by Aurelia Fray
He likes what he sees.
The hand at my clit slides up my abdomen and slips under my breast. He palms then grips firmly. His other hand, which has been clutching the back of my neck, glides down to grip the other breast. He slams into me. His heavy sac strikes repeatedly against my clit. His pelvis crashes against my ass. I am moaning and yowling like that fucking tiger from the other day.
"Put your weight into your arms, baby. Push back against me."
I do as he asks and I am rewarded with the glance of his teeth across my back. That sets me off. I am fucking coming all over him and he doesn’t even slow down. In fact, he speeds up and gives me what he promised me. My legs and arms have turned to mush and I stumble against the wall. My whole body is pinned up by Xadian. He pumps hard, in strong upward motions, and every single thrust hits some magic place inside until I feel ready to come again.
He notices this time.
He sees the tremors take over my body as I buck and twist. He spins us around so that his back is to the wall, but slings one arm over my stomach to hold me up, whilst the other grips my throat firmly, yet gently, keeping our faces pressed together—side to side. I feel my eyes swim backwards. My mouth opens forming a silent O. My breath stop-starts and stutters. "Feel me, baby," he says as he thrusts once more and comes hard. We are both jerking, shaking, sweating. We collapse across the desk. He remains inside me for a few more, intimate, seconds and then carefully rolls away so that he is sitting on the chair at my back. I try to stand up, knowing he has a crude view of my pussy and the sticky-sweet evidence of our cheeky fuck.
"Your pussy looks pretty dripping with my cum,” he says contentedly as if he had heard my thoughts. “I could sit here and stare at that all day, but I don't think your legs will hold out. Wait here for me." Xadian exits quickly and I, rather sullenly, grab for the clothes strewn haphazardly around me. I know that what happened was inevitable. The guy turns me on more than anyone I have ever met. The problem now, is seeing whether or not we can maintain a professional distance for the remainder of the project. The last thing I need is some stranger—even if he is a seriously hot fuck—thinking he can get away with murder because he has screwed me.
The door opens and I spin with the clothes in my hand. I hold them in front of me to protect my nakedness, but it’s just Xadian. He looks pointedly at the clothes and quirks a solo brow at me. I drop them and face him boldly.
"Here you go," he reaches out for my hand. I stare at his open palm for a second, not sure whether or not to take it.
"Don't leave me cold, baby. I have something for you." Tentatively, I place my hand in his and permit him to sweep me across the space separating us. I am in his arms, then hoisted up so that my legs wrap around his waist. He moves like a dancer, sinuous and elegant, but he looks like a fallen angel—dark and delicious. A cold, damp swipe at my pussy tells me he has cleaned the evidence of our fucking away. He is the first lover to be considerate of me. Usually they roll over and pass out, or I tell them to get dressed and fuck off. The gesture is somehow too intimate—too considerate.
"Gee. Listen…"
His words are slow and deliberate and I know what he is going to say. I have heard it before—shit, I have said the lines so many times myself that I know them backwards. I attempt to cut him off, raising my finger to his lips and plastering on a fake okay baby, that meant nothing to me either look on my face. I even manage the twinkle in my eye that tells him I loved it, but no strings. What I do not expect is for Xade's brows to furrow in annoyance.
"Now, hang on—"
"There's no need," I retort sharply. Pulling myself out of his grasp and sitting on the desktop. I fold my arms across my chest. He grimaces at both the literal and metaphorical distance I have created between us.
"I made you a promise, Gee. I always keep my word. There will be more, a lot more. I am going to show you what you've been missing," he insists, but I am not buying it.
"We both know that this was just—"
"Say another word and I swear I will put you over my knee!" Xade growls at me. He spreads his legs apart and braces himself to tackle me. The way he rounds his shoulders and flexes his fingers has me believing him. The fact that he means it gives me a delicious thrill. I almost open my mouth to provoke a spanking but he stoppers any words I might have said, with his thick tongue. He licks at the inside of my mouth and then pulls away with a satisfied grin.
