by A'zayler
There were pictures on her wall as well, and Yara’s name spelled out over her crib. It was neat and decorated nicely. Cannon’s things were on her side, while Yara’s were on hers. Cannon had made sure to keep their things separate, so that it would be easier to find everything.
Her eyes surveyed Ezra’s face as she took a seat at the top of her bed. He was still at the door looking around the room.
“Why you looking around like that?”
His eyes went to hers and paused before going to the three poster-sized pictures on her side of the room. The first one was of her and her mom, the second was her and her stepfather Aaron, and the last one was of her and a boy from her hometown. His eyes stayed there longer than they had on the other two. Cannon could feel a question coming, but surprisingly, it never did.
“You’re already too old to still be living at home with your mama, but you’re most definitely too old to be sharing rooms with your baby sister.”
Cannon’s cheeks rose as she smiled at him. “Don’t come to my house trying to talk about me. This arrangement works best, so that’s how I like it. Plus, I’m not that old. I’ll move once I graduate.”
Ezra pushed his hair out of his face, and stepped further into the room. He moved toward her bed slowly and lay backward across the bottom of it. His back was pressed against the wall as his legs stretched out in front of him.
“I’m just messing with you. It’s cool. I stay at home with my mom too. It’s cheaper, and she don’t be on me like that anyway. You on the other hand I’m not so sure about. You staying here taking care of the baby makes me think you’re really her mother and not her sister, but I digress.” He held his hands up in mock surrender.
“She’s really my sister. Her arrival was just a little unwelcomed so I’ve had to fill in all the empty spots until everything is back to normal.”
Ezra’s eyebrows scrunched with concern. “What you mean?”
“My mama was married to my daddy, cheated and got Yara, my daddy couldn’t take it and left. Yara’s real daddy isn’t in the picture anymore, so now my mama is suffering from postpartum really bad.” Cannon’s voice cracked a little, but she got it together quickly as she looked down at Yara, who was looking right back at her. “So, now I have to be sister-mommy.” She held Yara up and kissed her nose before cradling her close to her chest again.
“Damn, that’s messed up.”
“Tell me about it.” Cannon stated, exasperated.
Silence filled the room as they both sat deep in thought.
“I know that junk has to be stressful. Being a teenage mom when you really ain’t one.”
Cannon looked at him and nodded in agreement. She was sure the stress was written all over her face, but it was her life right then, so she accepted it. It was better for Yara to have her, than for her to be stuck with Karina all day. They’d probably kill each other.
“So, you don’t be doing nothing?”
Cannon’s head shook. “Not for real. I don’t really trust my mom with her for too long, so I go to school and come straight home.”
“So that’s why you be leaving class so fast?”
Cannon smiled and nodded.
“I was wondering where you used to be running off to. I used to be like dang, she running.”
They laughed together before Cannon continued.
“Anything else I do, I have to make sure it’s something I can take Yara with me to do.” Cannon resituated herself on the bed and sat against her headboard so that she was facing Ezra. “It’s cool though, I don’t really know anybody around here anyway, so I’m not missing much. It was worse when I was in Denver. It was like my life just ended.”
“I know it did. Babies ain’t no hoe. They real life blockers.”
Another sequence of feminine and bass-filled laughter serenaded the room as Cannon sat reflecting on her current situation.
“I have to be here for her though. She’s innocent, and can’t control the hand she’s been dealt, no more than I can.”
Ezra’s eyes were back on, and shining at her as she spoke. He looked so interested in what she was saying that it made her want to keep talking. It had been so long since she’d been able to actually enjoy a conversation about herself. Every time she talked to her daddy she was trying to avoid topics surrounding her mother and sister, when talking to Karina she was more of a therapist than anything, and she hadn’t really kept in contact with any of her other friends from Denver.
“So, you plan on letting her call you mama?”
Cannon laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean not for real, but depending on whether or not Karina ever gets herself together, she may not have a choice.”
“Karina is your mama?”
Cannon nodded.
“It’s that bad?”
Another nod from Cannon.
“Damn. My sister be having kids like it ain’t nothing and she be straight. I ain’t know that postpartum stuff was that serious.”
“I don’t think too many black women take it serious because we’re so used to just doing what we have to do, that we don’t pay ourselves any attention. We just take it, tuck it, and take care of our responsibilities. Then men, y’all be in and out so,” Cannon shrugged. “We don’t really have time to focus on ourselves. Then the first time you say something about not wanting your baby everybody looking at you like you’re crazy. Not knowing how real depression is.”
“That’s crazy, but true.” Ezra touched her foot and rubbed up and down the top of it. “I’ll help you out if you need me to.”
Cannon’s eyes went from his hand on her foot to his face. It was sincere and assuring. “You don’t have to do that. I got it. Thank you though.”
“Now, you just said black men be in and out. I’m sitting here trying to be in and be the baby’s brother-daddy, and you telling me no.”
Cannon’s laughter erupted, scaring Yara. She whined for a minute until Ezra grabbed her from Cannon. He kissed the top of her head and rocked her against his chest until she calmed down.
