by C. A. Harms
His movements cause me to step back, and I bump into the railing behind me.
“Don’t be scared, babe,” another guy yells out. “We’ll be gentle.”
I shake my head, gripping the handle as I start back toward the entrance of my hotel. The automatic doors should have opened but they remain shut, and panic hits me hard. I reach into my pocket, looking in the direction of the men only to find them closing in on me.
With my keycard in hand, I scan it over the sensor on the door and suddenly it slides open. I practically sprint through the entrance, spinning around to look back and almost tripping over the rug in the process.
All three men stand just outside the door, staring at me through the glass. Smiles, eerie and disgusting smiles cover their mouth. The lady behind the counter, who I hadn’t seen before, asks me if I was okay, but I don’t pause to respond. Instead, I take off toward my room as my body trembles with fear.
Once inside my room, I crawl in bed beneath the covers and pull the phone closer to me as I lift the receiver. With shaking hands, I dial a number I know by heart, and no longer fear being rejected.
“Em.” At the sound of Gianna’s voice I break as sobs rake through my body.
Nicholas
I walk up to the front doors of the hotel and flash my badge to the woman standing just inside. Spencer stands at my side and does the same. She steps closer, peering at the badges before she presses a button and the doors before us slide open.
“Can I help you?”
The woman looks scared as she glances between Spencer and me a few times. “We are both detectives, but aren’t here on official business.” Her eyebrows shift up as she tilts her head in confusion. “We have a friend staying here, and she has called for us to come get her.” Again the girl says nothing. “Her name is Emerson Mansfield. I believe she is staying on the second floor, room 216.”
“Reddish brown hair, petite?”
I nod.
“She was downstairs about an hour ago and came rushing back inside. She didn’t give me a chance to tell her that this isn’t the kind of neighborhood a girl wants to go walking around by herself in, especially at night.” I feel my hand tense as I squeeze my badge tighter. “She was only outside for a few minutes before rushing back inside, scared.”
“We’re here to pick her up.” I don’t wait for her permission because quite frankly, I didn’t need it. A wild boar can’t stop me from getting up to the second floor and gathering Emerson and the little she has left.
As I step into the elevator, Spencer joins me. He leans back against the wall as I hit the button over and over as if it will get me there faster.
“You can’t go in there as wound up as you are.”
“I just want to get her out of here,” I tell him, still staring ahead at the door. “She never should have been here in the first place. She may not wanna be with me, but there is no way I’m gonna let that man make her feel like she’s got nothing.”
At this point nothing will calm me but her. I want her safely tucked away anywhere other than this place.
“All I’m saying is slow down, brother.” Spencer places his hand on my shoulder just as the elevator door slides open. “She called Gia, so the last person she’s expecting to show up at her door is you. Me, maybe, but just because she’d assume I’d be here for Gianna.”
At a pace much calmer than my last, I step out and turn the way the arrows direct, counting the numbers in my head until I reach the door marked with 216 in black numbers. One deep breath in, I raise my hand and gently knock.
There is no movement behind the door, or at least none that we can hear. I picture her instead tiptoeing toward the door and placing her eye to the peephole in the center.
Adrenaline is racing through me, the weight of my body shifting from one foot to the other. Just when I was about to knock once more, I hear the sound of the slide lock on the other side. The anticipation is making me edgy as I wait for the door to open. Once it is, I fight the urge to go to her.
Emerson stands in the darkened room, staring up at Spencer and me timidly. Her eyes are red and swollen, a woman so different from the one I’d gotten to know before she pushed me away.
“Are you okay?” I couldn’t keep from asking her, my voice coming off more eager then I’d attempted. “Did anyone hurt you?”
“What are you doing here?” Ignoring my questions, she crosses her arms over her chest and looks away when the connection is too much.
“Emerson.” My fingers twitch as I fist my hands at my sides. I want to reach out for her, only I hold back but not without a struggle. Before I can say any more or do something stupid like toss her over my shoulder and carry her out of here without caring about her reaction, Spencer steps closer to her.
“Why don’t you let us get you outta here?” Emerson looks up at him and offers him a gentle nod in agreement. The moment his hand touches her shoulder and he begins to guide her into the room, I fight against the jealousy I feel. She welcomes his touch, accepts his offer of help, but with me she is so resistant. I don’t know how to bury the ache her actions inflict. I want to be the one to save her, to console her, and to comfort her. I want to be the man to protect her.
I watch as she moves across the room and gathers her bags. Spencer lifts the bigger of the two and steps aside so she can walk past him. As she gets closer to me, I hold out my hand and offer to carry the bag she holds, yet she declines. I didn’t miss the look Spencer gives me, silently telling me just to let it go.
The elevator ride is quiet; the car ride to Gianna’s place even quieter. I can’t stop myself from occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror at her. Each time I do, what I see only pisses me off more.
Emerson looks so lost, so tired and distant. The vibrant beauty who took control and fought against a room full of women the night of the auction is gone. In her place is a woman who looks exhausted and defeated.
