by Freya Barker
"How so?" she asks, hobbling up beside me on her crutches, and for the first time I notice how small she is compared to me. The top of her head barely reaches my chin and her shoulder fits perfectly under my arm, which is where I tuck her tightly as we watch our dog take his massive piss. Romantic.
"He's been emptying the tank for five minutes straight."
Chuckling she elbows my ribs. "The drugs will do that to you. Believe me I know. Poor puppy."
Finally done, Blue gingerly straightens his legs and slowly ambles back over to where we're standing. For a while we just stand there, looking out at the receding sun over the mountains in the distance. It's peaceful, with my family tucked against my side, my fingers trailing through the coarse mane of the ugly mutt who's slowly burrowing himself under my skin, and the beginnings of a dream home behind me. I manage to stay in the moment, not allowing the nagging worries and fears around the arrangements and potential dangers for the coming hours and days to spoil this moment right here. First the twitching of his ears and then the low growl emanating from Blue is the early alert that someone is coming up the drive. The crunch of wheels on the gravel is next.
Reluctantly I turn to Katie, lift up her chin and brush my lips over hers.
"Love you, Katie."
"I know honey," she whispers back, "and I love you." Pulling back she straightens herself on her crutches and moves inside. "You coming? The cavalry is here."
By the time I have Blue introduced to Malachi who, surprisingly take to each other right away, Katie and Neil are chatting away in the kitchen pulling out plates and setting out the food Neil picked us up.
"Drinks?" Katie calls out.
"Beer for me. Mal?"
"Sure."
Back in her chair so she can have her hands free, Katie rolls to the table with bottles and napkins in her lap. She looks so... at home. The hint of a smile plays on her lips when she hands out drinks and when she hands me mine I grab her hand and pull her in for a kiss.
"What's that for?" she asks when I let her up for air.
I give a little shrug of my shoulders and try to ignore Neil who is spouting his nonsense to Malachi.
"You know it might not be a bad idea; moving here? Every time I fucking turn around, these people are going at it. Must be something in the water. They screw like rabbits, I swear. Gus and Emma are the same way, and so are Seb and Arlene, it'd be almost sickening if I weren't craving some affection myself, if you know what I mean."
For a minute Mal says nothing and just looks at Neil, before responding.
"Well you better not be fucking looking in my direction, pal. I don't do dick."
In the seconds of absolute silence that follow, Neil's mouth drops open, his face hits every shade of red and purple before losing all color completely and I can't hold back anymore and burst out laughing.
"I can't fucking believe your brother thought I was swinging the other way."
Neil is furiously scrubbing the few plates we dirtied while I dry and put them away. We managed to get through dinner although it was clear Neil's usual large appetite had diminished some.
"You run off at the mouth sometimes, Kid. Some of what comes out sounds a little fucked up sometimes. Get over it. Besides, you are kinda pretty," I tease him
I just managed to twist away from his elbow only to have it land in my kidney instead of my gut. Ouch.
"You had some hardware?"
"Yeah. Lockbox in the bed of my truck. Let's grab it."
Grabbing his keys from the counter, he leads the way out the door.
When everything is inside piled on the dining table, I can see there are not just ammunition and additional firearms but a bunch of Neil's electronic gadgetry as well.
"That gonna keep him out?" Malachi nods at the table.
"I think the idea is not so much to keep him out, but to let us know when he gets in."
Katie enlightens him from her perch on the couch, her fingers back to stroking Blue beside her.
Smart woman.
CHAPTER THIRTY
"Hey little lady! Whatcha doin' out there?"
It's been a quiet few days since we put our plan to draw Guzman out into the open in place. The guys have been upstairs most of the time, working hard to finish framing in the bedrooms and bathrooms, putting drywall and cement board up and the entire house is constantly covered in a thin layer of dust, despite the heavy duty plastic sheeting we have hanging in the stairwell.
