by Alexa Riley
“You do realize Collins is only having a baby. Millions of women do it every day.”
He stops his pacing and turns his glare on me. “Only having a baby? Do you have any idea of all the things that could possibly go wrong? Did you think about how impossible it was for me to find the best doctor out there to agree to come live here and be on call twenty-four-seven? Do you have any idea the danger you could put my wife in if Luna decides to quit because you change your mind and go back to being an asshole, or did you just think about getting your dick wet?”
I’m out of my seat and across the room before he has a chance to blink. I’ve got him pinned to the wall and I’m in his face, but I see in his eyes what he’s trying to hide. He’s afraid.
I take a deep breath and let him go as I step back and really look at Kade. His clothes are a mess, there are dark circles under his eyes, and he hasn’t shaved. He looks really fucking tired and it’s not like my brother to be so stressed.
“It’s not like that,” I admit and shake my head. “I don’t know what it is, but this isn’t casual, Kade. You know I didn’t date or take random women to my bed in the States. Like we’ve always said about this island—wives not girlfriends.” I swallow hard before I say the next words. “I think she’s the one.”
As I say it out loud I know it’s true. Somehow in all my resistance I’ve fallen in love with Lula. I don’t know how I haven’t seen it before but maybe it’s because I’ve never felt like this. I would get so angry with the way she looked and walked and talked, but deep down I knew it was because none of it was for me. I wanted her to look at me, walk with me, talk to me, and the fact that she kept on ignoring me made me grouchy as hell.
“You think?” He looks surprised as his eyebrows pull together.
“I know,” I admit. “You shouldn’t be the first person to hear this, but I want you to know how serious I am. I love her, and I don’t have any intentions of letting her leave this island.”
“Damn, brother.” He walks over to his chair and falls down in it. “I did not expect that.” He runs a hand down his face and then a smile tugs at his lips. “Well, I guess that solves that problem.”
“What problem?”
“The one where I was going to kick you off the island so she would stay.” My mouth falls open and he shrugs. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Collins. Especially now that she’s pregnant.”
I take a seat beside him and lean forward on my elbows. “You know she’s going to be okay, right?”
“I’m just really worried about her.” He puts his face in his hands and I reach out and rub his neck.
“Kade, she’s going to be fine. She’s a strong woman and she’s got the best care we can provide. Not only with Lula, but there’s a medical team on this island ready and waiting along with a boat that’s gassed up and planes fueled for any emergency.” I shake my head. “If we were in the States the control would still be out of your hands. You can’t predict what’s going to happen, but if you worry about things happening the whole time, you’re going to stress Collins and the baby out.”
He looks up as if only just now realizing that. “Damn.”
“You have to be at one hundred percent so she can lean on you. Now is your time to be her rock and you can’t do that if you’re not sleeping.”
“There’s just a lot that can go wrong.” He shrugs, but I can see I’m getting through to him.
“There is, but you’re not alone.” I think about Lula and what it will be like when she’s pregnant. I know that I’ll be just as worried as Kade, but I also know he would tell me these same things. “I’m here and Vaughn will be back soon. There’s nothing we can’t do together, right?”
“Right.” He nods and lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’m just going a little crazy but I know you’re right.”
“I love it when you say that.”
“Damn, she really did a number on you.” He shakes his head and laughs.
“What?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile like that.”
“Yeah, me either.” Lula makes me want to be a better man and I can’t say that’s a bad thing. “Maybe you should go in there and take a nap with your wife,” I suggest, and he nods.
“That sounds like a great idea.” He yawns and maybe now he can relax and get some sleep.
We stand up and as we walk out of his office my cell phone rings. I check it and see it’s my friend Sam from back in the States.
“You okay?” Kade asks on his way out.
“Yeah, I’m gonna take this. You go ahead.” Kade nods as he walks out and I answer the phone. “Hey man, how’s it going?”
“Pretty good, just calling back with that information you wanted me to look up.” My stomach tightens when I remember why I called him to begin with.
Sam and I go way back but we still keep in touch even though he travels a lot for the military. He does intelligence work for the feds when they need an expert and I knew he was the only one I could trust to help me out.
“And?” I’m not one to beat around the bush with him, and I don’t want to start now.
“So how do you know this chick you wanted me to look up?” he hedges.
“Does it matter?”
“I’m not sure how you got tangled up with the daughter of a mob boss but you might want to sleep with one eye open, if you catch my meaning.”
The knot that was forming in my stomach drops as I stand there completely still and listen to the rundown on Lula. She’s the daughter of Peter Guzik, the man who tried to kill Kade and then Collins. The man who was last seen in Europe, exactly where Vaughn and Berkley are right this very moment. Chills cover my body as Sam keeps telling me things I don’t want to hear, but I stand there silent as I listen to them. Once he’s finished my mind is a complete blank as I stare into space.
“Xander, you okay?”
