by Ryan, Rachel
Jeremy has invited me to spend time with him, but I have kept myself busy with work. I fear that the more time I spend with him, the more invested my heart will be and I'm just not ready for that right now.
Brody has questioned me a few times about what is happening between me and Jeremy, normally during our early morning runs. I normally try to change the subject and talk about something else. I feel like my relationship with Brody is finally getting back to where we had been before the tour started; friends. I can be myself with him and not worry that he is going to judge me. I have confided in Brody my doubts in Jeremy being able to be in a monogamous relationship and he has suggested that I give Jeremy the benefit of the doubt and give him the chance to prove himself, but I'm not sure if I can risk my heart like that.
Tori and Emma talked me into watching the second Seattle show as I haven't seen much of Seattle due to having to get these articles done. So far I haven't done a lot of work and Jennifer is going to kill me if I don't start sending in more. I've been a little distracted lately. Pushing up off the chair I walk to my bag that I brought up here with enough clothes for the three nights we'll be staying here. Pulling out a strapless emerald green dress I slip it on. It's tight and shows off all of my assets, with a pair of black high heels to complete the look. Looking into the mirror I apply some natural looking makeup and leaving my hair wavy I am ready for tonight. I'm feeling a little homesick tonight, I guess because of the rollercoaster of emotions I have been feeling over the last week. In a way I kind of wish I was back at home with my Grandma. It's going to be a strange feeling not having anyone to go home to when the tour is over. I may have to get a cat.
Jeremy
As I pace around the dressing room backstage my mind is completely on Ava. I can't understand how we went from her tearing my shirt off one minute to her completely avoiding me the next. I really thought we had something special building and I wish I hadn't drunk so much when we went out in Portland and this whole misunderstanding with the redhead wouldn't have even happened. That's totally what it is; a misunderstanding. The guys claimed that she was all over me, running her hands all over my body. I do remember her placing her hand on my chest as she whispered all of the dirty things she wanted to do to my body and to be completely honest, before I met Ava, I would have dragged that girl to the bathroom and let her do every single one of them. But now, I just cannot get Ava out of my head and I'm not ready for things between us to end there. Obviously, Ava hadn't watched the whole interaction between me and the redhead; otherwise she would have seen me push the girl away while giving her some much needed advice to have a little more self-respect.
Brody is sitting in one of the plush leather armchairs watching me with a concerned look on his face. He has been a great pal over the last couple of days. Many times I have expressed my concerns about Ava and received some advice from him. He suggested I let her cool off a little and give her a little space to gather her thoughts. Fuck, it's been hard though; so many times I have been so close to going to her and demanding an explanation. The last twenty four hours I have been walking the corridors of the hotel hoping to bump into her, but apparently she has been working around the clock and hardly left her room.
As I'm wondering whether she'll show up tonight, one of the venue staff tells us it's time to head out to the stage. Making our way down the corridor I feel the familiar rush of adrenalin as I hear the roar of the crowd. Normally there is nothing better than that feeling, but tonight it is soured by the fact that I'm missing Ava. I actually miss her. Fuck it! That's it! After the show tonight I am going to her room to explain my side of the story and hope that she will listen.
***
Tonight's show has gone really well, the crowd is huge, roughly eighteen thousand people. The atmosphere and energy from the crowd has really helped lift my mood and as we start on our last song of the show, my eyes fall on a familiar face in the front row. What the fuck? What is she doing out there? I watch her as she sways along with the crowd around her, her wavy hair falling around her shoulders as she moves her body around in time with the music. What the hell is she doing out in the crowd, she should be watching from backstage. Her eyes lift and snap straight to mine. The fact that I have picked out this girl amongst a crowd of eighteen thousand people speaks volumes about my feelings for her. Now I just need to convince her.
***
I was hoping to see Ava straight after the show, but we had been busy meeting with a group of VIP fans who had won a local radio competition allowing them passes to meet the band. So for the last hour we have been chatting and signing and posing for photos. The whole time I was just wishing I could leave to go and find her and say the words that had been running through my brain for the last two days. These poor fans probably think I am the biggest douche as I was hardly paying any attention to them.
Now as I make my way to my hotel room, my eyes on my phone checking for any messages that I may have missed, I don't notice her leaning up against my door until I'm nearly on top of her.
I stop still, unable to take any more steps as I am totally shocked that she is here.
"Hey…How…What are you doing here?"
She pushes away from the door and slowly takes a couple of hesitant steps toward me.
"I was hoping we could talk."
"Yeah sure. Do you want to come in…or go somewhere else?"
"Your room is fine."
Scanning my door card I push the door open and let her enter the room before following her in and closing the door behind me. She walks deeper into the room and quickly glances around before sitting down on one of the soft couches.
I head to the bar asking "Can I get you a drink?"
"A soda, please." Grabbing a soda for her and a beer for myself I move over to the couch opposite hers.
We sit quietly and sip at our drinks, both of us seeming unsure of what to say. I hate this awkwardness between us. There's so much I want to say to her, I can't keep it in anymore.
