It was really quite remarkable. Did people usually hang around outside theatres so long after a performance like this? She had no idea, but doubted it. Yet here they still were, many of then talking animatedly about the excitement of it all, clearly unwilling to go their ways and leave all the glitter behind, and feeling suddenly very tired and dispirited Charlie smoothed her hands over her head and then turned and went walking away towards the hospital, a bare few minutes away.
What had promised to be a treat had turned out to be something rather disagreeable, even threatening, and she was puzzled by how alarmed she felt. Why should I? she asked herself as she went trudging round the Aldwych past the Waldorf Astoria Hotel, into which many of her fellow theatregoers were disappearing. It makes no difference to me that he was so huge a success, does it? Why feel so uneasy?
And because she had always been as honest with herself as she knew how to be she faced the question fairly. Is it jealousy? Am I unable to cope with a man who can get that sort of attention from a theatre full of strangers? But she could absolve herself from that. At one level she was genuinely glad for him, had been truly happy to see the way his eyes had gleamed with excited pleasure at the response he got. She grudged him no part of it, and no one could ever convince her she did.
But it wasn’t really right, a corner of her mind whispered. It was Katy who had made him look so good. It wasn’t him at all, was it? That’s what makes you feel so uncomfortable about it all. If he had truly earned that ovation, that thunderous appreciation, she would be glorying in the fact. But it had been Katy who had deserved it. Katy who, showing an unselfishness that Charlie would never have believed possible, had given him that experience of adulation and that, Charlie told herself as at last she crept into bed and tried to settle herself to sleep, that is why I feel so bad. I’m not sure where he’s going to go from here, because unless Katy is there and is in as generous a mood, will he manage to achieve that again? And if he doesn’t, will he ever be satisfied?
Letty too was concerned, and her doubts sharpened even more when Mrs Alf brought her all the papers with her morning tea on Monday. She sat up in bed with her hair a tangle of grey on her forehead and read her way through adulatory notice after notice, and all the time her face was expressionless. It was, she told herself, every bit as bad as she had feared, and when at last she folded the last paper and got out of bed, leaving her tea untasted, to go and take her bath, her mood was a decidedly low one.
She spent a great deal of time on the telephone that morning, checking first to see how Rollo was, and was comforted to hear that Max had insisted he see Nellie’s orthopaedic expert, Mr Fitzsimmons, later that day.
‘I’ll do, Letty,’ Rollo had clacked into her ear when she finally managed to get his landlady to help him to the phone. ‘It’s happened to me before and I got over it then. Bit of a bind it happened in the middle of the show, though. Honestly, would you believe it? I hear he did well -’ He tried to sound casual but Letty wasn’t deceived.
‘A bit too well for his own good,’ she said acerbically. ‘Seen the papers?’
‘Mmm.’
‘The people who covered the show weren’t the theatre critics, of course,’ Letty said. ‘They sent their society writers and gossip people. So all we’ve got is damn all about what the show was really like, but all this stuff about our noble hero, mutilated by the fight against Hitler and now standing up to show his scars bravely and so on and so forth -’
‘I was in the Fleet Air Arm, you know,’ Rollo said very casually. ‘Invalided out with asthma, would you believe -’
‘I believe you,’ Letty said gently. ‘Never mind, Rollo. I’m mounting something new soon. I’ve decided that much - and I’ll find you something that’s just right. Just get well soon.’
‘Yes,’ Rollo said gratefully and she could feel him brighten even over the phone. ‘I say, Letty -’
‘Mmm?’
‘You really are no end of a brick, you know.’
‘Ba - poppycock,’ Letty said vulgarly, swallowing the first word that had come to her mind, and hung up. But she felt rather good, all the same.
Peter shared her unspoken concern when she managed to reach him. He had been out, he told her cheerfully when at last she managed to get him to the telephone. ‘Sophie had some coupons to spare and wanted some material for curtains. We’ve been all over the place and finally got it just round the corner at Whiteley’s - isn’t it ridiculous?’
‘You’re getting remarkably domestic,’ she said, unable to keep the hint of acid out of her voice, but he just laughed comfortably at that.
‘Aren’t I just! You all right today, Letty? Glad it’s over?’
