Aakil sprang into action. “Hello. Are you from Hope?”
The man’s eyes widened. He jerked his head around, looking for the source.
Aakil sighed and covered the microphone. “Well, at least I know he can hear me.” He removed his hand and spoke into the microphone again. “We can see you through the Security system. My name is Aakil, and I spoke to Axel on the radio.”
The man’s face brightened. He turned around and motioned for others to join him.
“Look at the floor for the red lights. Follow them to find us. Most of the dome seems abandoned. But stay on guard in case we missed anyone. When you get to a large open space under the glass, our people will be there.”
The man nodded eagerly and rushed down the hall with a long trail of men following behind.
Aakil looked back at Colin. “Do you want to patch me into the atrium to make sure our people don’t shoot them?”
Colin looked as though he could fall asleep, but his fingers moved deftly across the keyboard. “There. You’re patched in everywhere. I think you should make an announcement to everyone and ask any people left inside the dome to surrender.”
“You don’t want to do it.” Aakil looked back at Freya, but she only nodded her refusal. “Okay then. I’ll handle things around here, while you guys go handle the Head of State.”
“Thanks,” Colin muttered. “Freya and I need to talk first.”
“Of course. Get your heads on straight before you question him.”
Colin nodded and slowly stood from his seat. She agreed. They needed to talk strategy, but this conversation would be of a more personal nature.
Chapter 22
Freya
Her core burned as though she could explode at any second. There was only one thought circulating Freya’s mind: I wish I could go for a run right now.
They snaked their way through the halls and into the underground walkway at Colin’s somber pace. His calm demeanor made her feel explosive. A string of questions spun in her mind. If he didn’t already know about her and Lewis, then why was he so melancholy? But how could he know? And how did Colin know him when she didn’t meet Lewis until after Colin left?
She followed his lead mindlessly. It all passed in a blur until suddenly, they were standing in front of an apartment. Just as he pushed inside, she saw the door number, 1515. Her breath hitched.
How does he even remember where this place is?
Colin wordlessly pushed straight through to the bedroom. Once inside, he slid down the wall, sitting on the floor, just as he had done the first time they ever entered this room together.
Being in this apartment with Colin was surreal. She remembered when he first left, all she wanted was to return home. Their home. But the apartment was reset before she woke up. Now that they were actually here, it felt like nothing more than a vacant apartment. Clearly, it was more to Colin.
Maybe since she’d walked past this area every day for almost 20 years in independent living, the nostalgia faded. Colin didn’t have the history inside the dome she did.
I should have told him everything the moment I woke up. Why did I wait? He would have dealt with it so much better then.
She peered out the bedroom window and looked at the view overlooking the dome. What a beautiful prison the State has put us in. That was what she had said on the first night of their coupling. She had thought the reflective pyramids of color over the geometric city structures were beautiful, despite feeling imprisoned. Now she saw nothing except deception. It was revolting.
Her hair swayed as she turned around and plopped down on the bed. Whatever their fate may be, it was time to face this. “It’s a good thing we came here to talk.”
Colin cleared his throat, yet his voice still cracked as he spoke. “I thought you’d want to go first.”
She didn’t. “How do you know Lewis?”
His breath hissed out. “I’d ask you the same question, but I’m afraid I don’t want to hear the answer. I hate that you know him. I hate that you knew him as Lewis. Clearly, the State always had big plans for him in order to keep that name for so long.”
Freya’s brows knitted together at the realization that Colin may understand the implication of her history with Lewis, but he hadn’t blatantly accused her of anything. So, why was he so upset?
“Colin, I didn’t expect us to know anyone left inside the dome, but it looks like our pasts have caught up to us. If we want to have a chance at getting any information out of Lewis, we need to get everything out in the open so he can’t trip us up. He’s trained for this sort of thing where we’re amateurs.”
Colin finally looked up at her. “Are we still on the same team?”
“What?”
He clenched his jaw and looked away. “You know, I’ve had one opinion of myself most of my life, and twice now, I’ve questioned what I’m capable of. I could have killed him. I wanted to. And it’s not that I was doing it to help us win against the State. In fact, I probably just messed up our best chance to get information.”
Her stomach churned. Colin didn’t know. Without realizing it, she had wanted him to already know. If he did, she would only have to face the consequences instead of seeing the pain, betrayal, or hatred flash in his eyes. But now, she had to watch as her words broke him.
“I can’t imagine what you think of me now.” Colin rubbed his face, blinking back tears.
“I think the same of you now as I did before.”
