“I’m all yours,” I told him.
Hearing those words seemed to further excite him. His muscles hardened and he intensified the speed and pressure of his fingers, pumping into me with more urgency than before. At the same time, he launched into a thrilling attack on my neck with his mouth, kissing every inch of my skin until I was no longer able to distinguish which part of my body was experiencing more pleasure. Just as I was thinking I couldn’t take anymore stimulation without breaking apart, he pinched my nipple, gently twisting it between his thumb and forefinger, sending me into sensory overdrive.
He was omnipotent, fusing himself into every crevice of my being, holding my release hostage until I soared into the highest state of arousal and was reduced to a quivering, moaning bundle of delirious ecstasy. I was suddenly weightless, desperately digging my heels into the snow, grasping for something to ground me before I floated away.
Sawyer’s name burst from my lips, echoing through the forest as I exploded from within, melting into a puddle in his hand. Pleasure I’d never felt before rocked through me, and the waves kept coming well after his thrusts subdued. Hot liquid dripped down my legs, soaking through the fabric of my underwear.
Holy hell.
If that was what an orgasm was supposed to feel like, I’d been faking it all along.
Sawyer withdrew his hands from beneath my clothes and wrapped his arms around my waist. He closed my jacket, gently kissing the top of my head as he waited for me to catch my breath.
I felt like I should say something, but I had no words to explain what had just happened. My bones had turned to mush and my brain had been depleted of the simple ability to form coherent sentences. Utterly spent, I finally understood the meaning of “letting go.”
“That was…” I began.
“Amazing,” Sawyer finished for me. “You were amazing.”
“What about you?” I asked, suddenly aware of the hardness pressing against my back.
“What about me?” He kissed my neck. “I’m the instructor here. Today is all about you losing control. And learning to snowboard, of course.”
“Perhaps if Instructor Connor gave such intense private lessons I’d already be flying down the hill,” I joked.
“Connor better not touch you,” Sawyer growled, but his shoulders shook as he tried to suppress a chuckle. “I’ve had enough sharing. You’re mine for the rest of the week.”
Once I finished zipping up my pants he slipped out from behind me and crouched by my side. “Are you ready to get back on that board and show me what you’ve got?” he asked excitedly.
I massaged my legs, bringing back some feeling into my muscles. “I’m not gonna be able to walk, how do you expect me ride?”
“Like you don’t have a care in the world,” he whispered against my lips. “Like you’ve given up all control. Like it’s the best damn ride of your life.” His words sent tingles down my spine. I was pretty sure that Sawyer had officially conditioned me to associate the pleasure he’d just given me with snowboarding.
Best. Lesson. Ever.
We geared up, and my heart filled with pride the moment I began to follow his lead and head down the hill. It nearly burst from my chest once the realization had hit that I’d made it the rest of the way without falling. I hadn’t broken any speed or style records, but I’d made some turns and had managed to enjoy myself for the duration of the entire trip down.
“That was incredible!” I gushed as I stepped out of my snowboard. “I can’t believe that just happened! Did you see me?”
“I did,” he laughed, wiping away fluffy white powder from his board.
“I wasn’t thinking about anything. I just glided down. Without falling!” It helped that my entire body felt like putty. I couldn’t tense up or lock my knees even if I tried.
“You were amazing.” Sawyer picked up our boards and led the way to his car.
“Are all your private lessons this thorough?” I teased as we stopped in front of his trunk.
“You’re my first private lesson,” he said, bending down to kiss me. “At least of this sort.”
I lifted up my eyes to meet his. “Where do I sign up for more?”
A sultry spark tore through his green gaze. “I must warn you, the intermediate level is a lot more intense.” I could feel his mischievous grin as it stretched across my lips. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“I’m definitely up for it,” I replied. “Who knows? If you continue this type of training, I may even get good enough to make it to the Olympics.”
“You can have the gold if you let me keep my silver,” Sawyer joked.