‘Oh, yes, very - I’m trying to find out how much they’ve made for the fund, but I can’t get hold of Lee. Um - have you spoken to Brin this morning?’
‘Brin? No - should I have done?’
Letty laughed. ‘Oh, Peter, you really are wonderfully vague - my dear chap, haven’t you seen the papers?’
‘Sophie wanted to start shopping early,’ Peter said and Letty grinned, imagining the look there would be on his face.
‘Brin is a cross between Henry Irving, Garrick and
Beerbohm Tree, according to our more popular hacks. Listen to this -’ And she reached for a paper to read him the headlines. ‘ “Scarred war hero takes theatre by storm”,’ she recited in ponderous tones. ‘And here’s another one - “An unflawed acting talent makes its mark” - and then a lot of stuff about the damaged face that shows its underlying perfection, and oh - this one’s a real stunner. “The face that will launch a thousand heartbreaks.” That one comes with a photograph of Brin looking quite unbelievably brooding and sexy. Charles Boyer isn’t in it -’
There was a little silence and then Peter said carefully, ‘Did I miss something? I mean, I heard the fuss, but I thought - well, people are like that. They love a loser, and seeing the understudy go on always gets ’em - and he is a rather romantic figure I suppose, with that face, even though he didn’t actually get it fighting anyone-but I didn’t think the performance was all that good.’
‘It wasn’t,’ Letty said crisply. ‘Competent, I grant you. Nicely walked, if you see what I mean. It was Katy who did it, of course -’ She shook her head. ‘Overcome with guilt, the wretched minx, making all that trouble in the first place, so she gave him the stage. It really was a classic piece of Katyism - I’ve worked with her often enough to know what she can do. If only she’d been in the same sort of mood when she made The Lady Leapt High as she was last night, we’d have got a fantastic performance out of her, but there, that’s Katy. Unreliable.’
‘Of course she is. The girl’s a damned genius, but who ever said geniuses were easy to live with?’
‘I certainly never did,’ Letty said grimly and then sighed. ‘Look, Peter, what do I do now? He’ll expect a star part in the next Gaff production but I can’t give him that, whatever happened last night. He just isn’t up to it -’
‘With that sort of publicity, Letty, my dear, there is every chance that someone else will try to snap him up,’ Peter said and Letty brightened.
‘Now, there is a cheerful thought! I like it - thanks, Peter. I’ll call you later in the week. I’ve got ideas for a new production - this blessed Benefit’s put the bit back between my teeth -’
‘Surprise, surprise,’ Peter said and laughed softly. ‘Well, let me know. I need a job, after all.’
‘Feeling ready for one?’ She tried to sound casual, but it was difficult, and Peter laughed again.
‘Sophie says I am,’ he said. ‘And I rather think you know, that I’ll have to do as I’m told. She isn’t someone you can argue with easily, quiet though she is.’
‘That’s all right then,’ Letty said with great satisfaction, and hung up. Whatever problems she might still face with Brin, she told herself cheerfully, as once again she tried to get Lee’s number, at least Peter’s all right. I really think I can stop worrying about him at last.
23
When the phone rang again Lee looked at it, and actually tucked her hands under her arms to stop herself from answering it. I had enough yesterday, she thought defensively. There’s a limit to what I can cope with; but then the phone stopped ringing as Nanny picked it up on the nursery extension and she relaxed. Nanny, lovely, fiercely loyal Nanny, would gladly lie for her if she told her she didn’t want to speak to him -
But it wasn’t Harry after all. ‘Dame Letty,’ said Nanny, putting her head round the drawing-room door and preening a little, clearly finding glory in answering telephones to Dames and then, as Stella came bumbling past her into the room, swooped on the small bundle and bore her protesting loudly to her morning rest as Lee picked up the phone.
‘Letty? You must be psychic,’ she said. ‘I was going to call you.’
‘I couldn’t wait - do we have a total yet?’
‘We do - a lovely one. The Board of Governors are going to be exceedingly happy people, and exceedingly grateful. We’ve reached our target and gone more than five hundred over the top - £10,522 we made. Which means the appeal has to get only another £9,500 or so and we’ve got our new block and a bit more besides -’
‘Only!’ Letty laughed. ‘Ye gods, when I think how long it’s taken and how tough it’s been to get what we got, the mind boggles. Still, I’m delighted you did so well. Congratulations.’