A few tears escaped Colin’s eyes. He quickly brushed them away and swallowed hard. He only nodded in response but seemed to slightly perk up.
“I know it’s hard, but try to put all those thoughts aside and give me the information I need before we interrogate him. How did you know him? What does he know about you?” She swallowed the acid rising in her throat from even the thought of her next question. “Did he know anything about us?”
“I met him after they arrested me. He was my prison guard from the time of my arrest until the spacecraft launch.”
“The entire time?” Her breath hitched. “How often did you see each other?”
“I saw him every day from the time I arrived until the moment I left.”
She blinked rapidly. “Every day! Did he sit there and watch you the entire time?” It suddenly clicked just how naïve she had been. How many lies she had fallen for. “He recognized you the second you burst into his office.”
Colin gave a dry, bitter laugh. “Oh, Lewis and I are old pals. It’s nice of him to remember me. I’d have killed him for sure if he didn’t.” His expression sobered. “He tortured me into compliance. Twice. Once when I refused to do my training and again because James hated me. He didn’t sit outside my cell, but he brought me every meal.”
Her skin blanched. “Oh.”
Memories of seeing Lewis torment and kill his parents flashed through her mind. Colin had told her that he had been tortured, but she never imagined what it would have looked like, smelled like, or worst of all, what vile person could ever hurt Colin like that. And it was someone that in a way, she had loved.
She hated herself, even more than Lewis. More than the dome. More than the High Council.
Colin will hate me. And I deserve it.
Colin’s head slowly swayed back and forth. “Yeah. I know he’s probably just another one of the State’s goons, like all the others. But, seeing him here… I just lost it. Obviously. It’s like everything the State ever did to me, everything they ever took from me, it was suddenly his fault. I mean, did he earn his stripes because of me? Or was destroying my life just another mission until something better came along? The fact he’s the Head of State, after everything, means he’s the worst, most evil person inside this organization. And now what he did just feels so damn personal.”
Freya reached her boiling point. Colin was already so upset. How could she tell him Lewis had done far worse than torment him? If she told him, she didn’t know if Colin had enough self-control to let Lewis live, even for a sho
rt time.
There had to be an interrogation. She might lose Colin in this process, but how could she abandon this fight just to save face? She was damned regardless of if she told him or not, but with telling him, their chances of gaining information to defeat the High Council increased.
“Actually, there are much worse people than him. And you don’t even know half of the reasons why you should hate him.”
Colin shook his head. “I almost don’t want to hear it. I have a bad feeling your history isn’t from when you were the Head of State.”
“No, I met him long before that.”
Colin’s gaze remained locked on the ground, unresponsive.
“I met him shortly after you left.”
Colin choked as tears started to flow down his cheeks, yet he remained silent.
“He was a good friend to me while I was living in the State House, grieving your loss.”
He clenched his jaw as he smacked his head against the wall. He gripped his thick hair as he spoke in a rush, “I don’t know what’s worse. The fact you two have history, or the fact I kind of get it. You were busy acting like a poster child, doing poster child things, and somehow met some military douchebag and you had all this poster people stuff in common. And, Chastity told me the State tried to make you a spy against my parents. I’m sure that, plus living at the State House, gave you a lot of exposure to the military.”
She nearly gagged while trying to swallow the dry air in her throat. “Once the State convinced me you left me for Ida, they took advantage of my anger. They tricked me into becoming a spy. We lived together like a couple for almost a year.”
Colin’s hand clamped over his mouth. “A year.” He rocked back and forth while waiting for more information.
“And we reunited for a time right before I became the Head of State.”
“So,” Colin choked. “You were with Lewis longer than you’ve been with me.”
It was horrifying. She hadn’t realized it before, but it was true. “Yes. A little bit longer.”
Colin gasped for a breath before he quickly said, “Do you still love him?”
She hesitated. She had loved him, but did it really count when their entire relationship was a lie? “I grew attached to him. But I never loved him the way I love you.”
Colin gripped his thumb and forefinger over his eyelids and rubbed. His breathing was erratic. It was painful just to see him like this, let alone to be the one causing his agony.
“If I still thought he was dead, I may answer differently. I may say something about his memory, or that we went through a lot together. But now, I can honestly say that I don’t love him. I find him and what he is repulsive.”
Still attempting to contain his rage, Colin bit down on his knuckles before responding, “Why him?” He choked. “Out of everyone under the dome…”
With his one simple question, she felt lightheaded even though she was sitting.
“I mean,” his breath rasped, “the first time I came back I knew you could have found someone else. But why did it have to be him?”