"Just listen, okay?" I nod slowly, knowing that opening my mouth to speak will just be another invitation to kiss me.
"I have something to tell you that I think would be safer to say now before we go any further." The seriousness of his expression, combined with the dark choice of wording, twists within my gut, whatever he is going to say will be unpleasant.
I scoot to the edge of the desk, planting my feet firmly on the floor as if that might somehow help me to handle whatever he is about to confess. His hand reaches for my neck. My mind flashes hot images of him gripping me there whilst he hammered into me. I want him again. As stupid as it sounds I know it’s true. I want more, just like he promised. If he told me to climb on the desk and spread wide, I would do it before he could finish speaking the words.
I have to take this seriously. The renewed sexual tension is clouding my thoughts. His wry smile turns to a frown and he watches my tormented expressions. He reads me wrong. He mistakes my resolve for aversion and barks angrily at me.
“You, Regina Mallory, are something fucking else,” he proclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. His use of my full name is like a bucket of ice-cold water, dousing whatever lusty flame flickered in my groin.
"What did you just call me?" I snap.
Awareness is a slow bitch. She flashes like a bright light in your mind, alerting you to the momentousness of discovery. However, that same flash blinds you—causes you to stumble—delays your reaction until the facts flood in and form a complete picture of truth in your mind. It takes too long for me to see that my instincts about Xade were correct, but by mentioning my name—the name that no one, save my family, knew—my awareness flashed.
"Now hold on Gee. Just hear me out."
"How the hell do you know my real name? Who the fuck are you? What do you want?" I drag my jeans roughly over my tender skin, yanking them up and fastening them while I shout at him. I reach for my vests, ignoring my underwear, and pull them over my head when he responds. He stutters out something that I miss because the fabric damn near tears my ears off.
"What was that?"
"You don’t even recognise me do you?" He mocks but can’t disguise his disappointment.
"You're familiar. I obviously know you from somewhere but right now I’m only concerned with how you fucking know me. My own God-fearing mother wouldn't recognise me if I walked up and smacked her across the face with my birth certificate."
"You might have lost some weight and dyed your hair, Gee but I would recognise you anywhere. I’m a little hurt you can’t say the same."
"I never knew anyone named Xadian."
"Sure, and Gigi Shade is your real name I take it?"
So Xadian was a stage name? I guess it had to be. But who was he? There was only one guy who paid me any attention back then: Dean Kincaid. He was the one person I had crushed on like a loser—the one guy as screwed up as me—but even he didn’t think I was good enough for him. I seriously doubted he would make such an effort to find me. He would have forgotten me the moment I skipped town. It couldn’t be Dean. Yeah, the almond shaped eyes were his and that thick lower lip, that could be his. Shit!
"The last thing I said to you was "Look in the mirror, Regina. See what I see when I look at you," he whispers, his mouth pulls tight. He is pained.
"Dean?" Xade nods.
"I told you to ask yourself if that was enough for you. If you were happy to be what everyone else expected you to be for the rest of your life. The next day you were gone," he adds confirming that he is that same boy.
I ache hearing him repe
at those words. They were the last straw for me. I had rummaged up the courage to confront him that day. We were at school, in the parking lot just before my mother showed up in, what the other kids called, her ‘Jesus wagon’. I dragged my feet over to the low wall where he always sat with his friends and called out his name with a trembling voice.
“What the hell do you want God-Girl?” One of his crew sneered but he ignored it and followed me a few feet away.
“I know, I know you hate me,” I began, “and I’m not sure what I have done to deserve that, but I would really like it if you could lay off me. Things are really difficult and I…Why Dean? Why don’t you like me?” I stumbled. The verbal diarrhea embarrassed us both. We were as red-faced as each other. I remember a split second where his glare softened before he put his great verbal boot in my gut.
