“Joseph,” she scolded. “Don’t do that to me.”
“Do what?”
“Change the subject. That’s what men do when they don’t want to talk about something uncomfortable.”
He grinned. “Did Isaiah switch subjects on you?”
“Yah, he did. He complimented me on my cake.”
Joseph laughed. “When an Amish man compliments a woman on her cooking, you have nothing to worry about.”
Quick tears sprang to her eyes. “Do you really think so?”
“I know so. I think deep down in his heart, Isaiah wants something different with you than what he had with Mandy. I’m sure their love was wunderbah, as was your love for Lonnie, but surely Isaiah knows that no two women are the same.”
“Like two flowers that smell differently?”
His grin grew. “We don’t have to speak that plainly, I suppose, but yah—that’s what I mean.”
“But what if you’re wrong about him?”
“If I am, you can blame me. Isaiah should understand that.”
“No. He’ll just wonder why I listen to you.”
“I don’t know what to say about that, Esther. I guess I’ve gotten you into enough trouble already.” He glanced down the greenhouse aisle and whispered, “Here comes Arlene.”
“Are you really having her cook supper for you tonight?” Esther whispered back.
He nodded.
“What are you two whispering about?” Arlene asked as she approached.
Esther gave her a bright smile. “I was just asking Joseph if you’re cooking supper for him tonight.”
Arlene glowed. “Yah, I am. Joseph needs to put on some weight, and Ben’s practically falling out of his pants. I think I need to come over twice a week, maybe on Friday nights too, though this Friday is Isaiah’s barn raising, I suppose supper will be served there for the workers who can stay past their chore time.”
Joseph cleared his throat loudly.
Arlene ignored him. “But the following week should work perfectly. I’ll have these two fattened up and looking fit in a month or so. Shoofly pie is on the dessert menu tonight. When is the last time you had shoofly pie, Joseph?”
Joseph grunted. “Not in a while.”
“Did Silvia ever bake shoofly pie for you?” Arlene asked.
“No, I don’t think so.” Joseph cleared his throat again.
“See!” Arlene proclaimed. “That’s exactly what you need. Yah, I’ll fatten you up quickly!”
“When do you plan to do all this cooking? I need help in the greenhouse, especially on Fridays.”
“You never have to worry about that,” Arlene retorted. “I will stay up late and awaken early if it’s necessary to make you happy and improve your health. You just wait and see. Maybe this is why you talk to flowers so much. You’re undernourished.”
Esther hid her smile while Joseph struggled to keep a straight face. “I appreciate your efforts, Arlene. I’m sure supper will be exactly what I need, but I will continue talking to my roses. It helps them grow better and thus sell better.”
She sighed. “I guess everyone is entitled to a few strange ways. But please don’t talk to them when others from the community are around.” Arlene glanced at Esther. “You won’t be telling, will you?”
“My lips are sealed,” Esther promised, busying herself with the weeds in front of her.
“Thank you, Esther. I appreciate that.” Arlene turned to Joseph. “I just want a normal life, like Esther and Isaiah’s. They’re such a shining example for us, Joseph. Can’t you see that?”
“We’re not doing everything quite like them,” he protested. “Having you cook supper for me the way Esther does for Isaiah is enough for now.”
Arlene sighed again. “I guess a woman can’t have everything she wants, so I’ll be thankful for what I do have. Now I’d best get busy if I plan to serve supper on time tonight.”
Joseph gave her a warm smile. “I think that would be a goot idea.”
Arlene blushed and scurried off.
“I’m sorry I won’t see Diana today,” he said as soon as Arlene was out of earshot. “I had hoped to see her this morning.”
Esther stood. “I can go get her and bring her here.”
“No, no. It might send a confusing signal to Diana if you’ve told her to stay away from me.”
“I didn’t do that, Joseph,” she protested.
“I’d understand if you did.”
Esther gave him a warm smile. “Why don’t I check on her at Dorrine’s, and if things are going the way I think they are, Diana will be thrilled to come over. If not, we’ll leave well enough alone.”
