Shades of Darkness (Trials of Fear Book 2)

by Nicky James

  I nodded, unable to say more. Every second that ticked by only made my heart swell. The overflowing sensations were overwhelming and scary, but I was no longer going to run from them.

  If I hurt Adrian, I’d never forgive myself. And I meant more than physically. He was giving me his heart, his trust, everything, and I promised myself at that moment I would never let him down.

  Refocusing on his straining erection, I glided my nose along the side of his shaft before mouthing the tip, poking a tongue at his slit, and lavishing the small offering already leaking from him. His sweet, salty taste sent a ripple of need through me, and I closed my mouth around him, giving a soft suck to the crown, making him whimper and lift his hips for more.

  As I toyed with his tip, licking and sucking all around, I jerked him, building his pleasure to new levels. Another few swirls and I took him down my throat before sucking my way back up. He thrust into my mouth in greed. Fueled by his moans, I worked a steady rhythm as he squirmed and bucked off the bed.

  When I got him to the point that his muscles became rigid, and his breathing labored and broken, I pulled off and retrieved the lube and a condom from the bedside table. I’d fingered him plenty, and he was so responsive. I knew once I was inside and he was comfortable, it would be nothing but pleasure for him.

  As I continued with lazy sucking, denying him the orgasm his body craved, I coated a few fingers and worked them in one at a time. Every gentle glide over his prostate had him arching off the bed and cursing my name.

  “Please,” he begged. “Please, Rory.”

  I took my time, but when he hovered on that edge again, I knew if I didn’t stop, he’d come, and there would be no stopping him.

  I left his dick unsatisfied and climbed his body, joining our mouths in a messy kiss of lips and tongues, savoring him and touching him. We rutted together, the glide slick with saliva and pre-cum. It was enough to make my balls pull tight, threatening my own imminent orgasm.

  I broke our kiss and stared deep into his eyes. So many things were on the tip of my tongue wanting out. The look on his face took my breath away, and my heart surged with an emotion I’d never known in my life. Instead of pouring my heart out, I remained silent as I felt around for the lost condom. When I found it, I sat back and sheathed my length, adding a good coating of lube and working it over my dick.

  Adrian drew his lower lip between teeth as he watched. His nerves were on the surface, but they were at war with his determination and eagerness.

  “Hold your knees back,” I encouraged, smoothing a hand over his thigh.

  He complied, never taking his eyes off me. I fit a pillow under his ass to help elevate him more and make things easier.

  The drum in my chest wouldn’t cease. It stole my breath and made my head swim. I leaned over Adrian, balancing on one arm beside his head while I lined up. The explosion of feelings and emotions was almost debilitating. It was like my body knew what we were about to share was a whole other level of intimate. It was something new to us both.

  With my forehead rested against his, I whispered, “Bear down, it will make it easier. I can’t promise it won’t hurt, but I’ll go slow.”

  His only response was to nod and squeeze his eyes closed. With a small amount of pressure, I tried to enter him, but he was so tight and resistant. When he sucked air between his teeth and winced, I stopped.

  “Relax,” I said, pushing his hair back from his face. “You’re letting your nerves take over. You can do this.”

  He blew out a breath and hitched his legs higher. “I’m okay. Keep going.”

  The second time I pressed against him, I managed to get further. Another inch until my tip was buried and the burn in his sphincter radiated over his face.

  “Oww… Fuck!”

  “Bear down,” I reminded him.

  When I felt him comply, I kept going. Another inch; another gasp. I was halfway in, and the grip he held on my dick was unbearably tight. I swallowed hard, working to refocus myself and simmer the mounting pleasure. The last thing I wanted to do was lose control and shove in all the way, hurting him.

  Oh, God, he was tight. And the fucking heat surrounding me. Damn!

  I drew out almost entirely before entering him again, only allowing myself to go so far. Once I’d repeated the action a few more times, I slid deeper, bottoming out and stilling. Adrian held his breath, his face scrunched in discomfort.

