Sighing, I scoot as far forward in my seat as I can and lean my head against Mason’s shoulder. “You’re not losing me,” I say, “but this stuff with Sloane, it’s not easy for me. I love Hayden, and yeah, part of me is in love with him in a way, but that will never change how I feel about you. With Hayden, it’s more than just having a best friend. It’s like he’s part of me. Not in the same way I feel connected to you. It’s different, but he’s part of me all the same.”
“Why?” Mason begs.
I consider my words carefully, trying to puzzle out what my relationship with Hayden is to me. Finally, it seems to click together. “You know how you felt when Robin first showed up, before we realized she was a psycho? Do you remember how it felt to have someone else finally see you, to realize you existed outside the bubble of our family?”
Mason nods slowly, though I’m not sure he understands what I’m getting at.
“That’s part of why I feel so connected to Hayden. I love you, Mason, and I made you my entire world. When that world crashed down around me, not only was I heartbroken, I didn’t know who I was without you. I didn’t think I could survive not being by your side all the time.” I reach my free hand up and curl it around Mason’s arm. “Then Hayden showed up. I know part of how he made me feel was the bond of us both being Escorts, but it wasn’t all of it. He took the time to cheer me up when no one else outside our family would have. I was the center of his attention, not because he owed me anything or he needed me, but just because he wanted to make me his whole focus. I’d never had that before, and it’s not something I can just forget or share with Sloane.”
A whole host of emotions flash across Mason’s face. I can feel his body tense the longer he sits there thinking. “Do I not make you feel like you’re as important to me as Hayden does?”
“Of course you do,” I say, “but our relationship started out so differently. We were just kids when I found you. You became my best friend, but we became friends because of our circumstances. Growing up, there were times I wondered if you only thought of me as your protector. I know you don’t think of me like that now, but we grew to love each other in such an unusual circumstance. It was just different with Hayden. Not better or worse. Not something I want more than what I have with you. It was important, though, and sharing it with her feels like betraying Hayden somehow, like it’s less special now because she’s shared it.”
Reaching up, Mason presses my head into his shoulder more tightly. “I still don’t know that I totally understand this, but I’m sorry I accused you of lying to me about Hayden.”
“It’s okay,” I say. In all honestly, I probably deserved it after the way I’ve been acting.
“This whole thing has been freaking me out,” Mason admits, “but I meant what I said earlier, that maybe it’s not a bad thing.”
My head starts shaking immediately. “Mason, forget what your parents said about us. Maybe having a physical relationship will cancel out your powers or whatever, and maybe it won’t. Honestly, I don’t think we should trust them that much. It sounds like they lied about a few things.”
“Sloane confirmed what they said,” Mason argues.
“Fine, then we’ll make it work.” I shrug. That should be the end of it.
Mason is shaking his head. “You can’t give up that much for me.”
“What am I giving up? I get you. That’s my prize for surviving all this insanity. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.”
“You deserve better, Ollie,” Mason says quietly. “You deserve the chance to get married, to have kids, to finally have a normal life. I can’t give you any of that.”
“What, but Hayden can? Is that what you’re saying? Five minutes ago you were flipping out at the very idea of me and him being, uh, together like that. Now you’ve changed your mind?” I snap.
“I’m being realistic,” Mason argues.
“No, you’re being stupid.” I pull away from him and slump back against the seat. He doesn’t continue the argument, but it’s still raging inside my head. So his parents and Sloane say we can’t be together. Well, who says either of them are reliable sources? We’ve been lied to and kept in the dark since the day Robin showed up. Why would it be any different now?
Chapter 10
In The Balance
(Hayden)
My eyes roll open only to be faced with darkness. It takes me a few seconds to realize I’m not lying on a cot in my cell, but on an actual bed. That one realization makes me pretty dang happy. Reaching up to adjust my pillow, I realize I’m not alone. I honestly can’t figure out why Olivia is in bed with me, but I figure I might as well take advantage of it. Once I’ve gotten my pillow back under my head, I pull her in a little closer and close my eyes.