I swallow hard and clear my throat just as the door to the office opens a little. I look up in time to see Lula standing there with a bright smile on her face. Her hair is in a messy bun and her cheeks are pink and all I can think about is how beautiful she is.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say and hang up the phone.
“Everything all right?” She walks up to me and puts her hands around my waist, going up on her tiptoes to kiss me.
I kiss her back and don’t answer her because I don’t know if everything is all right.
Chapter Ten
Lula
“I’ll learn to make more things,” Xander says as I take my last bite of pancake and lick the syrup off my lips.
“I think I can live off your pancakes and you for the rest of my life.”
His hands free my messy bun and curls go everywhere as he kisses me. The change in him has been a one-eighty. Almost. I’m happy about that, but I still love the bossy side of Xander. He gets grumpy when he doesn't get his way with me, but it’s kind of adorable.
I pull back and lick the seam of his mouth. “What are we going to do for the rest of the day?”
My eyes close as I put my mouth back on his before he can answer me. I had no idea just kissing could be so intimate and it could make me feel so much.
“We can do whatever you want to do, love.” My breath hitches at the word love.
Earlier when I checked on Collins she was more than fine. I enjoyed getting to gossip with her, but more than anything the more time I spent with her, the more I realized I want what she has. Xander and his brothers are so different, but at their core they’re the same. I have no doubt Xander would cherish the woman he fell in love with, but what if he found out the woman he loves isn't the woman he thought she was?
“What if I want to go back to bed?”
Before I can finish what I’m saying, he has me out of my seat and he’s climbing the stairs to my room. He tosses me onto the bed before going back and locking the door—I’m sure so no one can walk in on us again. It reminds me of how Kade pulled him as
ide to have a little chat when I was checking on Collins.
“You’re back in bed.” Xander smirks as he prowls towards me. “Are you sure you’re not too sore?” He licks his lips. “We could always do other things.”
My whole body heats as I sit up, wanting him to do all of those other things. But like always, my mind rules the decisions.
“I feel fine.” I should probably be sore, but I’m not. The pleasure Xander gave me far outweighs the small amount of pain. I look down at my hands that I’m wringing together and my eyes linger on my bare left ring finger. It’s stupid to think of Xander putting a ring there. Not only is it too soon, but he has no idea who I really am and it would change everything.
He reaches out and tilts my chin up so I look him in the eyes. “What’s wrong, love?” There he goes again with that word. My heart aches every time he says it and my eyes sting as I fight tears. I won’t let them spill because then he’ll know I’m hiding something from him.
“What did Kade want?” I blurt out, pretending that was totally what I was going to say.
Xander’s hand drops from my chin and I wonder if I’ve gone too far. Whatever was said between the two of them was family business, and to the Warsaw men family always comes first. I’m not family but I think I might fall under the girlfriend category.
“He wants to make sure I wasn’t fucking around with you.”
“Is that what we did?” I tilt my head to the side as I think about what the two of us shared. “Were we just fucking around?”
I tilt my head up higher, not sure what I want him to say. I want him more than anything, including the affection and care he’s given me. It’s been so long since someone truly cared for me and that’s what he’s been doing. I get this softer side to Xander and I want it all to myself, even if I don’t deserve it.
“Lula, I’m sure there will be times when I fuck you and take you hard and fast. When we don’t have much time, like before our kids come barging into the room, or before we have to be somewhere. I know there will be times when I need you so badly I can’t wait.”
My intake of breath is sharp, but he keeps going.
“But what we did last night was far from fucking. I was claiming you and worshiping your body. I showed you I was an asshole when you first got here, but I’m going to make it right. Last night was the first step in who I can be for you, if you let me.”
It’s so hard to fight back the tears now. “I don’t know what to say to that.” I swallow the lump that’s lodged in my throat.
“Say you love me like I love you.” I close my eyes as tears begin escaping.
He loves me. I shake my head no because this can’t be happening. I want this so badly, but I can’t say those words back to him without him knowing the truth.
When I open my eyes again Xander is looking at the floor. I’ve never seen him so defeated before. He’s always ready to take anyone on.
I love him more than anything in this whole world and he’s made me feel alive again. He’s made me feel like I haven't been robbed of a future and that maybe because of my asshole father I’ve found my destiny.
None of that matters because Xander will hate me if he knows the truth. How could he believe that this was all a coincidence? He thinks he loves me, but he doesn't know all of me. I’ve worked hard to hide the dark parts and uplifted my whole life to keep on hiding from the rest of the world.
“Give me time. I know I’ve been a jerk since you got here, but let me prove it to you.”
“It’s me that needs time.” I sit up on the bed and lean close to him. I brush my mouth against Xander’s, knowing this might be our last kiss. “Will you give me some time to think? I need to process all of this.”
