I press the buzzer and wait an age for the answer.
“Hello?” She sounds worn out and it only worries me more,
“Pip, it’s me. Let me up.” I try to sound like I mean business but all I actually sound is concerned.
“Rosie! Oh erm ok, two secs!”
I hear the buzz and click of the door and push it open, making my way inside and up to Pip’s flat. When I get there, the front door is already open and my best friend is standing waiting for me, “Hey,” I smile and Pippa returns the gesture, “I’m sorry RoRo!” Pip opens her arms to me and I hold her, I don’t know what’s been going on, but I’m so glad to have her close again.
“Did you enjoy the party?” I ask with a smile as Pippa puts the kettle on to boil.
“Yeah, it was good. Did you have fun? It was so good to see you and Jackson together.” She grins but looks tired; I know there’s something she isn’t telling me.
“Pip, what’s going on? Are you and Ben ok?” I try push gently to get her to open up, “Yeah, we’re great Rosie, I promise you. I couldn’t wish for more,” I see the look of love in her eyes and I know she’s telling the truth. “I’m just so tired Ro. I’ve been working so hard lately and I guess it’s just taken a toll on me.”
Pippa’s words put my mind at ease a little. I know what it’s like to be exhausted and run down; I just need to make sure that I’m here for her, starting with coffee and the chocolate muffins that I brought with me.
“Come on then tell me what’s been going on, you look really happy!”
Pippa and I move into the living room and take a seat on her ridiculously comfy sofas.
“I am. Things are amazing. Jackson has gone to Manchester today for an interview. It’s going to be a big commute if he gets it but it’s a good job with a great salary. It’ll mean we can save to buy somewhere.” I sip at my coffee and still can’t shake the feeling that something is off.
“That’s great. I’m really pleased for you.”
“Pip, what you said at the party…you know that you’ll never lose me don’t you? Regardless of what happens in our personal lives, you and I are solid. Tell me you know that!”
Pippa sighs and smiles weakly, “I do, I know Ro. Honestly I’m just tired. But really I am ok, how are you? Really, how are you coping with everything that’s happened over the last few months?” Pippa pushes the focus back onto me and I know that the best thing to do is just let her, she’ll come to me when the time is right I’m certain.
“Ok, highest highs and lowest lows but we’re getting through it. Jackson has been really supportive, even vetting cafes and bars first to make sure they’re pregnancy free!” I laugh and Pip looks at me confused, “What do you mean?”
“Well, with everything that’s happened, I’ve not been able to be around to be around pregnant women. It just stirs up too many mixed emotions in me. I’m sure I’ll get over it but for now, we’re staying clear of anything pregnancy related!”
Pippa smiles and shakes her head as she takes a sip of her coffee, “I really hope you feel better about it all soon, you did nothing wrong Ro and you can’t avoid it forever,” the concerned look in Pip’s eyes is one that I’ve seen a million times and the familiarity of it makes me feel happy, that’s the first sign I’ve seen that my Pip is still in there somewhere.
“I know, I will. It just hurts Pip.” She reaches out and holds my hand and I look up into her smiling eyes, “Love you RoRo, always!”
“Love you too Pip.”
After a few hours catching up, I feel a bit better about the distance between Pip and I. She’s not her normal self but insists she’s just tired and I have to believe that. I leave Pippa’s flat with a massive hug and a promise that she will come to me for anything and head towards Euston station to pick up Jackson.
“Mr James, your carriage awaits!” I tease as I see Jackson heading toward me.
“What are you doing here? I’d have got a taxi!” Jackson pulls me into a hug and kisses me on the temple.
“I know, I was in the neighbourhood!” I smile up at Jackson and he laughs, leading me out of the station and towards the car park.
As I drive towards home Jackson asks how Pip is and I fill him in on how weird she seemed. He tells me not to worry and that she probably just needs some time to adjust to things. As I pull Audrey into the parking space next to the Range Rover, Jackson’s phone rings and he looks at me with a shocked expression on his face. He answers.
“Jackson James,”
There’s a pause as he listens and then he speaks again.
“I see, erm, yes of course.”
Another pause,
“Oh! That’s fantastic, thank you. Great I’ll look out for it then.”
He pauses again,
“Good stuff, speak to you tomorrow. Thanks again. Bye.”
He hangs up and looks at me with a smile,
“I got the job!” He shakes his head, “They cancelled their other interviews after they met me, I don’t start until January but the job is mine Rosie!” He laughs and his happiness is infectious, I lunge at him across the middle of the car and he pulls me into his lap and kisses me. “First day of the rest of our lives baby!”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Frankie, how are you gorgeous?”
