Indiscretions

by Donna Hill

  Taking a deep breath and feeling somewhat better about her decision, she strolled purposefully out of the courtroom, her heart smiling with every step as she made her way down the corridor to wait for Sean.

  Khendra paced the lobby and briefly crisscrossed the steamy pavement as she watched the sea of harried faces streaming by. But Sean’s face was not among them. Checking her watch one final time, she realized she could wait no longer and returned, reluctantly, to the courtroom. Confusion and disappointment fought for first place in her emotions. Once the court proceedings began again, however, she was able to temporarily put Sean out of her thoughts. But she still could not shake the uneasy feeling inside of her.

  The small, intimate Italian restaurant was dimly lit, and soft music played in the background. Alex had already arrived when Khendra entered the restaurant. She was immediately taken to his table and, as she approached, he rose to greet her.

  “What would you like to eat?” he asked when she had settled herself in her seat.

  Khendra was nervous and agitated about being there, and also because she hadn’t had an opportunity to talk with Sean. Food wasn’t on her mind. “Will you order for me?” she asked as she watched the waiter fill the crystal goblets with water.

  Khendra quietly surveyed the tastefully decorated room, as Alex scanned the menu. He ordered mussels as an appetizer, the house salad, veal with sage in white wine, and fettuccini with pesto for them both, and a bottle of wine.

  “Do you come here often?” she asked, attempting to make conversation after he had returned the menus to the waiter and rested his eyes on her.

  “I bring special people to dine here from time to time.” He took a sip of water from the delicate goblet and looked at Khendra over the rim of the glass. “You’re a very beautiful woman, Khendra, but I’m sure you know that.”

  “That couldn’t be the reason you asked me here tonight.”

  “Let’s put business aside for now, shall we? I’d rather you just sit back and relax. Enjoy your meal, and we can talk later.”

  “I’d prefer to get this out of the way.” Her tone was calm but clear.

  Alex, sensing Khendra’s mood, decided to try another tactic. He could wait. “Why don’t you fill me in on the case you’re working on?”

  Khendra still wished he would get to the point, but she leaned back in the soft-cushioned chair and began to relate the details of how she was handling her latest case. She talked until the waiter began serving their meal. She was starting to relax a little as they began to eat heartily. Maybe she would get through this after all. As Khendra turned her head to ask the waiter standing nearby to refill her glass with water, she saw something that caused her heart to momentarily freeze. She had turned just in time to see Sean exiting the restaurant, his arm casually wrapped around a tiny waist.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  For several seconds, Khendra couldn’t keep her heart from hammering in her chest. She went through an array of mental explanations for why he would be there with another woman. It was obvious from the intimacy of their contact that he knew the woman very well. She could think of no explanation that would make the feeling of betrayal disappear.

  An overwhelming sense of hurt and anger engulfed her at once. Her appetite was gone, and she completely lost track of what Alex was saying. It wasn’t until he placed his hand on hers that she even remembered he was there.

  “Where did you just go?” he asked, breaking into her troubling thoughts.

  “I…I’m sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew.” She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “But I guess I was mistaken.”

  Alex briefly looked in the direction that had caught Khendra’s attention, an inquisitive look lifting his brow. “I see. Well, I certainly hope it didn’t bring back any unpleasant memories. I want this evening to be special.” He smiled at her invitingly.

  She immediately dismissed his look and his remark. She looked him squarely in the eyes, forcing her emotions beneath the surface. “I was under the impression we were here for a business dinner, and nothing more.”

  “Of course. But I’m sure we’ll find other things to discuss as well,” he replied in a controlled voice.

  Khendra finished what she could eat of her meal and nervously checked her watch. “It’s getting late, Mr. Counts, and I have quite a few things to do this evening, so if we could get to the point.”

  “That’s what I admire so much about you, Khendra. You don’t mince words. You’re direct and assertive. I like a woman who isn’t afraid to say what she feels.” His eyes roamed over her as he spoke. “That’s why I feel so sure that making you a partner would be good for the firm.”

  “Thank you. But I thought we discussed this already.”

  Alex had finished eating and took a sip of wine before he spoke. “You’re a bright girl, Khendra. I’m sure you realize that nothing comes easy. You would be the first female partner the company has ever had, and it would be based on my endorsement.”

  “Are you trying to tell me I would never be offered this opportunity based on my own merit?” Her voice rose in astonishment.

  “I would never say such a thing,” he said, smiling cautiously. “However, without inside support, it would be extremely difficult.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” she asked, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

  “Because I like you. I like you very much. And I think that together we can do wonderful things.”

  “I’m sure you’re referring to the job.”

  “Why of course, my dear. What else would I be referring to?”

  Khendra knew that her experience with men was limited, but she knew a double entendre when she heard one. “As long as we understand each other.”

  “Yes. But as I mentioned before, nothing comes easy. If you want this job, you’ll not only have to show the firm you can do it, but me as well.”

  Khendra was getting tired. “It would be a lot easier on us both, Mr. Counts, if you would just say what you mean.

