by S. A. Cosby
“She ain’t dead but she might be in shock,” Ike said. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed Mya’s number. His fingers left muddy splotches on the touch screen.
“What’s your address?” Ike asked as the phone rang.
“Huh, what?” Buddy Lee said.
“We need to get her looked at and we can’t go back to my house. They don’t know where you live. What’s your address?” Ike said.
“Oh, 2354 East End Road,” Buddy Lee said.
Mya picked up on the fourth ring.
“Ike?”
“Meet us at 2354 East End Road. Bring your first-aid kit. We’ll be there in thirty minutes,” Ike said.
“Are you hurt?” Mya said. Ike winced. There was something broken in her that was just starting to heal. He heard it rip wide open with that question.
“Not me. Not Buddy Lee. But we need your help,” Ike said.
“Alright,” she said. She hung up before he could say any more.
“Shouldn’t we take her to the hospital?” Buddy Lee asked.
“Doctors gotta report all gunshot wounds to the cops. There’s three dead bodies back there. You wanna explain that to the police?” Ike asked.
“What if she dies, Ike? She’s the only one who knows who this son of a bitch is,” Buddy Lee said.
“Buddy, we could both get hemmed up for this shit,” Ike said. Buddy Lee bit the corner of his bottom lip.
“But if she tells the cops—”
“Did you hear what she said? This guy sounds connected. He might have the cops in his back pocket,” Ike said.
“Can’t be all of them,” Buddy Lee said. He took a sharp curve at sixty miles per hour, then kicked the truck back up to eighty. A groan escaped Tangerine’s lips. Ike leaned her head back to make sure she could breathe.
“We can’t win.… We can’t,” Tangerine whispered.
“Stay with me, girl!” Ike yelled. He put his arm around her and let her lay against his bare chest.
“Buddy Lee, listen to me. We go to a hospital we gonna have a lot of questions to answer,” Ike said.
“You told me you was willing to do anything to get the people who killed the boys. Did you mean it? Because I did. If I gotta go back inside for this bastard to get caught, then I’m gonna be getting a new orange jumpsuit and some slippers. Now how about you?” Buddy Lee asked. Ike closed his eyes so tight he thought his eyelids might pop off his face.
“She said him and his people was rich, right? That means he gets rich-man justice. We’ll be inside, the boys will still be dead, and he’ll get a fancy lawyer to make everything go away. He’ll probably still kill Tangerine for shit and giggles. Buddy Lee, we can’t fix this if we doing twenty-five to life,” Ike said. Buddy Lee took his eyes off the road for an instant and looked at Ike.
“Did we get that girl’s mama killed, Ike? How did them peckerwoods find us? Did they follow us? Cuz if they did, they was mighty slick about it. Ain’t like you can sneak up on a body if you on a Harley,” Buddy Lee said. Tangerine mumbled again.
“No … win … we can’t.…”
Ike smoothed down her hair. Her skin was clammy to the touch.
“The only person who knew where we were going was Slice,” Ike said. That statement didn’t need any more explanation. Buddy Lee struck the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.
“That cocksucker! But why? Didn’t you say you took care of the boy that killed his brother? Why would he double-cross you like that?” Buddy Lee asked.
“I don’t know. I think the thing about Luther might be a part of it. Deep down inside he’s pissed at himself because he didn’t handle it, and pissed at me because I did. Still don’t explain how him and the Rare Breed know each other. I didn’t think they ran in the same circles, but Slice has his fingers in a lot of pies, I guess. We gonna have to circle back to that another time, though,” Ike said. Tangerine mumbled something else, but it was so insubstantial Ike couldn’t catch it.
“We in over our head, ain’t we, Ike,” Buddy Lee said. It wasn’t a question.
Ike smoothed Tangerine’s hair again. “It don’t matter. We gotta finish it.”
* * *
They pulled up to the trailer so hard and fast Buddy Lee had to stand up on the brake. The truck slid across the gravel and came within five inches of Mya’s car, which was parked a half a step away from Buddy Lee’s front door. Ike was out and running to the house with Tangerine in his arms before Buddy Lee had shut off the engine. Mya hopped out of her car with a diaper bag over her shoulder and Arianna in her arms. Buddy Lee killed the engine and climbed out of the truck with his keys in his hand.
