Undesired Lust

by Eden Summers

  “Seriously? You really think you could take me?”

  Nope. But Mason had a shit-load of energy to disperse, and maybe a little pain would take his mind away from the need to see Sidney tonight. The punch to the gut had worked, somewhat temporarily, in Richmond.

  “Let’s see, little drummer boy.” Mason beckoned Sean forward, still grinning, still unable to wipe the awesome from his face. They’d been talking smack for over an hour, ever since he ended the call with Sidney. “Unless you’re scared.”

  “Practically soiling myself.” Sean turned off the recording and placed the phone down on the table. “Have at it, choir boy.”

  Shit just got real.

  Mason cocked a brow, taking a step forward, narrowing his gaze. “You sure you’ve—”

  His own cell began to ring from the other side of the room, the sultry tune he’d assigned to Sidney’s number filtering into his ears. His gaze flew to the sofa, then back to Sean, and they both ran, diving for the cushions and toppling to the plush carpet beneath. The phone fumbled through his fingers as Sean lightly slapped his face, over and over, trying to distract him from the Holy Grail.

  “Get off me, bro.” He grunted against the weight crushing his spine. “No means no.”

  He rushed to connect the call, placing it at his ear while he panted into the receiver. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “Motherfucker, get your elbow out of my ass!” He shouldered his phone to his ear and crawled away from Sean. “Sorry, kitten.”

  “No…problem.”

  He sat up straight at the lack of humor in her tone. “Did you change your mind about catching up for coffee?”

  “Umm.” She paused, the heavy noise of downtown traffic filtering through the line. “Actually, I had a fight with Justin and needed someone to speak to.”

  He stood, raking a hand through his hair. He’d never met Justin and already he had the urge to teach him a lesson about respecting a beautiful woman. “Are you OK?”

  “I’m fine. I just…I started walking to clear my mind. I’ve been lost for so long I suppose I needed the time to think.”

  “And?” He was on edge, worried about her walking the streets at dusk, and more than a little relieved she’d called him in a moment of need.

  “I kept walking, with no thought to where I was going—”

  “Kitten, where are you?”

  Another pause, another heavy car horn in the distance. The sound drifted through his cell, and he was almost certain he heard the faint echo through the open kitchen window, barely registering over the music playing on his iPod. His chest tightened, the same vulnerable way it always did around Sidney. The remembered moments of pleasured pain had increased while he’d been alone in Richmond. Every time he thought of her something inside him shifted. His mind reacted. His body too. And not just in an I-want-to-get-laid kind of way.

  “I’m out in front of your building. Are you home?”

  Hell to the yes. He pointed a finger at Sean. “Get out.”

  Sean frowned, moving to his knees.

  “Excuse me?” Sidney asked.

  “I was talking to Sean.”

  Her brief chuckle warmed him. “Do not kick him out.”

  “Well, you’d want to hurry and get up here. Tell the concierge to give you a temporary security pass for the elevator. He can call me if he needs to clarify.”

  “Thanks.”

  Another call with Sidney ended, and another huge grin pulled at his cheeks.

  “Bro,” Sean muttered. “A word to the wise, you need to control that joker expression. It’s freaking me the fuck out.”

  ***

  SIDNEY STOOD AT his door, waiting, she wasn’t sure what for—a backbone, maybe. Her heart was pounding, an affirming sign she wanted to believe sprang from faith, not stupidity. Justin’s attempt to drag her down had been hard to face. She had been weak and frail and worthless, but she’d changed over the past weeks. His inability to recognize that stung like hell.

  The worst was over. The world couldn’t throw anything at her that she hadn’t already been through. Lies, deceit, humiliation, rejection. She’d faced it all, and although she spent most of her time hiding behind the shield of her assistant, she still survived.

  “How long are you going to stand there?” Mason called from inside the apartment.

  Oh, fuck. She laughed, plastering a hand over her eyes.

  The door scraped softly against the carpet as it opened, pushing her heart into her throat.

