Spirit Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic Book 3)
Page 25
Ivy leaned down and nudged him off. He scowled. ‘Bitch.’ Then he immediately returned to the same spot.
She sighed. ‘Why can’t we have a normal conversation?’ she asked. ‘I know you’re capable of it. What have you been up today, Brutus?’
‘Food.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Come on,’ she coaxed.
Absolutely not. This was why he’d avoided long sentences around her before. She’d want to talk; she’d want him to talk. They’d both lose out on valuable sleeping and eating time. You’d think that Ivy, of all people, would understand that but she didn’t truly understand what it meant to be lazy, not like a cat did. It was an art form; it required dedication that even humans like Ivy weren’t capable of.
The man smiled indulgently and focused on Ivy. ‘I have a proposition for you.’
Brutus perked up. That sounded interesting.
‘A new job.’
Wait a minute.
Ivy seemed to think the same. ‘Hang on,’ she said. ‘Kind of you as it is to think of me, Ipsissimus Winter, I would hate for you to be accused of nepotism. It’s probably far better if I don’t have a job. I’m really quite busy already.’
Good girl.
The man held up a finger. ‘Hear me out. Your title will be Global Phantom Solutions and Assurance Strategist.’
Ivy paused. ‘That’s a very long title.’
‘It is.’
‘I thought you said that the more complicated the job title, the less there is to do.’
He tapped the corner of his mouth. ‘I did say that, didn’t I?’
Ivy grinned. ‘Do I get my own office?’
‘If you need one.’
‘I am the only person who can talk to ghosts,’ she mused. ‘I will be providing an important service. Can I have some staff to work with me? There’ll be errands to run and curses to cancel, after all.’
‘I’m sure we can work something out.’
Brutus tutted. Ivy obviously couldn’t see what the man was doing. It was basic manipulation; before she could say Global Phantom Solutions and Assurance Strategist, she’d be working several hours a day. Well, she’d only have herself to blame.
Brutus got up and headed for the door. It wasn’t as much fun here as he’d thought it would be. ‘Open.’ When neither human sprang into action, he growled and tried again. ‘Open.’ Then, for good measure, he reached up and started clawing at the door’s surface. One long good rake along that wood and the man opened the door for him. Brutus slunk out and the door closed behind him.
He took a few steps down the corridor then paused. Actually, this was a bad idea. If he left them alone now, there was no knowing what Ivy would find herself agreeing to. He had to protect her from herself. He twisted back again and sat in front of the door, albeit now on the wrong side. ‘Open.’ No answer. ‘Open.’
Still no answer. Yet again he was forced to resort to scratching. The door swung open but neither the man nor Ivy were looking at him. Their faces were glued to each other’s. It looked remarkably uncomfortable, not to mention unhygienic. The man kicked the door shut and Brutus had to rush forward to avoid his tail getting trapped. He wasn’t going to sit here all day while those two locked their lips together. How utterly ridiculous.
He turned back to the door. If they just left the damn thing open they wouldn’t have this problem.
‘Have I told you,’ the man said, ‘that I love you?’
‘Not today,’ Ivy breathed back. ‘And I’m sure I’ve already said it to you three times.’
‘I have a lot of catching up to do then.’
‘You certainly do, Ipsissimus Winter.’
Brutus rolled his eyes. Fine. He’d wait until they were done but he was expecting some damn good treats for his patience. He bloody deserved them. He hunkered down and curled up, wrapping his tail round him. There were important naps to be taken.
Thank you so much for reading Spirit Witch! I really hope you enjoyed it. It would mean a huge amount if you could leave a review – any and all feedback is so very, very welcome and hugely important for independent authors like myself.
Find out more about me and my books, as well as the chance to sign up for my newsletter at http://helenharper.co.uk
Acknowledgments
In 2016, I was lucky enough to be able to travel from Malaysia to the USA to attend a conference – and have a holiday. My best friend came along with me and, as we wandered out of a workshop, she remarked that it would be a great idea to have a series where the main character was very lazy. From that germ of an idea, Ivy Wilde was born. I had to partake in considerable research – lying on my sofa and binge watching television is a dirty job but someone had to do it. However, there are a whole host of other people who have helped to bring Adrianna’s idea alive.
Huge thanks must go to Karen Holmes from 2QT for her sterling editing, as well as to Clarissa Yeo for her wonderful covers. For this series she mocked not one but two different sets which Facebook followers then voted on. If that was you, then thank you so much for your input! I have to also thank all my family and friends for their continued invaluable support. Without them, none of this would ever be possible.
Finally, a special mention has to go to Scout, Mavis and Lara – three cranky Malaysian cats who have provided no end of inspiration for Brutus. If they could talk, I have no doubt about what they would say. Most of it would indeed involve foooooooood.
About the Author
After teaching English literature in the UK, Japan and Malaysia, Helen Harper left behind the world of education following the worldwide success of her Blood Destiny series of books. She is a professional member of the Alliance of Independent Authors and writes full time, thanking her lucky stars every day that's she lucky enough to do so!
Helen has always been a book lover, devouring science fiction and fantasy tales when she was a child growing up in Scotland.
She currently lives in Devon in the UK with far too many cats – not to mention the dragons, fairies, demons, wizards and vampires that seem to keep appearing from nowhere.
You can find out more - and learn how to get a FREE copy of Corrigan Fire - by visiting Helen's website: http://helenharper.co.uk
Other titles by Helen Harper
The complete Blood Destiny series
Bloodfire
Bloodmagic
Bloodrage
Blood Politics
Bloodlust
Blood Destiny Box Set (The complete series: Books 1 – 5)
Also
- Corrigan Fire
- Corrigan Magic
- Corrigan Rage
-Corrigan Politics
-Corrigan Lust
The complete Bo Blackman series
Dire Straits
New Order
High Stakes
Red Angel
Vigilante Vampire
Dark Tomorrow
The complete Highland Magicseries
Gifted Thief
Honour Bound
Veiled Threat
Last Wish
The complete Dreamweaver series
Night Shade
Night Terrors
Night Lights
Olympiana stand - alone
Eros