by Sarah Price
After the service, Daniel stood with Jacob and Amos, watching as the women served the older men first. Jacob seemed to be searching the crowd, his eyes darting over the women until he noticed the young woman in the light green dress. She moved throughout the tables, refilling the water glasses of the men, unaware that she was being watched by the small group of young men by the barn door.
“You coming to the singing tonight, Daniel?” Jacob asked. Clearly he was asking for his own purposes. A young woman would not arrive unattended by a male, usually an older brother but, in this case, a distant cousin would do.
He felt sheepish, knowing that Jacob was most likely planning to have his buggy ready to offer Rachel a ride home. He wasn’t certain if he should tell Jacob, not wanting to upset his friend before the evening. However, Daniel knew that courting was a private matter and, if Rachel decided to change her mind, that was her prerogative. He just hoped that she wouldn’t do so, especially after he had decided to use the open-top buggy tonight. “Ja,” he responded casually.
“Reckon you’re bringing your cousin again?”
Daniel pursed his lips. “Second cousin,” he said, his voice strained.
The conversation ended abruptly as the tables began to clear and it was time for the younger men to sit down for their noon meal. Daniel tried to determine which table Rachel would be serving so that he could sit at that one but it was too difficult with the first group of men leaving and the second group scurrying to claim their place.
Daniel ended up sitting next to some of his other friends, apart from Amos and Jacob. For the first few minutes, he caught up on the news from his friend Benjamin and listened to the stories from Reuben and John Yoder about their older brother’s rumspringa in Florida. He became absorbed in the stories, amazed at Jonas Yoder’s bravery to travel to Florida by himself.
Many Amish youth travelled during their rumspringa but it appeared that Jonas Yoder had found himself some part-time work building houses along the Gulf of Mexico. Reuben and John retold the stories from the letters they had received, describing the ocean that stretched as far as the eye could see and the tall palm trees as though they, too, were alongside their brother. It sounded glorious and adventuresome, Daniel admitted, but too worldly for his own taste.
“Lemonade?”
Daniel heard the soft voice at his shoulder and quickly glanced to his right. Rachel stood behind him, a pitcher of cool lemonade in one hand and an empty glass in another. He thought he saw his friends nudging each other and, from across the way, he saw Jacob Zook staring at him. It wasn’t uncommon for a young woman to express her interest in a man by seeking him out in order to tend to his needs first at the Sunday fellowship meal.
“Danke, Rachel,” he replied softly.
As she leaned down to place the glass before him, she whispered, “I made it myself.” And then she was gone, tending to the other men. But by approaching him first, she had made a bold statement for all to see. Daniel didn’t know how to respond so he simply lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip. He glanced over at the table where Jacob Zook sat and noticed a look of concern on his friend’s face. Daniel knew that, if Jacob asked to take Rachel home and she declined, his friend would certainly know why. But, as is the case among the Amish men, there would be no hard feelings among friends. It was just seen as God’s will.
After the meal, the men sat in chairs under the shade of a several large trees while the women cleaned the dishes. The younger men stacked the benches in the bench wagon so that all of the church benches could be moved to another farm for the next worship service in two Sundays. When they had finished, it was time to disperse and return home. Each of the families had afternoon chores and the young men were eager to finish them before returning to the Zook farm for the Sunday night singing.
Back at the Lapp farm, Daniel changed into his work clothes and hurried out to the barn. He wanted to finish his chores so that he could groom his Morgan, brushing the mare’s coat until it shone when he hitched her up to the buggy. Then he would get changed again before walking to his brother’s front door to ask Rachel if she was ready to leave for the singing.
His father seemed to sense the urgency in his son’s behavior. But Jonas didn’t comment nor did he relent on any of the chores. He was, however, beaming inside that, as last, his son appeared to have interest in a young woman, and an Amish one at that. “Don’t forget that the horse stalls need to be mucked,” he stated as Daniel swept the main barn.
“Yes, Daed,” he replied obediently.
“And check the water buckets if you intend to go out tonight,” Jonas said, knowing full well that Daniel intended to return to the Zook farm for the youth festivities later that evening and suspecting that his son was taking Rachel.
It was seven o’clock before Daniel finished with his chores and had changed back into his Sunday clothing. He ignored the looks on his parents’ face as he went next door, standing awkwardly before the very door that on any other occasion he would have simply walked through. But this time, he knocked and waited for Rachel to answer.
“Thought you might want to ride over to Zook’s singing with me,” he mumbled, his voice too soft for anyone else to hear. He felt awkward, acting as though she didn’t already say that she would ride with him. But he certainly didn’t want anyone to suspect that he had already asked her.
“Right kind of you, Daniel,” she said cheerful and hurried out the door without so much as a goodbye to Lillian and Junior.
