“What was the scandal?” Joss asked, treading softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He paused for a moment, his eyes soft as he stared out to the horizon. She was ready to withdraw the question when he finally spoke.
“It happened in December, just before New Year’s. We had a Christmas day game and then we were scheduled to be off until the first week of January. A few guys from the team decided to go to Vegas, to ring in the New Year,” he offered tightly, his voice cracking and pensive, as though his memories were painful. Joss reached a hand out and touched him lightly on his knee, encouraging him to offer only what he could. He seemed to understand and nodded at her before continuing.
“I’d just had the game of my career, scoring 68 points in a match against the Knicks. Only four players in NBA history have ever done that, Wilt Chamberlain, Kobe Bryant, Elgin Baylor, and my idol, Michael Jordan. I became the fifth. My adrenaline was pumping for days after that, and Vegas seemed the right place to ride out the high, so I went with them.”
Joss smiled at him. She didn’t watch basketball but she knew the game enough to know she should be impressed, and she was, but she didn’t want to interrupt his story.
“We partied for three days, playing high stakes poker, dancing in the clubs, hanging out in strip joints; just a group of buddies blowing off some steam. You have to understand, I’m not much of a drinker, and I never do drugs, but I admit, I was tipping back a few that weekend. Let’s just say, I wasn’t feeling any pain,” he paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts.
“So New Year’s Eve came and we had plans to go to a private party at an exclusive club. One of my teammates had met a girl the night before and invited her and a few of her friends to come party with us. They seemed like a fun bunch, the kind of girls a couple of young, red-blooded American guys look to party with on New Year’s, the kind that wear very little and dance real close, if you know what I mean?” he looked at her sheepishly, as though he wasn’t proud to admit it.
“I understand,” she nodded, without judgement.
“One of my buddies suggested we take the party to his suite, ring in the new year by ourselves. The ladies came along, quite eager from what I could tell. We ended up partying for a few more hours. One young woman in particular seemed very interested in getting to know me better. We were both drinking quite a bit, dancing, making out. It was kind of hot, so when she asked to go back to my room, I was down,” he cleared his throat, stalling, as though unsure how much to share with her.
“Go on, Willie. It’s okay,” Joss encouraged softly, pleased he trusted her enough to open up.
“I won’t go into the details except to say that we had a lot of fun together. It seemed very normal to me, nothing crazy, and definitely consensual. She stayed for a few hours and after we hooked up we took a shower together; then she left and I went to bed. The next morning I woke up and started packing, completely unaware that life was about to go off the rails.”
“What happened?”
“She went on twitter and suggested that she might have been assaulted the night before, by me. She even posted a picture of us dancing together. It was a photo one of her friends took at the club.”
“Oh,” Joss whispered, trying to mask her surprise.
“Yes. You can imagine things became a total shit show after that. She eventually pressed charges against me, but not until several weeks later. Maybe she got caught up in the frenzy and all the attention, and it confused her, I don’t know. Social media ripped me apart. The story went viral, and the rag magazines and TMZ ate it up. I had paparazzi tracking my every move, and even had death threats. My Laker brothers stood behind me, but I became withdrawn and quiet, as you can imagine. Deeply depressed.”
She could understand it. She was all too familiar with the seduction of depression, that deep pull that holds you under, making you feel safe yet vulnerable at the same time.
“I wasn’t suspended by the league, but I didn’t see much court time either. Then I was taken in for questioning. I was scared shitless, Joss. I felt like the whole fucking world had gone crazy. I knew I was innocent, but I was starting to question my own reality. I was terrified that the court of public opinion had already decided I was a rapist and I would never get my life back, even if I proved my innocence. At that point it was a ‘he said, she said’ kind of deal, and it was looking pretty bleak.”
Joss placed a hand on his knee, to offer him a little comfort. She knew what it was like having the world suddenly flip on its axis. “What happened?”
He looked down at his knee and gently placed his hand over hers before continuing.