‘Congratulations to you,’ Lee said warmly. ‘You’ve been absolutely marvellous - we’re enormously grateful and -’
‘Oh, pooh,’ Letty said rudely. ‘Listen, Lee, I want to talk about you. How are you?’
‘I’m very well,’ Lee said, on her guard at once.
‘Hmm. And the children?’
‘Oh, they’re marvellous!’ At once Lee became more animated. ‘This morning Michael said that -’
‘Dear girl, I bow to no one in my regard for your offspring, but I do not require a blow by blow account of every one of their winning little ways.’ There was no malice in Letty’s tone, but she was very definite. ‘I wanted only to know you were all well. And Harry?’
‘He seems fine.’ Lee’s voice was quite colourless.
‘Oh, Lee, for heaven’s sake, this is me, remember? Now, tell me. What’s happening?’
There was a little silence and then Lee said unwillingly, ‘Well, I’m still here.’
‘Yes, I’d noticed that.’ Lee could almost see the smile on Letty’s face at the other end of the line. ‘I’m glad.’
‘It’s only a - a temporary arrangement, though,’ Lee said. ‘I mean - the possibility is still there. Of going, that is. It’s just that -’
‘You agreed to try again?’
‘I agreed not to move out for another month,’ Lee said. ‘That’s all. The house is still there, the new one, but I let Nanny’s brother and his family borrow it until the middle of August. They live in Newquay in Cornwall, and they were able to get a good amount from letting their house there to summer visitors, so Nanny asked if -’
‘My dear, I don’t give a tuppenny damn about Nanny’s brother’s domestic arrangements. I’m just delighted to hear you two are talking.’
‘I didn’t say that -’
‘Then it’s time you did. You’ve agreed to stay with Harry for a while - well, that’s a good beginning. Now, for heaven’s sake, use the time well.’
‘Letty, please, I do wish you’d -’
‘I know, mind my own business. Well, as far as I’m concerned I’m doing just that. Harry is an ass and often behaves like a spoiled baby but he’s my nephew as well as a basically good chap and I really am very attached to him. He’s like my own son, really. Silly, isn’t it? Here I am with a great raft of nieces and nephews, and it’s Harry I feel closest to - and that gives me permission to meddle, doesn’t it? And -’
‘He did very well, didn’t he? Your other nephew, I mean - I’ve never heard such applause -’
There was a little silence and then Letty laughed again. ‘All right, my dear, I’ll shut up. For the present. Yes, he did very well. With his sister’s help, of course -’
‘Yes.’ Lee stopped again. It really was depressing *** put it mildly, how everything seemed to come back to Harry. Harry and Katy, hateful sneering Katy - and she shook her head at herself and said as brightly as she could, ‘Darling Letty, I really must go. Stella’s giving Nanny a bad time over her morning nap and I think I’ll have to go and intervene. I’ll let you know how the appeal goes in all the other directions - the garden fête in St Paul’s Churchyard next month should bring in quite a lot and there’s to be a late summer ball too - we should get our target. Thanks again for all you did for us -’ And she cradled the phone gratefully and leaned back in her corner of the sofa.
Around her the house was still, for Stella had after all stopped crying, falling asleep with the suddenness of the very young, and there was nothing more for her to do until she went to collect Sarah from her nursery class at lunchtime, and she moved restlessly at that awareness. To have nothing to do was dreadful; she hadn’t realized just how good for her it had been to have the Benefit to keep her working. While she had been bustling about over advertisements for the brochure and begging for cheap printing and all the rest of it, she hadn’t been able to think so much about herself. But now, with the whole thing completed, the pressure of her own situation became that much greater.
She closed her eyes against that thought, but that just made it worse. All she could see was Harry’s face with its patient pleading look on it and she snapped her eyes open again and stared at the expanse of sunny window that faced her. She’d have to make her decision soon; she couldn’t go on like this. And heaven knew she was well aware of what decision she wanted to make.
