“Rowan,” he calls out. A few people turn and look, but most people are too busy rushing to their next class to care about me and Eddie. I push my way through the crowded hall to reach him. “I got the car Saturday.”
“That’s great.”
“Is seven okay?”
“Yeah. I work in the afternoon, but I’m off by five, so seven works.”
“Sounds good. Gotta get to class. See you in art.” He leans over and kisses me on the cheek, and then disappears down the hall. I’m too stunned to move, so I just stand there, being buffeted by the swarm of students. I eventually snap back to reality and get to class right on time.
Morgan is already seated. I slide into my seat and give her a meaningful look. She knows something’s up, but we have to wait for the teacher to finish roll call before we can talk. After roll is finished, our teacher gives us our assignments and settles down behind her desk. There’s a subtle buzz as people begin to talk quietly.
“I just saw Eddie,” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
“He’s got the car on Saturday.”
“Awesome.”
“He kissed me on the cheek.” I place my hand on the side of my face, imagining I can still feel his lips on my skin.
“He did not!”
“He did.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“I know, right?” I sigh. “Now I’m freaking out, though. It’s really happening.”
Morgan and I whisper back and forth about hairstyles and outfits. Straight hair versus subtle waves. Casual outfits versus sexy. It’s all too much and I find myself becoming overwhelmed. First dates are always the hardest, and since I don’t know where Eddie is taking me, I can’t make any plans. I make up my mind to ask him for more information when I see him after rehearsal.
In art class, my stomach does its typical flip when I see Eddie, but I’m not nearly as nervous as I was the day before. I make eye contact with him as I walk toward our table.
“Nervous?” he asks, leaning close to me.
“Should I be?”
“Not with me. You ready for rehearsal?”
“Absolutely. I’m calm. I’m cool. I’m a rock.”
“Are we still hanging out after rehearsal?” His mouth is just centimeters from my ear. I shiver as his words roll over me, and my calm, cool demeanor is shattered.
“Definitely,” I say, wishing we could skip rehearsal altogether.
After art, Eddie and I walk to the auditorium. Rehearsal is much better. I trip over a couple of lines, but so does everyone else. The lines are still new to us. At least my voice isn’t trembling and I’m able to infuse some emotion into my lines. I sound less like a fumbling school girl and more like an actress. Even Mr. Fredericks seems relaxed by the time we’ve finished rehearsing, probably relieved that his decision to cast me as Juliet might work out after all.
“You sounded great,” Morgan says as we file out of the auditorium. “You need a ride home?”
“Thanks, but not today.” I turn to Eddie who is standing right behind us.
“Okay, call me later,” Morgan tells me.
As we leave the parking lot, Eddie puts his arm around my shoulders. I stiffen and he withdraws his arm. I’m mentally kicking myself for being so cold. I don’t know why I’m acting this way. It’s not like he’s doing anything inappropriate or moving too fast. In fact, it was just a friendly gesture.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I’m just…tense.”
“No worries,” he says. “Should we go to the park? Or we could take the bus and go to the mall.”
“I’d rather go to the park. Are we going to practice today?”
“Practice what? You’ve got those lines down. Haven’t you figured out by now that practicing lines was just an excuse to get you all to myself?”
I know he doesn’t mean it in an underhanded, sleazy way, but I tense up just the same. I feel sorry for Eddie for having to deal with my jumbo-size baggage. I seriously need to relax and stop assuming every guy I see is out to use me. But telling myself to stop being paranoid about Eddie is like trying to tell a person in the midst of an asthma attack to take a deep breath and relax. I know I need to chill out, but my body and mind have conspired against me, and one fuels the other until I’m a neurotic glob of crazy.
It’s sunny, but cold. Most people think of California as always being warm, but it can get pretty chilly in January. I shiver and move closer to Eddie.
“You cold? You want my jacket?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Maybe we should skip the park and go sit inside Los Tacos. You hungry?”