"Look, Ava. The guys told me you were upset with me about what happened at the bar the other night and I need to explain…"
She cuts me off there "No, Jeremy. You don't need to explain anything. You didn't do anything wrong. I really like you and we've had so much fun together over the last week. I just think we were heading too fast in a direction that neither of us is ready for, and seeing you with that other girl really made me realize that."
"Nothing happened with that girl, Ava. I told you I really like you and I want to see where this will go. I haven't had many serious relationships before, but I can see that with you."
Her brows draw together as she studies my face like she's trying to process what I just said to her. "I don't think I'm ready for that, Jeremy. I don't think my heart is ready for that."
Standing, I move over to her couch and sit down beside her reaching for her hands.
"Ava, I've missed you the last few days. I just want it to go back to the way it was between us before that night. Nothing happened with that girl. I told her I wasn't interested. I'm only interested in one girl." Leaning down so my face is level with hers "We'll take it slow, whatever you want, but please let us try."
She gazes into my eyes and suddenly nods in agreement. I can't contain my happiness as I grab hold of her shoulders and pull her to me, my mouth crashing to hers. The kiss starts frantic, but turns slower and more sensual as she raises her hands to run her fingers through my hair. Fuck, I love it when she does that. My tongue enters her mouth and tangles with hers, her taste turning me on and making my dick stir. "Fuck, I've missed you, Dundee." I murmur against her lips before sucking her bottom lip gently into my mouth. She responds with a soft moan and pulls away as she stands up.
"I think I should go, before we get too carried away." Smiling shyly, she watches me closely for a few seconds "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Standing I move toward her and place a soft kiss on her cheek. "Yeah, you bet."
She turns slowly and walks to the door,
glancing back at me just before the door closes softly behind her.
I can't help the huge smile that takes over my face.
***
The next few days pass quickly, after the third show in Seattle, we head on to Spokane for one show, which goes off without a hitch. Then we head to Bismarck in North Dakota. This is quite a long trip and I spend that time working on a new song. I have felt so many new and foreign emotions lately and channeling them into my songwriting is a great release.
Ava and I had spent our last day in Seattle together exploring the city and just being together, no pressure. It was really nice to have that time with her again. I really do enjoy just being with her, no expectations on what our relationship should be defined as or which direction we are heading in. Just being in the moment and enjoying each other's company.
Now, it's our first morning in Bismarck and I rise early, unable to sleep any longer. Glancing at my phone I see it's only 6:45am. I head to the bathroom and do my business before washing my hands and heading to the front of the bus for a drink of juice. Just as I get to the fridge, the door opens and Brody bounces up the steps with a cheesy grin on his face. He's obviously been for his regular morning jog as there's sweat beading across his forehead.
"Hey, Coops. You're up early." He sits down at the table and guzzles from his water bottle.
"Yeah, couldn't sleep. I might have to start going jogging with you in the mornings."
Brody splutters and water splashes all over the table. "Hey, easy!"
I grab a sheet of paper towel as Brody uses the back of his hand to wipe the water off his chin.
"Sorry, it went down the wrong way." Giving me a strange look "Are you serious about the jogging?"
"Maybe. Wake me before you head out tomorrow morning and I'll see if I can be bothered to drag myself out of bed."
Brody
I don't wake Jeremy the next morning. I really enjoy the morning jogs with Ava and call me selfish, but I really don't want Jeremy coming along. That sounds crazy, I know. They are developing some kind of relationship and are spending more time together again, but mornings are my time with Ava and I don't want him imposing on that. Fuck I sound like an ass. But as I quietly climb down the steps of the bus I don't care.
Glancing toward Ava's bus, I see her stretching and make my way toward her. Just as I'm about to greet her, I hear a voice behind me that makes me stop dead in my tracks.
"Hey, Brody! Why didn't you wake me?" He's rubbing his tired eyes as he reaches my side and then the sleepy smile falls from his face. "Ava! What are you doing here?"
Ava seems to avoid Jeremy's eyes as she says softly "Going running."
Jeremy looks confused "With Brody? You're going jogging with Brody? Is this the first time you've gone together?"
I glance at Ava and when I realize she isn't going to answer, I reply "We've actually been jogging together a few times."
Ava lifts her eyes to Jeremy's and seems to be waiting for a reaction. Jeremy is quiet for a few seconds then turns to me "How many times?"
Without hesitation I reply "Since Portland."
Jeremy looks very shocked and frowns slightly as he looks back at Ava "You never mentioned that. Did you not want me to know?"
Shaking her head "No, it's not that I didn't want you to know, it just didn't seem important."
I know she didn't mean anything by that last statement, but it kind of hurt hearing her say it wasn't important. Our morning runs are my favorite part of the day.
"It's no big deal, Jeremy. I discovered Ava was running in the mornings by herself so I offered to run with her so it's safer. You know… strange cities and all…"
Jeremy looks back and forth between us before nodding his head. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks for looking out for my girl. Uh…I'm going to…I think I might pass on the run and go get coffee instead. Have fun." With an awkward smile, Jeremy turns and heads back in the direction he came from and disappears back onto the bus.
