Killian
“I can’t believe I’ve never played Fallout.” Killian leaned forward to get a better view of the TV screen as his fingers worked the controller. For the past two days since the incident with the horses, he’d stayed in the room with Diego doing nothing but playing video games.
Diego taught him how to play Zelda, and now, they wandered the nuclear wasteland of Fallout.
“I can kind of believe it.” Diego bit his lip as he took out another mutant.
A smile spread across Killian’s face. “Was that trash talk, Diego Jackson?”
“What? No!”
“It definitely was. Well, I see your trash talk and raise you a knife to the head.”
“Hey!” Diego glared at him. “You aren’t supposed to stab me. We’re on the same team.”
“Oops.” Killian shrugged.
“Just for that, we aren’t going to Junktown to save Killian’s life.”
“Wait.” Killian laughed. “That’s an actual quest in the game? Why do I need to be saved?”
“Probably because someone you annoyed wants to assassinate you.”
“We’re so going to Junktown.”
“No way.”
Killian studied Diego. He sat on his bed in front of the TV while Killian leaned back in a chair next to it. It was the most relaxed they’d been together since the day they moved in for junior year.
“What?” Diego asked, pausing the game.
“Huh?”
“You’re looking at me. Normally, when people do that, it’s because I’ve said something weird, but I’ve been on my best behavior today.”
“Would you believe me if I said I like when you say weird stuff?” Killian hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but he didn’t regret them, not when Diego’s face turned an adorable shade of pink.
“N-no.”
Killian stood and approached the bed, giving Diego his best imploring look. “Can we please go save Killian’s life?”
Diego raised an eyebrow. “You just want to see if the character looks like you.”
“So much.”
“Fine.” Diego sighed.
Killian grinned and took a seat next to Diego on his bed, leaning back against the wall. Diego shifted away from him as he restarted the game.
Their characters just got to Junktown when Killian’s phone rang. He considered ignoring the Facetime request when he saw it was his mom. Playing video games with Diego almost made him forget how much he missed her, and he wasn’t ready to let that feeling back in.
But he’d never ignored a call from his mom if he could help it, and he didn’t want to start now. “I have to take this.”
Diego nodded and kept playing.
Killian slid from the bed and jumped onto his before swiping his thumb across the screen. But it wasn’t his mom’s face that appeared.
“Hey, Rory girl.” He smiled at his little sister.
“Killian.” She didn’t smile one of her patented heart-melting smiles. Instead, her lips quivered.
“What’s wrong, Ror? Why are you calling me? Where’s Mom?” He usually only got to talk to Rory when his mom put her on.
“I stole her phone.” She stilled her bottom lip. “I missed you, Kills.”
He looked at the time. Nine thirty. Rory should be in bed, but he missed her too much to tell her that. “I miss you too, kiddo.” His eyes flicked to Diego, knowing his roommate heard every word. He’d always hidden how hard it was for him to be away from his family.
“You should be here.” She dropped her voice. “I’ve been saving money in my piggy bank to bring you home to us. I have thirteen dollars and twenty-two cents. Is that enough?”
He wished he could tell her it was, that he’d jump on a plane and be there for Christmas next week. Instead, he smiled. “Almost.”
“We didn’t have lights last week,” she admitted.
Killian closed his eyes for a brief moment. He remembered many times they’d gone without power until his mom could pay the electric bill. The only reason she even had an iPhone was because it had been a Christmas ‘bonus’ the year before from her boss, a boss who’d refused to give her a raise for five years straight. Because, obviously, a phone was better than being able to pay the bills.
“I’m sorry I’m not there.” He should have been. While he lived a cushy life at Defiance Academy, his family struggled.
His mom’s face appeared on the screen. “Killian James, don’t you say that for one second.” She looked to Rory. “Go get ready for bed. We don’t need to be worrying your brother.”
“Mom.” Killian ached for them.
“No, you listen to me, son, you’re chasing your dream, and I don’t want anything else for you. We can take care of things here. Zoey and Rory are perfectly fine. We miss you, but we love you enough to want you to stay right where you are. Your sister shouldn’t have taken my phone to call you.”
“No, it was good. I miss her.” He tried to force a smile. “I took Diego riding a couple days ago. It felt a bit like home.”
“Diego? The roommate who is a little odd?”
Killian flicked his eyes to Diego who seemed to be trying very hard to act like he wasn’t listening. “More than a little, Mom.”
“It’s a good thing we like odd in this family. Did he like the horses?”
Killian laughed. “He, um, kind of fell off. I think he’s still in some pain. It doesn’t help that I also took him skating a few days before that, and it…didn’t go well.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You be nicer to your roommate, Killian. A winter break with you and he’s just going to end up one giant bruise.”
“I am nice.”
She laughed. “You’re my broody boy. I know you, son. You’ve always been kind. So very kind. But nice… Not always.”
“They’re the same thing.”
“If you really think that, boyo, I haven’t taught you a thing. Kindness comes from the heart. You care, always. Nice is only superficial, and you’ve always been much more than that. I have to get your sister to bed. I love you, Killian.”
