Then, I felt the other thing.
I felt someone else retract.
I felt it. I felt the foreign presence there, even as it receded.
Once I let the realization in, it infuriated me.
It scared me, too, but the main feeling emanating off my light in those first few seconds felt a hell of a lot more like rage.
I understood, too, where the urge to perform the telekinesis came from.
That urge to hurt and maim hadn’t only––or even primarily––been aimed at the seers in the room. I felt others in the Barrier space around the table feel the same thing. Not all of them, but enough of them, and enough of the right ones among them, that I knew I hadn’t imagined it.
I felt that awareness on Varlan, first.
I felt it on Balidor next, then a whisper from Dalejem... then Jon. I felt it on Yumi an instant after those first four, then Wreg. I knew I probably would have felt it on Tarsi before any of them, if I could feel her in the first place, which I couldn’t.
By the time I could see again, I realized I still sat in Revik’s lap.
We were no longer kissing, not in those seconds after he exploded the lights, but he still had his hands wrapped around my hips, and I sat flush against him, my hand on his cock, the only thing between us apart from our clothes. I was still breathing hard, and the pain, once I let myself go there, was bad enough that I had to bite my lip to stay silent. Revik was hard against my fingers and palm, pressing against me.
His pain, if anything, hurt worse than mine.
Even with all of them watching us, I found myself letting out a low curse, fighting my own light. Even there, with that particular audience, with what I just felt leaving my husband’s light, like a roach scuttling for the shadows, I had to remind myself why I couldn’t keep massaging him where I felt him wanting it.
I looked down at his face, and saw pain in his expression, too.
He averted his eyes, looking past me to the rest of the room. Only then did I turn my head, following his gaze to look over my shoulder.
A few of them had nicks on their faces, hands and necks from the shattered lights.
The light in the room now came from the strip rimming the interrogation room floor, as well as another ring around the four corners of the ceiling. Someone must have raised both sets after Revik broke the overhead lights.
Now, as I watched, someone raised them even more.
I still fought to breathe, to control the tendrils of my aleimi snaking around us.
I felt the others start to recover. Despite the number of them watching us, the pain I felt from the group frightened me enough that I clamped down harder on Revik’s light. Embarrassed, I took my hand off his groin, but I couldn’t seem to make myself let go of him entirely. I gripped his arms through the long-sleeved shirt he wore instead, fighting to slow my breathing without looking at any of them. Once I had my body more or less under control, I forced myself to turn and slide off his lap. I felt him not liking that any more than I did, but he made no move to stop me. I landed on my rear on the padded bench next to him.
I didn’t move very far away.
I couldn’t make myself, even knowing all of them were staring at us, and why. I couldn’t take my hands off him wholly, either. My fingers wrapped around his thigh and promptly began massaging the muscle there, even though I felt an immediate reaction in Revik’s body and light when I did.
I blinked to focus my eyes, still concentrating most of my light on shielding us.
Because of that, I couldn’t feel their lights very well.
I could see their faces, though.
Even as I thought it, Revik wrapped an arm around me again, from behind that time. Pulling me flush against his body, he gripped me diagonally across the chest, holding my shoulder firmly, holding my back against his side and part of his chest. There was absolutely no mistaking the possessiveness behind the gesture.
More than anything, I found it a relief.
They continued to stare at us, but now some of them looked embarrassed.
I saw Chinja glance at Raddi, even as Poresh glanced at Neela. I knew the latter two were dating, but I’d also heard Chinja was dating one of the females in the crew, although no one had given me a definitive answer as to which one. Anale? Illeg? I had no idea.
In any case, the heat in those stares didn’t really dim, even after the four seers looked away from one another’s faces. I saw a guilty, flushed Loki glance at Dante just long enough to turn even redder. I noticed in that same exchange of looks that Dante herself looked a lot pinker than usual, herself.
I didn’t feel anything untoward in Loki’s look at her, though.
When I looked at Loki, all I could see was his new girlfriend, Gina, all over his light.
Coupled with that feeling of entanglement between the two of them came a desire that made me flinch when it interacted with me and Revik’s light, and the pain that still coursed between us like a sentient force. I also got a lot more information about the current state of Loki and Gina’s relationship than I really wanted, including the fact that they hadn’t actually had intercourse yet, despite a number of close calls and some preliminary oral sex.
Again, more than I really needed or wanted to know about either of them.
More than that, the sheer level of frustration I felt in Loki’s light hardly did my own pain any favors.
I could feel that the lack of said sex was still mostly to appease Dante, who both Loki and Gina, separately and together, had been trying to convince of the authenticity of their relationship. They’d done that in part by slowing down on the physical end of things, and by sleeping in separate rooms.
I got the strong impression Loki didn’t think it was working, though.
Moreover, Gina was getting royally pissed off at him about it.
But yeah, his sexual feelings weren’t aimed at Dante.
Rather, Loki was struggling with the fact that Dante was in the room at all, partly because his relationship with Gina was confusing how he saw Dante herself, making some part of him want to slide into the role of a pseudo-parent. That same desire to protect the offspring of his lover also made him struggle with whether he should attempt to order Dante out of the room, due to her age, her relative inexperience with seer sexuality and the very clear direction this experiment had taken with me and Revik.