  “Hi,” a familiar voice murmured.

  She dropped her hand, and swallowed over the heat already burning in Mason’s eyes. “You know, that’s the third time you’ve said that to me today.”

  He stepped closer, his gaze devouring every inch of her face, cherishing her. “I’m restraining myself. I could’ve called you ‘kitten’ or ‘wildcat’ just to see the way your eyes light up. Or maybe greeted you with a kiss, because I’m dying to taste you again.” His focus hovered on her lips. “But I didn’t, so, give me a gold star for trying hard not to spook you.”

  “Why?” she whispered. “You’ve never restrained yourself before.” She needed another emotional declaration to finally convince her how lucky she was to have him. One more word to stop her second guessing what the future could hold.

  “Are you kidding me?” He stepped closer, absently brushing her loose hair behind her ear. “I’m always restrained around you. Even more so now because you were pretty freaked out in Richmond. I know you overheard what I said in Sean’s kitchen. I admitted loving you.” One side of his lips lifted in a hesitant smile. “I still do. And if that means putting myself on a leash for a while, so be it.”

  Her cheeks heated, then her limbs, and finally her heart. “Mason Lynch on a leash?” she murmured. “I don’t believe it.”

  The smile turned into a grin, devilish and wicked. “I didn’t say it was permanent. I’m lulling you into a false sense of security, just waiting until I win you over. Then all the fun and games start.”

  She chuckled, taking the time to enjoy the happiness engulfing her and the soft touch of his finger drifting along her jaw. “That sounds nice.”

  He released a deep exhale, his shoulders straightening as his features lost their humor. “I hope so. You’re all I think about.”

  Another blush. Another sense of overwhelming happiness that pushed her onto the tips of her toes to brush her lips against his. It wasn’t a promise of commitment. Her kiss was a pledge to try. She wanted this to work, and hopefully she now had the strength to cling to the possibility of happiness.

  “Come on.” He took her hand and jerked his head toward his apartment. “The leash won’t hold much longer if you keep doing that.”

  A grin split her face as they walked past the threshold, along plush carpet her heels sunk into, until they reached an open lounge, dining, and kitchen area. The gentle beat of music drifted toward her, stealing her attention and bringing her face to face with Sean sitting on a sofa with an iPod in his hand.

  “Hey, Sid.” He pushed to his feet and strode toward her. “How are you?” He kissed her temple, empowering her all over again with his affection, making her realize she wasn’t alone.

  “You know,” Mason muttered, “you can greet her without gettin’ grabby.”

  Sidney bit her lip, engulfed with the sensation of belonging. This was where she needed to be. No matter if the harsh reality of the paparazzi came knocking at her door, or the risk of public humiliation began to compound with every new sunrise. This feeling, right now, the one warming her chest and tickling her belly, was worth it. Mason was worth it.

  “I’m great, thanks, Sean.” For once she really meant those words. Even with Justin’s ire hanging over her head, she felt perfect. Almost completely free of the weakness she’d been harboring for so long.

  “And you have perfect timing,” he offered, turning toward the sofa. “We’re going over the few tracks we recorded today.”

  “Tr
acks? You’ve already started recording?” She glanced from Mason to Sean and back again.

  “Turn it off,” Mason grumbled, holding out a hand for the iPod Sean placed on the coffee table.

  “No. Please.” She stepped toward Sean and focused on the sound of Mason’s unmistakable voice coming from the device. The backing track wasn’t their typical sound. It was softer, less rock, more soul, and without hearing the lyrics she could tell it would be a hit. “Can I listen?”

  “Turn it off,” Mason warned.

  Sean handed her the iPod and shrugged. “Oops.”

  The weight in her hand was heavier than it should be. More emotionally charged. And when she looked at Mason, she knew why. There was something he didn’t want her to hear in his music. “You don’t want me to listen?”

  Hope began to fade with the tightness of his expression. His lips were thin, his gaze focused on hers without warmth. He opened his mouth, and then snapped it closed.

