by Lady Lissa
“I’m evil? Oh, I’m evil? I asked you to testify for me so I wouldn’t have to do any jail time and you said no. Why did you say no? Oh yea, because you’re too busy going through your own shit. Everything is always about you, you, you. And now you wanna rush over here to show off your fuckin’ car when mine is still sitting at the police station. Screw you Lucy!” she says.
“You would have your fuckin’ car if you wouldn’t have been chasing after a man who don’t want your ass. Onyx has told you three million times that he don’t want your ass and your desperate behind is still chasing him. Everything is not always about me. Shit is always about your selfish ass, but it’s cool. I know exactly where we stand now and you won’t ever catch my ass trying to share any moments with you again,” I say.
I get in my car as she is screaming profanity at me and back out of the driveway. On the drive home, I can’t believe the way Mandy behaved. She’s such an ignorant bitch. I’m still glad that I went over to her house though because I got to speak to my Aunt Miranda. I never knew she had been raped, but I’m happy she shared her story with me. I’m going to follow the advice that she gave me and hopefully one day, I’ll be okay, just like her.
CHAPTER 6
Starr
One month later…
I miss Onyx so much. So far since he’s been away at school, he’s come home two weekends. He couldn’t come every weekend because he took a job at the school working with the football team. He’s sort of an assistant coach. I’m not sure exactly what his title is, but I know he does get paid for it.
The only good thing about school having started is that I don’t have to see Mandy’s crazy ass. I heard she took the plea deal they were offering her. She had better take it because had we gone to trial, her ass would have ended up in jail. I’m not worried about her anymore. She has to stay the hell away from me and with her being away at school, I’m good with that.
On the other hand, she is attending the same college as Onyx, but I’m not worried about her chasing after him. After hearing about how he handled her the last time they saw each other, she’s the least of his worries and the least of mine. Onyx and I speak every single day, sometimes three or four times. I speak with him on my way to school, during lunch time, after school and before bedtime. He’s always asking how me and the baby are doing.
I haven’t gone to the doctor yet because I want to make sure when I do go, I’m too far along for her to suggest another alternative to having the baby. Right now, I should be around three months. I’m taking prenatal vitamins and iron pills that I got from the pharmacist at the drug store around the corner. I also stopped drinking carbonated or caffeine drinks. I only drink water, milk, apple or orange juice.
I want to do everything I can to make sure our baby is as healthy as possible. Sometimes, I stand in the front of the mirror and look at my body to see if there has been a noticeable change in my figure. Every other day or so, I lock myself in my room, strip down to my undergarments and stand before the full length mirror in my room. I stare at my belly, just to see if I’ve grown. I want to make sure that no one else notices my pregnancy before I’m ready to tell them.
As I stand before my mirror this afternoon, my phone starts to ring. It’s Usher & Alicia Keys, My Boo that’s playing so I already know who it is. I grab the phone off my nightstand, “Hey baby,” I answer as my smile spreads from ear to ear.
“Hey you. How was your day?” Onyx asks.
Just like the wonderful man I love. He always wants to know how I’m doing and how my day went. He is so loving and caring.
“My day was good, but it just got ten times better. How was yours?” I ask.
“It was aight. I miss you baby,” he says.
“I miss you too. Are you coming home this weekend?”
“Hell yea! Nothing can keep me away,” he says.
I continue to smile.
“How’s our baby doing?” he asks.
“The baby is good. I was just looking at my belly in the mirror to see if it’s shaped differently, but so far, I’m still small,” I say.
“Well, I’m sure your belly will start to take shape real soon. Just watch,” he says.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Hold up a minute,” I say to Onyx.
“What!”
“Girl open the door,” Maggie says from the other side of the door.
“Hold on a minute,” I tell her as I grab my robe and put it on.
Then I unlock the door to let her in.
“What,” I say as she breezes by me.
“Why you got the door locked?” she asks.
“Because I was getting ready to jump in the shower,” I say.
“Oh. Well, you feel like coming with me to the mall? I need a white shirt for work tomorrow,” she says.
“No thanks. I’m tired and just wanna fall into bed when I’m done taking my shower.”
“You sure have been sleeping a lot lately. You pregnant?” she asks.
“Huh? What? Noooooo!” I say.
She’s looking at me with the side eyes and I start to fidget.
“Why are you looking at me like that? I said no,” I tell her.
“Because you’re pregnant,” she smiles happily.
“Girl bye. Ain’t nobody pregnant, okay? Now you need to just go get a white shirt from Walmart and stop trying to be high class,” I say as I try to push her out of my room.
“Yes you are pregnant. I can tell because you’re glowing like a pregnant woman. Does mom know?”
“Does mom know what? I’m not pregnant so there’s nothing for her to know,” I lie.
She looks at me and says, “Seriously little sister, you don’t have to lie to me. I love you and I will support you always. I ain’t ya mama so there’s no reason for you to tell me lies.”
I didn’t even realize that I had tears falling from my eyes until they fall on my chest. Maybe telling my sister the truth won’t be so bad. At least I’ll have someone here with me to take me to my doctor’s appointments when the time comes.