He really, really wanted to order her out of the room.
He wanted it badly enough that it was causing a kind of crisis in his light as he struggled with what a bad idea that felt like to him, in terms of his relationship to Dante herself.
That probably came from the part of his brain that actually knew Dante a little.
Again, that whole situation might have been funny, but for the expression on Loki’s face, and the glimpses I got of his light. The pain he was in because of Gina and the confusion about how to handle Dante herself was all too real for him. He wanted to protect her without alienating her, and he didn’t know how to do either.
Luckily, he didn’t have to be the one to do it.
Vikram did it for him.
“Dante,” Vikram said, his voice hard. “I thank you very much for your services, cousin, but we no longer need you here. I would like very much for you to go back to the tech room now and finish the work you’ve been doing to prep us for Dubai.” Vikram glanced at her, his expression neutral, despite that harder edge I heard in his voice and the pain I saw in his violet eyes. “...Now, please. Kindly take Jaden with you.”
Dante, who normally would have pushed back, at least in my experiences with the young comp-head, didn’t so much as open her mouth. Nodding, her cheeks still pink, she rose silently to her feet, the hand-held clutched to her chest. Once up, she glanced at Jaden, who sat behind her at the comp desk. She motioned with her head for him to follow.
Jaden didn’t seem to see her, though, not at first.
He was staring at me.
I saw his eyes focus on Revik’s arm wrapped aroun
d me, right before they slid back to my face, to whatever he could see in my expression.
Unfortunately, as I caught that deer-in-headlights look on his face, I recognized the rest of the expression there, too, above and beyond his obvious shock at whatever he’d seen after Revik and I went into that trance. I should recognize it; we’d lived together for almost six years. I’d seen him turned on before. I’d seen it when it was aimed at me, and I’d seen it aimed at other people, when he thought I wasn’t looking. I’d seen it aimed at porn, for that matter, and, once or twice, I’d seen it aimed at Cass.
Not like everyone didn’t look at Cass now and then.
Revik had looked at her.
Forcing that thought out of my head as my pain abruptly worsened, I started to pull away from Revik himself, almost subconsciously that time, but he tightened his grip on my shoulder, holding me against him. I let him hold me, willing that other pain to dissipate, to unravel around me as I let the echo of those thoughts fade.
I focused on Jaden again, somewhere in that.
Feeling the sexual desire emanating off his light in the next handful of seconds, I realized he might be misconstruing my stare, and averted my eyes. Even so, I couldn’t avoid the rest of what I’d felt in those few seconds. The truth was, a lot more of Jaden’s sexual desire felt aimed at me, specifically, than I really wanted to think about. I could feel it there even now. I also realized it had been there for weeks, far more than I’d been letting myself notice in a real way, despite Revik’s occasional snide comment.
I didn’t let myself look at Jorag at all. Or Dalejem. Or Jon.
I still felt things off all of their lights that I wished I hadn’t.
It hit me suddenly that my parents had been in the room, too. Even as I thought about them, though, I realized I couldn’t feel them anymore. Before I could stop myself, I looked over at where they’d been seated next to Balidor and Tarsi. Both chairs were empty.
I stared at the empty chairs, and felt a profound relief.
Revik held me tighter. Yeah, your father left. Kali followed him.
He sounded relieved, too. He also sounded nervous, I noticed.
It hit me in those few seconds that he was afraid of my father.
Meaning my biological father, Uye.
The thought might have been funny under different circumstances, but instead it only brought back another flush of anger. I found myself remembering us sitting together on that beach, and the fact that Uye’s protectiveness hadn’t been aimed at me so much as his wife. I definitely didn’t get the sense that it was Kali he didn’t trust in that equation.
I felt a pulse of heat off Revik at that, but I pushed it away.
That’s not true anymore, Revik sent anyway, ignoring my attempts to push him off. It may have been true once, but it’s not now. He’s worried about you now, Allie.
I didn’t answer.
I found my eyes shift towards where Dalejem had been sitting, and found that he had left, too. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, either. All of these people walking out, because they hated the idea of Revik touching me.
My own damned husband.
Allie... Revik sent it softly, blowing heat at me. Allie, I love you. I adore you, wife. More than anything. None of that matters to me, I swear it. I only care about your father because I strongly suspect you will care, once you get over being so angry at them.
Forcing myself to exhale, I nodded. Even though I shoved aside the thing he’d said about Uye, I could feel the glimmer of truth there.
I felt it around Kali, too, and stopped, blanking my mind.
Yeah, Revik sent with a sigh. I know it is her you are really mad at.
I didn’t answer that, either. My eyes remained on the group in front of me. I felt a near hostility coming off my own light, even as I caught glimpses of eyes avoiding mine.
I didn’t feel anything off of Wreg, really.
Jon felt deeply embarrassed, though, and like he was wishing he’d left, too.
