by Jae Hood
“You don’t deserve Rue’s love. But for some reason, she continues giving it to you freely. You’re a horrible, pathetic excuse for a mother. One day it’ll be too late. Neither she nor Lucy will wait on you forever. Come on, Rue. Let’s get out of here. I’ve changed my mind. The scenery around here blows.”
Tanner placed his hands on my waist, giving my mother one last glare as he started to guide me away, but I was rooted in place. There was no way I was leaving that park, or Birmingham for that matter, without telling her goodbye in the only way I could see fit.
“Tanner’s wrong,” I said. “It’s already too late. You are no longer my mother. You’re Christine Monroe, someone I’d rather not know. I’m finished with you. When I turn around and walk away, I’m walking away for good. Don’t call me, don’t come home, and don’t send word through Lucy or anyone else. In fact, just pretend like Lucy and I don’t even exist. That should come easy to you. You’ve been doing it for nearly nineteen years now.”
Hurt and sadness flashed across her face, but it was brief. It was replaced with a cool indifference. My mother pursed her lips and nodded, agreeing to forget about the two daughters who wanted nothing but her love, comfort, and understanding through the years. She was letting me walk away without another word. I gave her one last look, allowed Tanner to wrap his strong arms around me, and promised myself I’d never allow Christine Monroe to hurt me again.
*
My sister was in the adjoining hotel room, curled up in Chance’s embrace. She hadn’t witnessed my mother spending time with her new family, but I couldn’t keep it a secret from her. When I told her about Dan and the two children I assumed were his, her face crumbled slightly. As I repeated our mother’s angry words, she completely broke down. Luckily, Chance was there by her side.
I stood by the window of our hotel room, tugging on a strand of hair and staring down at the busy downtown traffic. I’d told myself I wouldn’t cry over my mother’s indifference toward me, but my heart revolted against the stubborn voice inside my head. A tear worked its way from the corner of my eye, trailing down my cheek, and leaving a salty wetness in the corner of my mouth.
Tanner’s arms worked their way around me. “I’m here for you. Please don’t cry. One day, this will all be over. Amos, Davis … your mother. It’ll be over. When that day comes, I’m leaving Birchwood, and I’m taking you with me.”
“We’ll have a shiny new life,” I whispered.
Tanner led me into bed, his breathing evening out as he fell asleep. I rolled over and stared at him for a long time, running my fingers through his slick strands, pressing my thumbs against his firm, scruffy jaw. Loving him.
My sister’s broken face flashed through my mind, but I shoved it aside. Hell, I’d take her with me if I had to. When it was all said and done, I would leave Mayhaw. I’d go with Tanner to college. I’d go with him to the moon if he asked me to. I was ready for it all to end.
Chapter 18
July 12th, 1962
Dear Diary,
I’m in love. I’m in love with a man who doesn’t love me. He loves another woman, a woman named Lois. He loves her so much that he’s already married to her.
That’s not the worst of it, Diary. The worst part of it all is that I gave him something I was to save for my wedding night. He took it from me happily, and without hesitation. My cycle was to start two weeks ago, but it has yet to make an appearance. I fear I’m with child, and I’m scared.
I’m scared to tell him, because I know he won’t care. Peter lied to me. He lied by omission. He didn’t tell me he was married, and I know it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. I’ve been raised better than this. I was raised better than to give myself to a man before our wedding night. He told me he loved me. He told me he’d make me his. I hate what he’s done, I hate that he lied, but most of all I hate that, through it all, I still love him.
I shut Nana’s diary, threw it near the foot of my bed, and sighed. Burying my face in my fluffy down pillow, I struggled to rest, but it was impossible. The moon was bright that night. White light poured in through the large glass doors leading to my balcony. I could have dragged myself out of bed and pulled the long, floor-to-ceiling blinds shut, blocking the light, but I was too frustrated, too morose to leave the bed. I knew sleep would evade me the rest of the night. Reading Nana’s diary was entirely depressing.
