by R. L. Syme
The small, dark room seemed to close around her. She hadn’t meant to send him away. Why hadn’t she thought more before she explained about Maas? Why did it seem so simple in her head, but when she opened her mouth, she couldn’t make him see why it would be all right?
Tears flooded her eyes. She wanted nothing more than for him to hold her at that moment. And by God, she wouldn’t let him walk out on her.
Valc reeled on the deck, but not from the wind. He hadn’t expected the admission she’d let loose in the captain’s bed. These last days had been more tumultuous than he had ever expected when he took on a beautiful blonde passenger.
He wished he could say it had all been worth it, that knowing Cadha was worth the heartache, but he couldn’t. He’d never had his heart broken before—never cared enough to let a woman mean something to him—and in the short time since he’d known Cadha, she had brought the hurricane of emotion he’d never seen coming.
It would be just his luck that the first woman he fell in love with would belong to another man.
Valc walked out below the mizzenmast and was about to grab the bulkhead for support when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t want Cadha to try to speak to him in that moment, and he recoiled.
She took one step past him, hauled back, and knocked him in the jaw. Valc teetered on one foot and righted himself.
“Good Lord, woman.” He held his aching face and glared at her. “I should have known to question the depth of your affection. You punch me more than you kiss me.”
Cadha wrinkled up her adorable nose and lunged at him. Her lips connected with his in such violence, he staggered back against the masthead. Valc eased his arms around her, if only for stability, and found his footing.
He set her away from him on the deck, his breath coming fast, both from the shock of her punch to his face, and from his blood’s response to her proximity. Valc bent over and rested his hands on his legs. He needed his wits about him before he engaged.
But as soon as he stood again, Cadha jumped on him once more and assaulted him with kisses. He peeled her off and placed her on her feet.
“Stop,” he said.
“But, Valc…”
“No. Stop.”
She leaned back on her heels and for the first time, he noticed that she was stripped down to her shift, and her hips and breasts and shoulders were visible to God and everyone through the thin fabric.
Valc scooped her up and carried her back into the captain’s cabin. He threw her down on the bed and backed away.
“Can you just sit still for a minute while I think?”
“What do you need to think about?” She crawled toward him and he could see hints of her skin peeking out from under her shift, even in the dark of the cabin.
“Your… confession.” He held up his hands. “You just stay there, and I’ll stay here, and we can both think.”
“I don’t need to think,” she said. “I’m done thinking.”
He took another step toward the door. “You do need to think, even though you don’t know it.”
“I’ve been thinking my whole life, Valc.” She shook her head and sat back on her heels. “I spent so much time alone, waiting and thinking and hoping. I need to act.”
Valc chuckled to himself. “You may not need to think, Cadha, but I do. We have been in life-and-death situations for the last three days, and that can play with a person’s mind.”
She climbed off the bed, but he took another step toward the door.
“I don’t even know if I love Maas anymore. He’s been like my brother most of my life. He hasn’t even kissed me yet.”
Valc shook his head. “None of that matters.”
“You’re angry that I lied to you?”
The air hung heavy between them. He could hear Cadha breathing and making small protesting sighs, but she didn’t speak, and it was best she didn’t.
“You’ve been through a harrowing journey. You should sleep.” He settled her onto her back. Without a candle, he couldn’t see the look on her face, but he could imagine exactly the guilt-laden glare she was passing along in the dark.
His face still hurt from her punch, and his lips were raw from her violent kisses. He sat on the edge of the bed and found her hand.
“Cadha, you are just learning about life. You are barely old enough to be properly wed, and you ventured out on your own to chase after a boy you thought you were going to marry. Instead, you found a man who fell in love with you, and he is not going to take advantage of the situation.”
When he tried to rise, she held tight to his hand.
“I don’t think I can sleep without you here.” The petulant note in her voice drove his blood in a breakneck race through every inch of him.
He covered her with the blanket and then laid down beside her, on top of the itchy thing. Valc laced his fingers behind his head. “Get some sleep,” he said. “You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”
She yanked her arms out from underneath the cocoon and slipped them around his waist. He did not protest when she laid her head on his chest. Her body heat would keep him warm. And her touch would set his blood to heat the rest of him.
“I don’t even know if I love him,” she whispered.
He sighed. “You don’t know if you love me, either.” He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. “Go to sleep, Cadha.”
Her breath was steady in a few short minutes. Valc, however, wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with her hands on him. He hadn’t slept since he found her again, and even though his heart told him it was the right thing to do, he wasn’t sure how he would ever let her go.
Chapter Fourteen
Valc managed to ignore her in all their waking hours. He convinced Brother Auden to translate his wishes to the captain and ended up working the rigging on the topsail most of the morning. One of the center rigs had come loose during a previous storm, the old Scot said, and no one wanted to finish the work because it required hanging upside-down from the mast.
But Valc didn’t mind hanging from his knees above the deck for a few hours. And those few hours had turned into sitting on the topmast, looking out across the sea, wondering if he and Auden would be able to find Balfour and if his ship would be there.