The Morgan stood ready, already harnessed to the courting buggy. Rachel seemed to hesitate when she saw the buggy but the moment quickly passed as Daniel touched her elbow to help her step up and into the front seat. She ran her hand over the wood as she waited for Daniel to cross around to the other side. When he sat next to her, she looked at him. “What a beautiful buggy,” she said breathlessly.
He tried not to smile, not wanting to look too proud. “Junior was the one who bought it when he courted Lillian,” he said. But, as soon as the words slipped out, he flushed, hoping that he didn’t sound suggestive. After all, he reasoned, he was only taking her to and from a singing. It wasn’t as though he was courting her.
Slapping the reins on the horse’s rump, the buggy lurched forward and Rachel fell against Daniel. She laughed nervously and quickly straightened herself, making certain that there was some distance between them as was proper. The night was warm and, as the sun began to set over the horizon, the sky displayed an unusually red skyline. She sank back into the plush seat and focused on enjoying the ride in the open-top buggy. She had never ridden in such a buggy before this evening and she wanted to savor the feeling of the wind on her face and the gentle pounding inside her chest.
If Daniel had been anxious all day, Rachel had felt a similar way. She hadn’t known for certain if Daniel was just being polite in asking her to the singing that first time. Truth be told, she knew that they hadn’t gotten along so well that she was afraid to make any presumptions. But when she had seen the courting buggy, she suspected that politeness was only part of the reason behind his nervous behavior all weekend. Perhaps, she thought, he wasn’t just trying to make up for some of his less than out-going behavior from the past few weeks.
When they arrived at the singing, Rachel left Daniel’s side and hurried to where the young women stood. She was beginning to recognize some of the faces and was relieved when one of the girls from the previous singing waved her over to join their group. If she still felt shy among these strangers, it didn’t show. She was embracing the fact that they weren’t that different than the family and friends she had left behind in Ohio.
After the opening sermon, the singing began. For the most part, Rachel knew the words to the songs and sang along with the others. She had only attended a handful of singings when she was at home in Ohio, and those only because her father had forced her to attend with her older brother before he got married last fall. Rachel hadn’t enjoyed those singings, the eyes of her peers starin
g at her with unasked questions and looks of sorrow that reminded her too much of what had happened. But here, in Lancaster County, no one knew about her past and treated her as a normal Amish woman. Slowly she felt as though she were shedding her fears and able to relax among this community.
During the first break, Rachel stood with a small group of girls. They seemed to be younger than her but she didn’t mind. She was just happy to be included. She felt a hand on her arm and she turned around, surprised to see Daniel next to her with a cup of punch in his hand. He held it out, waiting for her to take it. “Thought you might be thirsty, what with all that singing in this warm barn,” he said.
“Why danke, Daniel,” she said, the surprise in her voice genuine and sincere. Her eyes followed him as he walked back toward his friends. She could hear the girls next to her giggle and thought she saw them nudge each other but Rachel ignored them. Instead, she continued to watch Daniel as he stood among his peers, talking about whatever men talked about when they were trying to ignore the looks and stares of the women around them. Rachel felt her own heart flutter inside her chest as she wondered if, after the rocky start from the past few weeks, it was possible that Daniel might actually be interested in more than just familial friendship. Was it possible that he was interested in her?
It was close to eleven when she saw him approach her again. There was a break in the singing and several of the young men were approaching the young women, pairs beginning to disappear, quickly followed by the rattling of buggy wheels and musical sound of horse hooves on the driveway. Daniel stood by her side, his nervousness apparent as his shuffled his feet and looked around the barn.
“Getting late, ja?” he said casually.
“I reckon,” she replied.
“Best be headed home soon, you think?” he asked.
She tried to hide her smile. “I reckon,” she repeated.
Without another word, they walked out of the barn and into the night. Gently, he held her arm and led her through the darkness toward the place where he had left his horse and buggy. The air was a bit cooler than earlier and, as he helped her into the open-topped buggy, he reached beneath her seat for a warm blanket, which he tucked around her lap and legs. It had been an after-thought, something that he remembered at the last minute before he had left the farm. But now, with the cicadas chirping and the night air so crisp, he was glad that he had the foresight to consider her comfort.
Once the buggy had pulled away from the Zook farm, Daniel seemed to relax a bit. He had felt so tense at the singing. In the past, when he had asked a young woman if he could drive her home, it hadn’t seemed as stressful or created such anxiety in him. The rides home had been short and sweet with small talk and few laughs. It had been more about camaraderie and usually with young women that he had known for years, often through his older sister, Sylvia.
