“But in your gut, you knew.”
“There were credit card receipts. I found them one morning after he’d stayed over. And there was a strange number on the back of one of his cards. On top of that, the way he was acting was just . . . dodgy. You develop this special radar being a teacher. You know when the boys at the back of the class are being dodgy, thinking they’re acting cool and getting away with something when they’re not.”
“You mean we’re not as smooth as we think we are?” Andy asked in mock dismay.
“Not in high school and not afterward either,” she said with a thin laugh. Then she sighed. “I guess I didn’t really want to know the ugly truth. I wanted to be talked out of it. So I let him.”
“Tessa—”
“You have to know that it wasn’t all bad. Graham wasn’t some evil douche bag. I was busy, too, for nine months out of the year with school. At those times when we got to see each other, it was good—”
“Tessa.” Andy repeated her name louder this time, cutting through the monologue. “It’s okay,” he said once he had her attention. “You don’t have to justify it.”
She had been trying for too long to reason things away. It was time to stop fighting this battle within herself, one that could never be won. Exhaling slowly, she turned to him. “Can I use your phone?”
Andy handed it over without a word and even moved away to give her some space. He stopped just out of earshot, looking at the surrounding hills as if standing guard.
Her heart thudded as she keyed in Graham’s number.
“Hello?”
Graham’s voice sounded both familiar and alien to her and a sick pit formed in her stomach. She knew she waited too long before replying.
“Hi. It’s me.”
“Tessa.”
She deserved his coldness. “I didn’t mean for it to happen this way.”
“Yeah? Because this is pretty fucked up, Tessa.”
He said it too calmly. She could imagine him in his tuxedo, hair perfectly slicked back. This was Graham, in control, trying to turn the situation to his advantage.
“I’m so sorry.” She thought she saw Andy perk up at her apology. “I should have said something sooner.”
“Do you know how bad this looks? What were you thinking?”
He sounded muted, as if he wasn’t alone and needed to control the volume, but even smooth-talking Graham couldn’t keep the rising anger from his voice.
She felt like a jerk for doing this over the phone instead of in person, but perhaps it was fitting. Their relationship had always seemed one step removed in so many ways between their jobs, the constant exchange of e-mails and voice messages. When she’d seen the signs of a possible affair, she wanted to believe the best about Graham, not the worst. Tessa had brushed the problem away as being her own demons inside that she would just have to deal with on her own.
Whenever they were together, Graham made her happy, didn’t he? But for all his smooth-talking, Graham hadn’t been able to completely convince her.
Andy was right. Even though she didn’t show her disappointment, it remained there inside of her. She had put a flimsy Band-Aid over the cut, patching over her suspicions about Graham in hopes they would somehow disappear. But all this time the wound was festering.
For a long moment, Tessa just held the phone to her ear, listening to the sound of Graham breathing on the other line. Someone in the background was asking him if it was her.
She could handle angry teenagers and irate parents. Even senior administrators and egotistical colleagues trying to intimidate her. Why was this so much harder?
“Well, Tessa?” her ex-fiancé prompted.
This was harder because she wasn’t advocating on behalf of her students. She had to stand up for herself.
“Graham, did you cheat on me a month ago?”
“Fuck—”
She heard him exhale sharply, agitated. She felt sick and hollow inside, but this was it. No more hiding.
In the pause, she found her strength. This time she would not be coaxed or charmed. “Graham?”
“What did that bastard say to you?”
Her stomach plummeted. This wasn’t denial like before. She had definitely hit on something.
A chilling calm came over her. “What bastard would that be?”
“I told Blake to mind his own business. That I’d take care of it.”
“Blake.”
She let that single name sink in while her grip tightened on Andy’s phone. Blake was Graham’s best man and best friend.
“So Blake knows.”
“Tessa, can we not talk about this over the phone?”
“You screwed up, Graham.” She fought hard not to cry. The truth still hurt. “Were you ever going to say anything? Or were you happy thinking that you had gotten away with it?”
“Look, that bitch doesn’t mean anything—”
Tessa hit the button to end the call. She had heard all she needed to hear.
That bitch. There was a woman. Someone very real and very present. Blake was a bastard and the woman he’d cheated on her with was a bitch. Tessa knew what would come next. Graham would start working things around, making up reasons. He had the answers for everything, nothing was ever his fault and even if it was, wasn’t he so good to her that it didn’t matter?
Graham didn’t have to be right, he just made it so he was never wrong. Why had she never seen that about him? He was a moving target. She would ask him a question and instead of answering, he would just argue the validity of the question. How she phrased it wrong or how the context wasn’t right or how it depended on too many different factors.
Bullshit. She didn’t need to explain herself to him, and hell, he didn’t have to explain anything to her anymore. Tessa sat there feeling hollow and betrayed and stupid for letting it go on, but at last she was certain she’d made the right choice.