Somewhere in the back of my mind memories of last night hover, but I purposely keep them at bay for a little while longer. Rustling somewhere in the room alerts me to the fact that we’re not alone. I almost get worried, but I know Olivia wouldn’t be here without Mason. Thinking of Mason sets me to wondering why Olivia is next to me instead of him. My thoughts are still a bit muddled. It’s the lack of pain I’m feeling that finally clues me in.
The dim pre-dawn light makes everything look gray, so checking for injuries doesn’t work out so well, but I feel a million times better. My arm tightens around Olivia as I realize it was her doing. She doesn’t respond. When I look over at her, I can see well enough by now to spot the dark circles under her eyes. She didn’t look like this last night.
Given that I never had the chance to really use my powers as an Escort, the only experience I have with using it is when I helped Olivia a few times. She taught me enough that I can recognize the feel of her power. The slow but strong hum of her power is familiar, but its usual hearty thrumming seems lethargic against mine, like she’s bone tired.
I remember the night we rescued Mason all too well. He was so close to dying, neither of us were sure he’d make it. Olivia saved him, but she walked away from healing him just as strong as ever. Clearly, healing another Escort doesn’t work that way. Part of me wants to push her away out of fear of taking anything else from her, but after taking a quick stock of my injuries and realizing there’s nothing left for her to heal I relax and just hold her.
I must fall back asleep at some point, because the next time I open my eyes the room is filled with soft light filtering in through the partially opened curtains. Turning to Olivia, I find her still happily unconscious. Hushed voices draw my attention to the other side of the room where two figures sit at a little table. I have to blink a few times to clear my vision enough to recognize Mason and the girl from last night.
Either I made enough noise trying to look around to spot them, or they’ve been watching for me to wake up. Regardless, they both turn to look at me with expectant expressions. “How are you feeling?” Mason asks.
“Uh, fine, actually. Olivia must have taken care of everything during the night.”
Mason stands and walks over to the bed. I half expect him to say something about the way I’ve still got my arm around her, but he only sits down on the edge of the bed and draws her hair back from her face. “Actually, it’s been a full twenty-four hours since we rescued you. How is she doing?”
“Exhausted. I don’t think she’ll be getting up for a while.”
Mason doesn’t seem surprised by this, but then again, the big black circles under Olivia’s eyes are hard to miss. I start to get up, feeling just a bit uncomfortable, but Mason shakes his head. “No, stay with her for now. It seems to help.” He says it calmly, but I can tell it hurts him to say it. Mason shakes it off quickly, though, and says, “Sloane and I will come over here so we can start filling you in on everything that’s happened.”
When he motions for Sloane to join us, she gets up and glares at the floor for some reason. I don’t understand why until I hear muffled grumbling from behind the bed and remember Robin. Yeah, it’s definitely time for some answers. A few seconds later, Sloane an
d Mason are parked next to the bed. I struggle up to sitting, but keep my left hand on Olivia’s shoulder. When I face my friend, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“Well, let me just start from when we last saw each other.”
So he does. I listen as Mason explains how Robin was able to hitch a ride with them back to the Aerling world by grabbing Olivia’s hair and the damage that simple act caused. That all seems basic enough, but things really get weird after that. I’m not sure I’m understanding everything as he tells me about meeting Tāwhiri, or about his and Olivia’s connection to him and being named as his heirs. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to my muddled brain, but I listen closely and file it all away for later.
When Mason finally finishes explaining everything that happened in the Aerling world and at the Sentinel compound, he looks worn out. I have about a billion questions, but I figure he deserves a break and turn to Sloane instead. “So, how’d you get sucked into all of this?”
“I volunteered,” she says.
“Really? Why?”
Sloane’s head cocks to one side. “Because you’re Levi’s Escort.”