“No, but I’m thirsty. Los Tacos it is.” We cross the street. The fast-food restaurant is warm and smells like fresh tortilla chips. When we go up to the counter, the cashier greets Eddie in Spanish, and Eddie completes his transaction in the same language, only using English when he asks me what I want.
When we sit down in a booth toward the back of the restaurant, Eddie offers me a taco, but I insist that I’m not hungry. I want to ask about Saturday, but I don’t know how to bring it up without sounding overeager.
“Dress warm Saturday,” he says, giving me my first clue as to what I can expect.
“Okay. Where are we going?”
“Venice Beach.”
“Seriously? That’s so perfect.” I love Venice Beach, though I rarely have a chance to go there. My parents think everyone there are freaks, and Morgan hates trying to find parking. Going by myself makes me nervous, so I haven’t been in forever.
“My cousin owns a restaurant over there, so I thought we could take a walk on the beach afterwards.” He looks very unsure, like he’s expecting me to protest. “Most of the seating at his place is outside, so that’s why I told you to dress warm.”
“Like jeans and a hoodie? Or is that too casual?”
“No, jeans and a hoodie are perfect.”
“I’m so relieved. Now Morgan won’t have to come over and dress me,” I blurt out.
“Dress you? Morgan dresses you?”
My face is heating and probably turning red, but I laugh. “You know. She was going to come over and help me find something to wear so I wouldn’t end up looking stupid.”
“Getting dressed sounds very complicated. I’m glad I’m a guy. I can get dressed on my own.”
“I get dressed on my own every day. Just not for a date.” Crap. Why did I say that? Was it a date? Or were we hanging out as friends?
“So she only dresses you for special occasions,” he says, smiling.
“Exactly.”
“This is probably a stupid question, but did you tell your dad who you’re going out with on Saturday?”
“Um, no. I was sort of hoping…”
“You were hoping we’d get around that by not telling him we were seeing each other?” he asks.
“Right.”
“Your dad and I didn’t really get along, but he was my coach. I respect him. He was always fair, and he gave me a chance on his team. I’m not gonna repay him by sneaking around behind his back with his only daughter.”
Is Eddie freaking kidding? He thinks he can show up at my door without my dad flipping out? Not going to happen.
“What if he says no? What if he tells you he doesn’t want me to go out with you?” I ask.
“Then I’ll tell him I understand how he feels, but that it’s up to you to decide who you’re going to go out with.”
“He’ll love that.” I have a sudden vision of my dad picking Eddie up by the front of his shirt and tossing him out the door. Of course, my dad is smaller than Eddie and there’s no way he could lift him, but that’s not the point. Dad’s not going to stand by and watch me run off into the night with Eddie. He hates him.
Eddie sighs. “Okay, look at it this way. He works at our school. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out we’re together, right? Either he’s gonna see something or hear something. And then he’s gonna feel like a fool for not knowing what’s goi
ng on in his own family. How do you think he’ll react when he finds out his daughter has a boyfriend he didn’t know about?”
For a moment, I can’t speak. I stop caring about my dad and his reaction because all I can think about is the fact that Eddie used the word “boyfriend.” He said we’re “together.” We haven’t even been out on a date, but Eddie is already assuming we’re a couple. Or, maybe he’s thinking of future possibilities. When my brain finally kicks into gear, I realize Eddie is right. I can’t sneak around behind my dad’s back. Not for long. Eddie kissed me on the cheek today. For all I know, my dad might have already heard about it from another teacher. My dad prides himself on his knowledge of the student body and what’s going on in his school. It would be the ultimate show of disrespect for me to try to carry on a secret relationship right under his nose.
“I’ll talk to him tonight,” I say. “You’re right. It would be a huge betrayal to sneak around behind his back. He might not approve. Okay, he definitely won’t approve, but I don’t think he’ll refuse to let me go out with you.”
