So Different

by Robinson, Ruthie

  “I do now,” he said. “This is the first time I’ve seen you here.”

  “Haven’t been able to make it much this year. I met this new guy since I talked to you last,” she screamed into his ear. “How are you?”

  “I’m good,” he said.

  The fans were all standing up now, hearing the rumble as the train made its way over the track. The doors of the arena were open, the larger ones that turned this venue into an outdoor one. The horn of the train sounded and the fans began stomping in earnest. He looked at his sister and his pops, stomping along with the crowd, laughing and shouting, and he joined in.

  Two minutes later the train roared past, shaking the building and adding to the already frenzied atmosphere.

  The two teams were lined up, waiting for the lights to dim. The Divas were expected to win handily over the Prissies. Adam wasn’t so sure—the two new Diva jammers were hurt. Red and blue lights roamed around the building as the women rolled onto the rink, their fans shouting and stomping their encouragement, loosened up by good old Lone Star Beer.

  He searched for Mariah too many times to count during the bout. No luck. Who knew where she was. She could be here, but he would not be able to find her in this crowd. He wasn’t sure what options he had left. He could always check her address at work, but he wouldn’t. He needed her to give it to him.

  The Divas lost, another upset in this season of upsets. The Prissies were beside themselves, dancing and rolling around the arena. Their win was a boon for Casper and Team Thunderstorm. They would have another shot at the league championship. They just needed to win their final match and then win the rematch with the Divas. Adam said goodbye to this dad and sister and headed home.

  * * *

  Mariah had made it to the game, and was tucked into the announcer’s booth, playing assistant to the loud and obnoxious Jimmy Derange. She saw Adam sitting next to his father and some girl; not Tiff, this one was dark-haired. He’d moved on faster than even she’d thought. She heard from her teammates that he’d stopped by practice, which had surprised and pleased her, but not enough to go back. Glad she made that decision to move on.

  Of course she could have gone back, and then what? Been back at his house on her back? Not that she had anything against that, but that wasn’t getting her where she now wanted to be. So, no looking back.

  * * *

  First week in July

  He felt like an idiot stopping by the Skate-o-torium. He suspected she wasn’t here, but apparently he was too much of an idiot to prevent himself from going. He entered the building, said hello to the old guy that manned the counter when he wasn’t dozing, and walked through the door leading to the rink.

  He hated this. Her teammates were standing around, watching him, not at all helpful. If he were a weaker man he’d be intimidated by them.

  He took a deep breath and headed over to them. Lisa he recognized, along with Sally, and the other woman, large and formidable, he knew was a blocker, but hadn’t met her officially. From the looks he received he knew they weren’t going to offer him any assistance, but he’d try anyway.

  “Hello, Lisa,” he said.

  “Hey,” she said, returning his smile. She liked him, but not enough to help him. The others were silently standing around, glaring.

  “Is Mariah here?”

  “No.”

  “Any idea when she might return?”

  “Sorry. I don’t.”

  “Thanks,” he said and turned around and left. They watched him leave, laser eyes beaming into his back.

  “Think we should call Mariah and tell her he came by again?” Good & Plenty asked.

  “Nope. She told us that she didn’t want to see him. We are going to honor her wishes. He did look kind of disappointed, and he’s really cute,” Lisa said, watching him exit the building.

  “Fuck him,” Sally said, skating away and putting an end to that discussion.

  He walked back to his car, annoyed and irritated, and went home to spend his evening waiting uselessly.

  * * *

  The following Thursday he was back at the other location, the Rail Yard. No sign of her car or her electric scooter in the parking lot. His insides squirmed around in his chest; he hadn’t seen her in two weeks now. She couldn’t hide out forever; he’d now become a crazed stalker, like his ex-fiancée.