“One of her friends came forward, a young woman that had also been partying with us that night. She told the investigators that her friend, my accuser, was not telling the truth,” he sighed.
“And?”
“She shared a text message that was sent to her the morning after the New Year’s party, in which my accuser said she had a great night with me and bragged about the experience in great detail. I’m guessing it didn’t sound like assault.”
“Whoa!” Joss raised her brows, surprised and relieved by how the story was unfolding.
“Yeah. Thank God she had proof, otherwise my ass would be behind bars right now. I guess for weeks the young woman had been too afraid to come forward and reveal what she knew, for fear of getting her friend in trouble. She finally blew the whistle when she found out that my accuser was going to try to settle out of court for a large sum of money. I guess integrity trumped loyalty, in this case.”
“Wow, you really dodged a bullet. What happened to the girl?”
“She went on social media and made a public apology, which was good. Unfortunately I’m still feeling the backlash. Despite the exoneration, my reputation was tarnished. People, to this day, still post shit about me on social media. I’m not gonna lie, it hurts.”
“I bet it does,” Joss whispered, tenderly taking his hand into her own. “You said you’ve been doing some soul searching, what have you uncovered in that process?”
“Good question,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I guess for a long time I kept looking outwards, trying to figure out why this happened. Like I said, blaming everything and everyone else. The truth is, I’d been acting like a hot shot, strutting around like I was somehow untouchable, that I was beyond reproach. If I’m keeping it real, I was acting pretty vain, especially after that epic night on the court. I was a fucking god. I realize now there was a lesson in all of it.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m responsible for the choices I make, good or bad, and whatever happens as a result of those choices I have to be willing to own,” he asserted. “I’m just a guy that happens to be good at basketball, and I get paid obscenely well for it. Is that right or wrong, who’s to say, but it sure doesn’t make me better than anyone else. What about the guy who works 60-70 hours a week teaching kids, the future of our country, making fifty grand a year, or a nurse, slugging it out 12 hours a day, healing the sick. Am I better than them? Hell no. I just dribble a ball 94 feet and put it in a hoop and for that I’m celebrated. It’s fucked up.”
“Willie, I’m guessing you worked really hard to get to the NBA. You shouldn’t diminish your success,” Joss noted sincerely.
“I get that, but let’s face it, I spent years pushing my body, building my strength and perfecting the game, but at the end of the day, it’s just a game, Joss,” he quietly protested, a pained expression contorting his handsome face. Joss could see him struggling, wishing she could ease his pain.
“I guess I’m just trying to say that I see it now. My Nana raised me to work hard and have integrity. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that. I developed this strong sense of entitlement and it was wrong. I’m no more entitled than anyone else, no better than anyone else, so why was I acting that way?”
“Money seems to pay for entitlement...” Joss agreed quietly.
“It does, but it shouldn’t
. What if wealth was decided by how many people you’ve helped, or how decently and kind you act? What if that kindness determined your status?”
Nodding, Joss gazed at him and smiled, her green eyes softening with respect for him. In that moment he invited her to see his soul, and it was beautiful.
“You’ve been processing a lot, haven’t you,” she asked, placing an arm around him to pull him closer, in a pure gesture of friendship. He allowed himself to be embraced for a moment before pulling away.
“I just want to be a better man, Joss,” he concluded. Although she wasn’t sure how he could be, she reached a hand up and gently stroked his cheek, nodding in understanding. He was already pretty fucking awesome.
“You don’t have far to go,” she promised.
He smiled warmly at her, his eyes begging for a kiss. She wanted to kiss him. The moment screamed for it, but before she could lean in, they heard their names being shouted from behind.
“Do you guys want some dinner?” Ryan asked, slowly jogging toward them. Joss sat forward, picking her journal up from the sand.