  “Breathe,” I whispered against his ear. “Try to relax your muscles. You’re doing amazing.”

  In an attempt at distracting him, I licked the shell of his ear and sucked my way to his collarbone. There, I drew a welt before moving to his mouth and kissing him long and hard. As his body relaxed, I shifted out a little before finding my way home again. Each movement became easier, and when he whimpered and pressed himself against me, I knew the tide had turned.

  Never in my life did I think I would experience sex like that. For once, I wasn’t in a rush to finish, nor did I have the urge to pound him senselessly into the bed. I longed to look into his eyes and pull every fabric of pleasure out of him. I wanted to give him everything, even though I didn’t think I knew how. Gone was the urge for power and control, and all that remained was an equal balance of shared joy and longing.

  Adrian’s body trembled, and the tiny gasps that left his parted lips fueled me. I thrust forward, seeking that special place that made him putty in my hands. When I found it, his body reacted explosively, and his nails dug into my skin as he cried out.

  It was there where I focused all my attention, driving into him as I watched his orgasm swim closer and closer to the surface. A sheen of sweat beaded on his forehead as my own pleasure raced close behind. Another quick jerk of my hips and Adrian reached for his length and stroked frantically.

  “Oh, God. Oh, God. Shit! Rory…”

  His head fell back, exposing his neck as his hand flew, matching my tempo.

  Within a flash, his cries filled the room, and a warm burst of semen coated both our chests. His muscles clamped around me so tight, it pulled my own orgasm right to the surface. Two more thrusts of my hips and I was done for.

  There was something amazing about fucking. The tight grip. The control. The powerful sensations when I climaxed. Since the first time I’d experienced such a thrill, I’d luxuriated in each orgasm brought out by a tight ass. But that day, with Adrian, I learned there was a big difference between fucking someone senseless and making love.

  My emotions were everywhere, and I couldn’t express the reason for the building pressure inside my chest with words alone. It was something I’d never felt before. As I collapsed on top of him and cradled his still trembling body in my arms protectively, a confusing combination of being overwhelmed and yet at peace filled every crevice of my soul. Something shifted inside. It was the weight I’d carried for so long, the one that had become a part of me without me really knowing it. Without its pressure, I was able to see beyond the darkness to a future I never knew existed.

  I saw… hope.

  The moment between us was intense and coming down off the shared high took time. Eventually, I guided Adrian to the bathroom and encouraged him to shower with me. I couldn’t handle any amount of light, yet, so I needed to guide the process since Adrian felt blind.

  I couldn’t see either, I didn’t have super powers or enhanced abilities just because I lived in a dark world, but I did know my bathroom better than he did.

  We fell into bed, exhausted and still stuck in nirvana. Our hands and bodies came together easily, and we kissed and touched until we couldn’t fight sleep anymore.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Adrian

  The only solace there was in having breakfast with my parents was that they dined in places most college student couldn’t afford. There had been no extended invitation for Rory to join us—even though he couldn’t—and it pissed me off that they’d so easily ignored the only positive thing in my life.

  If I didn’t know my mother�
��s nerves were shot, the Bloody Mary she’d ordered with her scrambled eggs would have been a clear indicator. I stuck with toast and dreamed of coffee since I’d only managed a few hours of sleep the night before. My system was so out of whack. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Being awake in the day was a foreign concept anymore.

  I left Rory asleep, wrote him a note telling him I’d be back later, and snuck out to meet my parents downstairs in the lobby. My father’s curled nose told me what he thought of Rory’s apartment complex. I desperately wanted to have a snarky remark but held my tongue.

  We sat around a small circular table in a quaint little restaurant in Dewhurst’s north end. The décor reminded me of a kitchen you might see in a little country farmhouse with its frilly white tablecloths, carved wooden signs hanging on the walls declaring how family was the root of happiness, and the uncountable number of roosters and chickens emblazed on random surfaces. It might have given the appearance of down to earth, but the menu was extensive; more extravagant than a breakfast menu ought to be. And the prices were just plain stupid. Talk about over inflation. It was eggs and toast for crying out loud.

