take a look at her. She is still smilin' but it is a hard sorta smile.
"Well, here's where we go, lady," I say. "I reckon you played your hand as well as you could an' it didn't quite come off. You know," I tell her, "if you'd had any sense you'da shot me while I was drinkin' that bourbon. Then I'da been nice an' dead by now. Then you coulda got your friend Luis to chuck me in some hole around here an' nobody would have ever known that that big bad wolf Lemmy Caution had come bustin' around annoym' poor little Paulette. Tough luck, baby!"
"That's as maybe," she says - her voice is sorta tense - "but I'll be glad to know what you're charging me with. You say you're a Federal Agent, but I've no proof of that. I've never seen your badge. I find you here in my house in the middle of the night. I'm entitled to take a shot at you. This is Mexico."
"That's OK," I say. "An' maybe you could get away with a story like that. But I ain't worryin' about them shots you had at me. I woulda worried if they'd got me an' they didn't. I ain't pinchin' you for them shots. I'm pinchin' you for some thing else."
She flops down on a chair an' she starts cryin'. The way she is sittin' her robe has fallen hack a bit an' I can see a piece of leg. I get to thinkin' that this Paulette sure has got legs that are easy to look at. I don't say nothin'. I just stick around waitin' for her to try an' pull somethin' else.
After a bit she stops cryin' an' looks up at me. She looks sweller than ever. She sorta smiles through the two big teardrops that are hangin' in her eyes. I'm tellin' you that this Paulette is one helluva actress, an' I would back her, under ordinary luck, to kid a Bowery tough that he was travellin' in ladies' powder puffs an' likin' it.
"Get me a drink, Lemmy," she says.
I go over an' get her one. I give her a strong one. I reckon she needs it, an' she will need it more before I am through with her. I take it back to her an' watch her while she is drinkin' it.
She puts the glass down.
"I know I've been a fool, Lemmy," she says, sorta soft, with her eyes lookin' at the floor, "but you must try and understand. I told you how I felt about Rudy, and I had an idea that you were going over there to put him through the mill. I knew that once there you would drag up all that old stuff and remind him of something that I wanted him not to remember just now - that I'd made a fool of myself over Granworth Aymes. I didn't want him to be bothered just at the time when he is dying and trying to think all the best things of me that he can. So I telephoned Daredo. I told him to get somebody to wait for you and hold you somewhere so that you couldn't get at Rudy. But I told him that I didn't want you hurt."
Some tears started runnin' down her face again.
"You bet I didn't want you hurt," she goes on. "I don't expect you to believe me, Lemmy, but I'm telling you that, even though I've only known you for a few hours, I felt that you are the sort of man who might really mean something in my life."
She looks up an' her eyes are swimmin'.
"Don't you see, Lemmy," she says. "Don't you see... I love you!"
I look at this dame with my mouth floppin' open. I reckon that when they was issuin' out nerve they issued this kiddo with enough to run the Marines on. Here is a dame who has just been on the point of blastin' me down with a.38 gun an' she is now tellin' me that she loves me!
An' the joke is that the dame has got somethin'. She has got that sorta thing that makes you wanta believe her even though you know all the time that she is a first-class four-flushin' double-dealin' twicin' sister of Satan who would take a sleepin' man for the gold stoppin' in his right hand eye tooth.
I look at her an' wonder. Maybe you heard about that classy dame Cleopatra who slipped a bundle into Marc Antony when the guy wasn't lookin'. Maybe you heard of Madame de Pompadour who had the King of France so heel-tied that he thought backwards just so's he wouldn't ever come up for air an' know he was nuts.
Well, I'm tellin' you that this Paulette was born outa her time. She oughta been born in the Middle Ages just so's she coulda pulled a fast one on Richard Coeur de Lion an' kidded him that he was a Roman gladiator with knock-knees. This dame is so good that she almost believes herself.
"Listen, honeybunch," I tell her. "So far as I am concerned I reckon it is a great pity that you didn't find all this stuff about lovin' me out before you started that act with the gun. An' I can catch on that you certainly didn't want me around at Zoni askin' Rudy questions an' findin' out one or two things about you - such as the fact that you was stringin' around with Granworth Aymes; that he was your sugar daddy an' that you was the guy who helped pull the wool over the eyes of that poor sap of a husband of yours while Granworth was doin' the big plunderin' act.
"An' do you think that I don't know why you are pullin' this lovin' wife act now. I reckon it is because you wanted to make certain that you was goin' to have the dough after Rudy's dead. It wouldn'ta been so hot for you if he'd left it to somebody else because he didn't like your bein' Granworth's lovin' baby, huh? It woulda been tough if after kiddin' Granworth into handin' back the dough he'd pinched from Rudy, an' then dyin' an' gettin' himself outa the way, Rudy told you to take a bite of air an' handed over
the money to some home for Mangy Rattlesnakes. That woulda been too much for you, wouldn't it?
"So you start doin' a big act with Rudy. You make out that you are the naughty little wife who only wants her sick husband to forgive her so's she can start all over, an' the poor mutt does it, an' even while he is dyin' you are kickin' around with that lousy gringo Luis Daredo."
She don't say nothin'. I just watch her like a snake just to see how she is takin' all this hooey that I am handin' out to her. She sits there lookin' at me with the tears runnin' down her face.
"OK, Paulette," I tell her. "You an' me is goin' upstairs an' you are goin' to get yourself dressed an' then we are goin' places, an' don't try anything on wil lya, because I would just hate to get really tough with you."
She sticks her chin up.
"Supposing I refuse to go," she says. "I'm an American citizen and I've rights. Where's your warrant? Where are you going to take me? I want a lawyer."
"Baby," I tell her. "Don't get me annoyed. I ain't got any warrant but I have got a very big hand an' if I have any more hooey outa you I am goin' to put you across my knees an' I am goin' to knock sparks outa that portion of your chassis that was made for slidin' on. As for wantin' a lawyer, as far as I care you can have six hundred lawyers all workin' overtime with wet towels round their domes, but even that mob couldn't get you outa the jam you're in. So take it easy an' be a good girl otherwise I'm goin' to smack you plenty."
I take her upstairs an' I stick around while she gets her things on. After this I look around for the Mexican jane but she ain't there, so it looks as if she has scrammed some place.
Paulette ain't sayin' a thing. She just looks like hell. When she is ready I take her outa the house an' back to where the car is. In the car I got a coupla pair of police bracelets an' I shackle up Paulette an' stick her in the back so's she can't move.
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