Earl of Destiny

by K. J. Jackson

  She went back to the stream, dipping the cloth and rinsing it in the water, then wrapped it around the back of her neck before she sat down next to Sebastian.

  “Water?” Sebastian handed her a leather-wrapped flask.

  Brianna sipped from it, relaxing for a few moments in comfortable silence, letting her eyes rest on the rolling water and her mind wander into nothingness.

  Sebastian sat just as easily in the silence, gazing at the ground rising from the stream opposite them where the rocks and pebbles transitioned into a hill covered with long, flowing grasses.

  He nodded to the view across from them, his voice breaking through the crackle of the water and the birds chirping. “That—I have always loved when the fields come alive—when the wind hits the grasses, waking them up, making them dance in green waves. So free, so much space. Just like the fields we went flying through.”

  Brianna watched his profile. He was handsome, and each and every time she looked at him, she was reminded of it. His full dark hair with streaks of light brown in it, a finely cut jaw and hard cheekbones.

  If she had thought to actually gain a husband, he would have been very much what she would have been attracted to. And for all she didn’t trust him, she was having a hard time not liking this man, liking his depth of character. Liking that no matter how many frowns she threw his way, he was unaffected—seeing right through them.

  Maybe he truly did have an unnatural ability to see things others could not. At least with her.

  She picked up a pebble, rubbing the smoothness of it on the pads of her fingers. “Is that why you spend so little time in London—you like the open lands? The duke told me you rarely stayed there for long. You must like the freedom?”

  “Too much so. I have never been one for the close quarters of London. Nor for being pinned down in one place. I know Rowe thinks I am a wanderer.”

  “Are you?”

  He smiled his devil grin, his eyes still watching the grasses play. “Possibly.” His look swung to Brianna, the brown in his eyes particularly warm in the dappled sunlight. “But I am finding wandering less and less appealing.”

  Transfixed by his gaze for a long moment, Brianna knew exactly what he implied.

  It caught her off-guard, as all those moments did when he looked at her like that—the look that silently screamed he wanted to grab her, kiss her, tug the shirt off her shoulder, slide her skirts up…

  Brianna yanked back on her wandering thoughts, clearing her throat and setting the flask down as she forced her eyes to the stream. It would not do to look at him in those moments. Though she was highly suspicious of his attentions, she was finding it harder and harder to resist them.

  She flipped the smooth pebble in her fingers, tossing it into the stream and watching the rings float away with the slow-moving water.

  “Where are your lands, Seb? I never hear you speak of them.”

  “You have never asked. Most of them are scattered throughout Suffolk and Essex. We also have a few swathes in Lancashire.”

  “What are they like?” Brianna pointed at the field across from them. “Do they look like this? Do you have stables and pastures like here at Notlund?”

  “No. My family never cared for horses past the coaches they pulled, even though there are pockets devoted to horse racing near our lands. Most of the Suffolk land has rich dirt for crops. And in Lancashire we are devoted to sheep and we have several textile mills.”

  Brianna nodded, tossing another pebble before looking at him. “Your family? Do you have brothers or sisters?”

  “My father and older brother are dead. I have no other siblings. My mother lives mostly at our main estate in Suffolk.”

  “Your mother is alive?” Brianna sat straight, turning toward him.

  “Yes. Why?”

  “I did…I did not think she was alive. I am surprised she has not been invited to Notlund, what with our marriage. It is not done that I have not met her. Will she be coming soon—has she been invited to Notlund?”

  A deep frown settled on Sebastian’s face. “I doubt she would come.” He looked away from her. “Nor is she awaiting a visit from her son.”

  The way he said it, sharp, with a note of closure, clamped Brianna’s mouth shut.

  For all that she hid from him, he wasn’t exactly forthcoming about information of his own family.

  Before she could explore the topic of his mother further, Sebastian’s frowned eased, and he pinned her with his eyes.

  “Speaking of family, Brianna, I have been curious about something.”

  Brianna’s guard flew up. “Yes?”

