by Rhonda Shaw
That night, the Rockets were struggling to come back from a two-run deficit. Coach Brooklyn had yanked the starting pitcher, Mueller, a few innings before after he’d given up six straight runs and turned the reins over to the bullpen. So far, they’d been successful in stopping the Cleveland Buffalos from scoring again and the Rockets’ offense had slowly scratched and clawed their way back in. Jerry glanced at the scoreboard and wished the game would move a bit quicker, knowing the few fans in the stands felt the same way. He was cold and bored, and he needed a distraction from the worries that filled his head.
Just as Jerry was trying to figure out how to entertain himself, Chase stood up from the opposite end of the bench and walked his direction. Lost in thought, Chase presented the perfect opportunity for Jerry to mess with him. He knew his teammates kept one eye on him, figuring he always had something up his sleeve, and that cracked him up almost as much as the pranks themselves. But he was patient and waited for those perfect moments when one of them let their guard down.
As Chase crossed in front of him Jerry shouted, “Heads up!” and pretended to reach forward and snag something out of the air near Chase’s head.
Chase saw this out of the corner of his eye and threw his hands up as he ducked away, convinced a foul ball was coming right at him. When nothing happened and the players around him started to snicker, he turned and spotted Jerry laughing hysterically next to him.
“You’re such a punk,” Chase said as he punched him in the shoulder. “I should know better with you by now.”
“That was beautiful, man,” Jerry said as he continued to laugh so hard tears streamed down his face. “What a flinch!” He mimicked Chase throwing his hands up and clenching his eyes shut.
“You must really be bored to pull that one,” Chase grumbled, but he was always a good sport about Jerry’s pranks, and he sat down next to him on the bench.
“Bored and cold. It’s brutal out here tonight,” he said as he wiped at his cheeks.
“I hear ya,” he said as he nodded in agreement. “Hey, did you hear about Scott Adams?”
“What about him?”
“He’s taking the pitching coach job down in Dayton.”
“Really?” Jerry asked. “Good for him.”
Scott Adams was the reason many teams shied away from signing long, multi-year deals with pitchers. He had been the Ace of the Los Angeles Quakes in his day, the backbone of their organization—just like Jerry. After the Quakes had signed him, they’d proceeded to build the team around him, believing he would lead them to multiple pennant wins, but then he’d started to struggle. He couldn’t find the plate, was unable to get anyone out and gave up runs left and right, despite having been one of the most feared pitchers in the league only the season before. He’d never fully recovered, and his fall from the spotlight had been quick. For years, it had been as if he’d never existed, and while Jerry was pleased to hear he was making his way back to the game, he was a little surprised.
Adams’s story always made Jerry feel uneasy. To realize how easy it was to lose it all was scary as hell, even though he was convinced it would never happen to him. He and Scott were two different people and Jerry could handle the pressure. He knew how to keep things off the field, that only he could be on the mound whenever it was his turn in the rotation. Scott obviously couldn’t.
“Hopefully he can help others so they don’t go through what he did,” Chase was saying.
Just then, Matt caught a foul ball for the last out of the inning and returned to the dugout. He plopped down on the bench next to Jerry and started to remove his catching gear.
“Got a girl for you, Smutty,” he announced.
“Oh, yeah? Who’s that?”
“By the visitor’s dugout, first row. Long blond hair, big tits.”
Jerry glanced across the field and immediately spotted the woman Buck was talking about. It was cold out, but she was still wearing a tight, red Rockets T-shirt that definitely put her assets out on display. Lots of girls like that came to the games, trying to catch the attention of the guys on the field—sometimes it worked and they were asked for their numbers, sometimes it didn’t.
Jerry continued to look at her, waiting for some spark of interest to hit. When he felt absolutely nothing, he shook his head.
“Nah, no thanks.”
Matt and Chase both looked stunned.
“What? Why wouldn’t you be all over that? She’s hot, Smutty. A sure thing,” Matt insisted.
Jerry shrugged. “Just not interested. Sorry.”
He definitely was not going to tell them that he wasn’t interested because another blonde had caught his attention for the moment. Even though they had agreed to be nothing but casual and although they hadn’t actually done anything yet, he still didn’t feel like he should be scoping around.
Matt shook his head as he stood up to snag a cup of water. “Okay, man. Your loss.”
Chase and Jerry watched him walk away before Chase shot Jerry a puzzled look. Jerry knew that he was thinking that any other time Jerry would have been all about getting the girl’s number, but Chase eventually just shrugged and let it drop.
“So, how’s the house hunting going?” Chase asked, changing the subject.
On the back burner, Jerry thought. His focus had quickly flipped from trying to find a house to breaking down Karen’s defenses.
“It’s going okay. Found a couple that I like,” he said instead.
“But?” Chase pressed, reading between the lines.
“I don’t know. Guess I’m still contemplating whether I want to make the commitment, put the stake in the ground, you know.”
“And how are things with Karen?”
Jerry jerked his head around in surprise. “What do you mean by that?”