I'm on the deck with Blue and a sketchpad on my lap planning out where I want my garden to go in. It's funny how easily my mind has accepted this as my home as much as it is Caleb's. We haven't even talked about money and finances; how those should be divided or joined, but even that doesn't seem to give me any anxiety. I somehow sense that it will all work itself out once we have our way to the future clear.
A future. One I had never pictured myself in, but so oddly right.
"Clint! How are ya?" I greet the big burly man whose redneck upbringing and bluster no longer hides the kind and solid heart underneath from me. The innocuous little beep of the alarm Neil had installed at the turn-off on the main road had alerted to a visitor, and the lack of follow up a little further down the drive in the form of an obscured camera had reassured me after the first few seconds that whoever was coming up the drive was not a threat. Either Neil or Gus were manning the visuals from the GFI offices only five or so minutes down the road and would sound a different alarm if they saw anything suspicious. Despite the building tension, looking from the outside in, life had all the appearances of going on as usual.
"Just coming to see if you're ready for that elevator yet? The weekend Caleb told me to hold off a few days, but I haven't heard so I thought I'd check in."
He peeks over my shoulder at my doodles and then out into the yard.
"Is that what they call abstract? ‘Cause I'm not seeing it."
"That's 'cause it's not there yet. Planning the garden. I want it in as soon as possible. Thought I'd plan it out first, makes it easier once we get going," I smile at him. "If you're looking to talk to Caleb, just follow the sound of drilling and prepare to get dusty. They're in the ensuite bathroom this morning I think." Pointing with my pencil over my shoulder I add, "and there's fresh coffee in the pot, but it's decaf I warn you."
Grumbling about idiots on health kicks, Clint ambles off inside, leaving me back to envisioning this summer and fall's bounty.
"How are you doing? Kendra says you've missed a few sessions so I thought I'd check in. Everything alright?"
"Hey. Yes everything is fine, we've just been really busy with Caleb's brother in town and work on the barn. I've been keeping up with exercises though, and been walking on crutches as much as I can, but mostly in the house."
I can't tell Naomi the real reasons I haven't been in Cortez all week. I feel bad for lying to her but there's no use in involving her in any way.
"What about the pregnancy? Any issues? Morning sickness, extra sensitivity, any other complaints? I assume it's still being kept quiet?"
"Jeeze, you're full of questions," I chuckle at her staccato inquiries.
"No, no, no, no and yes, to answer them all and trust me. I'd be on the phone to you so fast, your head would spin. I have no experience with this, never had a sister or girlfriend who went through this and am gonna need to do some serious reading up at some point, but for now I'm counting on you to guide me through."
"Okay, okay. I'm just checking up."
"Look; as soon as this drywall shit is done and the dust has settled, literally, you're gonna have to come over and have a visit, okay? I just spent the morning planning my vegetable garden."
"Can't wait, and don't be a stranger," Naomi responds before she hangs up.
The moment I put down the phone two arms slide around me from behind and a deep voice rumbles in my ear.
"What's that you've got there?"
"Sandwiches. Was just gonna call you guys down when Naomi called."
"T
hat who that was?"
"Yeah, just checking in since I've skipped a few sessions at Kendra."
A wet slide of lips at the juncture of my neck and shoulder sends a little shiver down to the tips of my breasts, perking up enthusiastically.
And then Clint walks in the kitchen.
"Lunch! Awesome, I'm starving."
And the moment is gone. From the groan behind me, Caleb can feel the loss of it as much as I do.
With Mal not far behind, I deduct it is time to feed the animals and shove the plate with sandwiches in Caleb's hands to take to the table, which he does after planting a quick hard one on my lips. I open the fridge door, but before I have a chance to ask around for drinks, Mal is beside me with his arm around my shoulders.
"Go sit down, little sister," he tells me softly, kissing the side of my head, "I've got this."
Not having had much direct interaction with Mal since he moved in and has been camping out on our couch on Sunday, this move touches me. I have sensed a person much different from the one he likes to portray underneath the surface; one who doesn't trust easily, and he at times has reminded me much of Blue. Observant, distant, threatening and all bluster; intended to hide a fear of trust. Thick, thick layers of self-protection that I've just seen crack a little. Not trusting myself to speak, I simply nod and with a firm hold on my crutches I do as I'm told, blinking my eyes to clear my vision.