“Wake the fuck up, Regina! You need to deal with the fact that I don’t want you, God-Girl.” He raised his voice and turned slightly to make sure his friends were watching. They were. “I know how your pretty white panties get wet every time you look at me, but honestly, Regina, dipping my cock in you would be like splashing it around in the church font. Perhaps you should follow in your mother’s footsteps and dedicate yourself to God? At least you know he wants you.” I heard the others laughing, hissing and jeering behind him. He heard it too. He lowered his voice and his cold eyes softened again.
“Look in the mirror, Regina. See what I see when I look at you. Ask yourself if that is enough. Are you so happy to be who everyone else expects you to be? Can you carry on like this forever? Really look, Regina, and maybe you will see that this isn’t who you really are.” He turned on his thick biker-boot heel and stormed back to the crowd. I saw him glance at me and shake his head one last time before my life imploded. I was gone by the next morning and until now, I hadn’t looked back.
"Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!"
"I take it that it wasn't enough?"
"Stuck in a dead end town? Living a dead end life? No fucking way! I was nobody and nothing there and you, Dean, you made me feel like less than nothing!" He frowns at the reminder. I do too because I hadn't meant to sound so hurt when I said it.
"Screw that. It is done. Over with. I’m a different person now. Look, Xade, Dean, whatever you call yourself now. I don't understand why you are here, or more pertinently, why you sought me out for a sweet little fuck, but now that it’s done I really would like you to fuck-the-hell-off and forget you know me. If you dare to tell anyone about who I was or where I came from, I promise you I will have someone hunt you down, rip your cock off and shove it up your ass. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to phone Snowflake and tell him he got the director’s job."
"You're firing me?"
"Were you really here for the job?"
"I… No."
"Didn't think so."
"Gee, baby, wait. I meant what I said before. I made a promise. I handled this all wrong, I know that. I mean, I never intended to fuck you today—"
"Really. That is a shame. That was the best part of our reunion."
"Fuck it woman! Will you just hear me out? I am not the dick I was back then. I wasn’t even really being that big of a dick. Well I was, but it was for all the right reasons. I just did it in the wrong way. Shit I am not making this any better. Just let me explain properly. Please.”
"I don’t need to hear it. Like I said, it is a long time gone. Water under the bridge. Blah blah blah."
"Gee!" he shouts in exasperation.
"Get out!" I scream back. I do not want to know. I do not need his pity or his apology or whatever karma-placating action he is making here. I simply want him gone so I can stop feeling like I have just been victim to another of his humiliations. Would he go home and tell everyone that he screwed little Regina—little God-Girl—the town joke? Would they laugh with him and crow about how far the mighty had fallen? Well fuck them.
"What the fuck is going on in here?"
Jenny’s screeching voice rebounds around the room. We both turn to face her with wide-eyed guilty expressions. From our mutual undressed state, I can imagine what her reaction will be. Jenny, however, manages to surprise me and instead of railing at me for ruining another video before it got started, she jumps to my defence.
"What the hell did you do to her?" she yells at Xade. I try to calm her down but she positions herself between us like a body shield.
"Jen, it is okay. We messed around but that’s not a big deal."
"Not a big deal? You are fucking crying, Gee. You never cry. So this motherfucker is either a dead man walking or he can perform miracles, and Gee, he doesn’t look like the son of God to me."
My fingers trace my eyes and—holy shit—I am crying.
"I’m sorry Gee," Xade whispers. "I didn't mean to stir things up. I just wanted to see you again. I’ve thought of nothing else since the day you didn't show up for school."
"Please," I beg not bothering to hide the tears now. It’s all too late for that. "Please, just stop. I need you to go."
"You heard her!"
"Okay, I will go but use the footage. It will be good. You saw my vision. You liked the concept. Let me give you that. Consider it an apology." He was begging. He leans forward reaching out for me, but Jen slaps his hand away.