“Open the door for Ike, I’ll get Little Bit,” Buddy Lee said. Mya traded him Arianna for the keys and went to his door. As he walked back to his truck with Arianna, Buddy Lee heard a gentle tap, tap, tap sound. He squatted down to his haunches with the little girl in his arms. She giggled as he groaned. There was a thin but steady stream of oil leaking from the undercarriage.
I know I rode you hard, girl. Just hold out a little bit longer, Buddy Lee thought. He straightened and went to the rear of his truck. He used one hand to drop the tailgate. He sat down and balanced Arianna in his lap. She pawed at the scruff on his chin.
“I sure do need a shave, don’t I? Grandpa looking like a werewolf,” Buddy Lee said.
“Why don’t me and you stay out here for a minute? You wanna sing a song? You know ‘I Saw the Light’? Hank Senior used to sing that one. My mama loved that song. She sang to us once when she was trying to keep us occupied cuz our lights was off and my daddy had run off with the money for the bill. See, I can tell you all this because you ain’t gonna remember it. Hell, you might not even remember me,” Buddy Lee said.
* * *
“Take her to the kitchen,” Mya said. Ike swung a right and carried Tangerine into Buddy Lee’s tiny kitchen. It was more like a kitchenette. Buddy Lee had an old, yellow chrome-and-Formica table. Ike swept the few dishes onto the floor with Tangerine’s feet and lay her prone form across the tabletop. Mya unloaded the diaper bag. Ike saw a bottle of alcohol, bandages, sutures, and rubber gloves.
“Go on outside. I’m gonna try to make this as sterile as possible.”
“You sure?” Ike said.
“Isaac, you’re just gonna get in the way,” she said. Using his Christian name was Mya-speak for “I’m not asking.”
Ike went outside and closed the door behind him. He saw Buddy Lee and Arianna singing on the tailgate. The little girl was giggling, and Buddy Lee made exaggerated faces as he sang a tune Ike didn’t recognize. It sounded vaguely religious. Buddy Lee had a powerful, melodious voice that rose and fell in all the right places. Ike couldn’t carry a tune even if it was in a bucket.
Ike didn’t want to intrude so he sat on Buddy Lee’s cinder-block steps. Barely a minute later Buddy Lee picked up Arianna and joined him on the step. He sat Arianna on the ground. She immediately picked up a rock and threw it into the air.
“She reminds me of Derek. He’d find a stick and play by himself until the cows came home,” Buddy Lee said. Ike hugged himself, squeezing his own shoulders. Twilight was rapidly approaching and the temperature was dropping just as quickly.
“Isiah would make up stories about some elves that lived in a tree in the backyard. It was a whole saga with wars and marriages and shit,” Ike said.
“You think she gonna make it? Tangerine, I mean,” Buddy Lee said.
“She’ll make it. Question is, will she tell us who the guy is?” Ike said. Arianna plopped down on her butt and banged two rocks together.
“She really done convinced herself he loves her. Like she don’t believe he had nothing to do with all this,” Buddy Lee said.
“You love a person enough and you’ll make excuses for almost anything. I saw guys on death row get requests for conjugal visits from women on the outside,” Ike said.
“Yeah, but them women crazy,” Buddy Lee said.
“Love is a kin
d of crazy,” Ike said. Buddy Lee toed the gravel with the tip of his boot. He had no witty rejoinder in the chamber for that one.
“Buddy Lee Jenkins, who the hell let you watch their child?” Margo asked. Buddy Lee and Ike stood up as she came around the corner of Buddy Lee’s truck.
“First off, I’m an excellent babysitter. Second, this ain’t just any little child, this my granddaughter, Arianna,” Buddy Lee said. He scooped Arianna up off the ground.
“If you such a good babysitter, why you letting her sit on the ground? Jesus H. Christ,” Margo said.
“Little Bit, can you say hi to the mean lady?” Buddy Lee said. Margo slapped him on the arm.
“Don’t pay him no mind, cutie pie. Ain’t you just about the prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Margo said. She ruffled Arianna’s hair.
“And who is this here tall drink of water with a phobia against shirts?” Margo said. Ike instinctively crossed his arms. Margo smirked and winked at him.