I ignore the warnings Spencer continues to shoot in my direction. I also ignore the way Gianna guards her the second she opens her apartment door and takes Emerson in her arms, standing in the center of Gia’s apartment. The only thing I feel is irritation. Call me an asshole or a selfish prick, I don’t care, but I don’t want anyone else to comfort her. I want her to come to me. I want her to need me.
“Emerson,” I say her name and can visibly see her shoulders tense.
“Not now, brother,” Spencer shakes his head.
“Em,” I ignore his words and repeat her name, only this time softer. I try to bury the ugly rage I feel inside over the entire situation.
“Nic, I think she just needs to rest.” It is Gianna this time, and I understand the fight I would have on my hands if challenging her. But I am also prepared to do whatever it takes for the chance to say what I had to say.
“I just need a few minutes,” I say as I look away from Emerson’s back and am met with an irritated Gia, her red face almost matching the bright red streaks in her hair. “Please.”
I can feel the strength in me slipping.
Emerson pushes the weight of her body back and stands tall. Still facing Gianna, I watch as she gives her a gentle, reassuring nod and though Gia doesn’t look convinced, she steps back from her friend. “Spencer and I will be in the bedroom if you need me.”
“I’m okay,” Emerson assures her, though going by her shaky voice alone I would have to say she is anything but okay.
As Spencer and Gianna walk down the hall, they both look back over their shoulder just before entering what I assume is the bedroom and slowly closing the door behind them. Emerson still stands in the same place, with her back to me. I can see each time she takes in a deep breath as her body shifts from the movements.
“I know you don’t want my help,” I say to her back, but I’ve waited long enough. “But I want you to know that I’m here should you change your mind.” It kills me how she seems so distant from me. “I don’t know what happened between us, why you pulled away from me so fast. I don�
��t understand what changed but—”
“He threatened you,” she whispers, but I hear the words. One deep breath after another, I can feel my control slipping. Slowly and with caution Emerson finally turns to face me and I see the sheer glossiness of her eyes, the unshed tears that she does her best to fight. “The morning of the investigation, he approached me about us. He knew about our weekend together, he knew about everything.”
I remain silent as I listen to her talk about her father.
“I told you he fought dirty.” She shrugs as she moves toward the couch and finally sits down. “He made threats on your career and gave me an ultimatum. I didn’t care about me because as you can see, that life is gone. But I didn’t want him to hurt you in the process. I’ve lived this life for as long as I can remember, but this was the first time he followed through. It would have killed me if he did anything to you because I was selfish.”
“Selfish?” Is she fucking serious?
“Yeah.” She nods her head and looks down at her lap. “I couldn’t let him destroy you because I wouldn’t let go.”
I close the distance between us and sit on the coffee table before her, my legs parted as I surround hers. Leaning in, I place one hand on each side of her legs and hunch over to bring my body closer to hers. “I want you to be selfish with me, Em. I wants you to need me as I need you.” When her lower lip trembles, I feel like my chest is cut wide open. “He can’t hurt me, sweetheart, I promise you that. He may know people, he may have enough money to convince people out there to do just about anything for him, but I told you, I’m not scared of your father.”
Hector Mansfield is a man who feels as though he’s got control over every woman, like his power and money make him some fucking god. I can guarantee one thing, he won’t control Emerson; I won’t let him.
“I’m supposed to be strong, unaffected by all this only I can’t be that person,” she continues to look down like she feels ashamed by her confession. “I’m not strong, I’m weak, vulnerable, and this all does affect me. It kills me, Nic. I gave him control of me. For all these years I let him tell me how to live my life, who to date. All because I had the world at my fingertips. I had money and security and though I’ve said all along those things don’t matter, they do matter. But I let them matter too much because in a sense I became him. Now I have nothing."
“Are you kidding me right now?” Her words make me feel angry, at her and at him, at everything. “You are the strongest person I know, Em. Jesus woman, look at everything you’ve been through, not just now, but your entire life. Here you are…still this amazing woman.”
“I don’t feel amazing.”
“You are.” I reach out and grip the sides of her face, forcing her to finally look at me. “You can’t let him break you, beautiful girl. You can’t give him that control.”
She closes her eyes, her lips tremble once more, and I’m unable to stop myself as I lean in and press my lips to hers. It is only a gentle kiss before I allow my forehead to rest to hers.
“How can you be here with me, after the way I acted? How can—”
“Because I love you.” There is absolutely no hesitation in my words. Any resolve she may have had left breaks as her body shakes against mine. Emerson moves forward, her arms wrap around my neck as she pulls me closer. “Even though you pushed me away that didn’t change, Em. I’m still in love with you.”
I don’t take the fact that she doesn’t return the words as an insult. She’s been through so much and at the hands of a man I want to destroy. How could any man put any woman through hell, especially his own daughter?
Emerson
I try to move, only I can’t. A weight presses against me, pinning me in place. I squint, the light shining through the windows practically blinding me. Stretched out at my side on the oversized couch is Nic, who is wrapped around me like a big warm blanket. The events of the evening before and the last few days come back to me all at once.