Even if he could sneak onto the ship and retrieve the box—assuming they hadn’t found it—he would be able to ease his anxiety. He owed Greta that much.
They hadn’t told the trader about their eventual trek to Balfour. It was best if no one knew of their plans. Valc didn’t even plan to tell Cadha. Once he’d deposited her with her betrothed and his family, he and Auden would work on the rest of the plan.
He owed it to Cadha to see her as far as the door of her intended.
When they came in sight of a large fortress in the late afternoon and the captain began to bark orders, Valc’s ears perked up. Auden called up to him. “Come down, brother.”
Valc swung down to find Cadha standing with the monk. He tried his best to ignore her.
The crew loosed the small boat that sat alongside the quarterdeck. Men crowded around the ropes and heaved the boat into the air until they could rig it.
The captain pointed to Auden and said something. Both Cadha and the monk nodded.
Valc leaned in to Auden’s side. “What are they saying?”
“That’s Castle St. Claire,” the monk said in low tones. “They were asking if this was the place where her brother had been taken.”
Valc sneered. “Yes. Her brother was taken there.”
“They offered to take us ashore instead of going all the way to Wick, where we would have to register with the dock agent.” Auden pointed toward the open sea.
The grey stone castle rose out of the sheer cliffs, with only a short, empty beach below and a road winding up the side of one craggy hill. The crew had lowered the boat and two of them climbed down to it.
Auden helped Cadha over the edge, then went over himself. As she climbed down, she pinned Valc with a sh
arp gaze. There was so much longing in her eyes. So much desire. But was there love? He could not tell. She needed to resolve her thoughts. Set her heart on one man and stay that course. It would be best for them both if she learned to do this.
Cadha did not love him. Not in any meaningful way. It was best for her to see through the journey to find the man who had been promised her hand. Valc wouldn’t even go along.
The captain gestured for him to follow and Auden yelled up. “He says you must follow your… wife.”
Valc exhaled sharply. His wife. How that lie had come back to bite him securely in the arse. He never should have lied.
He climbed down into the boat. The captain leaned over the railing and yelled something down. He tossed a small purse into the boat and Brother Auden bowed his head in response.
“What is this?” Valc wondered.
“He said we did not eat as much as he thought, so he’s giving us part of our fare in return.” Auden put his hands together in a prayerful gesture and bowed one more time to the captain. He yelled something up to the ship and the crew pushed off the small boat.
A good portion of their money weighed heavily in Valc’s hand. They had paid handsomely for their spots, but the heft seemed nearly to match what Valc had given.
“Why would he do this?” Valc asked.
“I told him of Cadha’s capture, and of the trade room. He was disgusted and said he knows some of the men who brought girls to that vile place. He wishes they would all burn in hell.”
“He’s not alone in that,” Cadha’s voice was so small and so fragile, Valc wanted to scoop her up and hold her like a child. He did his best to tamp down that thought and scooted to the edge of his seat.
“Everyone wishes they could do more,” Auden said. “He is not the only one who tries to make the problem better.”
The waves lapped at the side of the boat and the air cooled dramatically the closer they rowed toward shore. The two crewmen took to the rowing, but Valc soon took over. They were a good piece out.
“They won’t be expecting us,” Cadha said. “Should we put up a white flag?”
Valc had a flash of memory. “It was a white flag that got us into this mess in the first place, I believe.”
There was an edge of laughter in her voice when she replied, “I wasn’t the one who surrendered, Valc.”
No. No, she wasn’t.
Cadha climbed up the road, leaving Valc and his monk behind. She had tried to speak with him the entire day, and been rebuffed and ignored for her troubles.
She would make him see. She would bring him to Maas and make him realize that she really did love her reluctant rogue. He could take his time to think—Lord knew, he’d taken all day—and she would show him in the end.
Valc and Brother Auden followed her as she wound her way up to the castle. Valcymer said something in Auden’s language and they conversed that way for several minutes, but Cadha didn’t care about translating. She only needed to find Maas.
When they reached a door, Cadha pounded. It was heavy and made of wood. They stood in the whipping wind for several minutes before they heard a commotion inside.
An old woman’s face appeared through the narrow opening. “What do you need?” she asked in lilting Gaelic. “We don’t have any table scraps, if you’re here to beg. They’ve all been distributed for the day.”
“I’m here to see Maas Maasen,” Cadha said. “I am the daughter of Brecht de Witt.”
The woman’s eyebrows raised. “We’ve had one of his daughters here already.”
“That would be Josephine, my sister.”
“And who are you?” The lady gestured to Auden and Valc.
“They’re my protectors. They brought me here to see Maas.” Cadha waved at them. Valc’s questioning look reminded her that he couldn’t understand Gaelic. She repeated their conversation in Dutch.
“Tell her we can leave if she would prefer not to admit strangers,” Valc said, his tone even and calm.
Cadha shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I meant Auden and myself.” Valc’s lips pressed into a rigid line.
