by ROUNAK PURI
"Well it's any help, it's killing me" said Loop.Oh we like him. 2
Loop got off me and we got back on the bikes and continued. It was strange cycling with the pack. They were called the 7th sevateen (se-va-teen) no I don't know what it meant either. Loop changed places drifted up and down the ranks introducing me to people. The thing that immediately caught my attention was that everyone got on well together. It was like no one hated each other and had to resolve any issues. I guess they'd been sorted out already on previous missions.
"We need to get to town ahead and get orders about you," said Loop looking at map.
Loop told the scouts to change direction we headed towards the outskirts of what was left of a nearby town.
We hid in a forest of white metal columns which held up NMO solar panels above our heads. The marines expertly hacked into the power supplies and use these to get a small electric stove working. I got my first taste of coffee in a long time, gorgeous . Loop had decided that we should camp here for the night. I was given a packet which I was promised was beef stew. It was kind of odd eating as much as I liked. These field rations were meant to keep bulky soldiers alive in battle not for a svelte teenager like me, but I just couldn't stop myself from eating so in the end I started to feel stick. Pity Kayla wasn't around to hear me use words like 'svelte'. I suddenly felt sad.
"Private Whistle," said Loop.6
"Sir Yes Sir" said one long faced young man.
"This girl a has been through a number of traumatic events and is in need of counselling," said Loop indicating me. Wow that was very thoughtful. These were Marines had everything down, right?
Private Whistle took me to the edge of camp for some privacy and we sat down together he started looking into his bag.
"you have been through a traumatic experience and I as a trained para-professional I'm here to help you cope with your experience," Whistle said.
I was very impressed with the thoroughness of these marines not only could they rescue the old slave in distress they could also help me with my super tanker load of problems bought out by the robot apocalypse my enslavement and everything.
Whistle pulled out a piece of paper which had been laminated it looked very crumpled and he looked down
"Where was I?" he began reading out the words on the card "oh I am. here .to .help .you. cope. without sorry. with. your . experience. It. is. not. unusual. for. newly. freed. slaves .to .have. a .set. of. emotional .problems .which. are. let. loose .from .your .time. in .captivity."2
"Wouldn't it be easier if I just read this to you?" I said.1
"but I'm not the one that has been rescued," said Whistle " To. further. help. me. with. your. complex emotional needs I would like you to tell me if you have been suffering. from .any. of .the .following symptoms."
"OK" I said.
"headaches," he said.
"No" I said. He ticked it off his checklist.
"nausea"
"nope" I said.
"feelings of guilt?"
"Not yet" I said but I was starting to feel weird about evertything.
"Indecision and lack of concentration"
"I can't decided," I said .9
"Yes or no" said Private Whistle.
"No"
Private Whistle continued "Nausea and vomiting"
"Only at the food" I said.
"Yeh I get, that it doesn't count," said Whistle "Insomnia?"
"haven't even had a chance to sleep yet." I said
"No, then...."
We carried on, and on, and least they didn't need sleeping pills if I had problems we could go though this list again. We ended with "Frequency of urination or urinary incontinence"
"No," I said for the hundredth time.
Private Whistle looked up from his checklist while wiping marks off the check listwith his cuff.
He leant back and shouted "Sir It's OK she's cured Sir" to Loop.4
"Good work soldier" shouted Loop.
"Rescued slaves front and centre" shouted Rodi.
I walked up.
"Okay here's the plan" said Loop "we believe you may be a SOSV."
"SOSV?" I said.
"Slave of significant value" said Rodi.
"I'm glad, because my first guess was sausage on a stick volunteer" I said.10
"I need to get orders from alpha control. And I need you to be recognised. We need to get to a landline to phone them up"
"Seriously you dialling out for orders like pizza?" I asked.
"We run out of pigeons" admitted Loop.8
"Oh okay continue," I said.