Chapter 16
Jeremy
For the last two days I have stressed myself worrying about the whole jogging incident and what it possibly meant. When I walked away from Ava and Brody that morning neither of them had followed me, so I sat on the bus and sulked for an hour, my mind once again questioning the relationship between my best friend and my girl. Has their friendship developed into something more? In the end I decided to stop torturing myself with what if's and eventually came to the conclusion that if there was anything more between them Brody would be honest with me. Later that day I had taken Ava out for lunch and a bit of pampering at a day spa and I tried to forget all about the incident.
Tonight I'm letting all of the worry float away and just focusing on the music; my body is totally buzzing. The first show in Bismarck is only quite small compared to our last couple. The venue is a lot smaller and only holds up to eight thousand people. That doesn't mean that the crowd is any less wild or intense. Ava is standing in the wings of the stage sipping wine alongside Emma and Tori while she watches us and my eyes have been wandering to her throughout the whole show. She is watching me with a huge grin on her face as I sing the final song of the night. Her large golden eyes seem to hold so much heat and desire when she looks at me. The air is electric between us as I sing and I feel so drawn to her. As soon as the song ends I wave to the crowd as I thank them for coming and I walk toward her. Pulling her to me I ask "Did you like the show?'
She grins as she wraps her arms around my neck "It was awesome. You guys are getting better with each performance." She twirls her fingers in my hair as I lose myself in the golden depths of her eyes. She gazes into my eyes as I run my finger from her cheek down her face and cup her chin gently as I lower my mouth to hers. Mmm, she tastes sweet, like the wine she's been drinking. She sucks my bottom lip into her mouth and I'm so turned on as she pushes her hips closer to mine.
Grabbing her hand I pull her gently with me as I almost run toward the dressing room. She seems worried and I hope I haven't scared her. As we enter the small room I turn the lock on the door and push Ava gently up against it as my mouth crashes to hers. For the last four weeks I have wanted this girl and the sexual frustration has reached boiling point. The lust and desire has taken over my body and I am struggling to hold it in anymore. Ava pulls me to her and attacks my mouth with hers, our tongues caressing each other with so much hunger as she gently tugs at my hair. Her hands leave my hair and slowly run down over my shoulders and chest. She grabs the hem of my t-shirt and practically tears it off my body, then her hands fall to the waistband of my jeans and I'm so fucking shocked when I hear the sound of the zipper. I pull back slightly my eyebrows furrowed and questioning. She studies my face then gives a slight nod as she whispers in a husky voice "I'm tired of fighting this attraction between us. I want you to fuck me, Jeremy."
"Baby, are you sure?" She smiles and nods again. Holy fuck, this girl makes my heart race and my dick so fucking hard. My mouth crashes back to hers again as I run my hands through her hair and tilt her head back, trying to gain deeper access to her sweet, sexy mouth. She runs her fingernails down my back, giving me chills all over my body, then brings her hands back to the front of my jeans, unhooking the button and pushing them down over my hips. Her hands grip onto my shoulders and she roughly flips us around so that I'm leaning back against the door and she's watching me with a devious grin on her gorgeous face.
Her eyes travel down slowly until they come to rest on my boxer briefs. She bites down on her bottom lip, which makes me even harder, if that's possible, as she slowly and agonizingly lowers my underwear. Her eyes flick up to mine and then back to my cock, which is throbbing, as her tongue traces her bottom lip. Her eyes meet mine again as she leans forward and circles my left nipple with her tongue. The feeling of pleasure is almost too much for me as she sucks it gently into her hot little mouth, causing a groan to rise from inside. "Fuck, Ava. You are so fucking beautiful."
She smiles up at me as her focus moves to my other nipple and
her hands graze my abs. The feeling of her hands on my skin is driving me fucking wild.
She suddenly pulls back and steps away from me as her hands rise to the top of her shirt. She flashes me a wicked grin as she slowly unbuttons her top pushing it back off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Her hands go behind her back and I assume she is undoing the zipper on her black skirt, as a few seconds later it too drops to the floor to pool around her feet which are still encased in black stilettos. I suck in a deep breath at the sight of her in a white lacy bra and matching thong.
She reaches behind her again and unclasps her bra letting it fall down to expose her full, gorgeous tits with rosy pink nipples. She is now standing there in her thong and black stilettos and it is the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen. Bending down, I retrieve a condom from my jeans pocket and my eyes remain on her as I tear the packet open and roll it down over my cock. Reaching out to her I pull her body flush with mine as I grab hold of the backs of her thighs and hoist her up in my arms. She wraps her slender legs around my waist as I lean her up against the door and she throws her head back in pleasure as I trail kisses down her throat. Holding her steady with one arm around her waist, my other hand gently caresses her breast and I feel her body tremble. Leaning forward I suck one of her rosy nipples into my mouth and she cries out as her fingernails dig into my back.
The sound of her cries spurs me on and I run my hand down over her hip as I suck harder on her nipple.