“I’m Ike. I’m Arianna’s uh … grandfather, too,” Ike said. Margo nodded.
“Well, nice to meet you, Ike. Piece of advice, don’t let Buddy Lee let your granddaughter sit on the naked ground. My son got trichinosis like that. Well, I’m off to bingo. Y’all keep your eye on this little beauty. She here when I get back I just might have to steal her,” Margo said.
“Alright, have fun,” Buddy Lee said.
“I’d ask you to come with me but I’m afraid you’d be like your friend here and lose your shirt,” Margo said. She disappeared around the corner of her trailer. A few seconds later they heard her Volkswagen Bug start up and take off out of the trailer court. Ike thought the Bug’s engine sounded like an outboard motor.
“You and her friends?” Ike said. He raised his right eyebrow.
“She’s my neighbor. She’s a good woman. Not big on taking any shit,” Buddy Lee said.
“She like you.”
“What? No. We just neighbors,” Buddy Lee said.
“You think what you want, but I bet if you had taken her up on her offer, you’d be playing bingo right about now,” Ike said.
“Friends can go to bingo,” Buddy Lee said. Ike noticed his ears were turning a soft shade of crimson.
“Did you like the lady, Little Bit? I’m a little afraid of her,” Buddy Lee said. He bugged his eyes out and blew air between his lips. Arianna let out a high-pitched squeal.
Ike lowered his head and silently traced the fissures in the cinder blocks between his legs.
Look at what you’re missing. What you missed with her daddy, a voice in his head whispered. The worst thing was he knew the reason why he wouldn’t allow himself to get closer to her. For the first time since she had come to live with them, it made him ashamed. Ike wondered, How many chances does a man get to make the right decision before fate decides he doesn’t deserve another bite at the apple?
Mya stuck her head out the door.
“We need to talk,” she said. Ike and Buddy Lee and Arianna entered the trailer.
“She’ll make it,” Mya said. She was standing next to Buddy Lee’s table. Tangerine was lying on her side with her back toward them.
“She lost a lot of blood, but that wound in her arm is an in and out. I can’t be sure without an X-ray, but it doesn’t look like it shattered any of her bones. She might have some nerve damage, though. She wasn’t in shock. She just fainted. She going to need a place to rest, and somebody is going to have change that bandage and clean it. Now, do y’all wanna tell me who she is and how she got that hole in her arm?” Mya asked.
“She’s the girl Isiah and Derek were trying to help. We think her boyfriend was in this shit that got the boys killed. We went to talk to her about going to the cops,” Ike said. He thought, Or telling us who her boyfriend was so we can cut his fucking head off.
Buddy Lee picked up the explanation.
“Some boys found us and shot up her house. They shot her mama, too. We think they the same sons of bitches that killed the boys,” Buddy Lee said. Mya put her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes.
“Did she tell you anything?” Mya mumbled from behind her clasped hands. Ike shook his head. Mya pulled her hands away from her face.
“This poor child. We have to get her someplace safe where she can heal,” Mya said.
“I think I know somebody,” Ike said.
“Are they … an ally?” Mya asked.
“A what?” Ike said.
“An ally. Isiah told me…” She paused. “Isiah told me that was what you called someone who was LGBTQ-friendly,” Mya said.
“Let me guess, she secretly a lesbian?” Buddy Lee said. Mya looked over her shoulder at Tangerine’s prone form.
“Wrong letter,” Mya whispered. Ike frowned.
“What are you talking about, puddin?” Ike said. He hadn’t used that term of endearment in so long it surprised him. By the way Mya’s eyebrows arched, it surprised her, too. She rubbed her hands on her pants.
“Your friend is a transgender woman. Wherever you take her they need to be an ally. You don’t need to take her to somebody that’s gonna kick her out in the street if they find out,” Mya said. Ike sat down on the arm of Buddy Lee’s sofa. Buddy Lee put Arianna down. She ran to Mya and grabbed her grandmother’s leg.
“Wait, so she’s a he?” Buddy Lee asked in a low tone.
“No. She is a she who has not had gender-reassignment surgery yet,” Mya said. Buddy Lee sat next to Ike on the couch and dropped his head. He ran his hands through his hair.
“And I thought this day couldn’t get any crazier,” he said.