  He entered the main area from the foyer and looked over at her team lining up. Of course she wasn’t among them. Of course Sally gave him the evil eye as he entered the room. No surprise there. He turned around and left, deciding it wasn’t worth it, that she wasn’t worth it. Fuck it, he thought, he didn’t need this grief.

  * * *

  “What’s up with you?” Yvette asked, glancing over him as they walked into the kitchen. She had volunteered them to clean up Sunday’s dinner dishes.

  “Nothing.”

  “Yeah, right. You’re moping around like you lost your best friend,” Yvette said, setting her plate on the counter. “Are you still seeing that derby girl? What was her name?”

  “Mariah,” he said.

  “Mariah. Why haven’t you brought her by to meet us? You brought all the other dull and insipid ones over. What’s up with this Mariah?”

  “We’re just friends,” he said, stacking his plate on top of hers.

  “Okay… since when did you stop introducing your friends to your family?” she asked as she scraped their plates into the disposal, an old habit from their childhood.

  “Nothing. She wants to be friends,” he said.

  “To be friends? That shouldn’t be too hard for you. What’s the problem?” she asked.

  “There’s no problem.”

  “You want what?” she asked, smiling at the look on his face as what he wanted became clear. “Men. What is it with you all? So she wants more than sex and you don’t.”

  “Not sure,” he said.

  “Not sure of what? That she wants more, or that you don’t?”

  “I just got rid of one crazy fiancée remember?”

  “Yeah, like six months ago.”

  “Don’t get mad at what I’m going to say,” he said.

  “Okay.”

  “I do want to see her more than Tuesday and Thursday nights.”

  “Did you just say Tuesday and Thursday nights?” she said, glancing over her shoulder, shaking her head at his response. “Like an appointment?”

  “No, it wasn’t like that, and she agreed with it, too. She didn’t want anything different than that, either, at the beginning.”

  “But she does now.”

  “She does now,” he said.

  “So, what to do?”

  “I’ve been trying to contact her. I’m willing to date if that’s what she wants,” Adam said.

  “No harm in dating her; get her hopes up that you want more. It’s all good as long as you can keep getting that nice Tuesday and Thursday action,” she said.

  “It wouldn’t be like that.”

  “Right,” she said.

  “See? I knew I shouldn’t have talked to you. I knew that you’d take her side.”

  “It’s not a side, but think about what you’ve said. You’re going to play along in order to keep the whatever flowing. That’s not what any woman wants to hear. Just let it go, find another woman to screw. That can’t be hard. You’re not too bad-looking.”

  He was silent for a minute. “It’s not just that. She’s funny and tough, a little bit of a challenge,” he said.

  “So you do like her?”

  “Yes, enough to see if we can be friends, too.”

  Yvette sighed. “Well try and talk to her. Be honest, no bullshit; it will only come back to bite you. If you want sex, tell her. If you want to be friends to have sex, tell her that, too. Just be up front. If she’s a big girl, she’ll tell you to kiss her ass,” she said, smiling at that.

  He laughed, shook his head, and walked out of the kitchen. If he could only find her, he’d take Yvette’s advice; he did like her.
It was scary, though. He’d be moving from Jamie, who’d looked great on paper but was psycho in person, to Mariah, who didn’t look great on paper, and was probably proud of that fact.

  * * *

  “Your teeth look great, Jenny,” he said, sitting back and removing the gloves from his hands. “You’ve got to lay off the candy, though. Your mom works too hard to make sure your teeth stay healthy. You’ve got to help her,” he added, feeling strange in his role as the adult chastising a child. He sounded way too much like his father.

  “Okay, doc,” she said, smiling her new and improved smile.

  He rolled back in his chair, stood up, and walked out of the room. It was lunchtime. He walked back to his office and took a seat behind the desk. His dad’s office looked out into the street. He turned to face the window and his mind drifted to its chief occupation these days—Mariah.