I spent the rest of the drive back to the cabin trying not to look at his fingers as they strummed to the beat of the music against the steering wheel.
I was beyond excited for more private classes from Sawyer.
Following a quick stop at a nearby diner, Sawyer and I returned to the complex to find a party raging in Maddie’s client’s cabin. The invite had seemingly gone out to all of Whistler. Music blared, people danced, laughter rang out into the night. Thankfully, the festivities were contained to the bottom floor, so I was able to retreat to my room to shower in peace and grab a change of clothes.
Outfitted in a simple lavender sweater dress and gray ankle boots, I made my way downstairs and weaved through the crowd of plastic cup wielding strangers in search of Maddie. I finally found her in the dining room, engaging in a wildly entertaining round of beer pong. She and her partner—a short-haired girl I recognized as being one of Sawyer’s friends—were beating Connor and his partner.
Maddie’s eyes lit up when she saw me. She wrapped her hands around my neck in greeting, enveloping me in the smell of beer and her usual peachy body lotion.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said, gesturing around the room, “I invited some friends.”
“Some friends?” I laughed. “Maddie, this resembles one of your old high-school ragers.”
She shrugged and joined in my laughter. “Cut me some slack. I never got to experience any college parties. Plus, I cleared it with Mr. Client.”
I had my doubts that Mr. Client had the slightest inclination just how many people were currently trotting over his Persian rugs and making out on his white leather couches, but I didn’t say anything.
“Connor is here,” she whispered in my ear. If her faux whisper hadn’t been loud enough for Connor to hear, he had definitely seen the index finger that was aimed directly at him. “Can you make sure I don’t break any rules tonight?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “I’m kinda tipsy. And I actually really like this guy, so I don’t want to screw anything up.”
“I won’t let you stumble into his bed,” I promised, suddenly experiencing a case of déjà vu. Maddie was my sister at heart, but most of our high school experience had ended with me somehow taking care of her. It was why we worked well as a team—she pushed me to try new things and take chances, while I ensured she didn’t cross any lines she’d later regret.
Speaking of not breaking rules…
My eyes followed Sawyer as he made his way over to us, stopping every so often to greet people he knew. He had gone back to his cabin to shower and change, and now wore a simple black v-neck t-shirt and dark jeans. Wet strands of hair peeked out beneath a black beanie, giving him a mischievous, boyish appearance.
Memories of a time long-ago fluttered around my mind, tugging at my heart, reminding me that so much had changed over the past few years. Six years was a long time to be away from somebody, and Sawyer had grown in ways that made me realize I no longer knew all of him. He was still familiar in the ways I needed him to be, but it was evident that I had so much to rediscover about him.
We spent most of the night hanging out with Maddie and the rest of the gang. Since I was supposed to keep an eye on her and Sawyer didn’t drink, I chose to join him in sober-ville. Eventually the party thinned out and Maddie was securely escorted to her bed—sans Connor.
Sawyer st
ayed behind to help me clean, then ended up crashing in my bed at around three in the morning. We laid on our sides without touching, gazing at each other and talking until our voices slowly faded and our eyes began to close.
Only talking. Nothing else. Just like old times.
It slowly began to sink in that our roles had somehow reversed. When we were younger, I had been the one with the ideal life, the girl who always knew her next step. Sawyer’s world had been unpredictable, riddled with hurdles. His life was constantly spinning out of control.
Now, as I was second-guessing my path in life, he had made it. He’d achieved and even surpassed all goals he’d set for himself. He was so sure of himself, and it showed in the way he conducted himself—talked, walked, rode—as well as the power he displayed in other areas.
It thrilled me to know that things had worked out the way he’d planned, but it also terrified me because I knew with certainty that I didn’t fit into any of those plans.