She wanted to believe him, wanted to yield to his assurances that he was different now, that he had only behaved so badly and had all those sordid affairs of his because he had loved her so much and had been so miserable because she had seemed so remote - but still she felt uncertain. If only, she thought with a sharp little spurt of anger, if only I hadn’t told Letty, and she hadn’t talked to Harry. If he’d come to me of his own free will, it would have been different. As it is, I don’t know if he really wants me, or whether he’s trying to please Letty. She matters a lot to him and always has, and he’d do a great deal to make her approve of him.
And, Lee told herself, fanning the little spark of anger to make it stronger, needing the edge of its harshness to take the edge off her deeper pain, it’s me I want him to care about, no one else. I want all of his love or none of it, that’s the truth of the matter. And I just don’t know whether he’s telling the truth when he says I’ve got it - however much he spends all Sunday courting me, fussing over me, coaxing me, and however much he may rush to phone me while he’s at Nellie’s - and again the phone rang, urgently, and she looked at it, knowing that this time it was definitely Harry. Shall I answer it, let him talk, beg and plead again? Or shall I just ignore it, tell Nanny to tell him I’m out? It was getting to be a more and more difficult decision to make.
‘Well, now,’ Katy said with great satisfaction. ‘That is what I call a right turn up for the book.’
‘Isn’t it just!’ Brin said and leaned back and stretched his arms luxuriously above his head. ‘Who’d’a’ thunk it -’ And Katy giggled and settled herself more comfortably at the foot of his bed. His breakfast tray lay on the rumpled counterpane between them and they were sharing its contents with a degree of pleasure in each other’s company that they hadn’t found since they were very young indeed and had tumbled about the hay loft at the farm above Tansy Clough, making old Wilf the cowman furious at the mess they made.
‘Let me see it again,’ she commanded and held out her hand, and he threw the piece of flimsy paper across to her and she smoothed it out on her knee and read it carefully.
‘It’s good for a first contract,’ she pronounced at last. ‘And they really seem to want you. To send a cable this long and with such a detail
ed offer - it’s for real, no doubt about it -’
‘It’s marvellous,’ Brin said and grinned lazily at her. ‘Bloody marvellous - just wait till I tell ’em all -’
‘Not yet,’ Katy said sharply. ‘Not quite yet - we want to make sure. Send ’em a cable yourself asking for confirmation by post - tell ’em it’s got to be sent airmail right away or you’ll have to accept another of the offers that’ve been made to you and -’
Brin shot bolt upright, sending the tray tipping dangerously and slopping lukewarm tea onto the counterpane. ‘Are you mad? I’m going to send a cable accepting it, right away, that’s what I’m going to do -’
‘No you’re not,’ Katy said crisply. ‘Now, listen to me. I know Hollywood, ducks. I’ve been there, remember? And they’ll cut your throat for a nickel, hang you up to dry for a dime. You have to be as tough as they are to get on, play them at their own rotten game. Don’t be a bloody fool and go licking their boots, wagging your tail in gratitude! If you do that they’ll think you’re not worth a row of beans. It’s playing hard to get that matters - ask Theo -’
‘Theo? You want me to talk to Theo? I thought you two hated each other -’
She shrugged that away. ‘Oh, that’s not important. We have our rows, always have, right from the start. But he taught me how to handle Hollywood, and he was right. He’ll tell you the same -’ She frowned then, suddenly thoughtful. ‘Come to think of it, I suspect I recognize Theo’s hand in this already.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘How is it they’ve heard so soon? It’s Monday - the show was Saturday night. Even allowing for the time differences being in their favour and all that, how did they hear so soon what sort of reception you got and -’ She looked down at the cable again and nodded with an air of great satisfaction. ‘Of course this is Theo’s doing! He cabled ’em and tipped them off. He’s had it in for his studio for years, wanting to get out, but he’s a touch too expensive now to say the very least, and the other studios haven’t exactly been falling over themselves to pay the asking price for his contract. But if he gets someone good for one of the other big boys, they’ll owe him, and he’ll make sure he collects. Oh, he’s a cunning bastard, is Theo, but you’ve got to hand it to him - he always gets what he wants. He got me out there to the West Coast as part of a scheme to get a part he wanted for himself, and now he’s using you in the same sort of way -’
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