"The nearest secret landline is hidden in a small town about a click Down the road. We believe it to be unoccupied. Most recent intelligence has had no sentience activity in this area for a month now. There may be automatics but we have plenty of ways of getting passed them. A small team will approach by automous support transport, contact with alpha command then engage in any targets of resource acquisition that may become available. If the team becomes fragmented for any reason they are to rendezvous back here with Sgt Rodi." said Loop.4
"Meaning..." I said.
"If we see some proper clothes for you we will get them" said Loop.
"Okay and how big is this team" I asked.
"Smallest team possible. You and me."
"So to summarise you and I are going to cycle town to make a phone call and do some shopping. If I get lost come back her" I said.5
"good summary" said Loop.
"Now about your makeup," said Sgt Rodi.
"Why does everyone wants to tell me how to look?I just want to get it off" I said.
"No we are going to put more on," said Sgt Rodi.
"You guys seriously don't believe in underdressing for a cycle ride do you?" I said.
A little later I pulled my face out of the makeup printer looked in the mirror and had the weirdest view ever. It was like Picaso had been let loose on my face. Loop had pulled a long lock of hair over his left eye and drawn marks on his cheeks.
"What's with the war paint?" I said
"Confuses the face recognition systems. If we walk carefully they won't see you as a human. They will not 'see' you as a something to be captured or shot'." said Loop. I was given a flack jacket and a kind of camouflage poncho which broke up my human shape.2
"That sounds crazy." I said.
"It's crazy enough to work. Don't worry I've done it plenty of times" said Loop.
"How many is plenty?" I said.
"up to 100 times" said Loop.+
"My dad said up to 100, includes zero and -1"2
"Well looks like your dad was right" said Loop
***
Chapter 82/Resistance/Look who's behind the robot revolt
I borrowed a bike from Private 'Whistle' and we cycled to the town. The cycling motion Loop told me wasn't seen as 'human' parameter space so the machines assumed we were some kind of machine and ignored us. We approached slowly. From my point of view it looked completely like a normal town on a Sunday morning. Then I saw a sentry sentinel machine sitting at the entrance to the town. It was basically a turret mounted gun on the ground. Its entire life choice was moving left or right and killing something hows that for a dull life.2
"OK princess you drop behind me. Anything goes wrong play dead wait for Rodi."3
'It's at times like these I feel so much better I'm with you rather than safely locked up in a cage' I thought.2
The turret tracked our movements smoothly and precisely, but did nothing.
"Don't worry about the gun turret. It's for stopping bigger things like tanks and trucks. Most of them are out of ammunition. It's job is to take our attention away from the auto snipers on the tops of buildings, dear" said Loop aka Mr Reassurance.
"You see you know just how to reassure a girl, could I be any more freaked out?" I said.
As we did we passed a telegraph pole after telegraph pole and I noticed that stapled to it was a paper poster. It had picture of me. It had a huge wante
d sign. So I was able to answer my own could I be more freaked out question with a resounding 'yes'.
REWARD
MISSING PET
SLAVE
answers to name of Jenny2
Collar ID 5642, Breed: human Model: 127/c
My beloved pet 'Jenny' Last seen in this sector on 02.92.1.4 was last seen being taken away by a hunter-killer with a missing leg. Very friendly, but not very good at ending sentences respectfully. Last wearing black silicon unitard and iCollar 3.0 ( may have been removed or switched ), eyes brown like chocolate kissing gold and star light flecks. Great sentimental value and very much missed.11
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONTACT LORD ROCKWOOD
on 05938503948530445832043823049283403294802721
REWARD FOR SAFE RETURN
with my picture with the words 'have you seen this slave?' at the bottom . I was starting to wonder about this. Zola had sold me a line - but I had seen Rockwood say he didn't love me and was just using me. I guess he just wanted his property back. I felt weird but over him, the bubble had burst and the soap had got in my eye.2
Loop pulled into a side alley out of sight of the turret and the guns. He stopped got off and I pulled in behind him.
"Hay we passed a StarBucks on the way in. Fancy going in and looting your self a coffee ?" said Loop.