Willie cleared his throat and chuckled, as though he couldn’t believe Ryan’s timing. “Yeah man, that sounds good. We’ll be right there,” he shouted, waving him off. Ryan stopped in his tracks and nodded, then spun around with a grin, heading back up the slope. Willie was grateful for a few more minutes of alone time.
Joss rose off the ground, then bent over to pick up the mat she’d woven together with palm fronds. It served as both a yoga and a beach mat.
“Here, let me carry that for you,” Wille offered, taking the mat from her, rolling it up.
“Thanks,” she sighed, shaking off the moment. She smiled and turned away, walking toward their camp.
“Joss?” he called out, gently urging her back. She turned around, a curious expression on her face.
“Will you go out with me?” he blurted awkwardly.
She raised her brows and giggled, unsure what he meant. “Out with you?” she questioned.
He chuckled warmly, shaking off his embarrassment. “Let me take you on a date.”
“A date? Here, on the island?” she asked curiously, intrigued by his proposal.
“Sure, leave that to me! Just say yes?” he asked, his own brows raising in a question.
“Okay. Sure!” she agreed, wondering what he would come up with. Either way, she welcomed more time with him.
“Great. Tomorrow? Same time?”
She raised herself up on her tiptoes to offer him a peck on the cheek, but failed. He was much too tall and she almost tumbled over. He quickly wrapped his free arm around her, and leaned over to kiss her, his soft lips moistening her cheek. She appreciated the innocence of it, surprised by how much the tenderness moved her.
“Come on, let’s eat. Confession makes me hungry,” Willie teased, gesturing her to lead the way.
Chapter 15
“So, I’ve been thinking we need to try to make it to the north side of the island,” Captain Grant proposed, settling himself beside Charles. They were all together, finishing up their morning meal, preparing to tackle their tasks for the day.
“Why is that, Grant?” Charles asked curiously, taking a mouthful of the breadfruit and mango “porridge” that Joss had prepared for breakfast. It had a starchy consistency, much like over-mashed potatoes, but fortunately tasted much better. She was getting quite good at preparing creative meals out of the foraged food she found. She considered it quite the score when they’d found a patch of breadfruit trees on one of their walks. He had never eaten it before, but the fruit had proven quite versatile. Even the seeds made a good snack when roasted.
“I’m wondering if there’s a trade route on the north side, maybe that’s why we haven’t seen any freighters,” Grant surmised.
Joss looked up from the bird trap she was constructing, tuning into their conversation. She had been wondering that herself, but had yet to pass more than a few miles in any direction from their camp. She had traversed some rough terrain on her various hikes, and on each occasion her path had been blocked by massive rock formations or swampy jungle, and she had to adjust course or turn back. She was optimistic that she would eventually find a way, but to present, it had not shown itself.
“Joss, what are your thoughts?” Charles asked, knowing that she’d probably have a better understanding of the island, given that she’d been the one mapping it. He saw Grant look up, noting his flat expression. Charles still didn’t quite understand what the captain’s issues were, but for some reason the man seemed indifferent to Joss, even a little cold. It made no sense to him. She’d been nothing but kind, to all of them, including Grant, in spite of his cool demeanor.
“I think it’s a good idea, Captain,” she agreed, smiling cautiously at him. “I’m just not sure yet how we’re going to navigate our way across.”
“I’m sure there’s a way,” Grant dismissed, breaking eye contact with her. Joss looked at Charles and shrugged, drawing in a subtle, frustrated breath. He didn’t blame her, but he also didn’t want to take sides or interfere. He had the utmost confidence that Joss was capable of taking care of herself and the last thing he wanted to do was insult her by fighting her battles. Charles offered her a discreet wink, which she returned with a smile that said ‘I’m okay’. They understood each other.
“You’re welcome to join me next time I go out, Captain. I’m happy to be proven wrong, if it means the difference between rescue or not,” Joss reasoned, her indifferent tone still managing to be polite.
“What if we go around the island?” Daniel chimed in, so quietly they almost didn’t hear him.