Chase’s eyes widened a bit. “I didn’t mean anything. I was just wondering if she was behaving or being a pain to work with.”
“Oh!” Jerry smiled slowly as relief washed over him.
He wasn’t sure why, but he thought it would be best to keep the arrangement between him and Karen quiet. He had a feeling if others found out they would be in their business and trying to force them into something they didn’t want, like a relationship.
“She’s been fine. She’s actually very good at what she does. She’s showed me some nice places.”
Chase studied him for a minute before he looked back out to the field. “I was worried that you’d want to pull your hair out after a while, dealing with her.”
He nodded, suppressing the urge to laugh. “Yeah, no. It’s good.”
It’s real good, Jerry thought, thinking back on the night in the car. He’d really wanted to kiss her some more, maybe take her to his place and start to make good on their agreement, but something told him to wait, that the timing wasn’t quite right yet. So, he’d fought every urge to pull her against him, to put his hands all over her and feel her hands on him, and only gave her a chaste good-night kiss on the cheek. Jerry knew that wasn’t what she’d been expecting and had seen the looks of surprise and disappointment on her face when nothing more happened; even he was a bit shocked with himself. He didn’t know exactly what he was waiting for, but he had a feeling he’d know when it was time. He just hoped he could survive the tension between them until then.
“What are you thinking about?” Chase’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
“What? Oh, nothing.”
“You’re sitting there with a stupid grin on your face,” he pointed out.
“That’s my normal look.”
“That’s it, isn’t it? You like her, don’t you?”
“Like who?” Jerry asked, even though he knew exactly whom he was talking about.
“Karen. You like her. That’s why you’re not interested in that blonde over there. You’re interested
in Karen.”
Jerry shook his head. “Of course I like her. She’s funny and a crack-up to be around, but I don’t like her like her. And I just don’t feel like dealing with that blonde tonight, that’s it. Nothing to read into there. It has nothing to do with Karen.”
Chase narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think I believe you. She’d be right up your alley. Both of you are commitmentphobes.”
“I’m not a commitmentphobe,” he scoffed as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “I just don’t want to feel like I’m stuck in anything. It’s completely different.”
“Why won’t you buy one of the houses you like, Smut?” Chase asked.
“It isn’t because I’m afraid to,” he implored. “I just don’t know if I want to take it on at this moment in time. It’s a lot of responsibility and it’s not like we’re around a lot, as you know.”
“But you could pay people to take care of all that. Why, Smut?” he pressed.
“When did you get a psychology degree? What’s with you being extremely annoying all of a sudden?” Jerry asked.
Chase grinned. “Just trying to get you to admit it.”
“There’s nothing to admit, you ass.”
“Sure, Smutty,” he said as he stood up and started to walk away. “No commitment issues with you. That’s why you’ve never had a girlfriend longer than a couple of weeks and why you won’t put an offer on one of the houses you actually like.”
“Wait!” Jerry said as he shifted on the bench toward Chase, who was smiling as he walked backward. “Didn’t I just sign a long-term deal? That sounds like a commitment to me!”
Chase laughed and shook his head. “Whatever, dude. You signed your paycheck, that’s what you did. No comparison, my man.”
Jerry smiled back at him, knowing he was right. “You’re an asshole!” he yelled as Chase’s laughter floated on the breeze.
Chase didn’t know what he was talking about. He wasn’t afraid to commit to things; he just liked to wait until he was sure it was the right decision. Not being a hundred percent sure if he really wanted the responsibility of a new house, even though he was way tired of the condo, seemed like a valid reason to wait, in Jerry’s opinion. It wasn’t because he was scared to commit. And just because he hadn’t met a girl that he didn’t find smothering or that he wanted to spend more than a couple of weeks with didn’t mean that he shied away from a commitment. He didn’t want to be tied down. It was completely different.
Then what was holding him back with Karen? Jerry wondered. It was the ideal situation. She’d agreed with him that she didn’t want a relationship, so why didn’t he jump on it—literally and figuratively? To find a woman willing to be a part of that arrangement, to claim she would tire of him first, was a rare treat, so what exactly was stopping him? He was definitely attracted to her and wanted her more than any girl he could remember wanting, so what his issue?
He’d truly had fun with her that night and he wanted to see her again. The intensity between them was palpable and he couldn’t wait to see what would happen when they really came together; the edgy anticipation was almost killing him. He had a feeling it was going to blow his mind if the kiss they had shared was any indication.
Then what the fuck was his problem? Agitated, Jerry yanked his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. He never hesitated on things. He wouldn’t say he was impulsive, but he didn’t hem and haw incessantly either. Once he figured out what he wanted, he went for it. That was it. What had suddenly made him change his ways, he didn’t know, but it was irritating.
Jerry blew out a breath through his nose and a white puff filled the cold air around him. He was thinking too much, that’s what his problem was. He was doing it with the house, with his game and with Karen, and he needed to stop. He had to get back to his old ways, stop overthinking things and just go for it. He’d been that way all his life and so far it’d worked for him. He’d made it to the Big Leagues and now was one of the best pitchers in the league, if not the very best.