My father, losing my home, and everything I had hits me. Then warmth fills me despite all the loss because the handsome man at my side told me he loves me. Though I feel I don’t deserve his love, the knowledge that I have it is overwhelming.
“He didn’t leave your side all night.” I look to my left to find Gianna sitting in the recliner with a cup of coffee held securely in her hands. “Even after you fell asleep and Spencer decided to head home, he refused to leave.”
Nic’s head rests on my shoulder, his lips and nose tucked into the crook of my neck.
“He loves you, ya know?” I only nod as I lift my hand and comb my fingers through his hair. My heart feels so very full despite everything negative that had happened. “Why didn’t you come to me?”
I look back toward Gianna as tears fill my eyes.
“The last time we talked things didn’t end well.”
“No, they didn’t, but you’re my best friend, Em, and no fight over a fucked up father or any guy changes that. I missed you."
“I missed you too.” The confession burns my throat. “And I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” She takes in a deep breath as her nostrils flare; it is a sign she is doing her very best to hold herself together. “So, what’s the plan?”
“I don’t know.” I still continue to toy with Nic’s hair, softly combing my fingers through the ends. “I guess I need to find a cheap place to live and look for a job. I did manage to save some money over the last couple of years, that’s one thing I didn’t let him control.”
Silence set in as I try to register why I’d let my father manipulate so much of my life over the years.
“You can stay here for as long as you need to.”
“And sleep on your couch.” I smile as I turn back to look at her. “I appreciate it, I truly do, but I’m not gonna flip your life upside down because I was too stupid to see the man my father is capable of being. I have to start over, and that means I have to struggle until I find my way.”
“We’ll look for a bigger place,” Gianna insists, “a two bedroom.”
“Or you can just stay with me.”
My hand freezes, my fingers still intertwined in Nic’s hair. He doesn’t move except his arm that lay over me hugs me a little tighter. I know my eyes had to convey my surprise because Gia was smiling at me knowingly. “Jax misses you.”
Gianna snickers as she stands from the chair and walks off toward the kitchen. I’m sure she is only giving Nic and me a few minutes alone, but she doesn’t have to. I would have preferred she’d stayed because this is a conversation I am not quite ready for.
“I’ll take your silence as a sign you’re thinking about it.”
I open my mouth a couple of times to speak, only to come up empty each time.
Nic lifted his head, the sincerity in his eyes the first thing I’m met with. It is crazy, scary even, how safe I feel whenever he is near. It is a pull I felt the first time I saw him, only now it is even stronger.
“Em?”
“We can’t.” I shook my head trying to find the words to explain exactly why. I half expected him to argue or get upset, but instead, he only watched me and waited. “Just a week ago we weren’t even talking, and even without that we’ve only known one another for a short time."
“And?”
I laugh at his nonchalant reaction.
“And you’ll regret it. You can’t just offer me to move in with you when we aren’t…” I pause when his brow arches. “This,” I motion between us, “I don’t even know what it is.”
“I told you that I’m in love with you.” I swallow hard and notice the way a grin tugs at the corner of his mouth from my reaction. “This,” he repeats my earlier action, using his hand to motion between our bodies, “is whatever you want it to be. But just so that you know, I want it to be everything.”
“Nic.”
“Okay.” He gives in, and the look of disappointment in his eyes pulls at my heart. “But I think taking Gianna up on her offer to stay here for a while should be s
omething you consider. Even if it’s just for a month or so until you figure things out.”
When he starts to get up, I grab his shirt and he pauses. “Thank you.” His gaze finds mine once more. “For being the man you are, for loving me.”
“That part’s easy.” He smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Now you have to learn to love yourself too. Figure out what you want in life and then go after it without letting someone else lead the way.”
I know he is referring to my father. I also understand he is talking about us, too.
“I need to head into the office.” He places a kiss on my temple before lifting his body off the couch. “I’ve got cases that need my attention.”
I feel the loss of his contact so profoundly that it makes my chest feel hollow. I watch as he looks around the room, almost like he’s avoiding eye contact with me. Movement from the left gains my attention just as Gianna steps out of the kitchen holding a red travel mug in her hand. “Coffee for the road.” She holds it out to Nic and I watch as he leans in and kisses her cheek before thanking her.
His eyes meet mine once more and a few seconds pass before either of us say a word.
“Remember what I said last night,” he finally speaks. “I’m here if you need me.”
I nod, my throat feeling as though it is too raw to speak. He walks toward the front door, giving me one last glance before he opens it and steps outside. Once the door closes behind him, I let the breath I’d been holding slowly release.
“What just happened?”
I don’t look toward Gianna, because I know I’ll be met with a look of disappointment.
“Emerson?”
“He deserves someone better than me.” I hear the slam of something and look in her direction. I see her coffee cup sitting near her on the countertop that separates the kitchen and living room, the contents now spilled and dripping from her hands. She seems completely unfazed.