by A'zayler
It was so pretty and exotic looking, much like the boy Ezra. On top of him having some of the darkest skin she’d ever seen, he had the prettiest eyes she’d ever observed on a man. They were big and round with such a unique light behind them, they gave a sparkling illusion. It was weird because they lit up his whole face. Like miniature lamps shining down on him.
Thick black eyebrows scrunched together, while the curve of his smile ended in deep dimples on each cheek. His thick lips blended with his face, but gave way to a Colgate white smile. Cannon’s eyes trailed over the long locs swaying around his shoulders as he moved subtly in his seat. She couldn’t really tell if he dressed the same as the rest of the country people or not, because he’d been in gym shorts and white t-shirts, or school basketball paraphernalia, since she’d gotten there.
“What you mean I’m the last one? The new girl ain’t went either.” Ezra pointed at Cannon with his thumb.
A few eyes went to her as she sat in her seat scribbling on her paper. She stopped and looked up when she noticed the classroom had gotten quieter. She met a few stares head on, others she dismissed and looked back down at her paper.
“Boy, hush. Leave her alone and worry about yourself. Nothing she has going on is any of your concern. Get your behind up here.”
Ezra sucked his teeth and began preparing to get out of his seat. Cannon’s eyes darted to the paper on his desk, then to the paper in his hand, before traveling up to his face. He was looking at her with a sly smirk.
“You next, New Girl.”
Cannon’s small smile curved as her head shook from side to side.
“Watch and see,” he whispered as he headed to the front of the class.
Cannon observed the slight lean at the top of his body derived from his height. The gym shorts hung just above the black athletic leggings he wore beneath them. The black Makenna State Basketball shirt stretched across his already widening chest, and cuffed a little beneath his arms. Cannon’s eyes traveled over his body as he stretched lazily, before looking down at the notebook paper in his hand.
His face shined as he looked around the room with a comical smirk on his face. “Alright now, Professor Keating, don’t be on no funny junk about my poem.”
“I’ll be on whatever I want to be on, now go ahead.”
He chuckled a little before holding his paper up in a good enough distance for him to read. After a few deep breaths, he began.
“I dream big, I fight hard, I push myself to unimaginable limits of perseverance. A black man, a husband, a father, a protector and provider. They need me, as I need them. They serve me as I serve them. A lover who protects what belongs to him, one who eliminates sadness and replaces it with the stars and moon of the night’s sky. For them, for her, for me, I can’t get tired, I can’t give up, and I can’t let go. We fuss, we fight, we make life harder for each other, but that’s our test. That’s our strength. Hold my hand and lead with me, hold my heart and comfort me, hold my last name and be with me. You and I, untold, unnoticed, and unlike anybody else . . . A letter to my future wife.” Ezra scratched his ear nervously before looking up at the quiet classroom. “The end!” He said loud and dramatically to detour the seriousness of his beautiful poem.
Everyone else laughed, but not Professor Keating, and most definitely not Cannon. She was exhilarated by his writing. Words were her thing, and his had stirred up a new infatuation inside of her. She inhaled deeply and even had to fan herself quickly before looking away from him.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Professor Keating took her place back at the front of the room as she clapped her hands in praise. “Ezra, my Ezra. That was beautiful and well deserving of the A that you’re about to get. Jerald, you need to get with him and see if he has time to sit in on some of those rap sessions. Maybe he can offer you some assistance.” She continued to sing his praises as he walked to his seat with his classmates’ laughter as his background noise.
“Your turn, New Girl.” Ezra looked at Cannon before taking his seat.
His presence brought about another smile to her face. “No, it ain’t.” Her voice was low and somewhat softer than normal.
“Bet.” Ezra raised his hand. “Professor Keating, the new girl said she want a turn.”
Once again, all eyes were on her.
“Cannon, you don’t have to do this, dear.” Mrs. Keating told her. “You just transferred in, and I gave this assignment the first day of classes. There’s no way you’ve had time to do it correctly.”
“Why she don’t? She got her poem right here.” Ezra snatched the pink piece of paper from Cannon’s desk before she could stop him and held it up in the air.
Cannon tried to snatch it from him, but was unsuccessful. “Stop, Ezra.” She whined his name.
He looked at her with a smile that made her want to dive into it. “Alright now, New Girl, don’t be saying my name like that.”
A few snickers could be heard around the room, while another male voice said something in agreement with Ezra, further embarrassing Cannon. She held her head down and shook it.
“Cannon, would you like to go? It’s up to you. I know you haven’t had enough time to prepare, but you’re more than welcome to share what you have.”
Ezra sat the paper back on her desk with a mischievous smile. “Go ahead, you know you want to.”
Cannon eyed him through squinted lenses before looking down at her paper. Heavy in contemplation, Cannon bit at her bottom lip. She’d been writing for years, so she was sure what she’d written was good, but that didn’t mean she wanted to share it. It was a personal poem written for her own personal therapy more than anything, but good nonetheless.
“Don’t feel pressured, baby.” The sound of Professor Keating’s voice came from the back of the room.