My mind was flooded with visions of a young Nana living with the secret burden of being with child out of wedlock. In my mind, I saw her spending her days picking cotton and working in the garden, pregnant with the child of a married man whom she undoubtedly loved.
My nights were half spent reading of my grandmother’s horrible indiscretions. The other half of the night, I obsessed over my mother’s indifference to me. She was no longer “Mama” to me. She was Christine, a worthless excuse of a mother who abandoned Lucy and me for a man and two children who were not her own.
Christine admitted she’d only married my father because she was pregnant with me. Nana obviously did the same thing to my grandfather. She used him to cover her pregnancy with Peter Montgomery.
I couldn’t help but compare myself somewhat with Amos, although the thought was completely ridiculous. My mind reeled, wondering how he dealt with spending his life knowing he was the bastard child of a man who probably felt nothing for him. Was I that different from him in that regard?
The night seemed to pass by in slow motion, tormenting me as I tossed and turned in frustration, longing for a good night’s sleep. Before I knew it, bright sunlight streamed through the window, burning my skin with its heat. I climbed out of bed, grumbling and tired.
After a long, hot shower, I dressed for work. My mind was fighting to process the fact that school would be starting in about another month. I snorted at the thought. The past summer I had fallen in love, gotten accosted by a cop, witnessed my boyfriend murder said cop, helped dispose of his body, and literally unearthed various family secrets involving the Montgomerys, Nana, and the death of my father.
Senior year should be a piece of cake compared to summer break.
Tanner texted me just as I finished shoving a greasy piece of bacon in my mouth.
Davis is on his way home from Texas. He should be back any day now. Graham called the family in. Should be an interesting few days. Are you leaving for work?
Davis had left on a drug run to Texas a few days earlier. He remained in the dark about his brother’s revelation of his participation in my father’s murder. “The family” referred to Tanner’s relatives who were spread throughout the states, the majority of them residing in the South.
Old habits died hard, I guessed, because the thought of more Montgomerys in the area terrified me. I was worried they wouldn’t respond to Tanner, Chance, and Bryce’s relationships to a bunch of Monroe girls as kindly as Graham and Melissa had. I also compared Tanner’s faceless, nameless relatives to Graham, for some reason.
Graham was a strange bird. He was always completely cool, calm, and collected, but there was something there lingering below the surface—an evilness about him. Graham seemed the type of person who you wouldn’t want to piss off. He’d probably puff on his cigar and shoot you in the face without batting an eye. There was not a doubt in my mind Davis would pay for his sins once he returned home from Texas.
Yeah, I just finished eating breakfast. OMW to the cake shop now.
I’d like to have some Rue for breakfast ;)
I snorted at his text and shook my head with a small grin. Pervy Tanner was out to play early this morning.
I’d like some Tanner for breakfast. Every day. Maybe for dessert tonight? We have to be careful. I’m so tired of sneaking around.
Are you tired of me already?
No, of course not. I just want us to be together, without having to hide. Can’t wait for that day.
It’s coming. I promise. I love you.
*
Josie filled an icing bag full of
bright pink icing, licking her lips as she placed the tip near the bottom edge of the cake sitting on a stand in front of her. The table shook a little under the weight of my elbows when I leaned on it beside her, earning me a glare.
“How’s Bryce?” I asked.
“He’s been pretty quiet the past few days. I think he’s accepted his father’s fate, somewhat. It’s an expected outcome of traitors in their family.”
I nodded, leaving her in the back room to enter the front of the cake shop. I wasn’t convinced Bryce was okay with Davis’ fate. Davis was, after all, his father.
Lucy sat at the register counting up a stack of bills. Brodie stood nearby shooting me a jovial grin. He’d dropped in begging for some sweets.
Brodie leaned on the counter, facing Lucy at the register. “There’s a bonfire in Oak Bluff tonight. The last party before school starts back. Y’all wanna go?”
“It’s a hundred degrees outside,” Josie hollered from the back room. “Whose idea was it to have a bonfire during summer?”
“Dude. It’s a fire,” Brodie hollered back, shoving a cookie in his mouth. “It’s an excuse to get drunk and burn stuff. But if y’all want to bitch and moan, I’ll figure something else out that we can do.”