“That would be a hell of a trek,” Ryan shrugged, tossing a twig into the fire. He had hiked with Joss on several occasions and remembered how rugged the land was. He couldn’t imagine what type of terrain they would run into.
Joss stared at Daniel, processing his suggestion, then smiled broadly as she realized he might be on to something.
Daniel nodded and chuckled softly, “It would be a helluva walk, impossible really given the cliffs, but I could build us a raft?”
“Yes! That might work.” Joss agreed, her enthusiasm building. She had seen Daniel’s handy work and felt confident he could build something sturdy enough to carry them around the island. The others could help him.
“That’s all well and good, mate,” Grant insisted, tossing Joss a cynical look, “and I hate to throw shade on your plan, but you’ll have to get past the break or the swells will smash that raft right into the rocks. It could crush whoever’s on board.”
“True,” Joss pressed, “but it might be the only way. We know we are on the south side of the island, right? Two miles inland to the north-west is the waterfall, but we know we can’t safely go further on land because it’s too mountainous. That rough terrain takes up a large portion to the east as well. Essentially we are locked in at the 2 mile mark no matter which direction we travel north, and hiking around the coast won’t work because of the cliffs to the west and the mangrove to the east. The only way around is by water.”
“We don’t know how many miles we’re dealing with though,” Grant interrupted, “it could take weeks to travel around the island by water, and what if there’s no safe place to pull up to shore?”
“It does seem dangerous,” Charles agreed, suddenly anxious that Joss might actually attempt it.
“It could be,” Joss agreed, “but what’s the alternative? What if the captain is right? We could be passively sitting here while cargo ships are passing us by.”
“We could stay together, where we know we are safe, and wait,” Charles maintained, always the realist. The truth was, he wasn’t confident he could handle a journey like that, not with his health the way it was. Sure, he’d been holding his own, feeling good actually, but could he risk pushing himself like that? He wasn’t sure.
Joss regarded him warmly for a moment, as though she understood his concerns. No one spoke for several minutes, considering t
he options. Finally, Daniel broke the silence.
“I’m going to build a raft anyway, regardless of what decision we make. It will take a few days and in the meantime, we can continue to brainstorm. If nothing else, we can use it to fish a little further out or even do a little more exploring, right?”
They all nodded, none wanting to discourage him, but each thinking about rescue. It was always on their minds, but it was painful to think about home, their lives, and the people who were missing them. As the weeks passed, it was just easier to put that out of their minds and focus on their lives on the island. To do otherwise was torture.
“Well, then,” Daniel said, standing up, “I’m going to start collecting materials. Anyone want to help?” Joss could tell he was choking back his emotion, and keeping busy was the best way he coped. They were a lot alike.
“I’ll help,” Ryan offered. “Grant? Are you going to tinker on the plane or do you want to work with us?”
Grant looked up and nodded. He seemed pleased to be asked but grumbled his reply anyway, “Sure, I reckon I can spare some time.”
Ryan looked at Willie, “how about it man, you in?”
Willie, who’d been quietly listening to the entire exchange, shook his head. “No, brother, I think I’m gonna do some crabbing.”
“Okay, but if you get done early, feel free to join us.”
“Sure, man,” Willie replied, returning the fist bump Ryan offered him. Joss noted the exchange and smiled. She knew that she’d never be admitted to the brotherhood, but part of her wished the guys would treat her with the same light affection they reserved for one another. It was endearing.
“I’ll go out and set this trap and replenish some of our reserves,” she offered to no one in particular, gathering her things.
“I’ll go with you,” Charles offered, pleased they’d have some time to themselves.
Joss shook her head, “no, that’s okay Charlie. I think I’ll go alone. I’m not going far today.”
She hoped he wouldn’t take offense, but she knew what would happen if they went off alone together and she didn’t want the temptation. She was going on a date with Willie later that day and felt it would somehow be disrespectful to him. To both men, actually. There had to be some boundaries.
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