“You called her a she. But she still has a…” Ike said. He let the statement hang in the air.
“She is presenting as a woman. She seems to be living as a woman. So she is a woman,” Mya said.
“They teach you all about that at the hospital?” Buddy Lee asked.
“Some of it, yeah. Most of it is just being respectful of people and accepting them for who they are,” Mya said. Ike felt her gaze boring a hole in him like she was wielding an earth auger. No one spoke for a moment. Mya scooped up Arianna and let her lay her head on her shoulder.
“She pretty,” Arianna said.
“Hmm?” Mya said.
“She pretty,” Arianna said. Mya turned and saw Tangerine giving Arianna a weak wave. Arianna waved back.
“I guess we should go back to my sister’s,” Mya said.
“No. Not yet,” Ike said.
“What you mean ‘not yet’? You the one told us to leave,” Mya said.
“Yeah, I know. Now I’m thinking I don’t want you on the road alone. I’m gonna take Tangerine to a place she’ll be safe. Y’all stay here and wait for me until I get back. Then I can drive you to your sister’s and Buddy Lee can follow us,” Ike said.
“Where you taking her?” Buddy Lee said.
“No place you need to know about. If you don’t know, you can’t tell,” Ike said.
“I wouldn’t tell, Ike,” Buddy Lee said. He sounded affronted.
“I know you wouldn’t want to, but if them boys catch you, they gonna push hard. This way you can’t,” Ike said. Buddy Lee went to scratch at his chin and stopped.
“That’s why her friend so hot to put her in the ground,” Buddy Lee said.
“It ain’t just about him having a girlfriend who knows some shit about him. It’s about who she is,” Ike said.
“You think Tariq knows, too? That why he put his boys on us like that?” Buddy Lee said.
“Makes sense. Hardcore hip-hop producer don’t want nobody to know he on the down-low,” Ike said.
“I’m not gay,” a weak voice said from the kitchen. Ike and Buddy Lee shared a look that was becoming their shorthand. Ike stood and went into the kitchen. Tangerine was sitting on the edge of the table. Mya had fashioned her a sling out of one of Buddy Lee’s bedsheets. Her hair was stuck to her face. She had a beach towel with the words ATLANTIC CITY silk-screened on it wrapped around her like a
toga.
“You’re not?” Buddy Lee said.
“No, I’m not, Gomer Pyle,” Tangerine said.
“I’m so confused,” Buddy Lee said. He leaned back against the couch. Ike went and stood in front of Tangerine.
“We gotta get you somewhere safe,” Ike said.
“I was somewhere safe. I was safe and my mama was alive,” she said.
“They were gonna find you eventually,” Ike said.
“You don’t fucking know that,” Tangerine said.
“Yes, I do. Because your boy, whoever he is, he don’t want nobody to ever find out he was with somebody who was…” Ike stopped himself. He was still making bad decisions. Still saying the wrong things.
“Say it. I’ve heard it before. Somebody like me. Even my mama used to call me a fucking freak. She wouldn’t call me Tangerine. Said she named me after my daddy. That was his name and I should be proud to have it, and now she’s dead and she’ll never be able to call me by my real name,” Tangerine said. She began to weep. Great racking sobs that made Ike’s chest hurt. He went to her, and before he knew what he was doing, he tried to put his arms around her. She pushed him away. Ike stepped back with his arms awkwardly open.
“Tell us his name, sis. Let us put an end to this thing,” Buddy Lee said.
“You don’t fucking get it. We loved each other. He’s not in control of this. I’m not saying he’s not involved, but he’s not the one doing this,” Tangerine said. Her cheeks glistened as her tears soaked her face.
“Tell us,” Buddy Lee said as gently as could.
“He killed our sons. He sent people to kill you. They took your mama from you. Tell us, Tangerine,” Ike said. He put his hand on her shoulder, but in his mind he was touching Isiah. She wasn’t his son. But he felt like through her he could glean an inkling of the pain and misery and sense of unfairness that he could never experience, that people who lived under an umbrella made of a panoply of letters knew intimately. How many times had Isiah cried the way Tangerine was crying right now? Wept until he found the strength to live as he was meant to live. As a man who was so much more than who he slept with? Who had a father who refused to see him as anything more than a disappointment?