I snickered at my cousins and placed a tray of pecan-encrusted butter cookies in the display case, which brimmed with colorful confections. I snuck a red velvet cookie from inside and took a bite, moaning in pleasure.
“The last time we went to a party in Oak Bluff, I very nearly made out with a potted plant,” Lucy said.
The cookie froze near my lips. My sister had barely spoken two words since our return from Birmingham. She’d also walked around looking like a zombie, not caring much about her appearance or overall personal hygiene.
She looked different today though. Her long hair was clean, no longer hanging in a greasy mess. It was curled into thick waves. The paleness of her skin held a little more warmth to it. There was even a pretty smile on her face, although small and slightly forced.
Brodie laughed, pushing himself off the counter and sauntering around the display case to snatch another cookie. “I’m sorry I missed that. We should do something though. I miss bonding with my bitches.”
Closing the case, I pondered his suggestion. The idea of including Brodie in our alliance with the Montgomerys played in my mind on a routine basis. How to approach the subject with him was the only thing that had held me back. How would he react to the news of Davis Montgomery having murdered his favorite uncle and the evidence that Amos was involved as well?
I’d already told Josie and Lucy we couldn’t count Peyton or Olivia in on our plans. Peyton was working for Amos, slinging drugs for him, and Olivia was too engrossed in staying high all the time.
Brodie, although a little odd with his zombie apocalypse fascination and overall goofy personality, was the most stable of the three of them. Maybe a little drinking, smoking, and bonding were all we needed to loosen up and confess the things we’d found to Brodie.
I wiped cookie crumbs from my fingers on a Wet-Nap. “I’m down for just about any kind of plan, Bro. Besides, there’re some things Josie, Lucy, and I need to tell you.”
Josie heard my comment and wandered from the back room. Her thin, arched eyebrows shot up across her forehead. Lucy shifted nearby, her body tensing, her skin turning as white as a sheet.
The bell over the door clanged as an older man walked in. His skin was deeply tanned with fine lines and wrinkles creeping along like spindling spider legs. A dark cowboy hat sat low on his head, partially covering his face. Bushy brown hair poked out, coarse and thick, ending below his shoulders.
A long, thick scar marred his face from below his right eye to his ear, puckering the skin along the way and reminding me of Chance and Shelby. His cheek was puffed out, bulging from holding a large plug of chaw. He wore a smart, dark police uniform and his gold badge flashed below the overhead shop lights. There was a stack of bright yellow fliers clutched between his thick fingers.
“Hey, Buck,” Brodie said. “Any word from Levi?”
“Not yet,” Buck said. “That’s why I’m here. I’d like to drop off some fliers and hang one in the shop window, if y’all don’t mind.”
Josie snapped from her trance and shot him a blinding smile. “I’m sure Nana wouldn’t mind. Y’all are practically family.”
Josie rounded the display case and pulled a flier from his fingers, giving him a soft, almost flirtatious smile. She gazed up at his tall frame with big, innocent eyes. She then yanked a piece of tape from a nearby dispenser, making a sickening ripping sound, and proceeded to the window. Her long fingers pressed the flier against the glass.
“Unfortunately, this isn’t just a social visit,” Buck said. “I also came to ask you kids some questions.”
Levi’s face grinned up from the papers. A stab of pain and a flash of a memory cut through me. I swallowed the knot of guilt in my throat. Levi was still a regular visitor in my dreams, in the few hours of rest I did manage to receive some nights.
Lucy fidgeted on her stool. She hid her hands underneath the counter, wringing her fingers together. She cast Buck an innocent smile. Josie rejoined us, plopping on one elbow beside the sheriff and giving him a curious expression.
“Shoot.” Josie grinned and winked, making a shooting motion with her index finger, causing me to wince.
Apprehension crept over my skin, raising the hairs on the back of my neck and sending chills down my spine. Fumbling around near the top of the display case, I straightening the lollipop tree and the display of birthday candles in an effort to hide my face behind the colorful wax numbers. The slow, quiet breaths I inhaled and exhaled did nothing to ease my rapidly pounding heart.