“Now tell me the truth. Are you having a baby?” she asks.
I simply nod my head yes. She smiles happily and takes me in her arms. She holds me tightly and I begin to cry harder. It feels so good to tell her, to have someone right here with me.
“Don’t cry little sister. Everything is going to be just fine,” she says.
“How do you know that?” I ask through my sniffles.
“Because I’m older than you and I say so. How long do you think you can keep this a secret?” she asks.
“Just until I’m too far for them to suggest abortion as an option. I don’t want to hear them with that shit, so I’m just going to wait a couple of more months before I go to the doctor,” I say.
“Bullshit! You need to get that done as soon as possible. You have to make sure that you and your baby are okay. I’m gonna make an appointment for you tomorrow and I’ll take you,” she says, taking charge.
“Are you sure Maggie? I don’t want you to have to miss work or anything,” I say.
“Did you forget I’m a manager there? If I need time off, I need time off.”
She pulls out her phone and starts going through it. When I see her with her phone, I remember that I had told Onyx to hold on. I quickly pick my phone up but he’s already hung up. I shoot him a text telling him that it was Maggie at the door and I will call him back after she leaves. He sends me a text right back saying okay and he loves me. I send him one with a heart saying ditto.
“Okay, I made you a 10:30 appointment so I will pick you up from school around a quarter to ten and drop you off after the appointment. That way, mom won’t have to know you left,” she says.
“Thanks Maggie,” I say as I hug her tightly.
“You’re welcome. I can’t believe I’m going to be an auntie. Are you excited?” she asks.
“Yea, and nervous too.”
“I understand. When you have Cruella as a mom, it’s hard to get ex
cited about anything. She must be real happy that Onyx has gone off to school huh?” Maggie asks.
“You have no idea. I don’t see how she can be so happy when I’m so miserable. Well, I’m not miserable but you know what I mean. If I wouldn’t have this little bundle growing inside me, I’d be totally miserable with Onyx away at school.”
“I know it’s hard, but I’m here for you sis so that should make it a little easier,” she says.
“Yes it does. You have no clue how lost I’ve been without Onyx. He’s the only other person that knows so without him around, I had no one to lean on,” I admit.
“Well, feel free to lean on me. That’s what big sisters are for,” she says.
“Thanks sis,” I say.
“You’re welcome. Now, let me get out of here so I can call my boss about tomorrow. See you in the morning,” she says, kissing my forehead.
“Okay,” I say.
Once she’s gone, I immediately call Onyx back.
“Hey baby,” he answers.
“Hey. Maggie knows,” I blurt out.
“She knows?”
“She knows,” I repeat.
“So is she going to tell your parents?” he asks.
“No, she’s going to take me to the doctor tomorrow though.”
“Wow! That’s great.”
“Yea. I’m kind of glad, to tell you the truth. Without you here, I have been going through this by myself. Now that she knows, I can share things with her,” I say.
“Baby, I’m sorry I’m not there with you. I wish I could be but you know…” he begins before I interrupt him.
“I’m not mad at you boo. I know you have to go to school and if you could be here, you would be. I’m just glad Maggie knows so she can be here,” I say.
“Okay. I’m here for you. I’m always here for you. Don’t forget that,” he says.
“I won’t. Now, I have some homework to do so I will call you before I go to sleep. I love you,” I tell him.
“I love you too. To the moon and back,” he says.
“Me too,” I say before ending the call.
“You hear that little Onyx? Your daddy loves you and mommy to the moon and back,” I say as I rub my hand over my belly.
I know I’m not showing yet, but just knowing that our little one is growing inside me has me psyched. I cannot wait to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. I want a boy so he can look like his handsome daddy, but on the other hand, a little girl with long pigtails would make my day too. I’m so happy my sister knows about the pregnancy.
I’m glad to have someone to talk to while Onyx is away at school. Of course, he and I talk every day. But, having my sister here is better than doing this alone. Having a baby with Onyx is the best way to solidify our love. I couldn’t have thought of a better plan to keep us together. Now, no one, not even my mom, can keep the two of us apart.
I smile at that; the fact that I outsmarted her ass. My mom actually thought she could keep Onyx and I apart. She can’t keep us apart because we’re soul mates. Onyx and I are meant to be together. The reason I know that our relationship is going to be successful is because we became friends first. We were friends, then best friends and now we’re lovers. Soon, we will be parents and that will be the most amazing day ever. Giving birth to Onyx’s son or daughter is going to light up my entire world.
I make my way downstairs so I can raid the refrigerator and find something to eat. I’m hungry and since I‘m eating for two, I can’t afford to miss any meals. I settle for some leftover roast beef and rice dressing. Once my plate is warmed, I take it to the dining room table along with a bottle of water.
While I’m sitting down eating, my mom walks in the door.
“Hellllllooooo!” she yells.
“I’m in the dining room,” I call out.
She walks into the dining room and greets me.
“Hey Starr, how was your day?” she asks smiling like a Cheshire cat.
