Dinah
When they were done Dinah said give me ten dollars more and Jimmy said give me a lock of your hair to treasure forever and Dinah said if you love me you'll give me a tip and Jimmy said if you love me you'll give me a lock of your hair and also your nose and mouth and Dinah lay in bed pouting and said she was hungry and Jack said too bad I spent the whole forty on dope and Dinah said please gimme five dollars so I can have breakfast I'm so cold and so hungry and Jack said aw come on you're not gonna make a girl go hungry are you and Dinah shivered and wrapped herself up in blankets and Jimmy said I'll give you ten dollars for a lock of your hair and Dinah said no that's voodoo and Jack said stop whining you chocolate covered yummy little black bitch I'm gonna cut your hair now do you want length or thickness? and Jimmy said length is the primary consideration and Jack said where's that stiletto you had and Jimmy said the blade's pretty dull and Jack said never mind I have a razor and he pulled a long skinny lock of Dinah's hair straight up from her scalp and Dinah reached up and felt it and said that's too much! and Jack said never mind I was fixing to cut your hair anyway you'll never notice it and Dinah said what do you want it for anyway and Jack said to Jimmy I could tell just by looking at you you're a muff diver, I'm telling you Dinah is real good to eat out her pussy just pops and pops like popcorn and there are some times of the month when you could just light a match from her forehead she is so beautiful and Dinah screamed when Jack started sawing across the hair with his razor and Jack said oh shut up you spoiled bitch and Dinah said you watch it or I'll show him my bruises and Jack said cut the crap with a butter knife and Jack said there you are I don't have a rubber band for it but I'll put it away for you all nice in a matchbox.
Home Again
Hey there Jimmy you look happy said Pearl and Jimmy said oh Pearl the best damn thing happened today better than a whore with two cunts I was walking down Sixth Street and ran into my old buddy Code Six that I was in the service with and he said he had met Gloria last week and she was thinking about me! (I guess she tried to get in touch with me when I was at the Hotel Canada but I didn't have my forwarding address) anyway she gave Code Six this lock of hair for me to remember her by.—Jimmy I'm really glad for you, smiled straggly-haired old Pearl. Hey, boys! Did you hear that Jimmy and Gloria are getting back together?—But although there were half a dozen men in the lobby no one answered because no one cared.
7
Dinah and Jack
The saddest thing was when Dinah smiled widely or laughed on the bed with her legs spread, as if she were having a good time in that room full of dirt and steam and the radiator hissing and clanking. Her bed was three canted mattresses; the dresser was missing a drawer, and there was a bloody tissue on top of it, and the walls were bare. Jack sat on the bed, shooting speedball into his arm, and Dinah yawned and scratched her itchy cunt.
8
Gloria
The young girl stood half in a rectangle of sunlight on a wall, hands on hips, holding a beer in a paper bag, and the knife of light slit her down the middle so that under the nightgown one breast was bright and one was dark and the knife sliced down the shorts she wore (the tail of the nightdress tucked in), and with two fingers she plucked one cuff away from the other to accentuate her crotch which the knife sliced through and down between her legs and she was very majestic and mysterious as she stood proudly half-faced in the light. And her pride was firsdy that she could make almost any man's dick hard, and secondly that when men fucked her she lay perfecdy still and her thoughts were somewhere else, so that the rasp of drunk-breath in her face was no closer to her than the patter of raindrops on the roof when she was sleeping. For we all must build our worlds around us, bravely or dreamily, as long as we can we shelter ourselves from the rain, walling ourselves in gorgeously.
9
Gloria
Although buying Dinah's hair had been an escalation of sorts, Jimmy had no intention of taking Code Six's advice literally, buying whores' dirty panties and kissing them (although when a whore talked he thought this is what Gloria would have said, and suddenly he was all attention; when a whore stripped he thought Gloria would have had underpants like this, and then he had to pay for them), of buying whores' dresses and high heels and garter belts, wigs and bras and socks and similar items each representing some woman's physical character like notes of music, which are no less pure, distinct, unique for not meaning anything (as long as the panties that were to become Gloria's smelled like some particular cunt it did not matter which because that was now Gloria's cunt; the only important thing after that was consistent obedience to precedent); certainly he never wanted to go farther like Jack the Ripper and hack off parts of whores' bodies to take home with him, as if through some combination of hubris and sincerity he could construct, however momentarily, his own charnel-Gloria like some Frankenstein's monster lying in his bed and listening for him with black girls' and white girls' ears in its patchwork face and grinning for him with Cecily's teeth and Dinah's teeth and Phyllis's teeth and licking its grey quilt of lips with Melissa's pickled tongue. No, if he'd done that people might have asked about her, although Jimmy was certainly ready to explain if anyone did ask which no one did that Gloria was going through some changes right now so she never did anything in fact she hardly ever talked and if Jimmy went to the bars Gloria would stay home in bed or else she would wait across the street in one of the abandoned cars; whenever she saw Jimmy with other people she hid. But these apologetics would have been embarrassing. Besides, they were unnecessary. Whenever Jimmy needed the smell of a woman or the soft weight of a woman's embrace, why, he had the whores being themselves for Gloria who partook of them all and lived on them all like some sky-goddess feasting upon the smoke from sacrifices. As for the rest of what he needed, the airy loveliness and happiness, he had that always with him; it floated at his arm like a helium balloon; no one could see it or ask about it or take it from him. So, having the hair, he really only needed the memories. Jimmy sat alone in his room, drinking tequila until his lips went numb. That's right honey babe (he said to Gloria) I have you I'm not lying I never lied to you I haven't told the truth for so long now that I've given up lying.