Buck shifted on his feet. “Levi’s cruiser was found not a block away from here the night he disappeared. The mayor mentioned ordering a cake that night. He told me Rue delivered the cake, meaning she was in the area around the same time as my son. I’d like to know if you saw anything that night, Rue.”
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t see anything.”
“Are you certain about that? You didn’t see anything? Maybe a seventies-model black Shelby Mustang somewhere in the area?”
Brodie stiffened beside me. Tanner was the only person in three counties who owned a vehicle to fit Buck’s description.
“Like I said, I didn’t see anything.” I shrugged and frowned at Buck, ignoring Brodie’s probing stare. “Nana called me in to decorate the cake. I decorated it and delivered it to the mayor and his wife. I didn’t see anyone else in town that night.”
“Do you have anyone who can attest to that?” Buck asked in an accusatory tone.
“I can,” an unexpected voice said, and I forced myself to not look at Brodie in shock. Brodie gave Buck a huge smile. “Rue thought the cake would be heavier than it was. I stopped by to help her, but she already had it loaded.”
“Lucy and I were here, as well,” Josie said. “Rue sucks under pressure. You don’t really think she loaded that big cake alone, do you? Jelly Arms, that’s what we call her. Anyway, I helped her finish the cake and then left. Lucy drove me here. I’d snuck some of Daddy’s moonshine earlier that day and didn’t feel safe enough to drive. You know how stout that stuff is.”
“Is that right?” Buck asked in an unconvinced voice.
“That’s right,” Josie replied. “I sure hope he turns up. There’s something special about Levi. I don’t know what it is … I can’t seem to put my finger on it. Isn’t that right, Rue?”
“That’s right.” Lucy spoke up as I stared at my grinning cousin in pure mortification. “I’m sure you’ll find evidence pointing to Levi’s whereabouts pretty soon.”
“He’s such a great cop,” another unexpected voice interjected. Nana emerged from the back room. “So hands on with everything.”
Lucy, Josie, and I stared at our grandmother in shock. Buck and Brodie looked confused. Nana’s face was a mask of seriou
sness as she continued.
“We all hope you hear from Levi soon,” she said. “My grandchildren told you they saw nothing that night. I can verify Josie, Brodie, and Lucy were with Rue at the shop. I couldn’t get ahold of Josie at home, so I called her cell. She came in and helped Rue finish the cake on time. You should be ashamed, coming in here and questioning my family. We’ve known you our entire lives. There’s never been any bad blood between us.”
Buck appeared thoroughly abashed, dipping his head. He tipped his hat, mumbled an apology, and disappeared outside. Josie, Lucy, and I let out one collective sigh at his departure.
Nana untied an apron from around her waist. “I’m heading home for the day. I’ve got one last thing to tell you young ladies. The freezer is to be used for storing food. It’s not there for your own personal items.”
With that, she left, vanishing to the back of the shop. The back door slammed and her car fired up. I stared at Josie, glaring as she grinned sheepishly back.
I groaned, palming my face. “Really, Josie? Nana’s freezer?”
“What’s going on?” Brodie said. “Why did I feel the need to defend you? And what was in the freezer?”
Josie giggled an evil, malicious laugh. She leaned her thin body over the counter, tears streaming down her face. I shook my head in disgust at her next two words.
“Finger food,” she blurted, cackling hysterically.
*
“So what are we doing tonight?” I asked later on when we met back up in front of the now-closed cake shop.
“Nothing until y’all tell me what’s going on with Buck,” Brodie said.
“In due time, my friend. In due time.” Josie patted his head, giggling as he swiped her hand away.
“So … no party in Oak Bluff?” Lucy asked, her voice full of hope.
We all frowned at her. Lucy’s shoulders sagged in disappointment.
Brodie pursed his lips in thought. “Feel like muddin’?” he asked, face pleading, bottom lip poked out like a child’s. “There’s this place Peyton told me about … I’ve never been, but he says it’s the perfect spot to mud.”