  He needed to formulate a new plan, but what could he do without vital information, like where she lived or her number? He was locked in an internal battle with himself, closing in on searching through his pop’s files. And you know what? She could have been more understanding, he thought more than a little irritably. He was the one that had just gotten out of one relationship with an unstable, crazy woman. It made sense that he wasn’t ready for another.

  He’d gone back to the track only to have the old man tell him that the Brass Knuckles were done practicing for the season. The girls were taking some time off.

  He’d tried Pinky’s one night. No luck there. So he was changing his search. He was going to locate his buddy Casper. He remembered that her team practiced on Monday nights at The Rail Yard, and should be practicing still. They had one final scheduled game against the Prissy Missies that they had to win.

  He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Casper refused to help him. Was it too much to ask to have a chance to at least talk to Mariah, to explain his position and to see if they could somehow manage a friendship in addition to sex? Yes, he was now sure friendship he could do.

  * * *

  Second week in July – Monday night

  He’d waited in his car outside of the Rail Yard. He’d become his ex. He’d seen Casper enter the rink ten minutes ago and had followed her in and found her standing around talking with her teammates.

  Catching sight of him, she smiled and skated over to him. He relaxed for the first time in a while. Maybe this was his ray of sunshine at the end of the night—a tall six-foot lesbian who liked him. He smiled back and walked over to meet her.

  “Dude,” she said, her smile widening as she skated to a stop in front of him. She laughed and he joined her after a second. “Bad, huh?” she asked, laughing again.

  “Appears so. Where is she?” he asked.

  “Around.”

  “I thought you might help me,” he said, looking at her. “That you’d understand.”

  “Understand what?” she said, laughter still present in her eyes.

  “I just want to see her again, that’s all. I didn’t like the way it ended and I don’t want to leave it like that,” he said.

  “Uh-huh. That’s it?” she said, examining him for signs of what?

  “That’s it.”

  “I’ll tell her you stopped by, then.”

  “I’d like to talk to her personally.”

  “Why?” she asked and sighed. “Look, take it from me and my experiences with Mariah. She could get serious about you. She’d never admit it, of course. So this would be the perfect time for you to get out, to leave her alone. Really, proceeding now would only open her up to more hurt. She’ll only want something more serious from you, and you don’t want that, do you?” He didn’t reply.

  “In case that wasn’t clear enough for you, let me say it this way. You’re in a good place right now. A place where in all good conscience you can break if off and walk away; no harm, no foul. You two met, screwed. You didn’t promise her anything, she didn’t promise you anything,” she said. They stood there, both quiet.

  “Don’t want to,” she said a few moments later, more statement than question.

  He nodded. “No,” he said.

  “Well then, you can reach her at her brother’s restaurant.”

  “I thought her brother was blind,” he said.

  “What? Blind people can’t manage restaurants? They can’t see, but he can still think,” she added.

  “Mariah works there?”

  “A couple of years back, she and her brother went into business together, Joshua’s Place. It was mostly to help him. She’s not interested in owning a restaurant, but it was what Joshua wanted, and Mariah wants whatever Joshua wants,” she said.

  “So she’s a manager?”

  “Waitress mostly, but a little bit of everything, including managing, bartending, whatever needs doing.”

  He was silent again.

  “Didn’t really know her at all, huh?” she said.

  “Guess not,” he said, staring out into the night. “So why are you helping me?” he asked, turning his gaze on her.

  “I like you. And I feel a little sorry for you. I’ve been in your shoes before.”

  “Searching for a woman?” he asked.

  “Clueless,” she replied and laughed. He grinned.

  “Anyway, Mariah is working tonight. I’d try later on this evening. It starts to get slow around nine, and maybe she’ll have some time to sit with you,” she said.

  “Where?” he asked, and watched her locate a pen and write the address on his palm.

  “Thanks.”

  “Don’t thank me. You’re not home yet, Dorothy.”

  “Thanks anyway. Your team going to win this year?” he asked.

  “We always do,” she said, and they stood for a few minutes more discussing the upcoming match.

