by Jae Hood
Nana gave me a smirk then reached below the desk. A light popping sound filled the air and the drawer gave way, opening with the slightest movement of Nana’s hand.
“Tanner’s grandfather purchased this home with the intention of it being our, well, you get the picture. That man was as stubborn as an old mule. I turned him down time after time once I found out he was married, but he was relentless in his pursuit of me. God rest his soul.” She smiled, removing stack after stack of files from the drawer. “As terrible of a man as he was, he wasn’t completely irredeemable. He gave me this house that no one knew existed.”
She removed one last file before closing the drawer with a resounding click. “Over the years, I’ve spent some time here. At one time, I tried to make this old house a home. Thought about selling it, but never could bring myself to do it. I’ve walked the halls, wandered through the rooms. I spent years dreaming of a life that never existed, a life he and I could have built together.”
She sighed, removing her glasses. I handed her a tissue, allowing her to wipe her eyes and replace the spectacles uninterrupted. “Foolish dreams fabricated in the mind of a foolish woman. I lived in a fantasy world until one day I didn’t. I quit coming by. I stopped living in the past. I made this house into something besides a home.”
“What did you make it into, Nana?”
She smiled at me, a sad, despondent smile. I stepped back as she pushed the chair from the desk then pulled me into a tight hug.
“He wanted this to be a place to keep secrets,” she whispered in my ear, her fingers pressing into my skin. “And for the first time since he broke my heart, I did what that man wanted. Those files are full of secrets, but not anymore. Do what you want with them. I’m old and tired. I’ve buried two children and two grandchildren. I loved a man I couldn’t have, and made a home with one I didn’t want. I’ve got no fight left in me, but you do, Rue. You do.”
Nana released me then began walking to the door with one hand resting on the small of her back as she limped slightly. It wasn’t until then that I realized how much she’d aged in the past year.
“Nana, what’s in these files?” I asked, even though I had an inkling of the answer.
Nana paused at the doorway, turned, and rested her free hand on the frame. Her face was thoughtful, relaxed, then turned wistful.
“Phone records, photos, any sort of evidence you can imagine to put away the rest of my living children for the duration of their lives,” she said. “A mother knows her children. I knew my boys were up to no good when it came to Jeb. And thanks to Tanner’s grandfather, I know some powerful people. I love all my children, but Jeb, he was my pride and joy. He never raised a hand to anyone. He didn’t deserve to die any more than Tanner’s father did. Jeb deserved more. But the rest of my kids? They can rot in hell.”
With that, she stepped into the hallway, stumbled once, then straightened and never looked back.
***
Acknowledgements
To Ashley, Shika, Ali, Rach, for all your assistance and advice. To the readers who encouraged me to continue writing even when my husband grew jealous of my keyboard, and when my kids begged for my attention, and when life seemed to need me more than the dreamland I created inside my head. And to my family for letting my mind wander and my fingers tap away when I should have been cleaning, cooking, or performing some other menial task that’s not as wonderful as creating another world.
About the Author
Jae Hood is a full-time wife, mother, and geriatric nurse. And sometimes she sleeps. When she’s not spending her time caring for others, you can find her daydreaming, painting her nails, decorating cakes, crocheting, or investing herself in whatever hobby she’s discovered this week on Pinterest. Jae lives in a small, rural town in northeast Mississippi with her husband, three children, and more pets than she can afford. Jae fell in love with books as a child when her mother entrusted Judy Blume to explain life’s woes, and she fell in love with writing during an English assignment in junior high. Dirty South Drug Wars is Jae’s debut novel.