“Love you too.” He hung up and leaned his head against the wall. Rory’s sad eyes would haunt him. Unlike Zoey, she didn’t completely understand why he’d left them.
Some days, he didn’t understand it either.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Diego asked.
After a year of hiding his family’s struggles from all the rich kids at this school, one of them knew everything now. But Diego wasn’t like the rest of them. It took Killian too long to see that.
“Nah, man. I think I’m just going to hit the sack early.”
Diego looked like he wanted to say something else, but he clamped his lips shut and nodded.
Killian slid under his covers, letting the warmth soothe him as he pictured his sister’s tear-filled eyes. He’d give anything to hold Rory in his arms, to tell her one day he’d make it okay. That he was doing this for her, for her future.
He set an alarm for six a.m. No more sitting around playing video games. He had to work hard for his family. Hockey was their ticket to freedom.
Killian rotated his shoulder, enjoying the fact that it no longer hurt. He’d felt only small twinges the past few days as he mucked stalls or trained. The trainer would probably have wanted him to give it a few more days, but he wasn’t a patient person.
Kenny clapped him on the back as they walked out of the dressing room freshly showered. They’d hit the weight room after dinner and then taken a few turns around the ice with Kenny shooting on Killian.
If they had to be on campus when most of their team got to go home, at least they were there together.
“You good?” Kenny asked.
“Shoulder feels better than new, man.”
“I doubt that, but it’s good to have you back in net. I made Will play goalie for me the other day, and let’s just say I’m glad he’s a defenseman.”
Killian laughed. “At least I know he won’t be tak
ing my spot.”
“No one could take your spot. You and I are headed for stardom, Killer.” He puffed out his chest. “I can just see it now. Kenny Montgomery scoring the winning goal in the NHL All-Star game—because we’re definitely going to be the best—against Vezina-winning goaltender, Killian James.”
“Why do you get to win the game?”
Kenny shrugged. “I don’t care how good you are. You can’t stop me.”
Killian shoved him, and Kenny ran forward to avoid another hit. He looked back with a grin as they stepped out into the freezing night. “What are you up to this crappy evening?”
“Man, all I want to do is crawl in my warm bed and turn the game on.”
“That’s right!” Kenny’s face lit up. “Jackets are playing the Caps tonight. Asher tried to give me grief, but I know him. He might live in Washington, but he doesn’t give two shits about the Caps.” He stopped walking. “But wait… How do I not know who you root for? You’re not from Ohio. You a Stars fan?” He scrunched his face up in distaste.
Killian laughed. “Nah, man. I don’t really have a favorite. But I watch Columbus since that’s who they show on TV here.”
Kenny nodded as if approving his choice. He was serious about his team.
“Ken, what are you going to do when some other team drafts you? You basically hate anyone who isn’t Columbus.”
Kenny frowned. “I mean… I don’t know, man. I just want to play hockey.”
Killian laughed. His friend was completely ridiculous. Killian could love any team that wanted him.
They said goodbye once they reached Thomas Hall. Killian entered his room and dropped his bag by the foot of his bed. He nodded to Diego, who sat cross-legged on his bed with a notebook in his lap as the TV screen lit his face.
“Why is it so dark in here?” Killian flipped the lights on.
That got Diego’s attention. He finally acknowledged Killian’s presence. “Why’d you turn the lights on?”
“Why were they off?” Killian shrugged out of his coat and hung it by the door.
Diego fixed his eyes on the screen again as he scribbled in the notebook. “It’s like a movie.”
The sounds from the TV finally registered with Killian, and he rounded the bed to find the Jackets game in full swing. “You’re watching hockey?”
Diego spoke with reverence in his tone. “I wanted to see why you and Kenny love it so much. It’s fascinating. These guys move the puck up the ice knowing full well the goalie will stop most of their attempts. They hit each other for the purpose of getting that puck.” He shifted his eyes to Killian. “Do people hit you?”
Killian’s brow scrunched. “Well, I’m the goalie, so they don’t slam me into walls. But sometimes, they run into me.”
“Fascinating,” Diego whispered, his eyes dropping to his notebook.
“What are you doing?” He sat on the edge of Diego’s bed and kicked his shoes off. Eyeing the notebook, he saw lines of numbers and percentages.
“These guys… Some aren’t as good as the others. Take number thirteen, for example. He scored twice in the first period after shoveling the puck to the net six times.”
“It’s called shooting, but go on.”
“Then there’s number thirty-one. He shot five times and missed each one.”
“So, you’re keeping track of their stats?” Killian scanned the lines, noting the jersey numbers and data next to them.
“Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Why else would someone watch a game? It’s like a playground for math wizards.”
What was he supposed to say to that? Killian rubbed his eyes. “All right, enough with the numbers.” He took the notebook and set it aside.
“Hey!” Diego reached for it.
Crawling over him, Killian settled into the open space between Diego and the wall. “No one does the whole stat thing unless they’re paid to.”
“People get paid to do that? It’s so much fun they should do it for free.”
“You have a different idea of fun than most people.” He shook his head. “Okay, I want you to relax. You know how to do that?”
“Relax?”