“I hope I haven’t made trouble for you, Esther.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “That’s the last thing I wish.”
“What about me making trouble for you with that supper deal?” she teased.
He laughed. “Well, when you look at it that way, I suppose we’re even.”
She turned serious. “Are you sure about your arrangement with Arlene, Joseph? Is this what you really want?”
“I’m as sure as I am about most things these days, which isn’t very sure. But I do want this relationship with her to work out. I’m thinking the woman might be goot for me, and I know it’s different from where you’re headed with Isaiah, but that’s okay.”
“So you know that I am changing? What if we’re both messing up?”
“That’s the danger, and the thrill, of love.” He grinned.
“I think I would have preferred things to stay as they were,” she muttered. “Life with Lonnie and Diana was so right. So very right.”
Tears sprang to Joseph’s eyes. “You’ll get no argument from me there. Life was perfect with Silvia and Ben…but the Lord had other plans for us.”
“Oh, Joseph. I’m so sorry.”
“You loved too.”
“Yah, I did.” She turned to hurry outside and hide her tears. Why the emotion now? She had cried plenty at Lonnie’s funeral, but not with such sting.
Esther paused to turn her face into the breeze that moved up from the valley floor. The tinge of redness in her eyes would be gone by the time she walked across the road. Dorrine didn’t need to know about her conversation with Joseph or about the strange emotions stirring inside of her.
Esther glanced each way before she crossed Fords Bush Road. Dorrine peeked out the front door as she approached and called out, “Diana’s in here. I was about ready to come and get you. She won’t stop asking if she can go over and build playhouses with Joseph’s boxes.”
Esther forced a smile. “So much for my idea, I guess.”
“Joseph didn’t complain about Diana bothering him, did he? Because if he did, I’m chewing him out goot.”
“You know he didn’t. This was all my idea, which obviously isn’t working.”
Dorrine smiled. “There’s no harm in trying, and I do know it’s easier to pull weeds without keeping an eye on a young child.”
As if on cue, Diana came running into the room and gave her mamm a quick hug.
“I want to see Joseph, Mamm,” Diana begged. “I want to build a playhouse right now at his place!”
“Just wait a moment,” Esther told her as Diana hopped around on one foot. “I have to tell Dorrine something.”
As Diana skipped her way down the sidewalk, Esther turned to Dorrine. “Arlene’s so excited about her supper tonight.”
Dorrine’s face lit up. “Yah, she is. You’ve been a goot influence for those two. I don’t know how we made it before you moved to the valley.”
“I’m sure you got along quite well,” Esther assured Dorrine, and they laughed.
“Let’s go, Mamm,” Diana called from the sidewalk.
“I’ll be seeing you then.” Esther walked over to take Diana’s hand. As they crossed the road again, Esther looked back to see Dorrine waving to them from the front porch with a big smile on her face.
SIXTEEN
Esther pulled back on
Biscuit’s reins before she turned into Isaiah’s driveway on Paris Road. She pulled the buggy to a stop beside the barn. It was the Friday morning of Isaiah’s barn raising, but she hadn’t wanted to arrive too early. After that embarrassing statement to him last Friday evening, she still hesitated to meet him again. Joseph’s words had comforted her, but what if he was wrong? The thought had kept her awake with worry for more than an hour last night. Now the moment of truth had arrived. She would speak with Isaiah today one way or another. She had to.
Esther hopped down from the buggy and then helped Diana. The distant beat of horses’ hooves hung over the valley as more buggies arrived, so she had timed her arrival well. Bishop Willis and his frau, Beth, were already here, and Isaiah’s place would soon be bustling with activity.
As Esther undid the tugs on Biscuit’s harness, she asked Diana, “Why don’t you go find Beth and let her know we’re here?”
