Mason shrugs. “I have no idea.” He looks over at Olivia, but she doesn’t have the answer, either.
None of us do, but that’s not exactly a new thing, right? Shaking my head, I say, “We’ll figure it out when we get there, I guess.”
That’s the best any of us have for now.
Chapter 28
Weight of Two Worlds
(Mason)
“This is so much harder without Sloane,” Olivia complains.
I’m tempted to laugh at that statement. I’d almost think Olivia missed Sloane the way she said it. “Take a break from searching,” I tell Olivia. “You’ve been at it for hours and the Mother isn’t going anywhere. Just relax for a while. We don’t want to get too close, yet, anyway. Not until Sloane and Hayden get back.”
Thankfully, Olivia takes my advice and tucks her power away. She leans her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes a few seconds later. I know she’s not asleep, but I let her rest and keep my concerns and worries to myself for now. There are too many to voice anyway.
The road stretches on for a long time, blending together into an endless tableau of sand, scrub brush, and bluffs. I’m not even sure where we are right now. Nevada maybe? No, I think we crossed out of Nevada a few hours ago. I suppose that would put us in Arizona. We’re south of where we need to be, but we can’t get too close. Olivia was worried about staying in one place too long, as well, just in case the Mother gets wind of our search and decides to find us.
Although, the Mother may not be limited like that in the first place. Tū claimed he couldn’t fly as his reason for following us. If he can’t fly, he can certainly do something else that lets him travel quickly. Olivia hasn’t yet questioned how Tū was able to transport her to the valley he and Tane created for the Mother, but I suspect that’s only because she has a million other things to worry about right now. I do to, but it’s been bothering me for a while now.
I know it wasn’t just an illusion. Olivia was gone. We searched the shelter for her. No one saw her the entire time we were out in the city searching, either. She simply reappeared exactly where she had been taken. How did he manage that? Is the Mother capable of the same thing, or is that some sort of ability Tū possesses? We really have no way of knowing, but if Tū’s ability to transport himself between places extends to the Aerling world once the barrier is gone, we’ll have no hope of keeping him here.
Tū escaping won’t mean the end to our fight. I’ll follow him back to the Aerling world, but I want to avoid exposing the remaining Aerlings to a showdown like that at all costs. The Earth is in danger of being destroyed if the Mother wins, but the Aerling world is already on the precipice of dying. I fear a battle between Tū and I will bring it to its knees.
The first war between the Aerling gods almost destroyed them. A second one…. My thoughts trail off as I consider that concept. The first war was truly a war between gods. This war? I’m not a god like the Caretakers thought I was. I was meant to protect the Aerlings and the world we came from, but what will I be by the end of this battle? If everything works the way it’s supposed to, I’ll be holding not only part of Tāwhiri’s power, but the Mother’s and Father’s power as well…and possibly Tū’s.
Is it even possible for one Aerling to contain that much power? What will that do to me if I wasn’t meant to hold so much? What will it do to Olivia?
“What’s bothering you right now?” Olivia asks. Her voice is soft, not at all sleepy as it should be. We’re both exhausted, but sleeping with so much weighing on your mind isn’t easy.
Sighing, I kiss her forehead before turning back to face the road. “There’s too much power involved in all of this. Too much for one person, or even two people, to hold at once.”
“I’ve been thinking about what Sloane said, too,” Olivia admits. No doubt it’s part of why she’s still awake. “We can’t keep everything we take. It’s not right, and I think it will hurt us to try and contain that much power.”
“What makes you say that?” I ask.
Olivia shrugs then curls her hands around the arm she’s resting against. “I don’t know. Logic, I guess. Instinct? That’s just too much power, and the Aerlings are already running out. They need all the power back they can get.”
“What’s trapped here should make its way home once the barrier fails completely,” I say, even though I know it’s not really a defense. I don’t even want to keep the power. I just worry I won’t be able to do anything with it in the end. What happens if I’m stuck with it? What responsibility will that require? And for how long?
That’s the thought that really kicks me in the shins. The Mother and Father, even Tū and Tāwhiri, they’ve been around for millennia. Since the beginning of both our worlds. If I take their power…what made them live so long? Was it the power, or was it their makeup? If I survive this, will I be stuck ruling over the other Aerlings for eternity? What if the same thing doesn’t happen to Olivia? Sloane said she became less human when she crossed into the Aerling world, but what if it’s not enough? Will I be forced to live on as I am now while she ages and slips away from me? No amount of power would be worth such a cruel existence.
“Talk to me,” Olivia says.
I balk at sharing my thoughts. I don’t want to put any more fears or pressure on her than she already feels. Falling back on our earlier conversation, I say, “I think we need to give the power back when this is over.”
“How?”
Glancing down at her, I see her trusting expression and panic sets in. “I don’t know. Can’t we just do what you did with Hayden? You said giving up power is easy. Easier than trying to take it, anyway.”
Olivia frowns and sits up. Her hand slides down my arm to take mine, but she’s focused on her response. “Giving power to someone else is easy, for an Escort, once you understand why you’re doing it. If I need to protect you or the other Aerlings, letting go of my power is simple, but I’m giving it to someone. Just letting it go…I’m not sure how to do that. I have to have a reason for giving it up and a person to give it to. I’m not sure how an Aerling gives up power, either. That’s not what they’re made for.”