“I guess we’ll find out. You gonna call me tonight after you talk to him?”
“Yep. Of course, you might be able to hear the yelling and screaming all the way down at your house.”
“Will he really get that upset?”
“No. He saves most of his yelling for the football team. If he gets too out of hand, Mom will intervene. She’ll remind him that I’m eighteen in a few days and they can’t keep me under lock and key forever.”
“Your birthday’s in a few days? When?” he asks. When I don’t answer right away, he says, “If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask Morgan.”
“It’s on Monday.”
“Eighteen?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m older than you by over a year. I failed first grade. I turned nineteen in October.”
“You’re robbing the cradle then, aren’t you?” I tease.
“You don’t look like a baby to me,” he says, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand. I feel drawn to him. If the table wasn’t between us, I’d be kissing him right now. It’s ridiculous how strongly I’m attracted to him. I want him in a way I’ve never wanted anyone before. I’m the first to break eye contact. I look down at our joined hands.
Eddie and I stay in the restaurant until it starts to get dark. As we walk home, he holds my hand. When he pulls me into a hug before he leaves me alone in my driveway, I don’t pull away. My body fits perfectly against his. My head rests neatly against his chest as his arms wrap around me. He kisses the top of my head before he lets me go.
“Talk to you later tonight, chica bonita,” he says.
Maybe Eddie doesn’t realize I took Spanish during my freshman and sophomore years. I don’t understand a ton of Spanish, but I understood what he said to me. Beautiful girl. I am so in love.
Chapter Ten
Dad is in the family room when I approach him. Mom is out shopping. Crap. I’d hoped to get her on my side before approaching Dad, but Eddie is waiting for me to call him, and I want to get this over with.
“I’ve got a date on Saturday,” I say.
“Oh, yeah? With who?”
My hands are trembling, so I shove them into my jacket pockets. I swallow a couple of times before speaking. “Eddie.”
“Eddie. Eddie Velasquez?”
“Yeah. He, uh…” I trail off, certain there’s nothing I can say that will convince him to agree to allow Eddie to take me out.
“No.”
“Dad…”
“No. I can’t believe you’d even consider going out with that troublemaker.”
“Can’t we just talk…?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. As long as you’re living under my roof, you’ll follow my rules. You’re not going out with Eddie and that’s final.” His eyes are blazing and mine are burning with tears.
“Well, thanks a lot for listening. And for giving me a chance to talk. I really appreciate it.” I stomp down the hallway, furious and heartbroken. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain. I told Eddie this was a bad idea. We should have just gone with my original plan to sneak around behind my dad’s back.
I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering what to tell Eddie. Tears are streaming down my face. There’s a knock at my door.
“Rowan? Can I come in?”
“The door’s unlocked.”
He sits at the foot of my bed. I roll over to face the wall.
“You know why I don’t want you to see Eddie, right?”
“Yeah. Because he’s been in trouble.”
“Exactly. People judge you by who you associate with. As a dad, I want you to have an easy life. I don’t want to hear people making comments about you, or judging you just because you’re going out with Eddie.”
“I know. I get that. But I don’t want to judge him based on one mistake. He’s not the first guy to do what he did.”
“But he’s facing criminal charges. This isn’t going to go away for him. He’ll probably end up on probation. Or serving jail time. What father wants that kind of boyfriend for his daughter?”
“I know you don’t like Eddie, but he’s actually a pretty decent guy. He told me he respected you and that he wouldn’t take me out unless I talked to you first. He wanted to come to the house and pick me up, not just meet me somewhere and sneak behind your back.”
Dad is silent for several seconds. “That’s very mature of him. I appreciate his honesty.” After another long pause, he says, “When he comes to pick you up on Saturday, I’ll be nice to him. But I’m going to tell him that if he lays one hand on you, he’ll wish the cops would have kept him when they arrested him at that party. Got it?”