“So, you gon’ be her brother-daddy?”
“I’ll just be her daddy, since she ain’t got one and I ain’t her brother for real anyway.” He kissed her again. “I always wanted a dark-skinned little girl that looked just like me, and look at God.” Ezra’s tone was loud and humorous. “He sent the good writing ass new girl to my class.”
More laughs came as Cannon stared at Ezra with stars in her eyes. It was funny how she’d gone from not liking him to feeling like she loved him within minutes. She was more than positive it was the way he’d taken a liking to Yara, but it was there nonetheless, and she liked it. Only time would tell if her feelings would continue.
8
I just want to say you’re mine
The later it got, the more nervous Ezra got. Every time Cannon looked at the time on her cellphone, he held his breath. He was enjoying her too much to leave. He was sure he was going to have to be gone by the time her mama got home anyway, but he still wasn’t ready.
“You said your mama work at an insurance company?” Ezra asked Cannon as he pulled her hair out of her ponytail.
“Yeah.” She told him without moving.
They were in her room lying on the bed watching TV. Yara had been asleep for a while, so they’d put her in her little crib and cuddled up next to one another. Cannon’s hair had been tied back into a ponytail, but Ezra had been wanting to pull it free all day. Especially once she lay on his chest. He had a thing for massaging women’s scalps. It was relaxing to him in a weird way, and depending on the woman, could be used as a form of foreplay, and he was all for that.
“Well, where she at? I know ain’t no insurance company open this late.” Ezra stopped rubbing her head for a minute and looked down into her face. “I hate to tell you this, but your mama is selling ass.”
Cannon pinched his knee in between giggles. “No, she is not, fool. She has two jobs. She goes to the insurance company during the day
, and works at the hotel overnight. I think she did it to keep herself away from the house. When she’s here she’s sad, so she spends as much time away from us as she can.”
“You be here by yourself every night?”
Cannon nodded.
“Oh, I’m about to be spending the night over here all the time.”
Cannon turned her head and looked at him with a smile on her face. “Who told you that?”
“Me. I need to be here with my baby and baby mama. Y’all don’t need to be here by y’all selves like this. Anything could happen.”
“And what you gon’ do to stop it?”
Ezra looked down at her face and smiled. The light brown freckles on her face matched the color of her eyes, while her pink lips and the light brown mole on her left cheek added to the beauty of it all. She had a round face with round eyes to match, and judging from the picture of Karina on her wall, that was something they got from her, because the baby’s eyes were round just like Cannon’s.
The blonde-colored hair spread across his chest was a good choice in hair color for Cannon too, because it meshed well with her skin color and features.
Ezra fixed her crooked glasses before answering her. “Don’t let my handsome face fool you. I know I’m fine and stuff, but I’m cold in the streets and my hands so certified I should have snapped your neck for even trying me like that.”
When Cannon’s face curved from her smile, Ezra’s heart raced. She was too pretty to be as self-conscious as she was.
“I’m for real while you’re laughing. I should have folded your ass up by now. You been talking slick since I got here. I’m showing you way more mercy than I should.”
“Mercy?” Cannon sat up so that she was facing him. With her legs folded beneath her, he was able to really enjoy her thickness. It spread out wider, making him lick his lips. “You ain’t got to show me no mercy. I’ll beat your ass, Ezra.”
Ezra tore his eyes from her wide hips and juicy thighs to look at her. Her tone was too much not to be addressed.
“Stand up and say that again.”
Cannon moved backwards off her bed and stood up with her hands resting on her hips. Ezra twisted his mouth to the side to keep from drooling like a dog in heat. When he told her he loved thick women, he wasn’t lying and she was that in such a gorgeous way.
The spandex shorts she was wearing cut across her thighs highlighting the sporadic dents that rested in her legs easily. He took in the way her thighs touched slightly even with her legs spread apart. Cannon was crack and didn’t even know it. Ezra could feel himself getting addicted and he’d only been indulging in her for a few hours. He was going to be a full-out fiend by the time he got done with her.
Though he’d been halted by some bad ass skinny girls, thick girls had his heart. All the women in his family were thick, from his grandma to his mama and sisters, and he loved them like no other which was probably why his wife would be juicy too. For now, he’d start with his soon-to-be girlfriend, Cannon. She was thick all the way to her ankles, and pretty as fucking hell.
“Don’t stare, get up.”
Ezra looked at her bright smiling face and hopped from the bed before she had a chance to defend herself. He snatched her up in his grasp quicker than she could stop him, and squeezed her whole body to his. Her chest was against his with both of her hands being held behind her back with one of his. Exerting more force, Ezra grabbed the back of her neck and held her backwards.
A lot taller than her, Ezra stared down in her face with his face only inches from hers. He didn’t say anything as she stared at him, instead he ran his nose along the nape of her neck up to her ear, and over to her mouth. He could feel her breathing changing as he hovered in her face. Without releasing her, Ezra ran his mouth over hers softly. Not kissing her, just allowing their mouths to touch.
“You quiet, ain’t you?”