  “Hope to see you there. Good luck,” she added as she watched him leave.

  * * *

  A shower and change of clothes later, Adam left his apartment. He had a general idea of the location of Mariah’s brother’s restaurant. It was in town, near his office. It was near his father’s office, he reminded himself; however, unconsciously he’d started to consider it his. He had begun to contemplate living in Austin. Couldn’t tell you when that had started. But it had.

  Could he live here, he wondered, amazed again that he was seriously pondering the notion of settling down here, so close to his family.

  Houston had remained an option, but not for the sole pursuit of money anymore—he wasn’t going back to that. He’d grown up in a family of givers. They had lived well, but had also helped others. The need to help others was a huge part of him. He would not subjugate it ever again, for anyone.

  He’d done volunteer work at a neighborhood dental clinic in Houston, one that had provided low-cost dental assistance to those with huge needs and very little money. Plus he’d also helped out at the citywide dental clinics when he could. In the absence of that, he started this bartering at his pop’s practice. He loved it—his new way of helping out.

  He hadn’t shared his new business practices with his pops, but he would. He also wondered if he couldn’t expand the practice to offer other low-cost services, perhaps join up with other dentists who were of similar mind. He’d give it some thought. It could be his way of challenging the world.

  That had been another major difference and source of conflict between him and Jamie. She had continuously nagged—or, as she put it, persistently encouraged—him to quit. She wanted him to leave those people—those Latinos, those damn Mexicans—alone. He’d overheard her say that particular string of words to a friend and thought she’d been joking. He’d stayed hidden from her view and kept listening. She’d been serious. She’d said she knew what he was, but that she was willing to overlook that part of him for his income-producing attributes and the lifestyle that came with it. Mexicans were hard workers. Everyone knew that.

  And what to do with that? The only thing he could do. He’d called it off. He was half of those people, half damn Mexican, his m
other 100 percent full-blooded damn Mexican. He chuckled now at her reaction when he’d told her it was over, but it had hurt, and it was troublesome to think he’d been sleeping with someone who held disgust for a part of his heritage. It turned out she’d been crazy, too.

  He cleared his throat. Marriage was for keeps. Look at his parents, for example. Of course he couldn’t marry her.

  He turned onto the street of the restaurant, looking out for it as he drove slowly.

  So Mariah was a caregiver. His thoughts turned once again to her working with the blind and taking care of her brother. It was all at odds with the tough, sometimes indifferent exterior she presented. He also knew her to be sexy, funny, intelligent, and competitive, and so not what he’d originally assumed.

  Maybe they were more alike than he’d thought. He liked it here, liked being around his family, taking care of those around him when he could; not everyone had it good in this country. He had been blessed with parents who had taught him that.

  He didn’t want to leave Austin just yet, and the work was only part of the reason. The last couple of weeks without Mariah also had an impact on his desire to remain here, however difficult that was to admit now. Of course it was more than sex, but he wasn’t sure how much more beyond friendship it could be. He’d come to terms with that fact, at least.

  He spotted the neon green script that spelled out JOSHUA’S PLACE above the door of an old house that had been converted. A restaurant owned by a blind guy, unusual for sure. Hadn’t known that was possible. What he knew of the blind was limited to Helen Keller, but she had been a far cry from owning and managing her own restaurant.

  The parking lot held a few cars; a good sign, he thought as his eyes roamed over the lot, finally spotting Mariah’s car.

  Nice place. Homey, he thought as he walked through an old screen door that covered a wooden door. He stepped into a small foyer and walked over to the counter that held a cash register and a small sign that read WAIT TO BE SEATED.

  Standing behind the counter was Mariah’s brother. He could see the resemblance. He was older than Mariah, but not by much, and wore a t-shirt and jeans. He was physically fit and handsome.

  “Hello. Welcome to Joshua’s,” he said. “Are you here for a late dinner?”