  “Here.” She held the iPod out to him, ignoring the sound emanating from the device. The volume was too low to make out the lyrics, so whatever he wanted to hide had remained a secret. “I didn’t mean to pry.” She smiled, ignoring the ache of disappointment. “It was inconsiderate of me to show up without warning anyway. I’ll leave you both to get your work done. We can catch up another day.” She stepped away from the sofa, her gaze remaining on Mason as he played with the iPod.

  “Don’t leave.” Sean glared at Mason. “Why can’t she listen to her own lyrics?”

  “My own lyrics,” she repeated in a low voice. “I didn’t—”

  “There are only two tracks, and they’re entirely raw and unpolished.” Mason’s voice was brutal, heavy with emotion. “I don’t want you to hear them until they’re perfect.”

  Sidney frowned. “I’m still stuck on the ‘own lyrics’ comment.”

  Mason’s throat convulsed. He wasn’t a nervous guy, yet the man before her was stalling, buying time and hiding something from her.

  “What’s the big issue?” Sean came up behind her, his large frame hovering over her shoulder. “Let her listen to her own damn song.”

  “They’re not my songs,” she murmured, still trying to decipher what the nervousness in Mason’s features meant. “I haven’t signed a collaboration contract.” She hadn’t contributed to anything specific in Richmond. The limited time spent in the studio hadn’t come up with anything definitive. It was all useless garble, maybe a good line here or there, but nothing to base an entire track on.

  “I told Leah I’d get the paperwork to you.”

  “I don’t understand.” The only thing she could think of was that he’d stolen one of her song concepts. She’d had notepads of ideas with her in Richmond. Had he gone through them when he packed her belongings, taking the liberty to bring one of her creations to life? “Mason, what have you done?”

  Her palms began to sweat as he focused on the iPod in his hand, playing with the buttons before holding it out to her. “Just listen.”

  She didn’t want to. Her instincts were telling her to flee. Something in the tiny little device was going to rock her foundations, and she didn’t want to ruin the independence she’d reclaimed.

  Stop hiding. Be strong.

  “Thanks.” She grasped the iPod, ignoring how his fingers lingered around her wrist.

  The melodic sound of a lead guitar filtered from her hand, followed by the familiar bass and rhythm of Blake and Ryan’s instruments. When drumbeat entered the fray, it was soft, gentle, accompanying the soothing melody instead of the typical rock beat.

  Mason’s voice gave her goose bumps, but it was the words he sang that made her shuffle to the side and slump against the back of the sofa.

  Casanova died long ago. Now all I want is you.

  The days are dark, the nights unending, all because of what I put you through.

  I live for your love. I want your soul.

  Don’t leave me hanging, out of control.

  “These aren’t mine,” she whispered, meeting Mason’s potent focus. His gaze held her captive, she could barely breathe. “I don’t know this song.”

  Lothario is broken. Romeo has died.

  One woman changed me. And stole my pride.

  I’ll stay here, kneeling before her, praying for her love.

  Because nothing else matters, if I can’t claim what I’m deprived of.

  “M-mason. I didn’t contribute to this song.”

  “Yes, you did.” He nodded, inching closer. “The song wouldn’t exist without you, and the contracts are already written.” He shrugged, as if this moment wasn’t the most monumental of her life. “A fifty-fifty share on the authorship and ownership of this collaboration is yours. I’ve already signed my part.”

  She shook her head, pressing pause on the iPod. “Why?” She hadn’t given any creative influence to the song. Was this pity? Remorse?

  “You know why.”

  No, she didn’t. A glimpse of optimism had her wishing for a specific outcome, but it seemed too good to be true. The song was beautiful—heart-wrenching, the emotion palpable, the love heady. His soul poured from the lyrics, flittering into her chest and clenching tight.

  Her eyes began to burn, and she sucked in a breath to calm herself. She couldn’t take ownership of this song. It was too much.

  “Don’t cry.” Mason closed the distance between them, pulling her into the hardness of his chest. “This whole leash thing doesn’t work if you cry.”