“Was,” I say tightly. “I was his Escort, and I failed to protect him. Why would you want to come here and help me?”
“There was nothing you could have done to protect him,” Sloane argues. “Olivia showed me what happened.”
Showed her?
“Levi’s death wasn’t your fault,” she continues.
“You don’t know anything about it,” I snap. Mason eyes me curiously, but I keep a tight hold on my thoughts and memories alike. The Sentinel’s words swim through my mind, taunting me, blaming me. Pushing his voice aside only fires up my anger even more.
“Regardless,” Sloane says, “you’re a part of my brother. The only piece left. I knew I needed to come here and help you.”
Feeling oddly angry at this girl’s desire to help me, I turn back to Mason. “So, do we have a plan for finding the Mother?”
“The plan depends on Olivia.” Mason glances over at her worriedly. “Tāwhiri said she could find her. Right now, all we can do is wait for her to wake up. Once she’s ready, she’ll do the same thing she did to find you and we’ll go wherever she tells us to go.”
Rubbing my hand across my face, I shake my head. “Not much of a plan.”
“No,” Mason says, “but it’s all we’ve got.”
I shrug. “Us and plans don’t seem to be a great mix anyway.”
“No they don’t, unless we’re talking about breakfast,” Mason says with a laugh. “Sloane went down and got muffins and bagels from the lobby breakfast bar if you’re hungry.”
“I’m not hungry quite yet,” I admit. My stomach still feels a bit unsteady after all that healing. Mason leans back in his chair looking beat. I don’t imagine he got much sleep since my rescue, considering I looked like I’d been run over by a truck and Olivia was consumed with healing me. Even with him and Sloane keeping watch, that’s not much time left for catching any shuteye.
Mason seems about to doze off when a thought occurs to me. I feel bad disturbing him, but I have to ask. “Mason, how is Olivia planning on finding the Mother when she’s never met her?”
Shaking off his mounting weariness, Mason shrugs. “I’m not sure what you mean. Won’t she be able to just do what she did to find me and you?”
I know I’m not anywhere near as experienced at being an Escort as Olivia is, but I shake my head. “She has to know who she’s looking for.”
“How do you know that?” Sloane asks.
“Because I was with her when she tracked down Mason, and because I could feel her searching for me.” When they both just stare at me in confusion, I try to explain a little better. “When she went after Mason, she had to focus her power on him, on how much she missed him and needed to be with him and protect him. Once she got the hang of it, finding him felt natural. I know it was a little different with me, but the same basic principles apply. She had to be focusing on me in order to find me, using her memories and our connection as Escorts to strengthen her power.”
Sloane and Mason glance at each other, sharing a look I don’t really understand. Sloane drops her eyes while Mason turns back to face me. “I get how you know about finding me. You were with her, and she explained it in more depth later, though clearly you understood it better than I did. But, how do you know what she was doing when she tried to find you?”
“I already told you, I felt it.”
Mason looks at me skeptically. Sighing, I shake my head. It’s too early in the morning to be this serious. “She sent me the message first, right? Telling me you guys were coming to get me.” I wait for Mason to nod before continuing. “Then she had to stop and search again three times before you guys made your rescue attempt, right?” Mason and Sloane nod this time.
“Look, I don’t totally understand it, but Escorts are able to connect, emotionally. It’s mainly been a comfort thing so far, but when she was searching, it almost felt like she was drawing on me, strengthening our connection or something so she could find her way to me. Every time I felt her make contact, I’d start thinking about the time we’ve spent together and I figured it was because she was doing the same thing.”
Sloane’s voice is small as she says, “That’s exactly what Olivia was doing.” Her words seem to carry more weight than what I can understand right now.
Mason sighs heavily and scrubs a hand through his already messed up hair. “What does this all mean for finding the Mother?”
I feel like the answer should be obvious by now, but I just got over a concussion and various other head injuries. “It means Olivia has to have something to connect her to the Mother in order to find her. Without that, we’ll just be wandering around blind.”