“You’re not going anywhere either,” Cadha ordered. Her eyes flickered to the monk with some worry, but Valc must have revealed the true nature of their relationship to him. They had been through much together. Of course Valc would confide in him.
She turned back to the servant. “We can wait here if you’d prefer not to admit us.”
“Follow me.” The old woman hobbled into the castle. They wound their way up a set of stairs and into a hallway. Children’s voices echoed off the walls and the old woman disappeared through a big door.
At the front of the room, on what would have been the dais, was a collection of furs and blankets, spread across the raised platform. Several bodies rolled among the material and Cadha could see that some of them were children.
The old woman clapped her hands and called out, “Master Erlan.”
Maas’s face appeared over a tented piece of fabric. Cadha hadn’t prepared herself for the impact of seeing him again after so long. Her muscles tensed, her mouth dropped open, her breath urged her forward.
She ran up the dais and threw herself into his arms. The children continued to play around his feet, laughing and squealing.
“Cadha, what are you doing here?” he asked in halting Dutch.
Tears drenched her cheeks before she knew she’d even begun to cry. “Pien said you weren’t coming back.”
Maas gripped her in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I didn’t have time to prepare a letter, and I didn’t know if it would be opened, anyway. I can’t believe you are here.”
“I came as soon as Papa returned.”
Maas gestured to the children giggling on the ground. “These are the Sinclair children.”
“Malcolm’s?”
Maas laughed and tousled the orange hair of the oldest girl who came to stand beside him. “Not Malcolm’s. Not yet. But his brothers’ children. We were just playing before supper.”
“Let me take them out, sir,” the old woman said in Gaelic. She bustled four heads out into the hallway, saying something about washing up.
“I want you to meet someone.” Cadha turned to the room and pointed to Valc and Auden. “These men traveled with me. They saved me when we fell into peril. I have so much to tell you.”
Valc’s eyes dropped, but Cadha cut off whatever thought was forming in his head. “Valcymer Vanhorn. This is Maas Maasen.”
Maas offered his hand to Valc. “It’s actually Erlan Mason.”
Cadha cocked her head to one side. “Erlan? Is that… Master Erlan? Is that you?”
“It was my name when I was a boy.” Maas’s eyebrows drew together. “It is my given name.”
Valc finally came forward and took Maas’s hand. “My name is Valc. Your betrothed hired me to bring her to you, and I have done that.”
Maas shifted his gaze to Cadha. “You told him?”
“I had to.”
The monk stepped forward and bowed. He said something in English, to which Maas responded. Valc’s lips tightened.
“A monk?” Maas almost laughed, his bright eyes wide. “From Lindisfarne? How do you always find these people, Cadha?”
“We need to talk,” she said. “Alone.”
Valc bowed to Maas and Cadha smacked him. “You don’t have to bow to him, Valc. He’s not your lord.”
The dark anger in Valc’s eyes silenced her. Frustration whirled inside. Why was he still angry with her? She was trying to fix everything and he was mad.
“I’ll bow to whom I please, Miss.” Valc stepped back and turned to leave. Brother Auden followed.
“Don’t go,” Cadha called out. She left Maas and ran after Valc. “Please. Stop. You have to let me speak to him.”
“I don’t need your help, Cadha. Auden and I will retrieve the ship. I’ve done what you paid me to do. I brought you to Scotland.”
&n
bsp; “And now you’re just going to leave?”
“It’s not safe for me to remain anywhere the English king has a reach.” Valc nodded to Auden. “Let me leave in peace, Cadha. We’ll part ways and the world will be better off for it.”
“Please,” Maas called from behind her. “You won’t make much progress tonight. Stay for supper. We’ll offer you a bed for the night, and you can make your way in the morning.”
He came down to stand beside her and Cadha’s shoulders flexed, expecting a touch that never came.
“Let me at least thank you in some way for ensuring Cadha’s safety all this way.” Maas ushered Valc over to one of the long tables. “If you wait here, Willa can bring you some bread. I’ll be back and show you to the guest quarters.”
Valc’s face lined with concern. “You needn’t treat us as guests. We should sleep on the road, and get as far as we can this night.”
Cadha took his hand and pulled him down into the chair. “Please. Stay. Just let me speak with Maas. Please.”
Something in his eyes told her there would be no happy ending for them. Only sadness lingered there. She longed to see it replaced with love, once more.
“Yes, please do stay. I’m sure my sister Lilian and her husband will want to meet you.” Maas put a hand on Valc’s shoulder and gestured to Brother Auden. “Both of you.”
“Very well,” Valc said. “But only until the morning. Then, we leave for Balfour.”
Cadha took a deep breath and allowed Maas to drag her from the room, promising privacy elsewhere. She watched Valc and hated the fact that she was responsible for the anguish on his face.
If she had told him about Maas from the beginning, would he hate her less? Or love her less?
Truth be told, she wasn’t sure which she preferred.
Chapter Fifteen
Valc endured an awkward meal where most of the conversation was in a language he didn’t understand. He and Auden maintained regular conversation with Maas’s sister, Lilian.