10
The Black Rose
Jimmy and Code Six strolled into the Black Rose a week later, on a Saturday afternoon when things were just starting to perk up and some lovely transvestites were dancing on the stage beside the pay bathroom and all the girls made a face when Code Six walked by and they wrinkled their noses and fanned the air away from themselves in a most ladylike way and said Jesus girl he stinks and Code Six went to the bathroom and reached for a dime to unlock the door but saw that his pocket was empty so he stood waiting until a man came out and then said well thanks, pal; I guess I came at the right time, and the man didn't say anything but Code Six caught the door before it closed and went inside and took a long piss as he read the competing slogans on the condom dispensers. —Sure is a nice day, Code Six said to the urinals. I never thought James would take me around again. But he don't care no matter how bad I smell; a friend sticks by a friend.—Meanwhile Jimmy was at the bar passing the time by asking Cecily if she had seen Puerto Rican Phyllis whom he had first met that night before he flatbacked Nicole; but Cecily was cool to Jimmy for some reason and did not prove informative; when Code Six came out of the bathroom it became clear by the way Cecily held her nose that he was the reason so Jimmy quickly said open me up a Budweiser would ya Cess but Cecily said is he drinking too? and Jimmy looked down at the floor and said I don't know (knowing perfectly well that Code Six was not because Code Six did not waste his money in bars) and Cecily said if he's not drinking he can't stay, and Jimmy said well cancel the beer I guess we'll just have to leave then; and he strode about the bar in the most earnest possible way until his eyes rewarded him with a view of Phyllis sitting in the corner, twirling and twirling the straw in her pink lady. Then suddenly he realized that he had not just been passing the time. When are you coming? he said inside hi
mself. Will this one make you come sooner? You know ever since Nicole I never stopped thinking about you.
So you don't want me to drink with you? said Code Six.
No, it's not that, said Jimmy. But I have to find her.
You found her, looks like. Sure are staring at her.
You know who I mean.
Well what the hell did you drag me out of my turf for? I thought you said you wanted my company.
I didn't think it through, said Jimmy steadily.
Code Six smiled. Don't think about it, he said. It's what you need to do. Well, uh, full auto fire, huh?
I'll come find you later, said Jimmy. Here's a buck for wine and thanks for everything.
Keep your fucking buck, said Code Six. What do you think I am, a charity case? You're the charity case.
Phyllis
Phyllis said yeah, what do you want? and Jimmy said are you working? and Phyllis said oh and Phyllis said oh and Phyllis said oh, honey I could make you so happy and she put Jimmy's hand on her breast and made him knead it and Jimmy said nice stuff Phyllis, really nice and then they went outside.
In the windowpanes of bars all around the blue neon Budweiser signs, reflections made cool jungles in which blurs pursued blurs.
After Jimmy zipped his fly back up Phyllis got to her feet and Jimmy said I have more money Phyllis if you come and meet a friend of mine, and Phyllis said how much and Jimmy said twenty and Phyllis said forty and Jimmy said thirty and Phyllis said anything, for you.
Dinah and Phyllis
Dinah leaned up against the wall on one leg, smiling and wearing mirror sunglasses (sunglasses make the world quieter and safer, as if you are viewing things behind smoked windows fronting your skull-house: you are inside and the world is outside, and the world cannot see into you; mirror sunglasses double the armor), and she wore a man's crewneck shirt to show her chest off and her legs were bare and her hair glowed around her like a corona. Her tits were goose-pimpled with the cold. She wore shell earrings that swung with her hair like satellite moons. She stood and waited until she saw a police car coming; then she walked slowly away in the center of the broad broad sidewalk, wiggling her ass while an old man sat on two steps watching her and smoking a cigarette.
That's her, said Jimmy.
Phyllis said how much is she getting and Jimmy said forty and Phyllis said then give me forty and Jimmy said anything for you.