“It was good. Maggie came by,” I say.
“Oh really? What did she want?” she asks, seeming uninterested.
“For me to go with her to the mall,” I answer.
“Oh. Have you seen your brother?” she asks.
“He has football practice,” I respond.
“Oh yea. Anything interesting happen today that I should know about?”
“Not that I know of,” I answer.
“What are you doing in your robe? Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. I had just gotten out the shower when Maggie came by, so I threw on my robe and decided it was comfortable enough to leave on. I’m about to go to bed when I’m done eating anyway,” I say.
“Oh. Why so early?” she asks.
“Nothing else to do.”
“You could spend some time with me,” she says.
“I’m just tired mom. I wanna go to bed,” I say.
“You’re too tired to spend time with your ol’ mom huh?” she asks.
“I guess,” I say as I stand up to go put my plate away.
“Okay. You know Starr, I know you’re still mad at me because I don’t want you seeing Onyx anymore. But one day, you will see that I did this for your own good. That boy would have taken his anger out on you one day and I saved you from that.”
“That boy is the love of my life and he would never hurt me. What you are doing is a form of control to show that you’re in charge. I love Onyx and I will never forgive you for trying to keep us apart,” I say.
“Yes, you will. You’re just upset right now. One day you will meet a nice boy and you will thank me for this,” she says.
“NEVER! The only boy I’ll ever want is Onyx and nothing you do or say will ever change my feelings. No amount of time will ever make me forgive you for this. And you’re wrong about something else too. I’m not upset with you. I’m hurt, really hurt.”
I put my plate in the dishwasher and try to walk pass her, but she stops me.
“Well what do you think you’re doing to me right now?” she asks.
“I’m not doing anything to you but telling you how I feel,” I respond.
“You’re hurting me. So are we going to play tit for tat like your sister and I do?”
“I’m not trying to hurt you or play some game with you. And if you wouldn’t try to control your children’s lives, maybe we wouldn’t mind spending time with you and stuff. But, you want us to do what you want and we can’t live our lives for you mom. We have to do what makes us happy, not you.”
“I’m only trying to protect you and your sister. She’s running around with some lowlife drug dealer and you want me to allow you to be with an abuser. I can’t be happy about that and I won’t let that happen,” she says.
“Do you realize that the only thing you are doing is pushing me away from you? And that when I graduate and go off to college, you may never see me again?” I ask.
I’m not trying to threaten her. I just need her to understand exactly how I feel right now.
“What? Are you threatening me?”
“No mom, I’m just trying to get you to understand that you are alienating me the way you have Maggie. If that’s what you want, another failed relationship with your second daughter, then that’s what you’re going to get. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted.”
This time when I make a move to go around her, she doesn’t stop me. I head back upstairs to my room. I lay back on my bed and grab my phone. I send Onyx a text…
Me: R u busy?
Onyx: Never 2 busy 4 u
Me: I’m calling u
I hit the send button to call him and he picks up on the first ring.
“Hey baby,” he answers and that sends my heart into a pounding frenzy. Anytime I hear Onyx’s voice, my heartbeat picks up the pace. I get these little flutters in my stomach and no, it’s not the baby because I’ve had these feelings before I got pregnant. It’s just something about him that drives me wild. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the man for me.
“Hey. Whatcha doing?” I ask.
“Lying in bed, thinking about you,” he says. His voice sounds so freaking sexy that I can feel the moisture in my panties immediately.
“I was thinking about you too. I’m always thinking about you,” I admit.
“Oh yea? What were you thinking about?”
“I was thinking how I can’t wait graduate from high school so the two of us can be together again. I was also thinking about having our baby,” I say with a smile while rubbing my tummy.
“Guess what.”
“What?” I ask.
“I was thinking the same thing,” he admits.
“Great minds think alike,” I say.
“You got that right. So, how’s it going over there? Your parents still giving you a hard time about me?”
“Well, you know my dad loves you and thinks we’re perfect for each other…”
“Yea, I always did like your ol’ man. He’s a cool dude for someone his age. He reminds me of my own father because of his laid back attitude,” he says.
“Yea, both your parents are pretty cool to me.”
“To me also, but my mom is on some shit right about now,” he says.
“She’s still acting funny because of the pregnancy?”
“Yea, she says we’re too young and we’re going to mess up our future by having a baby now,” he says.
“Why can’t they just be happy for us? If this is what we want, then it shouldn’t matter to anyone else. I don’t understand why they always feel the need to put their noses in our business like this. I mean, it’s not like we’re eight and nine years old anymore. We’re adults,” I say.
“Yea, well, they’re parents and I guess they’re always going to have an opinion.”
“Are you having second thoughts about the baby? Are you thinking that we’re too young also?” I ask.
“No. Having a baby with you is something that I’ve been ready for since I was twelve,” he says with a laugh, which causes me to laugh.
“Boy shut up! When you were twelve, the only thing you were worried about was that basketball,” I laugh.
“You’re right. My basketball is my second best friend in the world,” he says.