But, this time, he noticed a difference in himself. He had worried all day about the buggy. He wondered what to talk about with Rachel. He feared that she would find him dull or uninteresting. After all, they hadn’t spent much time together and, to be truthful, the time they had spent hadn’t been quite favorable toward developing a strong relationship. Once they were at the singing, he had felt distracted, keeping an anxious eye on Rachel in the hopes of avoiding Jacob asking if he could drive her home. To his relief, they had left before Jacob had done so.
Now, alone in the buggy, without any worries that someone would notice them or overhear them, he could breathe easier and try to enjoy himself. He let the Morgan walk down the road, the pace slow and steady as each hoof clomped gently against the roadway in a soothing, rhythmic beat. He held the reins with one hand, the other resting on the seat between them.
“Sure was a nice gathering, ja?” he asked, more to break the silence than because he really thought that the singing was superior to others.
“Oh yes,” she said, her voice soft and pleasant. He could sense the sincerity of her words by the enthusiasm in her tone. “I really enjoyed it.”
“Seems you are starting to like it here in Lancaster, ain’t so?” he asked, turning the buggy down a road that actually took them further away from his parents’ farm. He had already planned how to take a longer route home this evening, especially since the Zooks didn’t live more than one mile from home.
“Not much different, I guess,” she said. Then, after a slight hesitation, she added. “Mayhaps a bit more conservative.”
“How so?”
She took a deep breath and shifted in the seat next to him. “Ach vell,” she began. “Seems that there is more formality in relationships, I reckon. The sermons, too.” She paused and, when Daniel didn’t say anything, she slowly continued. “But, like I told you the other day, I find that I don’t mind that.”
“Oh?” he said casually.
“Ja,” she said, nodding her head in the dark buggy. “There is much that can be said without saying anything.”
“Quite true, Rachel,” He laughed softly. He had never thought of it that way but, once she said it, he realized that she was right. A look was worth a dozen words, a brief touch worth a hundred. So much was said without any words being spoken. It added a bit to the mystique of many relationships: father to son, brother to brother, man to woman. “Quite true.”
“And you never left Lancaster?” she asked, turning to look at him, even though the inside of the buggy was cast in shadows from the full moon in the sky.
He hesitated before responding. It was true that many youths took advantage of their rumspringa to venture into the world of Englischers. So far, none of the Lapp children had cared to do that. Instead, they had stayed close to the comfort of their home, family, and community. “Vell,” he began. “Been to Philadelphia twice but that’s about as far as I travelled.” He didn’t regret it. He knew he would join the faith. For Daniel, there was nothing outside of this wonderful town where had been born and lived his entire life.
“I never meant to leave Ohio,” she said quietly.
He looked at her, “But you did.”
“My daed made me leave.” Her voice was matter of fact and very flat. A long silence followed and Daniel knew better than to inquire more. It was her story to tell, not his to pull from her. He often wondered why her daed had sent her away. He knew that her mother had died and he knew that she mourned deeply for her. But that was it. No one would pry into her history, not in the Lapp family.
“You are better traveled than most Amish,” he finally added lightly. “And now you are here.”
She smiled. “Ja, now I am here.” There was a long pause. To break the silence, Rachel cleared her throat delicately. “Those girls I met tonight mentioned that there is a festival in New Holland in next month or so. Wonder what that’s about.”
Daniel hesitated for a moment. He had forgotten about the annual festival with carnival-like atmosphere and community-type games. It was usually in the early fall. This year, it was much earlier in the season. One year, his brother Emanuel had participated in a rope-pull on behalf of the Leola fire department. They hadn’t won but they sure had fun. He seemed to recall that was when he was courting Shana.
“They have that festival every year,” he said. “Never went.”
“What do you think they do there?”
He shrugged. “Games, food, some rides. My older brothers went many years back but I hadn’t heard much about it. Never paid much attention, I guess.” He glanced in the mirror before tugging slightly on the left rein for the horse to turn down the next street. The roads were dark and the moon bright. It cast a silvery glow on the street, illuminating everything. He relaxed into the seat, comforted to feel her arm gently pressed against his. “Since I never went to a festival…” He glanced at her. “Never had much reason to go but, mayhaps this year, I reckon it might be fun to go, ja?”
Rachel looked at him, waiting for a long moment before she finally asked, “Are you telling me or asking me, Daniel?”
“I…” He paused, trying to find
the words to answer her question without giving away what he was feeling.
Brief conversations and riding in the buggy to and from church and singings was one thing. It was private. But to attend such an event was a big step. It was a public statement that, indeed, they were courting. Additionally, he had never thought much about attending the festival. It just wasn’t his idea of fun. Late nights meant tired mornings and there was too much work to be done around the farm. But, as he sat next to Rachel, her presence so close and her voice so hopeful, he knew what his answer would be. If it meant that he could spend time alone with her, then there was no question about it. If it meant that she knew what he thought about her, as long as she agreed to go, that was just fine with him, too.