  “Tell me what your sister refers to when she says you are doing something to her again. I have heard Lily say that more than once to you. So what is it that you are doing to her again?”

  A quick glance to his face, and Brianna picked up the flask for a slow sip before setting it down and leaning forward, resting her forearms on her knees.

  Sebastian grabbed the flask, swallowing a healthy gulp as he waited for her to answer.

  She stared at the water tumbling past a mound of rocks at the edge of the stream, weighing her response.

  While she had never shied from taking responsibility for what she did, she hesitated. For some reason, she didn’t want to have to highlight her flaws in front of Sebastian. But if he wanted to learn of the real her—what she was capable of—he may as well hear it from her lips.

  Brianna’s eyes stayed on the water as she swallowed sigh. “About a year ago, Lily was in love and wanted to marry a man, Garek Harrison. He was not good enough for her, so I paid him to leave her alone. To leave the country.”

  Sebastian sputtered out the water he was drinking. “You what?”

  “I paid him to leave, to disappear.” Brianna refused to look in his direction. “The very fact that he took the money proved he was not worthy of Lily. No one is who can be bought so easily.”

  “So you manipulated the situation? Took away someone Lily loved?”

  Her head whipped to him, her eyes meeting his. “I am not proud of what I did, Seb—of how I went about it. I could have done it in a more delicate way, but I panicked, and that is what happened. I cannot change my actions.”

  “And Lily found out?”

  “Yes.”

  “So why do you even think to interfere with her and Lord Newdale?”

  “I am still going to protect her, Seb. And the past is exactly why I need to investigate Lord Newdale so thoroughly. I cannot be wrong about him. If I interfere again—if I block anything between the two of them, I have to be absolutely certain of his intentions where Lily is concerned.”

  “You were not certain of the man you paid off?”

  “Yes…No. Not certain enough. There was a possibility I was wrong, but I did it anyway.”

  “Do you regret it?”

  “Yes. At least that I acted without knowing all of the facts as actual facts. And that is why Lily continues to remind me of my past actions—she has never fully forgiven me for it. Not that she should.” She shook her head, her voice trailing. A pause, and then her eyes snapped to Sebastian. “But I do not apologize for keeping him away from Lily. Whether or not I was certain of him, of the facts, there were lies and he was not to be trusted.”

  “So it is back to that. Trust.” Sebastian set the flask down, grinding the leather wrap into the pebbles. “Is there anyone you trust, Brianna?”

  “Lily.” She shrugged. “Wynne and the duke, partially.”

  “That is your list?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about me? What about your husband?”

  “I have only known you for a fortnight, Seb. I have no reason to trust you.”

  “I married you. Married you without any gain for myself. Does my faith, my trust in you not count for anything?”

  “You trust in your own instinct, Seb, not in me.” Her look went back to the stream. “Do not confuse the two.”

  The rocks clinked beside her as Sebastian
sat upright. He grabbed her chin, forcing her gaze to his face. A face that looked more intense than she had ever seen it. Heat pulsated through his fingers, throbbing against her skin.

  “No, Brianna you are wrong. I trust you. Do not question it. And do not think to dismiss it.”

  Taken aback, she nodded silently.

  His fingers slipped from her chin, but his eyes stayed on hers. “What can I do to make you trust me, Brianna?” His voice was earnest, truly wanting an answer from her.

  “I know it is not what you want to hear, Seb. But there is nothing. I cannot trust.”

  He nodded, slowly. “I understand. But is it a cannot, or a will not?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes. A cannot means there is no hope, Brianna.” He grabbed her right hand, clasping it between his palms. “But a will not means I have a chance to alter your mind. Alter your will. You trust Lily, and you trust—even if only partially—Wynne and Rowe. So I think that means there is hope. That you are capable of trusting me.”

  Brianna took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. “Why do you continue to push this, Seb? I know I cannot be what you want me to be.”

  “I think differently. I think you know what you are today. But today is not tomorrow. And tomorrow can be very different.”