“Fuck it,” he muttered as he stood up and headed toward the locker room.
Whatever decision he’d been waiting for, it was just made. He was done with putting it off and he was going to go for what he wanted, and that was Karen. She’d better be ready because he wasn’t screwing around anymore. It was time.
Chapter Ten
Karen arrived fashionably late to the clubhouse rented out for the engagement party Maddie and Chase were throwing for their close friends and family. The festivities were in full swing—small vases of snow-colored roses sat on each linen-covered tabletop while twinkling lights threaded through silvery mesh crisscrossed the ceiling. Bunches of cheerful, multicolored balloons hung in all corners of the room—she was sure at the request of Bree—adding some fun and color to the otherwise simple-but-elegant room.
In the middle of a large group, the bride—and groom-to-be stood together, beaming from ear to ear as they chatted with their guests. Karen stopped in the doorway and took a moment to watch her friend. Maddie had chosen a classic sleeveless burgundy silk dress that perfectly complemented her petite frame. The color contrasted dramatically with her milky skin and jet-black hair and she looked stunning. The permanent glow on her face from being in love made her even more beautiful. Chase, looking elegant in a custom-made light gray suit, couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her, stroking her arm or putting his hand against the small of her back. Maddie beamed at whatever he was saying and when Chase returned the smile, Karen could see the love on his face. They only had eyes for each other and that was how it should be.
Once in her life, she’d thought she could have all that. That she wanted it. But so much had changed that Karen now realized it wasn’t for everyone and she was fine with that. She had a role in life and playing wife or significant other wasn’t it, but it didn’t stop her from feeling an occasional tinge of jealousy or sadness. Whenever she did, like now, she had to remind herself what had happened. She refused to be helpless ever again, to feel as if she’d lost all control because she’d put her trust in someone else only to have it trampled on.
* * *
Jerry stood in a corner, just out of Karen’s line of vision, watching her. He’d been keeping an eye out for her, and when she’d walked in late, looking stunning and sexy in a short, simple black cocktail dress and her golden blond hair a seductive, messy tumble down her back, he’d moved to greet her but the expression on her face had stopped him. It was only there for a split second before she’d shoved it aside and her usual self-confidence returned, but it stunned him because he’d never seen her look so vulnerable before and he felt a strange desire to make her forget whatever it was that had upset her.
He found himself by her side, not remembering moving from his spot, determined to put what troubled her out of her mind. She turned as she sensed his approach and stood up straight, a cocky smile breaking out on her face.
Jerry handed her the glass of wine he’d picked up off a tray on his way over. She took it from him, eyeing the black suit he wore over a black shirt without a tie. “You trying out for a second job, Jer? All you need is a tray and you’re set.”
He grinned. “Doesn’t hurt to have something to fall back on in case the whole baseball thing doesn’t work out.”
Karen laughed as she took a sip of her wine, but he noticed it didn’t seem genuine. “I don’t think you need to worry about that.”
“You look very nice tonight.”
Her eyes warmed, but he still saw the frailty now that he knew how to see past her mask. “Thank you. You do too, Smutty.”
He gave an exaggerated sigh. “I thought we talked about this.”
“What?”
“The name thing.”
“Oh, sorry. Jerry—”
“No,” he interrupted as he moved in front of her. “It’s Pookie, rem
ember?”
“Oh, right. Sorry. How could I forget?” This time her laughter was full, warm and real. “You look nice tonight, Pookie.”
“That’s more like it,” Jerry said with a matching grin. He paused for a second before leaning into her slightly. “You don’t need to worry about it either.”
She leaned back to look up at him. “I don’t need to worry about what?”
He hitched his head toward Chase and Maddie. “That. You’ll have it one day.”
Karen visibly stiffened as her smile quickly vanished. It was as if a light switched off within her. Her mouth gaped and she looked like she was about to say something, but nothing came out. Wondering just what door he had opened, Jerry didn’t want her to close herself off.
“Karen?” he said softly.
She swallowed but then glanced over his shoulder and he turned, spotting Chase and Maddie heading in their direction. He muttered under his breath, frustrated by the interruption, but quickly shoved it aside, telling himself he’d have more time later on to dig deeper into the puzzle that was Karen.
“There you guys are!” Maddie exclaimed. “We didn’t think you were coming,” she said to Karen. “Fashionably late, I see.”
Karen eyed Jerry a second longer before plastering a bright smile on her face and pulling her friend into a hug. “Not come? Are you kidding? Don’t be ridiculous.”
* * *
Thankful for the intrusion, Karen went through the motions of making small talk with everyone before Chase and Jerry wandered off to mingle with their teammates, and Maddie dealt with some crisis with the wait staff. She remained where she was and tried to figure out exactly what Jerry was up to. She’d thought that everything was going to be simple between them, just two adults having fun together—nothing more, nothing less—but now she wasn’t so sure.