Usually I’m the last person to be accused of being a killjoy, but Sloane and Mason both seem to deflate at that news. Mason eventually stands and says, “I’m going to step out for a few minute to get some air and clear my head.”
He’d probably be better off going back to bed, but I don’t say anything. Mason doesn’t leave right away, though. He reaches across the bed, but hesitates before squeezing Olivia’s hand. His expression is pained as he turns away and escapes the heavy atmosphere of the room. I know I’ve missed a lot over the last couple days, but that seemed a little weird.
“Two questions,” I say to Sloane once Mason is gone. “Question one. Any idea why I can see you?”
“Not a single one.”
That’s what I figured. Add that to the list, I guess. “Second question. Is something going on between Mason and Olivia that nobody’s bothered to mention?”
Sloane’s face twists uncertainly, which is a clear yes, but not enough to actually explain anything. My insistent glare eventually gets her talking. “Before we left the Aerling world, Mason’s parents, they, uh, told Mason that he can’t be with Olivia unless he’s willing to forfeit being an Aerling.”
“What?”
“Aerlings and humans aren’t supposed to have physical relationships,” Sloane says quietly. “If an Aerling does, it will strip them of their power and leave them stranded here on Earth, lost from their Aerling families, completely devoid of purpose.” Sloane looks away. “For Mason, it would mean losing Molly when she goes home. For the Aerlings, it would be even worse. Mason and Olivia are Tāwhiri’s heirs. If they abandon us, all of Tāwhiri’s power will be lost to us. He’s protected our world from the Sentinels for centuries. Without that protection, fixing the barrier might not be enough.”
For a moment, all I can do is stare at Sloane. “You’ve got to be joking, right? After everything they’ve been through, after everything they’ve survived, some Aerling god tells them they can’t be together and that’s it? That doesn’t make any sense! Why would having sex with a human girl take away Mason’s powers?”
Sloane shrugs, looking uncomfortable. I don’t particularly care about that right now. I want answers and I refuse to back down until s
he starts talking. “I don’t know how it works,” Sloane says, “but it’s happened before. I just know that we’re expected to put our brothers and sisters above our own needs. Choosing the human world over our own is treasonous. Protecting ourselves from the Sentinels is our top priority.”
“Why?” I demand. “Why are the Aerlings so important?”
Cocking her head to one side, Sloane considers me thoughtfully. “Because without us, you would all die.”
Honestly it takes a few seconds for that to sink in. “What?”
“Hayden, what makes your planet different from the others in this solar system?”
“Water,” I say with a shrug. That’s what NASA is always looking for on other planets, right?
“And?” Sloane hints.
At first, I don’t know what she’s expecting me to say. Then it hits me. “An atmosphere. Air.” She nods slowly, but I’m still not sure I get it. “So, what? Are you claiming that the Aerlings created Earth?”
“No,” Sloane says, “but we were charged with protecting the life on this planet since before its creation. If we’re destroyed, life on Earth will fail because there will be no one left to protect its life-sustaining structure. The Aerlings keep your world in balance, though with our dwindling numbers, it’s been more difficult over the last century.”
My head shakes back and forth slowly. “So, we’re not just trying to save the Aerlings.”
“We’re trying to save both worlds,” Sloane says.
Sitting back against the headboard, I feel sick as I let everything sink in. The fate of not one world, but two are hanging in the balance. On the shoulders of four teenagers. I can’t even comprehend how many lives will be lost if we fail. What is one relationship between an Aerling and human in comparison to that? It should seem so miniscule in that light, but strangely, it doesn’t. I can’t explain why, but the longer I think about it, the more important it seems that Mason and Olivia shouldn’t be kept apart. Maybe the fate of two worlds doesn’t rest on the four of us. Maybe it’s just Mason and Olivia that will determined the future of the Aerling and human worlds. It rings true as soon as the thought forms in my head. Somehow, they will determine everyone’s fates.
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