“I don’t think he’d expect anything less from you.” I roll over and face him. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
“I love you too, Row. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” He ruffles my hair and leaves my room, closing the door behind him.
I sigh and pick up my phone. Time to call Eddie.
***
Eddie will be here any minute, and I can’t sit still. I don’t want him to pull into the driveway and catch me staring out the living room window, but it’s hard not to look.
6:57. He’ll be here in three minutes, assuming he’s on time. What if he doesn’t show up? What if he changes his mind about me?
6:58. Are those headlights? Should I dare a quick look out the window? No. Self-control, Rowan. Self-control. I wait for what seems like an eternity, and then I hear a car door slam. My heart is pounding and it’s hard to catch my breath. The doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it,” Dad calls. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the living room, twisting my hands and trying to get a grip. Dad strides past me and opens the door. “Eddie, come on in.”
I’m having a heart attack. Or a panic attack. Eddie is standing in my house and he’s looking at me. Dad’s looking at Eddie like he wants to kill him. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.
“Rowan, why don’t you find your mom so she can meet Eddie?” Dad asks. With an apologetic glance toward Eddie, I leave the room in search of Mom. I’m sure Dad is threatening him with bodily harm. I feel sorry for Eddie, but not too much. After all, it was his idea to be upfront and open with my dad.
Mom’s in the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher. “He’s here?” she asks. I nod. “Let’s give your dad a minute or two. Then we’ll go out and save Eddie from whatever your dad’s lecturing him about.”
“Lecturing or threatening?” I ask, cracking a nervous smile. It feels unnatural, like my face is going to split apart.
“When it comes to his little girl going out on a date, it’s the same thing. He did the same thing with Mark,” she says.
“That’s reassuring,” I mutter under my breath. “Come on, Mom. I don’t want to leave them alone too long.” I’m shifting from one foot to the next, anxious to intervene before Eddie decides he’s too terrified to date me.
&
nbsp; Mom wraps her arms around me in a quick hug. “Remember, you can always call us. We’ll pick you up anywhere, anytime…”
“…no questions asked,” I finish. “I know.”
We walk out to the living room. Eddie is sitting in the stiff, leather chair by the window, while Dad is on the sofa, his elbows on his knees, leaning forward in full lecture mode. Eddie doesn’t look scared, but he’s an actor, so maybe he’s hiding his fear. I want to get him out of there before my dad says something that will embarrass me or scare Eddie away forever.
Eddie stands up and wipes his palms on the front of his jeans before shaking my mom’s hand. A brief introduction takes place.
Dad seems reluctant to let me go. “Drive carefully. Be back here by midnight. Not a minute after. Midnight.”
“Okay, Coach. I mean, yes, Sir,” Eddie says.
“Have fun, kids,” Mom says. Dad glares at her. Obviously, he’s afraid of the kind of fun I might have with Eddie. In a way, so am I.
Eddie and I don’t speak until we’re in the car and he’s backing out of the driveway. “How did it go with my dad?” I ask.
“It was okay. He said he has a friend in the CIA who can make me disappear without a trace.”
“No he didn’t. Did he?”
“Yeah.” Eddie laughs. “Relax, Rowan. Your dad has been yelling at me and threatening me for years. I can take it.”
We’re both quiet for a moment. “Did you like playing football for my dad?” I ask.
“Sure. Your dad was okay for a coach. Honestly, it sucks that I lost my scholarship, but I’m not going to miss playing football. I always liked soccer better, but I was so big for my age, and a year older than most of the kids in my grade—football coaches were all over me.”
“Did you ever play soccer?”
“I still do. I’m on an adult league with my brother and the guys who work for him. It’s a lot of fun. Super intense, though. Some of those old guys get competitive.”
“Wow. I’d love to watch you play sometime.”
“Really? I’m gonna hold you to that. The league starts back up in March. We practice once a week and have games on Sundays. You can be my personal cheerleader.”
Sweet Sorrow Page 8