"We should loot coffee at Carabou Coffee it's cheaper" I said smiling.
Loop heard something and turned. He crept to the corner and used a tiny mirror to peek, his face dropped. The smile had been lost now it was stern.
"Cyborgs why did it have to be cyborgs" whispered Loop to him self in horror.6
"They have cyborg's posted here? I thought they were mostly the important guys like generals?" I whipsered.
"No princess you have it all wrong. The machines turned lots of animals into cyborg's. With machine upgrades the animals are smart enough to talk and to run local units like this. Look" said Loop.
"There you go have a look" he said handing me the mirror and switching sides.2
I looked in the mirror in the distance I saw what looked to be a paddock with horses, they were running around. Then I saw the horns on the horses fore heads.
"Unicorns?" I said.16
"Unicorns from your worst nightmare. The antenna on their heads allows them to control the targeting systems of many robots with their minds. If they are running the show we could be in luck."
"Your saying this place is run by cybernetically enhanced unicorns?" I said.4
"If we are lucky princess" whispered Loop.
"And IF we are unlucky?" I said looking at the horses play. I heard voices shouting to each other.
"There , there might be a few sheep around the place," said Loop trying to be casual.4
"Sheep.? Did you mean sheep - like Baa sheep " I said.1
"Never say Baa to the sheep. Sheep only if we are unlucky. You don't get cyber cattle this far north and most of the cyber pigs are still in the middleeast and subjugating Ohio" assured Loop.9
"So we have to be scared of some sheep? I think the marines have lost their edge." I said.1
Loop sat back on the ground in the alley way.
"The A.I's upgraded a bunch of the sheep to sentience, human level intelligence" .
"I know what sentience is" I said.
" Then the cyber-sheep discover that not only were they being consumed in massive numbers for meat but then they were being specifically breed for domestication. You suddenly become like five times smarter and discover your children have a year to live and yeah they they got a little cranky. By cranky, I mean swore blood vengeance on the entire human population. You look at any human atrocity and there are probably a bunch of blood crazed sheep behind it. Their worse than the pigs and the cyber bulls put together*. The unicorns are far more reasonable they might let you live, sell you into slavery after giving you good kicking, possibly dragging your round for a bit, for a laugh. You get caught by a troop of robots lead by cyber-sheep and your looking at a meat hook through your foot, having your throat slit and hanging there for five minutes while your blood runs out into a bucket and the sheep reads out a prayer about revenge. You heard about Austin right?"2
"Something big?" I said.
"Then I won't tell you much it will give you nightmares" said Loop.
Then I remembered just-read-the-instructions telling me 'I keep reminding my self I was one of the few to make it out of Austin alive' and thought *crap*. Maybe when Rockwood talked about the quad-fraction of the Cyborg council he was referring to the cyber animals, quad as in four legs. Looks like a huge amount of our former domestic stock had just been upgraded and was out for 10,000 years of revenge. That was super reassuring.1
"So it's like animal farm but with heavy weaponry." I said. I don't think Loop got the book reference, clearly my miss-spent youth reading didn't translate.6
Loop got up, grabbed me and kissed me "For luck" he said. Not to be outdone I kissed him back.4
"What was that for?" he said.
"To show I'm not superstitious" I said.2
When I did I looked at his shoulder, there was a black mechanical spider on it. I knocked it off with my hand. Loop spun round and slammed a shot into it. The silenced gun sounded more like flatulance than a shot.
"Surveillance drones!" said Loop then he looked down. "Your leg!"
I looked down to my ankle to see something gripping round it. It was a small legged drone it raised a tail like a scorpion and before I could do anything it stung me. I felt like I was a woopy chusion deflating. All I could sense was that the sound of Loop desperately firing. The staccato burps, sounded like a room full of cowboys after eating bean stew for a week. I felt reassured I was falling asleep, I was wanted alive, I would come out of this..1
***
* to be honest this sheep are worse than pigs/cattle debate is one which goes in many free human camps around the world. It all really depends upon who you lost most people to. Unicorns are nearly universally held as preferable in terms of surrendering to (if you have to). If it helps the cyborgs also debate the who has the better reason to hate humans which is similarly unresolved. In the interests of fair play we will point out this is Loop's personal opinion for reasons which will become clear in some future appendix. Feel free to suggest which animal would be likely to be the most revengy if brought up to sentience.