“I guess we could just have sex,” I tease.
Chuckling, Olivia says, “As appealing as that definitely sounds, it wouldn’t solve our problem. Sloane said that power given up like that is lost to the Aerlings.”
“But maybe that was only because of the barrier. Aerlings obviously weren’t having sex with humans in the Aerling world. It could only happen here, where the power would get trapped on this side of the barrier.”
I don’t think Olivia had considered that before. Her mouth pulls down in a frown as she thinks. “Maybe that’s true,” she says quietly, “but it wouldn’t just take away the extra power, Mason. It would take away everything. You wouldn’t be an Aerling anymore.”
Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her closer. “I’m not so sure that would be a bad thing.”
Olivia’s frown deepens. She seems upset by what I’ve said, but whatever is going through her mind, she clearly keeps it to herself when she says, “There will be other effects from taking away the Aerling gods’ power.”
Willing to let her change the topic for now, I stow the previous problems for the time being, and address this new concern. “What sort of effects?”
“If we take their power, what happens to the things they’ve created from their power?” Olivia looks up at me, deep worry filling her eyes. “The Father helped make some of the Aerlings. The Mother made the Caretakers. Tū made the Sentinels. What happens to all of them when take away their creators’ power?”
After a moment of panic for the Parkers, my heart rate climbs back down to normal. “The Caretakers will be fine,” I say in relief. “The Mother wouldn’t use any of her own power, remember? She stole the Earth’s power to make them. They’re linked to this world, not to the Mother.”
“What about the Aerlings and Sentinels?” I’m sure the fear she’s still h
olding is more for the Aerlings than the Sentinels, but even that is a lot to contend with.
It takes me a while to think through this problem and offer up an answer. “Regular Aerlings, the ones the Father and Tāwhiri created, they aren’t like their creators, right? They don’t live forever like the gods seem to.”
I guess we never really asked Cedrick for specifics on Aerling life spans, but Olivia is nodding, a hopeful expression on her face. “You’re right. Sloane was telling me about her family the other day. Her dad died shortly after she made it back to the Aerling world. There aren’t any diseases or violence in the Aerling world. Death only comes from old age. It didn’t sound like it was an abnormal amount of years, either.”
Olivia’s free hand runs through her hair as she processes this new insight. “Whatever Aerlings the Father helped create, they’re long gone, right? They have to be.”
“That’s what I would think. The power he used has either reverted back to him or been absorbed back into the world.” I feel like I’m carrying a slightly heavier load as we both agree that the Aerlings shouldn’t be affected by the Father’s loss of power.
“That only leaves the Sentinels,” Olivia says. The scorn in her voice hints that she doesn’t feel any overwhelming concern for their fates, but it’s something to consider all the same.
Personally, I wouldn’t be heartbroken to see the last of them, but it’s difficult to know if they are truly evil, or simply under Tū’s spell. “I don’t know what will happen to them,” I admit. “Tū said they barely contain any of his power, but he also made it clear that they’re connected enough that any power they absorb from murdered Aerlings flows right to him.”
“Well,” Olivia says, “whatever happens to them happens. As long as the Caretakers and Aerlings are safe, that’s our biggest concern.”
For a few miles, we both watch the road fly by. My eyes start to drift closed soon after that. Worry that I’ll fall asleep makes me pull off the road at the first motel I see. It looks vaguely like something Norman Bates might own, but we just need somewhere to take a break before I get us both killed. I have no delusions of hiding from Tū after what happened today, but I feel confident that he’ll keep his distance for now.
I didn’t see his scar change, but I felt his pain when I caused it. That two-second reminder of what I can do if I can just unlock my memories should be enough to give us a peaceful night’s rest. I know I need to figure out what I did and how to do it again, but after I pay for our room and pull around to the second row of squat little rooms, all I want to do is curl up with Olivia and forget everything.
We’re lying in bed half an hour later before Olivia brings up our discussion again. “Taking someone’s power is dangerous,” she says. Her quiet voice is barely above a whisper, but I have no trouble hearing it.
“I know.” I only have fragmented memories of the first time I took Tū’s power, a panicked and desperate attempt to save myself, to back that opinion, but I know it’s true.
“I don’t…” Curled up against my side, I can feel Olivia swallow her words.
Kissing her cheek lightly before pulling her in even more, I ask, “You don’t what?”
Olivia sighs, her fingers tightening around my t-shirt. “I don’t think you can just let your power go if you want to give it up. I think, you’ll have to take it out by force…like you did with Tū.”
“If that’s true...”
Olivia looks up at me with tearful eyes. “Mason, tearing out a being’s power either kills them or leaves them completely destroyed. If you have to…I mean, if we have to, it could kill us.”
All of my earlier thoughts come rushing back in. A never-ending life where I watch Olivia age and die, it sounds so horrible. Killing her while trying to strip away the excess power is infinitely worse. An ache starts deep in my soul just thinking about it. I would take an eternity without her after having had a long life together over being the reason for her death any day.