"Why do we need the elevator at all?"
I've listened to Clint and Caleb go back and forth about the stupid elevator contractor not being able to wait any longer before he is needed on another job. They stop and look at me.
"Babe, the shaft is built already."
"I get that, but seriously–"
"Seriously," Caleb interrupts me, earning him a glare, which only makes him smile, "since it is already there, it might as well go in as planned. You never know when it comes in handy. Life is funny, right little one?" He looks at me from under his heavyset eyebrows and makes me think. I hate when he makes me think and trying to get a point across. I hate it even more that I'm getting it. We're getting an elevator. Crud.
"But," he continues to Clint, "I do agree with Katie that the urgency we had isn't there anymore, so you can tell the contractor to handle the other job and not wait around for us to be ready. He can contact me when he has a spot in his schedule and we'll work something out."
Clint nods, "that'll do."
Not long after when there are nothing but crumbs left on the plate, Clint is gone to look in on his crew working in Cortez somewhere, and Caleb and Mal are back to screwing in drywall. I settle in on the couch, flip up my laptop and soon lose myself in the wonders of nine months of gestation.
"Hey, little one." The soft hum of Caleb's lips against the shell of my ear wakes me up. Once again I've dozed off without intending to, something that seems to happen from time to time lately. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I see his stern face leaning over me, but his eyes hold all the tenderness I need. Over his shoulder, Mal is sitting at the kitchen island, a beer in hand, wearing a smile.
"Hey," I yawn; my eyes back to Caleb, who watches through squinting eyes as I stretch. "I fell asleep," I state the obvious.
"Noticed that," he says as he sits down and pulls me on his lap burying his face in my neck, "and if you stick your tits out any further, I can't promise I'll hold back even with my brother looking on," he growls in a low voice I hope not loud enough for Mal to overhear.
"Caleb!" I try to push off him, but he has me locked tight in his arms. Sneaking a peek at his brother whose shaking shoulders are clear evidence he hasn't missed a word, my embarrassment is complete. Fuck my life and being surrounded by all these grunting Neanderthals. Can't a person have a little nap around here?
"Settle down, sweets. We've run out of the right size drywall screws, so I have to run into Cortez. I just wanted to let you know. We're almost done the last of it before we can do the taping, which I'd really love to start tomorrow."
"Can't someone else pick it up?" My embarrassment quickly forgotten I frame his face in my hands and kiss his lips, mumbling, "please?"
"Appearances have to be as normal, Yázhí, you know that. I've called Gus who is going to 'drop in' here with some food from the diner, which is not unusual since we're in the middle of construction, and we'll time it so you'll always have that extra man. Besides, when I talked to Joe earlier he said there had been no movement whatsoever. No flags have gone up anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if the coward's in South America somewhere with his stash, living it up."
There is nothing to say, because of course he is right and I'm impatient for this to be over. So I stick my lip out. It works about as well as it did last time 'cause Caleb chuckles, "Doing that mopey thing again? Cute."
I'm fighting it but I lose. The smile wins. I can be such a girl sometimes. It's horrible, but the guys seem to think it's hilarious.
"Go fucking buy your screws, okay?" I manage to crawl off his lap and shoo him away with my hands, my cheeks sore from the big grin I'm trying to suppress.
I love how I'm being an idiot and still this man can make me feel special and safe. Not only that, but even Malachi's laughter at my expense feels more like a comfortable and loving tease than a hurtful mockery. Amazing how one moment you realize it isn't so much how people treat you that holds the power, but how you interpret and react to the treatment.
A few minutes later, Caleb is on his way to the hardware store, and Mal drops down beside me on the couch.
"How far along?"
"Sorry?"