Chapter 83/Resistance/I never thought unicorns had a german accent
I came too. I had the familiar feeling of being tied to a chair. One thing no one ever seems to tell you about waking up tied to a chair is you tend to end up with a really bad crick in your neck. Like seriously bad, how anyone is expected to escape after being unconscious while tied to a chair without a couple of Advil is beyond me.1
Thinks came into focus, we were in a large hall, some kind of sports hall. If I guess except the ground was covered with Astro turf. In the distance I saw - horses. No unicorns, pretty unicorns. Then my pre injection conversation came to mind.
"Princess you awake?" I heard a voice near me, I looked over.
"Yoh -Loop you OK ?" I said. I looked to my right and saw Loop tied up with an industrial quantity of rope.
"Sort of my neck hurts and I have really bad pins and needles in my legs" he said
"Your crageing ? Just wiggle your toes" I said helpfully.
"I don't know what's worse being tied up with pins and needles or knowing that slaves do it so often they have a word for it!" said Loop.
"Hey, I said exactly the same thing! It's like bizarre right?" I said "The good news is they didn't use hemp rope. It looks nice and vintage but it burns like hell for days afterwards. They are using nylon rope which is much better it doesn't ich... Sorry that was more slave craft than you wanted to know wasn't it?"
"uhu" said Loop nodding slowly.
A horse came up. It had an antenna coming out of the forehead. You got to ask yourself if they can see it. Is the horn like your nose, invisible, or do you have this stick permanently
in your life of sight all the time? Do the antenna/break off ? Does it hurt if you knock it? Hmm you got to wonder if they thought this horn stuff all through.
"The antiserum has vorked. The stallion and the filly are awake" announced a very electronic germanic voice. I looked to my left ( ow my shoulder it was killing me ) to see a large white unicorn.
"Oh, I never thought unicorns' had a cliched german accent" I said aloud, stupid right? I'm blaming the drugs.
"Robot" said the unicorn looking down on me. A four-armed robot about the size of a chimp climbed up on me and slapped my face then got down.1
"It is not a cliched German accent, it is a cliched Austrian accent, unt get it right" said the unicorn.13
"Sorry" I said.
The robot got up and hit me again.
"You say Sorry Master, slave" said the Unicorn. While we spoke another couple of horses came over to watch. Each one had a robot guard and a human servant with it.
"Hey" said Loop "you guys are exactly the ones I'm looking for. I am Loop Guru independent runaway finder and I have a fantastic proposition for you. If you would to released me we can get down to business. "
"Would your proposition involve you screaming for mercy while we dragked you round on a vope? Other wise I don't vink we would be interested.
"You don't understand. I've got runaway slave here. I've captured her and with your help we could split the reward money 50-50" said Loop.1
"I am not a runaway, I was stolen" I said the serum still was obviously having a weird effect on me it was bringing out my inner pedant.
"I'd pay the price of a slave, just to watch you die, I'm so bored" said the horse "and just who are vue ?" .
"I said - I'm Loop Guru independent runaway finder" said Loop. My mind did an emergency hand break stop on Loop. Independent runaway finder WTF?
"Ver are no mercenaries in this sector" said the unicorn dangerously.
"We followed her from sector Zed Zed Nine Plural Zed Alpha. Talk to your man there, ask them. We have a licence to capture or kill" said Loop.1
Oh my god I've been betrayed again what is it with me, boys and stupidity. I clearly have trust issues my central issue being I shouldn't trust anyone. Not to self, don't trust these breathing bipeds it's just asking for trouble.