“I don’t want to give you time but I told you I’d give you anything you asked for.” He drops his mouth back down onto mine and kisses me deeply. I cling to him as I memorize every part of his touch. When he steps back I hate the space between us, but it’s exactly what I asked for.
“I’ll go home and try to master something besides pancakes.” He tries to make his tone light and teasing but I know it’s forced. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” I manage to say as I nod in agreement and he backs out of my bedroom.
“I love you,” he says softly before leaving me alone in my room.
I drop down onto my bed and let the tears come, crying into my hands. I know what I have to do and I’m a coward for it. I can’t bring myself to tell Xander the truth and see the way he looks at me change. I don’t want that to be the last thing I have from him. Right now I have him telling me he loves me and teasing me about us having kids.
I wipe my face and steel myself before walking to Kade’s house.
When I knock he answers the door and lets me in. “How’s Collins?”
“She’s napping.”
I’m selfishly thankful because I don't want to tell her the truth either. It’s my father who almost killed her and I’m not sure how Kade is going to handle the news, but he’s the only way I can get off the island. It will be best for everyone.
“Can we talk?”
“Of course. Did Xander fuck things up already?” he teases with a smirk and I shake my head.
“This one is on me,” I admit. He motions for me to enter his office and I sit down in front of his desk.
I take a deep breath and then spill everything. The words come tumbling out of my mouth, but I don’t leave anything out. The entire time Kade leans back, listening to me without even a twitch of a muscle. Once I’m done, I feel like I’ve purged myself of some kind of evil, but I just sit there staring at the unmoving Kade. I keep waiting for him to explode, but he stays still the whole time.
“I should leave. But don’t worry because I don’t even know where this island is located so your secret is safe with me.”
His voice is even and calm as he leans forward. “What about you, Lula? What about your safety?”
I hadn't thought about that, but it’s probably because the only thing going through my mind is being without Xander.
“That’s not anyone else's problem here.” I look out of Kade’s office window that has a beautiful view of the ocean. “The longer I stay here, the worse Xander and I will get hurt. It’s better to break it off now.” I look back to Kade. “When he finds out the truth, he’ll hate me anyway. He hasn't trusted me since I got here and he was right not to.” I stand up and hold my hands out. “Will you help me get off the island?”
“You’re not a captive, Lula.” Kade rises from his seat too. “I can get you off the island but I really think you should think this over. Nothing good ever comes from making rash decisions in the heat of the moment.”
“I’ll think while I pack my things.” I step away from my chair with my mind already made up. “Thank you for everything, Kade, and for being so understanding. I’m so sorry for what my father has done to your family.”
“I’m sorry for what your father has done to you.” His voice is soft, and my eyes start to water all over again. This would be so much easier if he was mad. This is not how I thought this would go. “I would never punish someone for the sins of their father. My anger lies with him and him alone.”
“Thank you,” I say again. “I’m going to pull together a list of people that I think would love to have this job. I’ll have it for you before I leave.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He waves his hand.
“Are you sure?”
“It will be handled, I have no doubt about that.” He gives me a soft knowing smile.
“Tell Collins I'm sorry too.”
“Stop apologizing, Lula.”
I open my mouth to apologize for apologizing but catch myself. “It was a pleasure meeting your family,” I say instead and turn to leave.
As I make the walk back toward the main house my feet are heavier than ever before.
I freeze when I enter my room to see Xander throwing all my things into boxes and bags.
“Y
ou know,” I whisper as he turns and faces me. Did Kade call him that fast, or was he listening at the door?
“Of course I know.” He tosses more stuff into a box and I stand there watching him pack my things at record speed.
I’ll be off the island in no time at this rate and my heart breaks as I watch him clear my room of my things. I knew this was going to hurt, but I didn't want this to be my last memory of Xander. When he drops the last of my things into a box, he turns around and faces me.
In two long strides he’s in front of me and the old Xander is there in all his glory. He’s as pissed as ever with all tenderness gone. “You were just going to leave?” he grits out.
“It’s for the best.” I lick my dry lips and Xander clocks the movement.
“You can run, Lula, but I’ll find you.”
“What would you do if you found me?” I can’t help pushing him just to the edge.
“I’d bring your ass right back here where you belong,” he answers as his mouth descends onto mine.
Chapter Eleven
Xander
“Xander, are you—”
Her words turn into a moan as I graze my teeth along her neck and follow the trail with my tongue.
“Am I what, love? Desperate for you?” I grind my hard cock into the juncture of her thighs, but the sudden pleasure does nothing to ease the ache.
“All my stuff.” She swallows hard when I thrust against her again. “Oh God, you are, I mean, you were packing my stuff.”
“When I saw you walking toward Kade’s house I knew what you were going to do.”
I reach my hand between us and cup her sex over her cut-off shorts. “You think I’d let this get away?” I kiss her neck again and this time I bite the shell of her ear. “You think I’d let any part of you run out on me?”