Cannon sat in thought for a moment longer before standing to her feet. Thicker than your average twenty-one-year-old girl, the tiny aisle between the desks didn’t allot her much room to get through, but she made it work. Cannon wasn’t overweight or anything like that, but she was thick and shapely. More bottom heavy than top.
At the front of the class, Cannon pushed her glasses up on her nose and made eye contact with a few people before taking yet another deep breath and looking at her paper. Her eyes scanned over the words quickly selecting the part she wanted to read.
“I miss you. I miss everything you were to me and what we were together. I’m not sure if it’s your laugh or your smile that I miss the most. Maybe it’s your hugs or the way you kissed my forehead every morning and night. It’s too many emotions and too much pain to face, so I don’t. Instead I think of you and smile at the sky because I know you’re up there singing and flying high. See you again one day, until then I’ll just miss you from here.”
Cannon stopped there and put her paper down by her side. She hurried back to her seat and slid in smoothly. It didn’t take long for her to situate herself, and look at Professor Keating. Her head was tilted to the side as she smiled at Cannon sympathetically.
“That was beautiful and delivered with so much passion. Awesome job young lady.”
Cannon nodded her head but didn’t say anything. Instead she folded her paper and stuck it inside the pink, black, and gold notebook on her desk. She stuffed the notebook into her backpack and looked up. Her eyes met Ezra’s the moment her head raised.
“Who was that about? Your boyfriend must have died or something?”
Cannon could tell he was doing his best to whisper, but the bass in his voice still carried. With a quick shake of her head, she dismissed him and looked away. She could feel his eyes on her as she looked straight ahead, but she remained forward facing until he looked away. It wasn’t long before the time came for them to be released from class.
Cannon was on her feet and moving through the throng of students in the hallway in no time. Her backpack was tightened securely on her back as she headed for the parking lot. Creative writing had been her only class for the day, so it was
time for her to get home. She checked her watch as she sped walked to her car. She had fifteen minutes to get there.
“Aye, New Girl,” someone yelled behind her.
She felt like she knew who it was, which was the only reason she broke her stride and turned around. Her eyes squinted until she used the side of her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Ezra was walking to her but began jogging to get there quicker.
“Where you going? Why you always rush out of class like that? Fast walking ass girl.”
Cannon’s cheeks warmed with a smile. “Because I have somewhere to be right after this.”
He hoisted his backpack on one side of his shoulder. “Where?”
A perfectly arched brow raised above Cannon’s right eye. “Why you in my business?”
Ezra chuckled, as did she. “My fault. I was just asking because you ain’t gon’ never make no friends like that. You have to talk to people. You’re always walking around looking so mean.”
“So.”
“So, that means ain’t nobody gon’ talk to your mean-looking ass.”
Cannon tried to keep a straight face, but she failed and laughed at him. He laughed when she did.
“I’m for real. People be wanting to talk to you, but you be acting all stuck up.”
Cannon leaned her weight on one of her legs, and his eyes followed her movement. His dark irises drifted slowly from her exposed thigh back up to her face.
“Who be wanting to talk to me?”
When he finally made eye contact with her again, he shrugged. “I don’t know they names.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, but I can find out for you if you want me to.”
Cannon’s eyes scanned over his dark skin and the way it glistened under the sun. “Yeah, do that for me and let me know.”
He was smiling when he nodded his head. “Bet.” He turned to walk away but stopped and turned back around. “You must gon’ talk to them or something when I find out who they are.”
“I might, it depends.”
“On what?”
“Who they are for one, and what they want to talk about for two. I don’t talk to everybody.”
“Why?” He asked while pushing some of his hair over his shoulder.
“I’m not a friendly person.”
“But you be talking to me.”
Cannon could hear the underlying curiosity in his words. She allowed her eyes to roam away from him without saying anything else. Not because she didn’t have anything to say, but because she didn’t know what she wanted to say. There was a lot in her head that she could relay about him, but she wasn’t sure if it was time for that yet.
“I’ll get back to you with them names though.” Ezra told her before holding his hand up for a high five.
Cannon looked at his large open palm before lightly slapping hers against it. The contact of their skin brought smiles to both of their faces.
“See you later, New Girl.”
“See you later, Ezra.”
His head shook and his dimples deepened. “I like the way you say my name.”
“Why?”
“Because you make it sound different. It doesn’t sound ugly like when these other girls say it.”
“That’s because I ain’t country.”
His laughter was cute and drew her to join in with him.
“Maybe.”
“Bye, Ezra.” Cannon waved and turned to head to her car.
The moment she was in, she checked her watch.
“Shoot!”
She needed to hurry up and get home or she wouldn’t be talking to anybody for the rest of her life because she’d be dead. Her mother was going to kill her.
3
Mama’s baby, sister’s maybe?
Loud crying met Cannon’s ears the moment she walked through the door of the three-bedroom townhouse that she shared with her mother and baby sister. Apparently, God hadn’t heard the last part of her prayer on her drive home. The house was still clean and her mother wasn’t at the front door waiting on her, so maybe God just stopped listening at the end, because she’d asked about that part at the beginning.