  “I’m sure you’re quite aware of what I mean.” He gazed directly in her eyes. “I’ve invited a select group of friends out to my boat next weekend for dinner and dancing. I’m sure you’ll attend this time.”

  She took a deep breath and rapidly explored her options. This was all too much to focus on, especially when thoughts of Sean and the woman kept infiltrating her mind. She would work it out later. Now, she just wanted to get out of there. “What day?” she asked finally.

  Khendra dropped her bag on a chair and kicked off her shoes. She was glad she didn’t have to concern herself with making excuses to Alex about driving her home since she had her own car. Anxiously she walked to her answering machine to check her messages. Anxiety gave way to disappointment when the only message was from Charisse, wanting to know when they could get together for lunch.

  Plopping down on the sofa, her mind raced back to thoughts of Sean not keeping his appointment with her earlier. Then the troubling scene at the restaurant surged back into focus, and her imagination began to run rampant, conjuring up all sorts of pictures of Sean and the mystery woman.

  Stop it! Just stop it! she scolded herself. He wouldn’t do that to me. I just know he wouldn’t. There has to be a perfectly reasonable explanation, and I know as soon as I talk to him, he’ll clear this up.

  She held onto that fleeting hope as the evening hours slowly slipped away. The sun was just peeking over the horizon when total exhaustion finally seduced her, enveloping her in the total silence that had kept her company throughout the long night.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Khendra sat behind her desk sifting through the assortment of notes and transcripts she had to review prior to her afternoon court appearance. She tried to push aside the throbbing headache from her lack of sleep. Her headache, combined with the thoughts of yesterday’s events, made it impossible to concentrate on anything.

  Restless, she exhaled an exasperated sigh and walked to the window. It
was nearly noon, and she had not heard a word from Sean. He had been out of the office all morning and was not expected back. Yet he hadn’t called to say a word about having missed their rendezvous.

  As the minutes ticked by, her feelings of insecurity became more intense. Maybe it was a mistake to get involved so quickly, she thought, her misery deepening. What did she actually know about him other than he took her breath away whenever she looked into his smoldering black eyes? But how many other women did he have the same effect on? She had been a fool from the beginning with him. She should have followed her instincts.

  But he had awakened another side of her that she couldn’t deny, a forced more powerful than any emotion she had ever experienced. Her thoughts of what he had aroused in her led her to toss her doubts aside. She would let her heart be her guide. Whatever happened, they would work it out, she decided with finality. She had to believe that.

  Standing over the kitchen stove, Khendra prepared a light meal of broiled red snapper and a tossed salad. After a long, tedious day in court, she wasn’t in the mood for anything too heavy. She placed the plate of food on a tray, along with an ice-cold glass of cranberry juice, and headed for her bedroom.

  A cool evening breeze caressed the sheer white curtains, giving the room a tranquil atmosphere. Khendra slipped out of her shoes, sat on the bed with her legs folded, and placed the tray on her lap. She turned on the television and leaned back against the overstuffed pillows, ready to catch the evening news and enjoy her meal. She had just put a forkful of salad into her mouth when the doorbell rang. A brief frown knitted her brow. Now who could that be? She placed the tray aside and padded to the door.

  When she glanced through the peephole, her breathing stopped short, and her stomach did an Olympic somersault. But then she caught herself and nonchalantly opened the door, leaning against the frame with a look of total indifference,

  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

  Her heart almost melted, but she turned the ice back on. “Oh, are you? About what, exactly?”

  A devilish grin lit his face, and the glacier that had formed around her heart began to melt. “Are you going to let me in and blast me out, or let me have it out here in the hallway for all the neighbors to hear so I can be totally humiliated?”

  “Get in here,” she said, fighting to keep a straight face as she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

  As she gently tugged him through the open door, his eager mouth swept down onto hers, leaving her weak and wanting as the kiss quickly fanned the fires that were barely held in abeyance. He pulled her to him, his own need for her blinding him to the impropriety of their situation. As his desire bloomed hard and swift, he molded her supple curves against him as he stroked her with sure fingers. She clung to him, wanting to rekindle the intimacy she felt she might lose, the intensity of her own need leaving her breathless and trembling in his embrace.

  Yet, even as the heated contact between them charged the very air they breathed, a tiny corner of reality clung to the edges of her consciousness. She couldn’t let him cloud her thinking with his intoxicating kisses and tantalizing touch. She had to maintain some control, she thought dizzily, as his hot fingers slid underneath her blouse and gently caressed her breasts, which grew rigid with his touch. But all thought of control was quickly extinguished when his hungry mouth captured the bud his fingers had released.

  Her soft cry of surrender was tenderly swallowed up in his kiss, as his sugar-sweet tongue plunged into her mouth, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through her body. All doubts and sanity flew out the window when he skillfully shut the door with the tap of his foot and swept her up into his arms in a single motion, his lips never leaving hers.