Hey Dinah said Jimmy I want you to meet my friend Phyllis, and Dinah and Phyllis looked at each other, and Dinah said to Jimmy well what's up babe oh now I remember you you're the one that cut my hair well it grew back so do you want another date?
I do said Jimmy and I remember you because you're so beautiful Dinah I'm telling you I'll never forget the first afternoon I saw you when you were at that fire hydrant in front of the Nitecap with your head so straight and proud and you looked so fine and your thighs were so soft and not too thin not too fat and the street was reflected in your mirror sunglasses but curving away crazily.
The way you flatter me, laughed Dinah.
I mean it, said Jimmy, and Phyllis is just as beautiful as you, so let's all three go up to your place and relax.
How much? said Dinah.
Forty, said Jimmy.
And forty for me, reminded Phyllis as she slid her arm around his waist.
Yes, it was a sunny happy day, happy as a whore down on hands and knees to make you laugh in the doorway of a hotel, wiggling her shiny satin ass, and the laces of the whateverirwas dug into her flanks going back and forth like bootstrings, funny as the doggishly ugly faces of fortyish transvestite whores pursing their cheeks and loudly wolf-whisding at men whom they thought might just might want to have their dicks sucked, transvestite whores alone or in pairs or even in threes playfully slapping each other's paunches with fat arms, showing off their hormone tits with winks and calls and looks from side to side to make sure that Laredo and the other undercover bitches weren't rolling down the street in a van or an old junker that tried so hard not to look anything like the standard black-and-white that had busted and would bust every last one of them, over and over, confiscating their money when they caught them in the act.
Is this some three-way scene? said Dinah. You want me to fuck her or you want more hair or what?
I want you both to tell me stories, said Jimmy.
That sounds like a fun date, said Dinah. Even better than the last one. You are so creative. I love men with new ideas.
They went to the Hotel Cheyenne and because it was after visiting hours Jimmy had to give the clerk five dollars and then they went upstairs and Phyllis and Dinah said not a word to each other and Phyllis sat down in her tank top with a single lock of hair curling over her forehead and gazed sadly at the wall and Dinah smiled at him brighdy, putting all of herself into it because she had not yet been paid, and Jimmy said all right now honeypies sit on that bed and take your clothes off and Phyllis undressed and bounced her big tits in her hands with her eyes on Jimmy so trustingly and her penis was hard between her legs and Dinah pulled her dress over her head and sat down watching Jimmy with her fresh stare and her beautifully pouting lower lip. She lay back on the bed and started playing with a roll of toilet paper. Ladies you are BEAUTIFUL, Jimmy declared; ladies you are PERFECT.
Honey you want me to play with myself while I tell you stories? said Phyllis.
If you want to, girl, said Jimmy. That's your decision. Just tell me stories about things that have happened to you.
Phyllis
When Phyllis was little her mother used to paint her sister's nails and Phyllis would be a-cryin' until she painted Phyllis's, too. When she turned twelve she just kept thinking about having a boy make love to her. She did it with her cousin, and it was wonderful even though she didn't know anything about lubrication or anything and she thought I know how I am now and how I will always be. In high school with its callowness and strictures she was just a regular gay boy although she could already swoop her muscular arms in gestures of spectral perfection that attracted respectful whispers as did the special things Phyllis said and the special way Phyllis walked so she was vulnerable because there was a lot of jealousy among the queens, who would push you down the stairs if they could or hurt you in some other secret way; therefore Phyllis became secret, too, hid herself in herself until 1969 when she was sixteen and the sun came up and spread its light in all directions like a bright yellow dress because Phyllis had met Shawna, who was a real transvestite, and Shawna saw the beautiful secret in Phyllis and looked into Phyllis's eyes knowing that she could let it out so that it could shout and dance and make Phyllis happy as Shawna was happy, Phyllis had never realized before that you could be that perfect. Shawna showed her everything, showed her how to dress and how to do it, and Phyllis started taking estrogen and Premarin® and Provera®* so that she got the sweet big breasts that men loved to squeeze through her shirt and one night she was ready to come out and so she and Shawna went out with some army men and told them watch this and they went into another room and changed and came back and the army men were drinking champagne and talking about jungles and helicopters, men and helicopters, smoke and flames shooting out of tanks and black smoke rolling over the jungle hills and stinking steam rising and animals crying and when Phyllis and Shawna swept proudly into the room the champagne glasses just fell from the army men's hands and they said is that you? and Phyllis was so proud and happy.
Dinah
The first thing Dinah could remember was riding in the back seat of the car with her sister when her mother drove down to Tijuana to go to the dentist and on the way back Dinah's mother gave them both gum because they'd been good and Dinah and her sister chewed their gum and had such a good time until their fillings popped out.
Whores for Gloria Page 5