Several minutes passed before Andy approached. He stood beside her as she stared at the phone in her lap.
“You okay?”
For the last month, that same question had put her on the defensive and now she knew why.
“I’m okay. I really am.”
This time, she meant it.
He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Good.”
When she looked up at him, he wasn’t pitying or worried. He didn’t look uncomfortable for being stuck in this situation or anxious as he struggled for the right thing to say. He was just Andy; the right guy at the right time when she needed a friend.
She smiled at him. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”
“Okay.”
Chapter Six
Andy waited outside while Tessa changed in the back of the catering van. She had complained about not being able to stay in that dress another minute and he silently agreed considering she was gorgeous in it. It was all kinds of wrong to keep on ogling a woman in her wedding dress when it wasn’t his bride or his wedding.
He lent Tessa his chef’s jacket which he realized was a mistake the moment she emerged from the van wearing it. The jacket was oversized on her, ending down past her waist but above her knees. This meant that he was given a tantalizing flash of the lace that lined the top of her white stockings when she stepped down from the van.
His throat went completely dry and his brain shriveled to the size of a walnut. The gentlemanly thing to do would have been to help her down, but instead his lizard brain was processing the fact that those barely there stockings ended at her thighs and right above that was bare creamy skin that he could just glimpse through the lace.
He was going to hell for kissing her and he was already starting to burn now.
“I feel much better,” she said with a sigh, running a hand through her curls and plucking out a few more pins. Her heels were hooked carelessly around her finger. Down below, the blue of her toes
peeked out at him. She looked wild and disheveled and available.
No, not available, he had to remind himself. The appetizers weren’t even cold yet. Granted, that was because they were sealed away in warmers, but it was just too soon. Even an idiot could tell him that.
How soon is now? How late is never?
“Damn,” he muttered beneath his breath.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
It was best he shut up and get in the van. He did just that and they were off again. Tessa curled up on the passenger seat and rolled down the window to catch the wind against her face. She closed her eyes and the glow of the setting sun washed over her.
He wasn’t wrong about this. Something pinged inside him just looking at her. Tessa looked more relaxed than she had all day. He, on the other hand, was wound up tight enough to snap.
“Do you know when I was little, I used to think that if a guy asked a girl to marry him, he had to go through the whole ceremony, invite guests and get all dressed up and everything?” she mused. “At the end of it all, the priest would finally ask her if she would take this man to be her lawfully wedded husband and only then would he know the answer.”
“That’s a bum deal if I’ve ever seen one.”
“I guess I had only seen weddings on TV, mostly on soaps that my mother would watch. In those, it seemed pretty fifty-fifty in terms of whether the bride would go through with it and say ‘I do’ or not.”
He chuckled at that. It was kind of adorable. “Just imagine the wedding business if that were true.”
“It would boom. All the photographers, bands, wedding planners would see business double, even triple.”
“Caterers, too,” he added gamely.
“Right but then, think of the downside.” Tessa turned serious. “All that extra hassle. Poor schmucks being left at the altar again and again. Couples needing counseling. And wedding dresses can’t be returned.”
“Or wedding rings,” he added, playfully. The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted it.
“Oh fiddlesticks.” Tessa stared down at the engagement ring on her finger.
“Don’t worry about it. He’s a jerk, right?”
And what exactly was he, bad-mouthing a girl’s ex-fiancé on her wedding day?
“I’m not worried about it.” She slipped the ring from her finger and it disappeared somewhere. Probably into one of the pockets in his jacket.
Timing was everything, as they said, and timing pretty much sucked here.
Damn it, he liked Tessa. He more than liked her. His chest had started throbbing like someone was punching him from inside even before he kissed her, and now that he’d done that, he was a goner.
This girl was special. Every cell in his body was shouting it at him. Someone like Tessa didn’t come along for guys like him and if he didn’t do something about it, he’d have to slap himself in the face every day for the rest of his life.
“Hey.”
It came out surlier than he intended and Tessa looked a little startled when she turned to him.
“I know this is not a great time and I’m not phrasing it as a question because I know you can’t answer. I don’t want to pressure you into saying yes or no, so just don’t answer this, all right?”
Just say it. Just fucking say it.
“If you’re free in a couple months, I’d like to take you out.”
That certainly came out a lot rougher than he meant it. He sounded downright pissed. Andy supposed he was pissed; at himself. At fate. At the “rules,” whatever they were. He didn’t know much about it except for rules existed and women seemed to know more about them than men. From what he could see, the rules had something to do with being damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
“You know, if you’re not married already,” he added.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tessa break into a smile. He had to remind himself once again: timing. His time would come someday, just not today.
Story of his life.
Chapter Seven
Andy navigated a winding path down the hill while Tessa was cocooned away in his chef’s jacket in the passenger seat. It was surprisingly comfortable, smelling of aftershave and soap. Smelling like Andy had as he kissed her there in the wild grass.