  The fingers of his top hand slid onto her wrist, pushing the cuff of her sleeve upward as he traced the fine bone in her forearm. “I think I have a wife that wants, somewhere deep inside, to have a life with a marriage and children and laughter and fun. I have seen glimpses of it—you, unbridled. I saw it today. I think you are capable of doing anything you decide you truly want to, including trusting me.”

  Brianna closed her eyes, her chin dropping as her head shook, fighting. Fighting Seb’s words. Fighting thoughts and dreams that she had long since killed. “Do not do this to me, Seb. I cannot. You do not know what you ask of me.”

  His hand went to her chin, slipping along her jaw and tilting her face to him. “I only ask that you open your eyes, Brianna. Open them.”

  Brianna let her eyes open a sliver to him, her breath held.

  “Do not trust me today, Brianna. Do not trust me tomorrow. I am willing to accept that. But give me a crack. The slightest way into you.”

  Her breath exhaled, shaking her voice. “What do you want of me?”

  “If your mind will not trust me, maybe your body can.” His fingers tightened along her jaw. “I have seen how your mind pulls away from me, while your body leans in. How your skin vibrates under my touch. How your muscles ache to awaken.”

  Her eyes went wide. “You said you would not touch me. Not until…”

  “You were ready. I did say that.” He leaned in, his lips to her ear, voice soft. “I think you are ready. You can tell me no, Brianna, but I think you are ready. You hide everything from the world, but you cannot hide how your body reacts to my touch. Not from me.”

  Brianna’s eyes slipped closed as his breath sent shivers down her neck. Her body a statue, she could neither lean in nor pull away from him.

  “Trust in this very moment, instead of the past, instead of the future.” His lips brushed her neck right below her earlobe. “Just trust in right here, right now. Trust what your body wants.”

  Her chest tightened, sending her breath shallow. She could only afford a whisper. “You are trying to seduce me?”

  His face moved from her neck so he could meet her eyes, and he smiled, slow and lascivious. His other hand came up, cradling her face. “Yes. I am trying to seduce my wife. My beautiful wife. No apologies. I want you, Brianna, and I am not going anywhere. I am your husband, and I am not leaving your side. Not going to disappear.”

  Words abandoned Brianna. She had no logic against this. No defenses to call upon. He was her husband—he had every right.

  And not only her husband, a man that wanted her in the most basic way. A man that had already sent her stomach plummeting, lighting the fire burning deep within her. A man that found her beautiful and desirable. Her husband.

  “Let me kiss you, Bree.”

  Trepidation swamped her mind, but she slowly gave him one nod.

  His lips met hers, gentle, exploring. Warm lips that sent tingles along her skin. His hand slid from her jaw, moving to the base of her neck, his fingers entwining into her hair.

  Her upsweep only precariously held together after the breakneck ride, it fell almost immediately with a few tugs from Sebastian. Her hair free, he dug his hand deep, weaving strands along his fingers, tightening his hold until he could tilt her head, deepening the kiss.

  His tongue parted her lips, brushing inside, and at the very touch, her core sparked, aching, wanting very much what he was doing to her body.

  Her mind railed against the pleasure consuming her, fighting to the surface, but she forced it to blankness. Forced it to shove all reason—all thoughts of everything except what Sebastian was doing to her—into the abyss.

  At least for this moment. She could do it for this moment.

  Her mouth ravaged, his head dropped, tasting the skin on her neck as he unbuttoned her shirt, tugging wide the fabric and tracing his teeth along the lines of her shoulder. Hungry, he made his way back up her neck until his mouth was against hers once more.

  One hand holding the back of her head, the other moving down her ribcage, he pulled slightly away, his forehead on hers, and took a deep breath.

  “I want nothing more than to strip you down and take you so hard, you are screaming for release, Bree.” His voice went low, gravelly. “But it is not what you need.”

  Her mind foggy from his onslaught, his words sifted, floating erratically through her brain. She opened her eyes to him. “No?”