Even Varlan’s light had a charge to it that I’d never seen in him before. That charge bled through his normally impenetrable shield, which was something in and of itself. Like with a few of the female seers, most of that charge seemed to be aimed at Revik. Even as I fought a pale stab of jealousy from watching the older seer check out my husband, I saw Varlan’s attention linger briefly on Raddi, too, who sat on the other side of the brushed steel table.
Then again, Raddi was also pretty hot.
Feeling a dart of anger off Revik, I glanced up at him, smiling in spite of myself. Feeling his lack of returning humor, I merged my light deeper into his, closing my eyes and feeling his whole arm and body tense when it made both of our pain worse.
You can’t seriously be worried, I chided him.
He pressed a not-subtle erection against the small of my back.
You’re really going to check out another male right now, wife? His words sent more pain through my light, maybe because I felt the heat behind that sharper edge, or maybe because he held me tighter, pressing his cock against me more deliberately. Right in front of me? That seems like a good idea to you? Really?
I clicked at him from inside my mind, half in humor as I fought to hold my light, to keep it marginally separate from his. To pretend this was normal, maybe. That this was just us, flirting, being our normal crazy kind of possessive.
Even as I thought it, I nudged him with my arm.
For the gods’ sake, I sent, still soft. I don’t think you need to worry. I can barely stand to be in the same room with you, husband.
His pain coursed higher. His other arm slid around my waist, his hand gently caressing my side even as he murmured back into my light.
You were staring at Jaden... he accused me quietly.
I softened my body against his. You can’t be serious. You’re not really serious, are you?
I’m serious that you’re asking for another fucking spanking, he sent, quieter still. Maybe a harder one this time. Maybe with more than just my hand...
My pain abruptly worsened.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only seer in the room to have that reaction.
A few expressions shifted on the seers who still remained seated in front of us, pretty much right after Revik sent that last string of words.
I saw Balidor’s expression tighten, just before he averted his gaze, his face flushed down to his neck. I saw a faint smile touch Varlan’s lips, and what might have been Loki turning a darker shade of red even compared to what his face had looked like before. I felt Loki thinking about Gina then, thinking about her loudly, with visual aids, and I found myself thinking that she’d probably be in for a bit of a shock when he went to see her later today.
I clamped down even harder on the shield around me and Revik.
Regardless, I still felt my face and neck grow hotter as that pause stretched.
Of course, even in my embarrassment, my self-control didn’t exactly improve. I pressed deeper against Revik’s body, fighting the flush of pain that wound back through both of our lights. His hand tightened on my shoulder once I realized what I was doing and stopped. I felt more than saw him thinking about what he’d said, even as he tried to keep it out of his light, or at least away from where the others might feel it. He didn’t have a lot of success though. I felt his light slip out of control right before his aleimi wound even deeper into mine.
You still want to watch me give one of them head, wife? he asked, his voice in my head softer still. Because I think we might get a few volunteers if you asked now...
I didn’t answer, but felt my face flush up to the roots of my hair.
In the same set of seconds, I avoided a suddenly much more interested glance from Raddi, as well as a significantly less subtle one from Jorag.
Great. Now I could feel Raddi wanting Revik, too.
Even as I thought it, I found myself glancing at Tarsi for the first time, conscious of an even deeper embarrassment when I remembered that she was still s
itting there, watching and listening to all of this. Being Revik’s only living relative and a sight mentor for me, Tarsi had always functioned as a kind of grandmotherly or great-aunt type figure for me.
Something about remembering an actual family member sitting there also reminded me of Jon, who now looked as bright red as Loki. The combination finally got me to pull my head together. For real, I mean.
No way in hell was I letting this turn into some kind of group sex thing with Jon and Tarsi here.
Behind me, Revik let out a low snort of humor.
He hadn’t been the only one to hear, that, either. Their eavesdropping ended up being a good thing that time, however. I heard Jax snort a laugh right after Revik did.
I saw Balidor smile and roll his eyes, too... and I saw Pagoj and Yumi do the same.
When I glanced around the room, I saw that humor reflected on a few other faces, including Tarsi’s... and Wreg’s.
Thank god, I couldn’t help thinking.
At that, Wreg laughed aloud in his deep voice, which prompted Vik and Neela to join him, until the whole table more or less busted up.
I knew at least some of that was nerves and embarrassment, but I didn’t care. Anything to end the awkward silence that preceded it. Watching them all smile, I smiled back until I remembered that foreign presence I’d felt and tensed, feeling my throat tighten.
I decided to dive in before things got weird again.
“Well?” I said, fighting to keep my voice clear, and marginally commander-like. “Did you get anything off of that?”
Hearing a few more snickers, that time from my severe understatement and possibly my choice of words, I fought to smile, to turn things more deliberately humorous, and failed.
“I hope so,” I added with that fake smile. “...Because if not, we’d better do the next session in separate rooms.”
Seeing the exchanged looks around the table, I realized that had come out way wrong. I flushed, waving off my own words.
“...Or at least somewhere that we’re not in danger of killing anyone... or blowing up the ship,” I added, to clarify.
Instead of making them smile, or even shifting things into a more strategic and military tone, I felt all remaining humor dissipate at my words.
Allie's War Season Four Page 116