She watched him now in the fading daylight. He was left in a black T-shirt and slacks, both of which fitted rather well on him. There was an adage about never trusting a skinny chef; Andy wasn’t skinny, rather he was built in all the right places and she was left wondering with butterflies in her stomach if Andy was truly serious about what he’d said.
Imagine that. Over summer break she’d managed to break her engagement and line up her next date. And he was cute, too. Extra credit for the schoolteacher.
She shouldn’t think about dating at a time like this. Wasn’t she supposed to be in mourning or something? On timeout. Stuck in the penalty box. She was an awful, awful person for even thinking of moving on so quickly.
And that was when she caught herself. She was taking on the blame again. Shouldering all the responsibility when it took two to make a relationship stick. And Graham hadn’t stuck with her, even when he’d put his ring on her finger. She was relieved to no longer be wearing it and she sure as heck was going to stop feeling guilty. This wedding had been doomed from the start, but better one wedding day than her entire marriage.
By the time they reached the bottom of the hill, the sky was getting dark and the first stars were beginning to show.
“You know, that’s actually Venus,” Tessa said.
“Hmm?”
Andy kept the wheel steady as his gaze followed her finger to the glowing dot above the horizon.
“The evening star, it’s actually a planet. Venus. There’s a science teacher down the hall from me. A brilliant guy. He comes by and shares these random facts once in a while. I have no idea where they come from.”
“Maybe he’s trying to flirt with you.”
“Nah.”
“I bet that’s exactly what he’s doing. Finding excuses to make conversation.”
Kind of like what she was doing right now. Tessa blushed. “Well, Kenji is sweet, but he’s not my type.”
“Type?” Andy raised his eyes with great interest.
“He’s a teacher for one. I have a rule not to date fellow teachers. If something were to go wrong, it’s impossible to avoid one another. You have to pass each other in the hall every day and avoid making eye contact. Then the students start heckling you because they can sense something’s up. It’s like high school all over again.”
“You speaking from experience?”
“No, just common sense.”
Funny how it felt so normal talking about dating and relationships now. Like the door was truly shut on that part of her life when that morning she had thought she was going to be married.
“So where to, my lady?” Andy asked.
His route had taken them clear of Briarwood while keeping them away from any departing wedding guests. Her heart rate rose a notch as she pondered the question.
“How about dinner?” she ventured. “I did only have one slice of wedding cake all day.” And she wasn’t quite ready to return to reality yet.
“We’re still a good thirty minutes from any recognizable civilization, but I think we can find somewhere that will let you in looking like that.”
He grinned out of the side of his mouth and she decided she liked that expression on him. There was a lot to like about Andy.
Her pulse raced even faster. “I was thinking right here.”
“Here?” Andy let up on the gas a bit.
“Sure, like a picnic.” She swallowed as she looked over the expanse of field on either side of the road. The idea had seemed much better in her head. “We have a whole van full of food and
the stars are out . . . or at least the planets.” Her heart was thumping so loud and she was right on the verge of chickening out and saying, Never mind, ha ha! Crazy bride strikes again. “And I don’t think there are any mountain lions here,” she added instead.
Smooth.
Andy gave her an odd look and continued driving, but a moment later he pulled over onto a patch of dirt.
“Why not,” he said, turning off the engine. “You did pay for the catering.”
Andy slid out of the seat and headed to the back of the van and Tessa went to join him. The entire time, she was angsting over the fact that he’d probably changed his mind about asking her out. He’d figured she was more drama than she was worth and now she was going to die single like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations with her big dusty cake.
Right before he hopped up into the back, Andy paused and ran his palms over his pants leg. Down and back.
Her eyebrows lifted. She knew that gesture. Had seen it on plenty of her students who had crushes on some girl several desks over. Andy was nervous and playing it cool. Which made her even more nervous. A boy liked her! It really was like high school all over again.
“I think I have a tablecloth back here.”
Andy rummaged around and tossed a folded linen to her. Then he took charge of putting together two plates, picking through the warming containers and doling out helpings from various pans. After doing some fancy sweep through the sauce with the back of a spoon, he handed over the dishes. A stuffed chicken breast lay in the center on a bed of pasta incorporated with a rainbow of vegetables. The dish was finished with a ring of sauce.
“I feel like I should take a picture.”
“Oh, you’re one of those,” he said with a roll of his eyes, but it was a good-natured eye roll.
“There’s nothing wrong with food pictures.”
When he stepped down beside her, she noticed a wine bottle and two glasses in his hand. Side by side, they walked into the field. The long grass tickled against her ankles and Andy’s shoulder brushed against hers, making her heart beat even faster. What was she doing? She didn’t know, but at least she no longer felt like she was about to walk blindly off a cliff not knowing where the bottom was. This was an entirely different sort of plunge.
This Wedding is Doomed! Page 22