  She released a burst of air—part laugh, part sob. “You know I can’t sign the contract.”

  He squeezed her tighter. “It’s non-negotiable. Either you sign or the song doesn’t go public.”

  Pushing back from his chest, she made eye contact. He was serious, without an ounce of exaggeration in his features. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say ‘this song is fucking awesome,’” Sean interrupted. “And the drums are the best part.”

  Mason rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something when her cell began to ring in her coat pocket. “Sorry,” she mouthed, sliding back from his embrace. She stuck the iPod into her pants pocket for later, not willing to let go of her opportunity to listen to it again, and retrieved the phone from her jacket.

  Justin. His name spread across the screen, and for the first time she didn’t feel relieved to see it. Usually, he was the first person she went to with good news. Now, she didn’t want him marring her happiness.

  They needed space. Being with Mason and Sean reaffirmed that. If she’d listened to Justin and rejected the new collaboration opportunity with Reckless Beat, her life would still be stuck in the dead-end, no-hope path.

  She answered the call and placed the phone at her ear. “We need to talk.”

  “Where are you?” His question was accusatory, making the skin at the back of her neck prickle.

  “I closed the office early and decided to go for a walk.”

  “That’s not what I asked. But don’t worry, I already know where you are. I do have one more question, though. Are you hiding where you are because you’re ashamed? Or did you want to conceal it from me specifically?”

  Sidney met Mason’s gaze and gave an apologetic wince before walking to the hall for privacy. “I’m not ashamed of anything, and the reason I’m keeping things to myself is because you need to get a grip. You’re irrational.”

  “I can’t fucking believe you!”

  Her heart began to hammer against her ribs. He was scaring her, and poking her anger at the same time. She hadn’t come this far with her determination to be strong, to be thrust back into insecurities because of the hang-ups Justin couldn’t let go of. “We’ve discussed this. You need to quit the protective act. Take some time off. Don’t come back to work until Monday.”

  “Irrational? Fucking irrational?” He scoffed into the line. “You ran to him. Him, Sid. We have one fight, and the first thing you do is run to the guy you know I hate.”

  Sidney frowned. “How
do you know where I am?” She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

  “I’ve always known,” he spat. “For over two years, I’ve looked out for you, every second of the damn day. You haven’t gone anywhere without me knowing where you were.”

  Her shoulders hit the hallway wall, her mouth drying. She shook her head, hoping she’d misunderstood. She clung tight to her phone, her palm sweating as she tried to calm the urge to jump to conclusions.

  “Sid?” Mason came to her side, lifting her chin with a delicate finger. “What’s wrong?”

  She met his gaze, protected by the concern in his eyes. She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to think. “How do you know where I am, Justin?”

  She continued to focus on the dark irises before her, growing empowered every second by the warmth reflected in them. She’d relied on Justin for so long. She’d trusted him with her life, never doubting his sincerity. Now, her skin crawled with the possibilities of what he done in the name of protection.

  “That’s not the point,” he grated. “The point is that I’ve spent every minute of my life watching out for you, and you’re throwing it back in my face.” He began to pant, his words becoming breathy. He was walking, maybe running, and Sidney prayed it wasn’t in her direction.

  “You’re monitoring my phone?” Her voice hitched. This was her best friend. The man she’d entrusted with her life. What had he done?

  Mason frowned, his focus intent on her. She reached for him with her free hand, squeezing his fingers, loving that he squeezed back as bile rose in her throat.

  “It’s my job to look out for you. And as per the terms of the cell contract, it is actually my phone. You wanted to hide when the scandal hit, so I did what you asked and changed all your phone numbers and email addresses. You were in the middle of a nervous breakdown, too hung up on what happened to sign the paperwork associated with a new number. So even though you pay the bill, it is actually my phone. My contract. My right to track the device.”

  All the air left her lungs on a shudder. The cell began to slip from her hand, and she fumbled to catch it, ending the call before she let if fall to the floor.