I step inside the familiar office of Francesca Franklin, the musty smell filling my nostrils as her yellow toothed grin greets me from the other side of her desk.
“Jackson, I’d be better if you weren’t so intent on leaving me!”
“Oh Frankie, we always knew this was temporary, it just lasted a little longer than expected. You know I’ll always be grateful for everything you’ve done for me though.”
My meeting with Frankie was to finalise the details of my last book with Gold Star publishing, ‘Romantic Britain – A guide of the most romantic places in the British Isles.’ We decided on a three month tour of the country, I’ve arranged an itinerary and for Rosie to come with me. Frankie was certainly surprised that Rosie and I were not only a couple but getting married and tried to get us to write a book about being two authors in love. The pound signs were clouding her vision yet again.
“Well then Jackson, I guess I’ll see you in the new year with a finished book. I look forward to it. Love to Rosetta.”
I stand to leave, knowing that Frankie isn’t one for pleasantries,
“Oh Frankie Thanks. That book you gave me last year, it changed my life!”
I smile as Frankie remembers giving me a copy of Rosie’s novel and head home, I feel happy and excited for everything that the future holds.
Despite her promises, Pippa has remained distant in the two weeks since I went to her flat and to be honest, I’m furious with her.
Pip and I have been best friends for most of our lives, we argue like sisters but we’re always honest with each other about what has pissed us of. We talk it out and make up, but this time she’s just ignoring me. The thing that’s really getting to me is that it was her who said she was worried about losing me, and yet it’s her pushing me away.
I have done all that I can though. I’ve called and texted her, gone to her flat and tried to figure out what’s going on, but I can’t do any more if she isn’t willing to tell me what’s wrong. I’ve obviously upset her somehow. I know she was a little annoyed about me keeping the fact that Jackson and I were back together from her, but she said she understood that and was happy for us, so it can’t be that. But if it isn’t, then I have absolutely no idea.
Mine and Jackson’s engagement party is tonight, and despite not knowing if my best friend is going to show up, I am excited. Rafe and I have been arranging the apartment, he has set up his sound system so that we can play that party playlists that I have spent hours putting together, and Matthew and Jackson have gone out on a booze run.
I have a new dress and new shoes that Jackson salivated over in the middle of Schuh and to top it off, all of my old curves are back where they should be. Jackson tells me
every day that he thinks I’m gorgeous and sexy, but tonight, when everyone is looking at me as his fiancée, I want him to be proud to be marrying me, and he will be!
“I can’t believe you left your brother to do all the work while you play with your hair!” Jackson says with a smile as he comes into the bedroom to see me running serum through my wet hair.
“The work was already done I’ll have you know, and I need to beautify before people get here!” I pick up my hair dryer as Jackson pulls off his t-shirt and kisses me on the temple before heading toward the bathroom.
“True, I forget sometimes that not everyone wakes up as perfect as me!”
I throw my comb at him with a laugh as she smiles and shuts the bathroom door.
By nine pm the apartment is full of friends and family having a great time. Pete is staying with us and Mam and Dad are staying with Rafe and Matthew and it’s so good to have them all here. Dad and Pete seem to be getting on fantastically well and Mam looks really happy. She’s had months of worry thanks to me, I need to make it up to her.
Pippa hasn’t turned up yet. I keep checking my phone but there’s nothing. No excuses, no apologies, nothing. I am so pissed off with her, and I’m hurt. Have I really lost my best friend with no explanation as to why?
I slam my phone down on to the dining table as I look up to see Jackson pull someone into a hug. Familiar long black hair falls down over his arm as he eyes me over Pippa’s shoulder and I make my way toward them.
“Decided to show up then?” I can’t help the tone of my voice as I ask,
“I’m sorry Rosie; I didn’t mean to be this late. You know me!” Pippa shrugs her shoulders and smiles weakly. What is going on with her?
I take a breath and tell myself to bite my tongue before we end up rowing in the middle of my party.
“Oh well, you’re here now. Where’s Ben?”
“Parking the car, he’ll be up in a sec.”
“Come on Pip, let’s get you a drink. Rosie, I think your brother needs you!” Jackson ushers Pip toward the kitchen and I turn to see Rafe setting up his karaoke machine in front of the TV.
It’s been about two hours since Pippa got here and I haven’t spoken to her since she first arrived. I haven’t intentionally been ignoring her, it’s just that I have a lot of people here and they all want to congratulate Jackson and me, and impart their wisdom on the secret to long happy marriages. My three times divorced friend Patricia truly believes that the key to success is variety, I stifled a laugh at this, certain that she didn’t mean vary your husbands but noting the irony of the comment coming from her.