I can’t let her take in any of the power we plan to steal. I won’t let her die. I can’t. I will let myself burn up from holding too much power before I let something like that happen to her. I was born to protect the Aerlings, but a purpose born of blood can never trump my desire to see Olivia safe and happy.
Pulling Olivia so her back is pressed against my chest, I hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her. “The power belongs to the Aerlings, not us. We’ll find a way to give it back,” I promise.
“Yeah, but…”
Cutting her off with a kiss meant to distract, I whisper against her lips, “I won’t let anything hurt you.”
“It may not be up to you, Mason.” She brushes her palm along the length of my cheek, back into my hair where her fingers tangle themselves. “Do you remember that time you called from the Parker’s house and we talked about what it is to be family, what you sometimes have to sacrifice for them?”
My throat constricts and I start shaking my head before she can say another word. “I won’t do it, Ollie. I won’t.”
“They’re your family every bit as much as I am,” she soothes. “Family means sacrifice.”
“Not you. I won’t sacrifice you.”
“You said…” Olivia’s lips press together to keep them from trembling. “You said I’m what you love most.”
“You are,” I say, my voice pleading, begging her to stop, to not ask me to do this.
Olivia’s chin is trembling as she says, “I’m not an Aerling, Mason. I can’t hold the amount of power you can. I wasn’t meant to. Giving it up afterward, it might not be something I can survive, not if taking the small amount you did from Tū scarred him like it did.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can hold it all myself if I have to. I won’t put any of it on you.” I try to promise her, but she shakes her head because we both know I will most likely have precious little to no control over what happens when I start trying to pull power away from the Aerling gods.
Reaching up, Olivia kisses my mouth hard. When she pulls back, her salty tears slip over my lips. Her mouth hovering over mine, Olivia whispers, “Family means sacrifice, and sometimes the cost is what you love most. If that means me, you still have to do it, Mason. You have to promise.”
“I can’t.” My chest heaves at the thought of losing her. “I can’t do it, Ollie.”
She kisses me again, this time more softly. “Yes you can.” Another kiss. “I know you won’t let two worlds die just to save me.” Another kiss, this one more softly still. “You know it, too.” She kisses me slowly once more before saying, “Promise me.”
“No,” I say in defiance, but Olivia remains quiet. She doesn’t argue because she knows me better than anyone in either world. I love her more than I could ever explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced what we have. I would give up anything for her. She is my heart, my soul…but we both know I could never condemn both our worlds to destruction.
She is my family, what I love most in this world or the one I was born to, but if I have no other choice, I will sacrifice both our lives to save what no one else can. She knows this as surely as I do, so she doesn’t argue. She pulls my arms more tightly around her body, her fingers twisting together with mine as we hold each other and try not to suffocate under the weight of two worlds.
Chapter 29
Consumed
(Hayden)
I reach out for Sloane as soon as we land, but she’s actually faring better than I am. Aerlings. They cheat at this whole traveling between worlds business. Sloane doesn’t comment on the fact that I need a little longer than she does to acclimate. By the time I’m standing up straight and breathing normally again, she’s at my side, slipping her hand into mine.
Not that I don’t appreciate having skin to skin contact with her, but I pull out of her grip with reluctance. When she looks at me questioningly, I say, “I think they’re wrong about the whole ban thing, but we don’t have time to explain all of that or deal with any problems someone might have with u
s being together.”
One corner of Sloane’s mouth quirks up. “Together?” There’s a happy gleam in her eyes despite the reason for us being here. It’s infectious.
Grabbing her hand again, I pull her the short step it takes to get her into my arms. She’s caught off guard when I lose myself in kissing her for a few heart-stopping seconds before pulling back. Her eyes are wide with surprise as she stares at me. I chuckle at her delight. “What? You think I go around kissing every girl I meet like that?” I tease. “Together, yes, but there’s no time for dealing with any prejudices right now. It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Good to know,” Sloane says with a decidedly shaky voice.
Giving her one more quick kiss, I’m grinning as I shove her away from me playfully. She attempts to contain her own smile, but fails pretty miserably, which I don’t really mind. It’s tempting to grab her again, but the buzz of Aerlings going about their business outside the grove of trees catches my attention and reminds me of why we’re here. That’s enough to sober us both up pretty fast.
“Where do we…” Sloane’s question gets cut off by the harried arrival of the exact person we need.
“You’re back!” Cedrick exclaims. “Is it time then? Have you come for the Father?”
That was fast. “How’d you know we got here so fast?”
“I’ve been watching the grove since you and Olivia left.” His eyes dart between Sloane and I, his lips pursing as he considers us. That makes me squirm just a little. He clearly saw us kissing. Instead of berating us, though, he shakes his head. “I don’t have time to deal with you two. We’ll have to sort it out later. The Father takes precedence.”
I completely agree…for more than one reason. Cedrick reminds me a lot of my dad and I’ve never enjoyed having to face my dad after doing something he didn’t agree with. Putting all of that aside, I say, “Lead the way. Olivia told me what we need to do.”
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