CHAPTER TWELVE
We spent most of Monday morning on the slopes. Maddie had a private with Connor, while Sawyer offered to be my personal instructor and oversee my lessons for the day. To my disappointment we stayed confined to the very public Whistler tracks, which meant there weren’t any trees to take refuge behind and no way to indulge in a more thorough tutorial.
Nevertheless, there was a slight improvement in my snowboarding skills. Once I stopped thinking about not thinking, I slowly began to enjoy myself. I wasn’t able to match Maddie’s speed and my turns were still giving me trouble, but the snowboard no longer felt like an alien object under my feet.
Every new run also meant more chairlift time with Sawyer, so I did my best to get in as many as I could. I loved dangling in mid-air with our shoulders, legs, and boards brushing lightly; I melted every time I drew warmth from his tall frame.
Fluffy, white snowflakes floated from the sky, disappearing in Sawyer’s dark hair and dissolving on his long lashes. I wanted to lean over and kiss every single one of them away, but on our very last run he beat me to it. He pressed his lips to each of my eyelids, then drew a warm trail of kisses over my forehead, down my nose, ending up on my lips, provoking an immediate response from my body.
The day couldn’t have been more perfect, but Sawyer had much more in store for me than just beginner snowboarding lessons and stolen chairlift kisses. He was still on a mission to get me to lose control and that meant one thing—another crazy adventure. To my disappointment, it didn’t involve more alone time with Sawyer. This time, the feat was every adrenaline junkie’s wet dream: ziplining over snow-covered trees on a nearby forest course.
Maddie and Connor decided to join us, so at around three o’clock in the afternoon, we all piled into Old Stally and journeyed over to the zipline course. Gloved hands entwined, we trekked across a trail of wobbly bridges suspended between tall, thick trees. I didn’t protest the zipline as much as I had the bungee jump. I felt less afraid of the unknown and actually looked forward to conquering the challenge.
I forced my eyes to stay open as my feet left the high platform, indulging every one of my senses in the thrill of the ride. A blur of green, brown, and white spilled out below me; streams of blue and white flowed above me.
The air was sharper and fresher at such a high altitude. The smell of pine needles and ice reminded me of Sawyer. As always, it both warmed my insides and filled me with pleasurable shivers. Inhaling deeply, I let the scent wash over my skin, filling my lungs with the crispness of the nature around us.
The entire day flew by so quickly I yearned to dig my heels into the ground and keep the earth from rotating on its axis. Hours ticked away like seconds; it felt like the sun had begun to set before it even had a chance to rise.
After surviving the zipline escapade, Maddie and Connor headed into town for a date. Sawyer had an important conference call with one of his sponsors, so I prepared for a night of much-needed alone time with my bed.
Every one of my joints ached and my muscles screamed out in agony, protesting the most minute movement. All I wanted to do was crawl under my cozy duvet, turn on a mindless movie, and drift off to sleep.
But first, I forced myself to endure a warm shower. As I was toweling off, I played a game of “tally up the bruises.” The count on my legs had gone up by four since yesterday. I didn’t dare peek at my ass. If the pain I was experiencing was any indication, it was better to be kept in the dark about the situation in that area.
I snapped a quick picture of the big blue-and-purple mess that was my right knee and texted it to Sawyer with the words “You’re evil!” attached underneath.
Are you trying to seduce me? he replied moments later.
I was trying to show you how much you’ve tortured me today.
I pressed “send” at the same time as another text popped up on my screen.
Because it’s working. Hottest. Pic. Ever.
Are bony knees a turn-on for you or something?
Your bony knees are cute. :)
Guys who use emoticons are cute.
And girls who can handle pain are hot.
Very funny.
I didn’t mean for that to come off as kinky.
Sure you didn’t.
After that, my phone blew up with a string of texts.
Really, Silver. I love watching you ride. I love seeing the determination in your eyes. Even when you fall, you don’t let it defeat you. You’re strong. And your strength is hot. VERY HOT.