Killian put his hands on Diego’s shoulders and lightly massaged them. “Just chill. There’s no reason to be so on all the time.”
“I’m not on all the time. Sometimes, I sleep.”
Killian groaned and pulled his hands away, letting his mind focus on Jody Shelley’s color commentary coming from the TV. “All right, watch this next play develop.” The Jackets won the face-off and the centerman slid the puck to a winger.
“As this guy comes up the ice, none of those stats matter anymore. All that matters is this one play. Do you see him deking around the defense? He’s coming in fast. Now, the goalie is preparing to slide out of the crease to meet him. He sees the shooter is going to come in close instead of shoot far out. Leaving the net is risky, because if the shooter passes the puck, the new shooter will have a more wide-open net. But Washington’s goalie is good enough he can probably stop both of them.”
It played out exactly as Killian said it would.
Diego sat transfixed by the screen. “That was incredible. How’d you know that?”
“As a goalie, I have to see everything two steps ahead. Quick reflexes and flexibility are only part of what makes a goalie good at the position.”
“Are you good?” Diego met his eyes.
Killian was a humble guy, but he also knew there was one thing he could do. Play hockey. “Yeah, Diego. I’m really good.”
“That’s so cool. One day, maybe I’ll be watching a game on TV and see you out there. I’ll tell everyone I used to live with that guy.” He grinned. “I’ll be so proud.”
Killian couldn’t take his eyes from Diego. He’d never had anyone other than his family say something like that to him. He shook his head to snap out of the thought and bumped Diego’s shoulder. “If I make it.”
“You will. I’ve never seen anyone work so hard at something.”
The game stopped for intermission, but neither boy moved. “I want to do it for my family.”
Diego nodded in understanding. After the conversations he’d heard, he had to know the struggles facing the James family.
“If I make it, I can take care of them. My sisters won’t need to worry about college. My mom won’t have to work so much.”
Diego didn’t respond for a long moment. “I’ve never had to worry about taking care of anyone but myself. I’ve spent my life basically living in my own world of computers and video games. But you…you only ever think about them.”
Honest conversations normally made Killian uncomfortable, but Diego was so open it made Killian want to talk to him. “If I wasn’t here in Ohio, I’d be home helping my family. Sometimes, I think I shouldn’t be here. Before I came to Defiance Academy, I worked when I wasn’t playing hockey. I was able to contribute.”
“I’m sure they understand.” Diego put his hand on Killian’s arm.
“They do. That’s part of the problem. It just makes me feel worse.”
“Why?”
Killian only shrugged.
“I know we weren’t really friends before this, and I know I’m not exactly the guy that people like you want to be friends with, but you can talk to me, Killian.”
“What do you mean by people like me?”
Diego shrugged. “I don’t know. Normal people.”
“Normal is overrated.”
“You really think that?”
“Yeah.” Killian scooted down in the bed, the day’s exhaustion catching up with him. He shifted to get comfortable and settled in for the final period, not caring that it wasn’t even his bed.
“You okay?” Diego asked.
“Just tired.” He reached around him for a pillow, but they were both behind Diego’s back. So, he rested his head on Diego’s lap instead.
“Why are you tired?”
“Training.”
“Are you going to trai
n tomorrow? Ever think you should take some time off?”
Killian reached up and put a finger to Diego’s lips. “Shh. Watch the game, Diego. No more thinking tonight.”
As the third period started, Killian’s eyes drifted shut. In his final moments before sleep, he didn’t know if he imagined Diego’s fingers stroking his hair.
14
Diego
Diego didn’t want to let go of the warm sleepy bubble he was in. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so well. His back was still tender, but Killian’s stretches and constant icing had helped tremendously. That and the last two days of playing Fallout with his roommate. He hadn’t touched his app work since the horse threw him, and he had a meeting with Peyton this morning to go over her digital mock-ups.
A warm hand slid from his hip, moving up under his shirt to stroke his flat stomach. A wall of muscled chest pressed against his back, and Killian’s light snoring buzzed in his ear.
Killian? In my bed? In my bed with me? Panic lanced through Diego as he tried to remember what the hell happened the night before. We fell asleep watching hockey, and I snuggled him in my sleep!
Killian’s other arm cradled Diego’s head. Mortified, he prayed he could extricate himself from Killian’s grasp without waking him.
Part of him wanted to stay with Killian like this for as long as it would last, but the other—saner—part of him knew that was the worst idea ever. Even worse than Killian thinking he could teach him how to ice skate or ride a horse.
Diego closed his eyes, refusing to let himself think about his roommate as anything other than a friend. Moving ever so slightly, he tried to slip under Killian’s arm. With a loud snore and a murmur of protest, Killian pulled him back against his chest.
He thinks I’m Wylder. Diego’s eyes burned with humiliation. Of course, he wanted this with the right person, but Killian was so not that person.
With a deep breath, Diego managed to roll onto his back with Killian’s hand still splayed across his stomach. As he inched his way across the bed, Diego’s pulse raced when Killian’s eyelids fluttered open. A hesitant, sleepy smile lit his face, but Diego felt like a deer caught in headlights.
Dating Texas (Discovering Me #3) Page 11