Cannon didn’t say anything, just swallowed and shuffled her feet a little.
“Don’t get shy now, mama, talk your shit.”
Cannon blinked a few times but didn’t say anything.
“You ain’t talking?”
“What you want me to say?”
His mouth was still so close to hers that whenever either of them said anything, their lips touched.
“Tell me you want to be my girlfriend.”
Her radiance grew as she smiled.
“Nah, you got a lot of them already.” She wiggled her arms and he let her hands go, but kept his hand on her neck so that she wouldn’t move.
“No, I don’t.”
Cannon sucked her teeth. “The girls at our school love you. I be seeing them.”
Cannon rolled her eyes, and Ezra smiled. He liked that she didn’t like his groupies. That let him know that no matter what her mouth said, she liked him too.
“Well, I don’t. I only be seeing you.”
When she blushed, Ezra went ahead and stole the kiss he’d been playing around with, before going back to his spot on her bed. He lay back and looked at her as she stood there obviously not knowing what to do. He extended one hand out to her, she took it and lay back down with him. Naturally, his hand went to her round backside. With a handful of her soft curves, he pulled her closer to him. She came with no objections.
“You don’t have no man back home?”
“Nah,” her voice was low which took his mind back to the picture that was on her wall.
Despite every restraint he’d been placing on himself all night, Ezra showed his vulnerability. “Who is the boy on your picture with you? I assumed the old man is your daddy and the lady is your mama because you look like her twin sister, but who’s the boy? I can tell it ain’t your brother because of the way y’all posed.”
He could feel the discomfort in her hesitation and movement, but he held firm in his question. As much as he hadn’t wanted to ask it, it was out now and he wanted an answer. So, what if she knew he was feeling her, she needed to know. He wasn’t a dude that could hide his feelings for long anyway, so she’d find out one way or the other.
“That’s Matt.”
Ezra remained quiet because if she thought that was going to be enough for him, she was sadly mistaken. When she didn’t offer anymore, he gave her butt a light squeeze.
“And?”
“He’s my old boyfriend.”
“If he’s old why is his picture in your new house? You still with him?”
She bit her lip and picked pieces of lint from his shirt. It felt good to feel her nails grazing his stomach lightly, but he still wanted an answer. Ezra sat up and looked at her. The look on her face let him know she didn’t appreciate the change in their positioning, but she didn’t say anything about it. Ezra almost dared her to when she was sitting there acting like she couldn’t talk.
“Cannon?”
“What?” She yelled a little too loud for his liking.
“If he got you yelling and shit, you ain’t got to tell me nothing. I don’t even want to know no more.” Ezra stood from the bed and grabbed his phone and keys from the dresser.
“You’re about to leave?”
“Yeah, it’s getting late, and clearly you don’t feel like talking no more so I’ma go home.”
Cannon turned so that her legs were hanging over the side of the bed. “You’re really going to sit here and get mad like that?”
Now it was Ezra’s turn to be quiet. He stuffed his phone in his pocket and walked over to Yara’s bed. He kissed her head and turned toward Cannon.
“Come lock the door.”
“Ezra, really?”
“Yeah, really. If I wanted to have a one-sided conversation I’d talk to your baby sister.”
Ezra knew he might have been going a little hard on her, but he was serious. He was too old for stupid stuff. He got too irritated too fast to be playing with Cannon. She might have been used to that from other boys their age, but he wasn’t like them. Never had been. He’d been mature his whole life because of Nuke. He spent so much tim
e with his big brother, he was always more advanced than his friends.
“I told you he’s my old boyfriend.”
“I heard you when you said it the first time.”
Cannon looked at him with an annoyed look before shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes at him. Ezra didn’t like that little stunt at all. One thing he didn’t tolerate was women that didn’t value his presence. Not in an arrogant way, he just didn’t like it. It felt too disrespectful.
“I’m out.” He turned and left her room.
He could hear her following him down the hallway. He wanted to turn around and ask her again to give her a chance to answer him, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t beg her. She was cool and all, but she was new. It wasn’t like he knew her too good to cut her off. They were fresh, he could ignore her and keep it moving if that’s how she wanted to play it.
“Lock the door.”
He heard her teeth suck behind him. “What you think I’m standing here for?”
Ezra was glad his back was to her, because that smart remark had caught him completely off guard. “Oh yeah, it’s time for me to get up out of here before I knock your ass out for real.” Ezra wasted no more time snatching the door open and walking out.
He didn’t look back, pass go, or collect two hundred dollars on his way to his truck. He hopped in and fumbled around with his phone and the car charger until he watched her go inside. Once he was sure she was in the house safely, he drove away.
With his rising anger getting the best of him. Ezra drove to the nearest gas station and bought a Black & Mild. He needed to do something to calm him down, because he was way too riled up over a girl he barely even knew and her business with her old nigga.
Once he had his Black and was back in the truck, he drove home. When he pulled into the parking lot of his house, he sat in the truck smoking until he was cool. When he was straight he got out and let himself in the house. It was late into the night so he was sure his whole house was asleep, so he tried to be as quiet as possible when he went in.