"Had my eyes on you for a few days now, the way you drop off to sleep, the emotional swings, on the dog that hovers around you. The way Caleb handles you. How pregnant are you?"
My mouth drops open in stunned disbelief. How. The. Fuck?
"Emotional swings?" is what actually leaves my mouth. Not any of the other very insightful stuff he brings up, but that specifically.
Throwing back his head he laughs out loud and suddenly I see the beauty in Mal that I can always see in Caleb. "How would you know to recognize any of that shit anyway?"
The moment I say that, the smile disappears from his face and it's as if shutters drop over his eyes.
"I had a friend..." But he stops right there, and I don't push. It's enough to hear the pinch of pain in those four words. Instead I grab his hand and tell him.
"Only very early. At most four weeks, so we are trying to keep it quiet. Also 'cause... well, you know. This whole thing is still hanging over our heads, and we have barely had a chance to be together."
"I'm glad for you. Both of you. He deserves a family again."
I don't have anything to say to that. I agree, we both deserve a family and I'll happily take Mal as part of mine; he looks so lost.
The muted beep breaks through the silence in the room and has Mal jump up and grab the gun from the small of his back. Blue growls softly from his bed beside the couch, ready to spring into action, but the lack of a second warning is once again reassuring.
By the time Gus pulls up to the barn, Mal is already opening the door.
"Sorry it took me a bit," he says as he walks in, putting two bags filled with containers on the kitchen island. "I walked in on a bit of drama with Beth all up in Clint's face." He chuckles, "should've seen the man; I've never seen anyone look so stumped."
"Clint? He left here a while ago, saying he was heading to Cortez must've changed his mind."
"Well he's on his way there now, I'm sure. He left the diner muttering something about never understanding women and why he ever thought 'this one' was any different. I had to call Seb from the kitchen to give me a hand, 'cause all the girls followed a crying Beth into the washrooms."
When I open my mouth to ask him the first of the many questions bubbling to the surface, he sticks up his hand, "Don't ask me. I don't know the scoop. I don't want to know the scoop, and I'm sure if you can wait until tomorrow, the scoop will come to you, whether you want to hear it or not.
Probably in the form of that mouthy redhead of mine."
I snicker at Gus's show of exasperation when he talks about Emma, because that's all it is; show. I know as well as he does that anything that woman does is born of concern for others and not out any malicious intent to gossip. If anything is going on with Beth and Clint, she'll likely want to feel me out to see if Clint has dropped any hints about Beth and I really, I'll have nothing to give her. Nothing but suspicions that is.
Mal is digging through the bags, "Fuck that smells good, what is it?"
"I brought a little bit of everything. Seb had something called Bouillabaisse, some kind of fish soup as a special, but given Katie's condition, I wasn't sure if she could have it, so I brought some other stuff too."
Once again, I am stupefied and look at Gus with my mouth hanging open. I can hear Malachi chuckle in the background.
"Excuse me?" I manage to get out.
"Come on, Katie. I'm not blind or stupid. And apparently I'm not the only who guessed either, by the sound of your brother in law's snickering."
"But... but does everyone know?"
This is not how I had envisioned this going. I did not want the entire world to find out without having a chance to tell anyone myself.
"Can't say for sure, but I doubt it. Only one who has seen much of you recently is Neil and he's usually got his head up his ass so far he's staring at his own tonsils. Not for me to tell anyone else, that's up to you, but a word of warning. Don't hold off too long. My Emma has a sixth sense better developed than anyone's I know."
Wrapping his long arms around me, he tucks me under his chin, the shape of him now only a familiar comfort.
"So happy for you. This is what you've always deserved," his voice rumbles from his chest.
Hauling my fist back I punch him in the side.
"Fuck! Ouch, what was that for?" he asks, rubbing his side as I worm out of his grip.
"For making me all emotional and slobbery. Quit saying nice stuff already."
"Fine. I gotta head out anyway. Caleb should be here shortly and I don't wanna overstay my welcome," he says throwing a teasing look my way. My response is to stick out my tongue at him. Very mature.