With every new message that popped up on my screen, my grin grew a little wider and my heartbeat a little faster. I didn’t reply; I just read the words over and over again, memorizing them, indulging in the meaning behind the text. There was radio silence on his end for a while as well, but then my phone lit up again.
Soo...should I sext back one of my scrapes? Is that what we’re doing here?
It suddenly hit me that I missed him. A lot. Or maybe you can come over instead… I typed.
I’ll be there in an hour.
An hour? I’ll pass out by then.
You better not. Stay up, Silver. It’ll be worth it. I promise. ;)
After that promise, I couldn’t do anything else but wait up and try not to drown in anticipation. I briefly considered dressing up for his visit, but instead put on a simple pair of pajama shorts and a matching tank top.
This was Sawyer, after all. He’d seen me with braces and pimples and hair piled up high on top of my head in the messiest of buns. He’d also told me that I was the smartest, prettiest, funniest girl in the world when, at thirteen, I’d whined that no boy would ever like me because I was the only girl in my entire class who was still as flat as a board. He’d somehow succeeded in convincing me that no boobs didn’t mean that I’d die an old maid in a sea of cats.
He’d probably see right through me if he showed up at my door and I was wearing a corset, fishnet stockings, and lipstick—not that I even owned any of those. But I kind of wanted Sawyer to know my intentions.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I was in perfect alignment of Maddie’s fifth and most important rule: no regrets. I felt a craving that hadn’t surfaced with anyone else for a very long time, a desire to connect with Sawyer on the most intimate level possible.
The raw need to be close to him stemmed from both the comfort brought on by our past and the sexual tension that rocked our present. It was only tinted by the knowledge that he couldn’t be a part of my future. Eventually, there would be no more Whistler. Just cold reality.
I spent the next hour with the remote in hand, trying not to think about the fact that in a few short days I would be heading back to Denver, forced to part with Sawyer once again. I flicked through channels in an effort to avoid every single tear-jerker chick-flick polluting the television. Since when was the Monday night TV line-up chock-full of unspoken love and devastating breakups? I finally settled on a police procedural. In that moment, dead bodies seemed a lot easier to handle than broken hearts.
&nb
sp; A little before ten o’clock, just as the sexy, hot-tempered detective and his clever, forensic scientist partner were about to nail the bad guy, the doorbell rang. I slipped a short kimono robe over my pajamas and took the stairs two at a time, nearly twisting my ankle when my foot greeted the landing.
A cold burst of air washed over me when I opened the front door and ushered Sawyer inside. He slipped into the foyer, breathing warmth into his hands. His nose and cheeks were tinted red, complementing the green of his eyes.
“It’s freezing out there,” he huffed.
“That’s because you never dress for the weather,” I chastised, plucking at the thin material of his long-sleeve t-shirt. “Where’s your jacket?”
“You tell me,” he said with a grin. “You’ve been keeping it hostage ever since that night at the bar.”
I glanced over at the hook where it hung. “Oh, right. Let that be a lesson for running off,” I teased.
He raised his hands in defense, dangling a white plastic bag from his wrist. “From now on, I promise to stay and fight every single guy who proposes to you.”
“You better. I’m so worth it.” I meant it as a joke, but Sawyer suddenly stiffened. His jaw hardened and his smile vanished.
“You are.” The force of his words sent a chill down my spine. “I hope you know that, Silver.”
“What’s in there?” I gestured to the bag, trying to dissolve the tension that had suddenly crept into the air around us. Sawyer’s attention dropped from my face and landed on the bag.
Softening slightly, he said, “Your surprise.” He led the way to the kitchen, shooting me a sexy smirk over his shoulder. He placed the bag on the counter and began removing its contents one by one.
“Sushi,” he said as he set down a see-through plastic container.
My mouth actually began to salivate at the sight in front of me. “Spicy salmon hand rolls. My favorite.”
He dug around the bag, searching for the next item. “Cherries.”
“Cherries?!” I gasped. “What the hell?”
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