Diana nodded and ran toward the house. Esther waited until Beth opened the front door to greet Diana with a hug. The community had been so kind to them since their move. Beth made a point of speaking with Diana at all the Sunday services. What if Beth knew that she wasn’t satisfied with Isaiah and their relationship? How embarrassing that would be.
Joseph’s roses and his comforting words seemed far away on a morning like this. Maybe she shouldn’t blame herself entirely. Part of the pain in her heart came from her sorrow over Lonnie’s loss. But why had that reappeared? She had mourned Lonnie a long time ago and thought she had moved on. Obviouly she had been mistaken. There were tears of sorrow yet to cry.
Esther ducked behind Biscuit to wipe her face. She didn’t want to lose Isaiah. What a tragedy that would be, one for which she would never forgive herself. Isaiah was coming out of the barn to greet her at this very moment.
Esther freed Biscuit from the buggy and called out to Isaiah, “Goot morning.”
He smiled in return. “It’s goot to see you, Esther. You’re nice and early.”
“I wanted to come early enough to say hello before all the work began.”
“That was wise of you. I suppose you know I won’t be coming to your place for supper tonight. I’ll have plenty to do here.”
“Yah, that’s what I thought. But I can stay and help with supper if you like.”
“I would love that. And there will always be Friday evening next week.” He put his hand on Biscuit’s bridle. “I told Beth you and she should be in charge of the cooks today. I didn’t have a chance to ask you if that’s okay, but I figured you wouldn’t object.”
“Of course that’s okay! It’s a great honor.”
He grinned. “I know you can cook, so the honor will be mine.” He turned and led Biscuit to the barn.
She wanted to run after him and kiss him on the cheek, but that wouldn’t be decent. She hadn’t even hugged the man yet, and she knew they didn’t need kisses to cement their relationship…but Esther stopped short. In her heart, she did want to kiss Isaiah quite badly. Had her feelings come from all the fancy thoughts she had entertained these past weeks about roses and Silvia’s great love for Joseph?
Esther pinched herself. What exactly did she want? She had known what she wanted when she arrived in the community, and she still knew…but something had changed. The question the other evening had been real: What would she feel if she fell in love with Isaiah? Would Isaiah be the same? Would she be the same? Joseph was right. She was different from Mandy, just as Isaiah was different from Lonnie. She had been blind to that truth until she heard about Silvia and Joseph’s roses. What would happen if a man brought a rose to life because of his great love for her?
Esther hurried toward the house as more buggies came up the driveway. She was sure several of them had seen her standing frozen in the driveway, staring after Isaiah’s disappearing back. They probably figured she was love stricken, which was understandable. Most young women would find the handsome minister quite attractive.
Inside, she found Beth bending over the kitchen sink with Diana perched beside her.
“And he had miles and miles of roses again on Saturday,” Diana was saying. “They were so beautiful, and he sells them and makes lots of money, and I got to build dollhouses at his place this week while Mamm worked on her garden, but first I had to stay at Dorrine’s place, which wasn’t nearly as fun as Joseph’s greenhouse. That’s the best place of all with…” Diana paused to catch her breath.
“Goot morning,” Beth greeted Esther. “You’re bright and early.”
“You can say the same for yourself.”
“Diana was just filling me in on the latest.”
“Mostly about Joseph, I believe,” Esther said, smiling at her daughter.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here. There will be so much to do today. I’m sure you’ve been on hand during the week to help Isaiah prepare for the barn raising today.”
“Actually, we haven’t,” Esther admitted. “And now that you mention it, I feel a bit embarrassed. Isaiah never said a word about helping to prepare, but that should have occurred to me. How could I have been so thoughtless?”
Beth smiled. “Don’t berate yourself. Isaiah should have said something. We’ll blame this on him.”
“No, it’s not his fault.”
“Your loyal heart does you goot,” Beth replied, comforting Esther with a pat on the shoulder.
Esther changed the subject. “Isaiah said you and I are in charge of the cooking.”