“Because it’s what the State wanted me to do. I was nothing more than a pawn. I thought Lewis loved me. I thought he helped me become the Head of State. But seeing him here—alive—and the Head of State, I now know that I was just another mission to him. He acted surprised when I told him my former partner had left for the colony. Just another one of his lies.”
Colin lost the composure he was desperately clinging to. Tears freely flowed down his cheeks. “I’m certain he knew. Only moments before I stepped onto the spacecraft, James made me a deal. If I behaved on camera while boarding the spacecraft, he would send you on the next ship.” His voice raised in pitch. “He neglected to tell me about the 22 year age difference we’d have when I got there. I thought I was going somewhere on Earth. And Lewis heard it all as my guard, including your name. He definitely knew.”
Her stomach was a sea of acid. She knew this was more than most couples could endure. She wedged her hands between her legs to control her shaking.
“I understand why you don’t want to hear about it, and I’m so sorry about what he did to you. But the fact is, you have to hear it. If we’re going to take part in the interrogation, you need to know what happened while you were gone.”
He nodded but kept his gaze cast to the side. He wouldn’t look at her, and she wondered if he ever would again.
“As I said, we lived together as spies. That’s when I met your parents as they were our assignment. The State sent us to uncover their involvement in the rebellion which led to their arrest.” She gulped. “And Lewis was the one who tortured and killed them.”
Chapter 23
Freya
His eyes were vacant. She had expected him to yell, to curse, to kick the wall, yet his silence was worse.
I broke him.
“Colin?”
His head slowly swayed back and forth, yet his gaze remained fixed.
She tried again. “Colin.”
He continued to sway until he abruptly jumped to his feet. “I have to get out of here.”
Still in his trance, he darted out of the room. Part of her wanted to follow him, but she also knew that no matter where he went, he didn’t want her there. It hurt. It stung. But she knew if she didn’t give him the space he needed, she would only make things worse.
She wanted nothing more than to curl up in their old bed and never leave. If there weren’t so many people counting on her, she would. With a few calming breaths, she mustered the courage to stand. Her shaking legs slowly carried her to the living room where she stood directly in front of the camera, hoping Aakil was watching.
“Aakil, can you hear me?” She waited a few moments. “Aakil. I need to talk to you.”
She closed her eyes. The only thing that kept her together was hope that Aakil could help her. If she not only lost Colin, but lost her way, she would end up in a heap on the floor.
I can make it to the State House from here.
It was a feeble attempt to calm herself, but that thought was all that kept her on her feet.
“Yeah. I’m here. It just takes me time to redirect everything.”
A heavy sigh escaped her lips. “Is Gwen still at the State House?”
“Yeah. She’s still in the office. The Head of State is tied to his chair and looks pretty rough, but still alive.”
“Good. Can Gwen leave? Does she have others with her?”
“Maybe. Where do you need her?”
“Please lead her to the atrium. I’ll meet her there. After we talk, direct her to wherever Colin is…”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Aakil said, a little too quickly. “I don’t know exactly what went down, but I know that look he was wearing. We should leave him alone. Besides, if anyone talks to him, it should be me.”
Freya pursed her lips. “It’s not that you’re wrong, but with him off wherever he is, you’re the only other person who can work the Security system. We need you to direct everyone to where they need to be. And Colin might want privacy, but I don’t want him to be alone right now.” Her eyes flushed with moisture. “And I’m not the person he needs right now. Gwen can just watch him and be there if he needs help.”
Aakil’s sigh sounded through the speaker. “Okay. Where are you going?”
“The State House. I could use some time to myself to get my thoughts together.”
“Got it.”
She hesitated momentarily, uncertain of how to end a conversation with someone she couldn’t see. But she took a deep breath and shook off the awkwardness. If Aakil needed further information, he could patch into the State House.
Her mind was blank as she walked. There was nothing left inside of her to feel. She simply made her way to the atrium until she found Gwen where Freya explained the situation regarding Colin. After their brief exchange, she continued on her path.
The familiar gloomy halls seemed to move around her. Before she knew it, she stepped in
side the large living space. The bright light shining through the glass wall shocked her system in contrast to the dismal walkway.
“Hey, Freya,” one of Gwen’s guards said as she popped her head into the living space. “You come to interrogate him?”
Her stomach churned at the thought. “Not yet. I need to prepare first.”
Freya walked past her, careful to avoid seeing inside the office. She wasn’t ready to deal with Lewis. It was one thing to process he was still alive and loyal to the State, but learning what he did to Colin was despicable.
Delivered: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The State Series Book 7) Page 16