  “No. You need to be in charge, Bree.” His fingers pushed back the loose hair on her temple. “I will touch you where you want me to touch you. Kiss you where you want me to. Move how you need me to. Every demand is yours to make, Bree.”

  Her heart swelled, thudding in her chest. She had been lost in what he was making her feel. And now he wanted her to tell him…she swallowed hard.

  True, she was no innocent, but she was far from experienced.

  But that she could control him—that he would give her that—it awakened something deep and raw in her soul.

  “Tell me where to start, Bree. I am yours,” he said, voice rough.

  She took a deep breath, her eyes going downward and stopping at the first thing she saw. “Your shirt.”

  He silently nodded, then gave himself enough space to yank his white linen shirt off his torso.

  Her eyes ran down his body.

  Every muscle along his chest, along his stomach was taut, hard. She had recognized he wasn’t flabby beneath the usual dark jackets she saw him in, but the sight forced a sharp intake of breath. The man was molded as finely as a Greek statue. Her eyes stopped just short of his buckskin breeches, flipping up to his face.

  Her voice shook, nearly failing her. “My shirt.”

  He silently nodded, his fingers going to the rest of the pearl buttons lining her silk shirt. Slowly, his fingers dragged along her skin, teasing as he slipped the shirt down one arm and then the other.

  She leaned her head back, exposing her neck. Her hand came up, trembling, landing at the junction of her neck and shoulder. “Here. Your lips. And the rest of it. The shift, the stays.”

  He nodded silently, his mouth going to her neck, setting fire to her skin as he unlaced her short stays and slipped her shift down.

  Unnaturally bared to the wide-open air, Brianna took solace in the fact that Sebastian’s torso shrouded hers, his hard chest pressing against her breasts. She set her hands on his shoulders, letting them slip down his back, pulling him closer to her.

  His breath heavy, his lips did not leave her as his words came out guttural. “Tell me I can go downward, Bree. Give me permission.”

  “Yes.”

  With a half growl, Sebastian moved downwards, his hands going up her ribcage, finger
s moving to cup her breasts. He took her right nipple into his mouth, rolling it around his tongue before sucking until it strained into his mouth.

  Brianna gasped, her head falling back as he moved on to her left breast.

  The onslaught to her senses continued until Brianna could no longer take it, her body demanding so much more. She grabbed his face, pulling him from her chest. Her palms scratched on the stubble lining his jaw as she brought his eyes into view. “I want this, Seb. The rest of it. Your clothes, my skirt. You under me.”

  A heated smile came to his face, and he nodded silently, his hands going down to her waist, fingers sliding underneath the wool fabric of her skirt. Within a minute, he had disposed of both of their clothes and was pulling her onto his lap.

  Brianna kept her eyes on his face, both wanting to look down but refusing to do so. Her hands tightened on his shoulders. It had been so long since she had last touched a man—since a man had touched her. And the last time this had happened—

  “Stop. Do not leave me, Bree.” His hands captured her face, his brown eyes right before hers. “Stay with me. Stay right here. This moment. You are in charge. I will not do anything you do not want me to.”

  She inhaled with a nod, the intensity of him overtaking her senses, overtaking her sudden panic.

  He searched her face until satisfied with what he saw and then slipped his palm alongside the back of her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. “Feel me, Bree. Feel how much I want you.” Before she could resist, he moved her hand downward from his shoulder, wrapping her fingers around his member.

  A guttural intake of breath, and he groaned, his eyes closed. “You do this to me, Bree. You.”

  His free hand went to her leg, moving along her inner thigh until he reached her core. “And this is what I can do to you, Bree. Make you feel.” His fingers dove, caressing. Exploring. Teasing her into a pitch.

  She did want this. He was right. In this moment, she wanted this. Desperately. Wanted to feel like a woman. Wanted to be desired. Wanted to give satisfaction.

  She shifted her legs, straddling his lap fully, moving forward until her chest touched his.

  Her hand squeezing the lean muscle of his hardness, she dragged her fingers slowly up the smooth skin, and then abandoned it to settle both of her forearms on his shoulders, her palms solid on his back.