Cannon released one strap of her backpack and allowed it to slide down her arm and onto the floor before taking a few more steps into the house. The crying was getting louder and more intense which caused Cannon to panic. In a full out run, she took off for her mother’s room. Her heart began beating faster and faster as she rounded the corner.
“What took you so long to get here?” Her mother walked to Cannon and practically threw the screaming baby girl into her arms.
Cannon cradled her baby sister, Yara, in her arms making sure to support her three-week-old head. The slick black hair that was lying down around Yara’s head was wet from sweat as she sniffed uncontrollably, trying to calm her little body down.
“It’s okay, Mama, I’m here. Stop all that. You’re alright.” Cannon soothed the baby while rocking her closely against her chest. “Has she eaten yet, Mommy?”
Cannon watched her mother look over her shoulder with an evil look on her face. “No, all she’s done was cry. That’s all she ever does. It’s starting to drive me crazy.”
With a low growl, her mother, Karina, turned back around and began fastening the buckle on her shoes. The black pencil skirt and mint green top she was wearing looked amazing with the mint-colored pumps. Her hair was pulled back into a neat bun, and her face was bare, but she was radiant. As always. Karina was a beautiful woman, and where Cannon had gotten her bright skin and shapely body from.
Cannon was the exact replica of her mother, just a younger version. Yara on the other hand was a little darker than them already due to her father’s color. Her skin was brown like a cookie and she wasn’t even a month old yet, so more than likely she’d have a little more color on her soon.
“You okay, Mommy? I tried to get here as fast as I could.”
Karina stood and made her way to the full body mirror resting in the corner of her room. She nodded her head but didn’t say anything at first. Versus pushing her for an answer, Cannon took a seat on the bed and just watched her mother. There was a bottle on the corner of the nightstand, so Cannon shook it up before placing it to Yara’s little mouth and waited for her to latch onto the nipple.
She took it immediately, practically sucking all the milk down in one swallow. Cannon snickered at her before placing a kiss to her little forehead.
“I don’t know why she likes you more than me. You weren’t like that.” Karina’s voice was low and sad.
Cannon gave her mother an empathetic smile. “She loves you too, Mommy. She can just sense the irritation from you. I told you, you have to relax and she will too.”
Karina stared at Cannon and Yara for a minute with a distant look on her face. Cannon felt so bad for her because she knew her mother loved Yara, it was just tough battling postpartum on top of the grief she’d already been feeling beforehand.
Cannon stood from the bed and lay Yara down onto the pillow with her bottle tilted so that she could drink it, and went to her mother. She hugged Karina as soon as she was close to her.
“Don’t cry. She’s fine, I’m fine, and you’re fine. It’s just tough right now, but we’ll all get through it.”
Karina’s head fell onto Cannon’s shoulder as a torrent of tears rushed down her face. “She’s not supposed to be here, Cannon.”
“Shh, don’t say that. Yes, she is. If God didn’t want her here, she wouldn’t be. There’s a purpose for her in our lives. Stop crying.”
Karina sniffed and nodded her head against Cannon’s shoulder, but didn’t offer any supportive agreements. Cannon wasn’t surprised, because it had been that way since her mother had gotten pregnant with Yara. She cried morning, noon, and night, and if she wasn’t crying she was lying in bed in the dark. The only thing she did was go to work, and Cannon was sure that was only to get away from the baby.
Light crying came from behind them. Cannon looked to see Yar
a’s bottle had fallen out of her mouth. Karina pushed out of her grasp immediately.
“I have to go. I’ll see you later, Cannon.”
“Okay, you’re working both jobs today?” Cannon asked already knowing the answer.
Once out of Cannon’s grasp, Karina snatched her work bag from her bed, nodded her head, and hurried from her bedroom. Cannon watched the door she’d disappeared out of for a minute before going to Yara and grabbing her from the bed.
“It looks like it’s just you and me, little mama.” Cannon pecked the center of her forehead. “You want to help me with my homework? Huh, Yara boo?” Cannon kissed all over Yara’s little face before laying her on her shoulder and going back into the living room to grab her backpack.
With her backpack and laptop in one hand and Yara in the other, Cannon went to the living room and got situated to do her homework. It took a minute to get Yara back to sleep, so that she could work in peace, and the moment she was prepared to start, her phone began ringing.
“Hey, Daddy!” Cannon squealed when his face popped up on Facetime.
“What’s going on sweetheart? Is your mother gone to work?”
“Yes, she’s gone.”
Her stepfather, Aaron, nodded his head solemnly. “How’s my girl?”
“I’m good, just trying to get accustomed to this new school. I miss being up there with you.”
“Well, you know I would love nothing more than to have you back.”
Cannon sighed. “I know, but I have to stay here and look after Mommy. She’s still not doing well.”
“That’s her business.”
Cannon could hear the underlying anger in her father’s voice. It had been there for almost a year now and probably wouldn’t be going away any time soon. Though she hated things between her mother and Aaron had to end the way that they did, she understood his feelings and respected them.
“I’ll come visit for Christmas, how about that?”
His smile returned. “That’s perfect. I can’t wait.”