“Yah—” Beth was interrupted when a flood of women came into the kitchen carrying cold dishes and food for the meals to come. Greetings were exchanged, and within minutes the kitchen was bustling with activity. Esther joined in with minimal fuss, and the time passed quickly. Two hours later—but in what seemed like only minutes—one of the women called from the kitchen window, “The first wall is going up already!”
“This serves as break time,” Beth hollered, and everyone went out to the front porch to watch.
Several of the men waved their hats toward the house, producing a loud bellow from the foreman in charge. “Keep your attention focused, boys! You can wave to your sweethearts at lunchtime.”
The young men hooted and waved their hats even more as the wall crept skyward.
“What if that thing should fall back down?” one of the unmarried girls asked.
“The men know what they’re doing,” Beth told her. “Now let’s get back to work. We have to make sure the meal is ready in time.”
Esther’s conscience stirred. She had entertained romantic thoughts these past weeks like a silly teenager. This was exactly why she had always been determined to stay above this kind of foolishness. She had married one of the best men in the community, Lonnie Stoltzfus, who had been ordained to the ministry. It was an honor few of the men were given, and she had planned to repeat the feat…only she hadn’t counted on getting to know Joseph Zook.
Joseph would be out there somewhere. The man would do what he could on a day like this, though he was limited in his abilities. This was no cause for shame, and she didn’t blame Joseph for her emotional mess. She was no better than Diana in a way, or the young unmarried women who had waited breathlessly as the wall was raised—afraid that love would be snatched from their hands by a freak accident.
Esther returned to the kitchen with several of the women, and was busy preparing sandwiches when she heard Arlene’s voice rise clearly above the group. “I tested this potato recipe on Joseph and Ben on Tuesday evening. It’s my own version of a casserole and mashed potato combination. Joseph was so impressed that he was almost speechless, and poor Ben had a second helping. He’s so neglected. I can’t believe that Joseph has left his home without a mamm for so long. On the other hand, I’m thankful.” Arlene glowed as she whipped the potatoes in her bowl to a white frenzy.
“I didn’t know you and Joseph were dating,” someone ventured.
“We’re doing it the practical way,” Arlene proclaimed with a flourish of her spoon. “Just like Esther and Mi
nister Isaiah. I’ve tried for a long time to get through to Joseph and show him how much his life could be improved with a frau in the house, but I couldn’t get anywhere. It seemed as if every time we talked we just went in circles. Then a miracle happened the other week, as it does when the Lord is in things. Joseph found the answer in Esther’s example, and now I’m coming twice a week to cook for him, which shows him how much of a blessing I can be in his life.”
Several of the young married women exchanged amused glances, and Esther wished the floor would open up and swallow her. She hadn’t bargained for this. The way Arlene described her Friday night suppers with Isaiah held no romantic charm at all. But what did she expect? She hadn’t aimed for romance, only practicality—so why did the shame burn so deep?
Did she expect Isaiah to arrive at the house with roses in hand? Esther slowly measured out the ingredients for a cake. Something had clearly happened to her since they had arrived in the valley.
But what? Did she really want to fall head over heels in love?
SEVENTEEN
Isaiah pushed his hat back on his forehead as the last exterior wall of the barn was nailed into place. Men were swarming, and the noise of the hammering was deafening. The trusses had been laid out this morning by Deacon Daniel, who had once worked in a truss factory back in Lancaster County. They were all nailed together and ready to lift into place. When people with various talents came together in commitment and love toward their community, an immense amount of work could be accomplished in a very short period of time. This was not unlike the barn raisings of Isaiah’s youth, which he had so loved. There were fewer people, but the will to work remained—along with the pleasure of a day spent in one another’s company.
“Liking what you’re seeing?” the deacon shouted in Isaiah’s ear.
“Yep, no complaints. And everyone’s being careful, I see.”
Daniel nodded. “I gave them a lecture before we started. Job safety is always a priority.”
“Yah, it is.”
“Can we step away from this noise for a moment?” Daniel asked. “You need a break anyway.”
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