My attention is drawn away from Sophie’s hellishly boring story about her new kitten by Jackson saying my name over the microphone of the karaoke machine.
“Rosie, can you come here for a second please. Don’t worry; I’m not going to propose!” There’s a ripple of laughter at his terrible joke and I take my place at his side.
“Thank you all for coming here to share this night with us. It’s been a hell of a year, but we’ve come through it all stronger than I ever imagined. I can’t wait to marry you Rosie, and spend a lifetime of happiness with you, so if you can all raise your glasses please, I would like to propose a toast, to my beautiful fiancée. To Rosie,”
A chorus of ‘To Rosie’ echoes and Jackson kisses me on the forehead before continuing.
“Some of you know the news that I’m about to share but most of you don’t,” I notice Mam’s eyes light up and apparently so does Jackson, “No Bernie, we’re not pregnant! I have decided to give up travel writing. I’ve been offered an editor position at a fantastic magazine in Manchester and I have accepted it, but before I start that, I do have one more book to write. So Rosie and I will be going away for a while. I can’t do it without her.”
People start congratulating Jackson and hugging me and I step back a little overwhelmed, as I do I notice Pippa stepping out onto the balcony and follow her.
“Right, enough is enough Pip, what is going on?” I close the door to the apartment as I step out and Pip looks at me with tears in her eyes.
“Nothing Rosie, I’m just tired that’s all!”
“Bull shit Pip! You seem to forget that I know you better than you do. I don’t know what I have done to upset you so much but I miss you, and I hate you not coming to me with whatever it is that I have done. We’re always honest with each other. We said we always would be!”
Pippa shakes her head and looks at me with conflict visible in her eyes, she wants to open up to me but something is clearly holding her back, “Is it Ben? Has he hurt you Pip? Please tell me!”
“God no Rosie, he’s amazing. I just…I can’t,”
I take Pippa’s hands in mine and look up into her sad eyes,
“Pip, anything. You can tell me anything, please,”
She takes a deep shaky breath and steps backward, pulling her hands from mine.
“Ok, but promise me you won’t hate me, please Rosie. Promise me”
“PIP!”
“I’m pregnant!”
It takes a few seconds for what she has said to sink in and when it does I still can’t speak, Pippa is pregnant! I turn to face the street below and I can feel Pip’s anxiety as she steps towards me and starts to speak again.
“I didn’t know how to tell you Rosie, I…”
“So this is why you weren’t drinking?” My brain is on overdrive trying to figure out what signs I might have missed, “No, not at first, it really was a bet. I found out just before my party and I freaked out a bit. All I could think of was what you had been through and I was scared. Then you showed up with Jackson and it threw me, I don’t know what I was thinking Ro, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was still getting my head around it all,”
“We’re supposed to be best friends Pippa!” I look at her and noticing the tears welling in her eyes, look away again, “How far gone are you?”
“Twelve weeks, I had a scan yesterday. Rosie, I was going to tell you but then when you came around to my flat that day, I had been throwing up for what felt like days and I tried to feel better and pluck up the courage to tell you and then you told me that you can’t stand being around pregnant women and it just freaked me out. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do around you after that Rosie. You’re the one person that I want close to me and you don’t want to be around pregnancy, what do I do?”
“Nothing Pip. Just look after yourself.” I open the door and head into the flat, Jackson throws me a concerned look as Ben rushes to take my place on the balcony and I make my way into the bedroom.
I sit down on the floor with my back against the door. I’m shocked. So much has changed for Pippa and me in such a short space of time. She’s pregnant, I should be enjoying this with her, laughing at her morning sickness and telling her what she can and can’t eat, but instead I feel angry. I’m angry with her, she should have told me. But mostly I’m angry with myself, she’s my best friend and I should be able to put aside my emotions to be there for her, but I can’t. All I feel is hurt, and a little jealous. I’m actually jealous of my best friend instead of just being happy for her.
She’s had a scan and it’s all going well, she’s going to have a baby and I’m still not sure that I ever will. I don’t want to feel like this, but right now, with alcohol flooding my veins and my emotions at an all-time high, I can’t help it. Tears pool in my lower lids before escaping, I feel like a terrible friend. I cry as I listen to the noise from the other room gradually fade out and I know that the party is over. I stand and gather myself hoping that Pippa isn’t on the other side of my bedroom door when I open it, she isn’t.
Marrying Mr Write Page 12