"Okay," I manage to reply. I watch him turn on his heel and grab for the door. The action is a startling echo of the last time we parted. This time I feel even more distraught. The first time he left me broken, this time I am shattered. Before he exits, he leaves me with one last promise.
"I always keep my word, Gee."
His exit takes with him the last of my strength and I collapse to the floor. I can feel the years of being Gigi draining from me. She is like makeup that I never wash off. I just reapply a little more of her every day to pretend that I’m not the silly, lonely girl I once was. Yet here, in a pile of flesh and sweat upon the floor, I realise that I am still her. I always was her and I always would be.
"Gee?" Jen bumbles around beside me picking up my discarded underwear and handing it to me timidly.
"It is okay, Jen. I will be okay."
"Want me to cheer you up, Angelface?" she asks, stroking my cheek.
"Sure. What have you got for me?"
"Lusferatu are in town. I just spoke to Sam and she says that the band is using her place for rehearsals before their set this coming weekend. If we can get to them before they play in the bar, we might be able to sign them before Forrester and the other big labels can get to them."
"That's great news." It was. I just wished I could feel more enthusiastic about it, if only for Jen's sake.
"The film crews will be here in under an hour. What do we want to do?" she asks. I hate her practicality but we have too much riding on this to fuck it up. I need to get a hold of myself. I think about work for a minute and then click back into Gigi mode.
"Fire them. Keep the post-production people. We will not need any serious kit for what I have in mind. With any luck we will have the video by the end of the week."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, Xadian might not be the right person for the job, but he had some good ideas. We will use the footage he got today and work from there." Jen nods hesitantly. She doesn't believe me, but I don't care. I have had enough for today. I would focus on signing the new band and get this business moving in the right direction. No matter what feelings Dean’s, Xadian’s, appearance dragged up, one thing was certain: I was going to make my life worthwhile. I would make sure that every decision I'd made up to now counted for something. As for Xadian, he could shove his promises. If I never saw him again it would be too soon. Although, if that was true why did I hurt more for thinking it? Why did I miss the feel of his body pressed against mine and why was I praying that he was truly a man of his word?
"Gee, maybe we should just postpone the meeting? You can rest and make up your mind later."
I forced a smile to my face, forced Gigi to the forefront once again, forced Regina back into her hid
ing place, deep within me, and said something that I trusted sounded comforting. "Don't worry yourself, Jen. These things have a way of working themselves out."
I could only pray it was true because I doubted I could survive Xadian for a third time and there was no doubt in my mind that we would meet again. If my time living with my devoutly religious mother taught me anything it was that God had a mean sense of humour and I was ever the butt of the joke.
THE WHITE WOLF
By Kathryn M. Hearst
Once upon a time there were three princesses. All who beheld them said that they were beautiful. The king, who knew their temperaments well, understood that what is pleasing on the outside is not always pleasing on the inside. Though he loved each of the princesses, it was the youngest that he secretly cherished most of all.
On his way back to the castle from a visit to a distant land, the king chose gifts for his three daughters. For the eldest and most spoiled, he chose a necklace made of sapphires to match her deep blue eyes. For the middle princess and the cruelest, he commissioned a gown to be made of the finest golden thread, to match her glowing blonde hair. For his precious Ruby, the youngest, he sent a maid to the forest to collect only white flowers and weave them into a wreath for her hair.
The king waited impatiently by the side of the road for the maid to return, but hours passed and still the maid did not emerge from the forest. The king’s heart was heavy as the sun set in the distant sky. He climbed into his carriage and resumed his journey home, without a gift for the youngest princess.
While he was just a few miles from the castle, he saw a large white wolf sitting along the side of the road. Upon his head was a wreath of the most beautiful white flowers the king had ever seen. He called to his coachman to climb down and retrieve the wreath from the wolf.
When the wolf heard the order he laughed deep in his belly and said, “My Lord, I will gladly give you my wreath of the purest white, but I must have something in return.”