  He lowered her to the carpeted living room floor and lay on his side next to her, his desire radiating out of his coal-black eyes. His mouth descended on hers again, while his fingers opened the button of her skirt and slid it down over her hips. With the agility of a black cat, he eased on top of her, threading a muscled thigh between her yielding ones.

  Once again she felt herself slipping under his magical spell, and she knew deep within that she couldn’t let it happen. If she allowed him to master not only her body, but her mind, she would be lost forever, and she couldn’t let that happen again.

  “No, Sean!” she cried, pushing him off with all of her strength. Quickly she sat up and fixed her clothes, avoiding his stunned gaze.

  “What’s wrong?” He tried to touch her, and she pulled away.

  “We need to talk, Sean,” she answered quietly. He stood and walked over to the sofa, then turned to face her. “All right, talk.”

  “Isn’t there something you want to tell me?”

  “About what, Khen?” he said, an edge of annoyance tingeing his voice.

  “About yesterday for starters.” She stared at him hard, her warm brown eyes now cold with doubt and frustration.

  Sean took a deep breath, jammed his hands into his pockets and walked out onto the terrace. Bracing his palms against the railing, he contemplated how he could get around what he knew had to be said. It would change everything. Khendra was still so fragile emotionally. He was afraid to risk having her not understand. There had to be another way. At least until he was sure she felt more secure with him.

  He turned to her and inwardly cringed at the cold look of disdain that filled the eyes that had just so recently held nothing but warmth for him.

  “Listen, I’m sorry about yesterday, Khen,” he whispered sheepishly, reluctant to look her in the eye.

  “Sorry! Is that all you have to say?” she sputtered, unable to believe her ears.

  “I know I should have called you, but things got so busy, and before I knew it, the day had flown by. I knew you would be gone for the day and angry,” he rambled on, “so I just figured I’d get some sleep, let you cool off and then I’d try to explain.” He looked at her with his easy, award-winning grin, and took a cautious step forward.

  “Don’t even think about it, Sean!” she ground out between clenched teeth, her hands planted firmly on her hips. The slap of her words stopped him dead in his tracks.

  He knew instantly, by her no-nonsense stance and the chill of her words, that she wasn’t about to settle for any crap from him. He had to think fast.

  “All right,” he said in a defeated tone. “I was wrong. There was no reason not to call. I guess old habits die hard. And you deserve better than that.”

  “What kind of wishy-washy explanation is that? Is that supposed to make everything all right? You’ve got to be kidding. Where were you last night, Sean?” she asked, her question more of an accusation.

  A tightness gripped him in the gut, and for a split second his first thought was to jump on the defensive and walk out, but he knew that tactic would never work with Khendra. She was just as stubborn as he was. She’d never come running after him, feeling that she owed him the apology, like all the other women. He would have to tell her something—and fast.

  “I told you. I went home…and went to bed.”

  “Alone, of course.”

  “What are you—”

  She held up her hand to halt any further conversation. “Don’t insult me with your lies, Sean. I saw you last night.” A cold knot of fear twisted in his stomach. “The least you could do is have the decency to tell me the truth!” She turned on her heel and stormed off into the kitchen, burning tears of anger brimming in her eyes.

  She felt him come up behind her, and her insides tightened. She wouldn’t let him sweet talk her. Not this time, she reaffirmed silently. She held her arms akimbo, her back rigid with determination.

  He gently placed his hands on her stiff shoulders and felt the muscles tighten under his fingertips. I’m not going to lose you, Khen. Not now. Not over this. He hung his head and sighed deeply, knowing there was no point in keeping secrets from her any longer, not if he wanted the relationship to work. And he knew deep in his soul that he wanted her more than any other woman he had ever
known. “I guess it’s about time I told you everything,” he said slowly. He took a deep breath, and turned her around to face him. “The woman you saw me with…was my wife.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  She felt her whole body become infused with a kind of pain she had never experienced. Her breathing seemed to halt somewhere between her chest and her throat. The impact of his words was like a vise that had gripped her heart and had begun to slowly and painfully pull it to shreds. She looked at him through eyes that didn’t quite see, and for one hysterical moment, she didn’t know him any longer.

  “Khendra! Khen! Listen to me,” he pleaded, seeing her drifting away from him. “It’s not what you think. I said was.” He shook her. “Did you hear me, I said was!”

  A frown of confusion masked her face. “What are you saying?” she asked weakly, a glimmer of hope lighting her eyes. The urge to knock him out for scaring her half to death released the grip that had wrested her heart.

  “We’ve been divorced for about a year now. Last night was the first time I’ve seen her in nearly six months.” A wave of relief flooded through him once the words were finally out. Now, he just had to assure her there was nothing going on between he and Carol, and never could be again.

  “Let’s sit down. I think we have some talking to do.” He put his arm around her shoulder and felt her relax against him. He briefly shut his eyes, trying to find the words to explain.

  “…her drug habit nearly destroyed her and me.” He sighed, the memories rushing back in waves. “Then her last suicide attempt was the final straw. The newspapers ate it up, and me with it. It nearly ruined my legal career.”