  My father dressed his coffee in silence while I poked the ice in my glass of water with a straw. I’d never been permitted to drink coffee in their presence because apparently, it might hamper my developing brain. If my father thought caffeine would kill brain cells, I wonder what he’d think if he knew I’d taken a huge liking to semen. I stifled a laugh and toyed with my napkin.

  Before my thoughts could wander to Rory and all we’d shared the previous night, I shuffled in my seat and peeked a glance at my parents. The silence was unbearable, but I knew it was one of those times where I was being made to wait for a reason. There was no sense striking up a conversation because I’d just be asked to be quiet because it wasn’t my turn to speak. There was an art to how my father did everything, from brushing his teeth to scolding his son.

  My father cleared his throat once he’d taken his first sample taste of coffee. Judging by the look on his face, it was satisfactory enough for him to finish or else the waitress would have been called over to replace it.

  “In light of my conversation with Roger Wilson, I feel that once you’ve made a proper statement naming the culprits of yesterday’s antics and those students are properly disciplined, I think we will have you transferred to the U of T to complete your degree. Roger has already agreed to have a word with their program administrator and ensure that the transition is smooth and immediate. Come September, everything will be in place as it should have been four years ago.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek as he spoke, knowing better than to interrupt him. My stomach twisted, hearing the inevitable conclusion to yesterday’s drama.

  “I don’t want to transfer schools.”

  “Nonsense. The mockery that was made of our family is unforgivable, and I refuse to allow you to remain here another day.”

  “There was no mockery to this family. It was just me, Dad. Not you. Not Mom. Not anyone else. None of this would have happened if you’d have listened to me earlier.”

  My father’s lips pursed, and before he could inject his opinion, my mother jumped in. “Sweetheart, your father and I are trying to save you from a humiliating situation. How can you fathom staying in a place that is so foul? It’s more than just the video and all that was… exposed, but we feel you have become too… corrupted into a lifestyle that doesn’t fit who you are.”

  I flinched, unsure if I understood correctly. “Excuse me? What does that mean?”

  My father scanned the restaurant before lowering his voice. “We saw enough perversion in that video to last a lifetime. Deciding it was natural to… experiment in such ways only tells us we’ve left you on your own and unguided too long. The U of T has a much more—”

  “What?! Are you serious? Because I used a dildo in the privacy of my own room, I’m somehow corrupted?”

  “Adrian, bring your voice down,” my mother chided.

  “No. What the hell? Enough perversion to last a lifetime? It was literally two minutes of a video, or less before Krew stopped it. Enough to be utterly humiliating, yes, but I’m twenty-four, it’s not unnatural to have sexual urges and to want to experiment some. Jesus, I’m not twelve, and that’s not perverse!”

  The fury behind my father’s gaze burned me, but I refused to back down.

  “It’s because I’m gay, isn’t it?” I added, meeting his anger with my own. “You said unnatural. That’s what that means, isn’t it?”

  “Sweetheart, your father and I are fine with your sexuality.”

  “Really? Does Dad agree with that statement? Do you?”

  “Adrian—”

  “I’m not leaving Dewhurst. Somehow, I’ll move past this shitstorm and keep going. I like this school, and I like my job, and I’m not leaving Rory… I… I love him.”

  The silence was deafening. It was like the hum of other patrons, and the clatter of waitresses delivering food had been sucked into a vacuum leaving nothing but emptiness. The lack of sound hurt my ears as I waited for a response. It was almost like time had stopped.

  It was true. I hadn’t found words to express it to Rory yet, but I loved him. The idea of leaving and never knowing what we could have hurt too much to fathom.

  After an agonizing handful of minutes, my father removed the napkin from his lap and threw it on the table before pushing back and standing.

  “If you’ll excuse me,” he snapped.

  I thought he was leaving the restaurant altogether, but he stormed in the direction of the washrooms leaving my mom and me alone.

  “He’ll be fine. Give him a minute.”

  I wanted to scream.

  “Your father has always carried such high aspirations for you, Adrian. He only wants you to succeed.”

  “At what cost? Is my success more important than my happiness?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Sure feels that way.”

  My mother had always been the more reasonable of the two, but it was a crap shoot if she could get through to my dad. There were days she was as narrow-minded as him, but if I wanted to stay in Dewhurst, she might be my only hope of making him see reason.

  “Mom, the guys who did this are my roommates. They’ve been bullying me since I moved in four years ago. Every year it’s worse. This never would have happened if Dad had listened to me a few months ago when I called. I told him I wanted to live somewhere else, but he blew me off just like he has since I was a kid. I don’t want to leave this school. And I’m not leaving Rory. I work my ass off, and he knows it. Can’t you talk to him? It’d be nice to have my parents on my side for a change.”

  She took a deep drink from her Bloody Mary, nearly draining the glass, before acknowledging me. “He just wants the best for you, Adrian.”

  “Despite all that crap in the lecture hall yesterday, the best is here.” With Rory, I wanted to add, but I held my tongue.

  “I’ll talk with him.”

  Breakfast finished on pins and needles. The air was thick with unspoken animosity. Afterward, my father escorted me to the college to meet with the dean. I shared about my roommates and the ongoing problems I’d been having while Roger took notes and my father listened silently from his perch by the window. Roger explained that because we lived in college housing, rules of conduct extended to there as well. Calvin, Dylan, and on a lesser scale, Marcus, had violated many rules and breached my privacy on more than one occasion.

  As Roger took more notes, he mumbled, “I’ll be meeting with a constable this afternoon to discuss what further action we might take. A lot of this will be difficult to prove since it will be your word against theirs. Is there anyone who could validate these claims?”

  I opened my mouth to say no but closed it again when a thought occurred to me. Despite agreeing with Rory, somewhere deep inside, I truly felt Marcus wasn’t a bad person. He was as much a victim as me, but the only way he kept himself safe was by pretendi
ng to go along with everything. If he could have helped sooner with regards to the video, I believed he would have.

  “It’s possible Marcus might speak up. I get the feeling he’s not like the others. Just a hunch.”

  “Noted,” Roger said, penning more on his pad. “I’ll be in touch, Adrian. The police might need to talk with you as well if it goes that far, but I’ll let you know.”

  * * *

  By the time I made it back to Rory’s it was mid-afternoon. I expected him to be asleep, so I let myself in with the key he’d given me earlier, only to find him sitting on the couch, working on his laptop with a lit cigarette pinched between fingers.

  “Shit!” He smashed it out in the ashtray the moment he saw me and jumped up like there was something he was going to do about the thick cloud hovering in the air.

  I halted as he stared at the curtain-covered windows in desperation. The anguish on his face cut me deep.

  “I couldn’t go outside,” he explained. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know when you’d be back and…”

  And the fact that he was wearing sunglasses and his body was covered head to toe in clothing, including the drawn-up hood from his sweatshirt told me his stress was still high. He’d been profoundly affected by his exposure the day before. It accounted for the clothing, and stress always made him smoke more.

  “I have my inhaler. I’ll live.”

  His shoulders slumped, and I could just barely make out the look of remorse on his face. The room was dark apart from the faint glow around the curtains. “I’ve been trying to cut back. I want to quit, but it’s become reflexive to grab a smoke when I’m stressed. I’m sorry.”

  My nose twitched, and I tried to ignore it as I fell into his arms. “Trust me, I get it.”

  I burrowed into his neck and pressed my nose against his skin, inhaling, regardless of the risk to my lungs. Maybe it was a disgusting habit, but I’d long ago learned how the smell of cigarettes mixed with Rory’s natural chemistry made me smile and warmed me inside and out. It was familiar and safe. It was him.