He had got it all wrong, he thought, as he ran his hand through his mane of dark blond hair, almost consumed by despair. He had thought her feelings for him had changed. He had thought she had come to love him as much as he had come to love her. There had been something in her expression the night before, when together they had overcome Mr Willingham, that had made his heart soar. But it had been nothing, he saw that now. Nothing but his own wishful thinking, ascribing to her feelings she did not possess.
“Joshua!”
Louisa's voice roused him from his reverie.
“Why, what is it?” she asked in horror as he turned to look at her. “You look terrible. Is something wrong at the mill?”
Catching sight of himself in a looking-glass he realized at once why Louisa was concerned. His eyes were wild, and there was a look of utter desolation on his face.
He made an effort to restore his features to normal. With limited success. “It is nothing,” he said. “Just a small problem that has cropped up.” Which, whilst not truthful, at least reassured Louisa and removed the worried look from her face.
“You work too hard,” she said. “But at least you can enjoy yourself this evening. Rebecca will be back before long — she has just gone to see to the refreshments.”
Joshua made a polite rejoinder and to his relief Louisa moved on to her other guests. He did not feel equal to her well-meant conversation about Rebecca tonight.
But there was one thing he did feel equal to. It was obvious Miss Quentin had been spreading rumours about a supposed betrothal, and he meant to put a stop to them before they did any more harm.
It did not take him long to find her. She was preening herself before one of the gilded mirrors in the dining-room, where the supper had been laid out. Fortunately, as it was too early for supper, no one else was in the room.
“Mr Kelling,” she said, startled, turning round as he opened the door. Her right hand closed guiltily over her left hand, as she tried to surreptitiously slip the signet ring from her finger.
But the movement, surreptitious though it was, drew his attention, and he caught sight of a telltale gleam of gold.
“My ring,” he said grimly.
The reason for its disappearance was now obvious. He had not lost it, as he had suspected. Miss Quentin had taken it.
“I... was going to give it back to you,” she said, trying to speak boldly but betraying her anxiety by a wobble in her voice.
“I found it,” she went on hurriedly, “on the floor, after you'd taken Mr Willingham out to his carriage last night.”
“And you did not think to return it to me?” asked Joshua menacingly.
“I... I was going to, but —”
“But you thought you would use it to convince people that we were betrothed instead,” he said ruthlessly.
“I never —”
“Good,” said Joshua, cutting across her protestation of innocence. “Because if such a rumour were to get out, it would inevitably leave you looking ridiculous when no marriage was forthcoming. And no,” he said, seeing the direction her thoughts were taking, “I wouldn't spring to your assistance by making you a genuine offer in order to protect your reputation. If you were thinking anything of the sort then you're a bloody little fool.”
Miss Quentin, who looked as though she had been about to speak, was silenced. Once look at Joshua's implacable face told her that he would never allow himself to be manipulated, as she had supposed.
“And now I suggest you give the ring to me and then return to the other guests,” said Joshua. “I have a mind for peace and quiet, and I have a mind to find it here.”
Miss Quentin's eyes hardened, and she looked as though she might protest, but a savage look from Joshua changed her mind and she handed over the ring. Then, accepting her dismissal, she retained just enough spirit to exit with her head held high.
So that is why Becky thought I was engaged, thought Joshua, turning the ring in his hands before putting it back on his little finger.
If she had been dismayed at the idea he would have gone to her there and then, and told her that it was not true. But far from being dismayed she had been delighted. She had congratulated him with a warm smile on her face.
He threw himself down into a chair. It was over, he thought bitterly. All chance of the betrothal he had longed for had been smashed by Rebecca's warm smile and even warmer words. His hopes and dreams had been shattered in an instant. He let out a low groan. If he had heard of her betrothal it would have ripped the heart out of his body.
But on hearing of his betrothal, she had been delighted.
* * *
Rebecca appeared to be happy and at ease as she bid her guests goodnight. But she was heartsore. She longed for the release of retiring to her room, where she could give way to the emotions that were churning inside her. All through the evening she had hidden them, but the strain had been enormous and she felt that if the last guests did not soon leave her smile would crack and her true feelings be revealed.
She had just bid Mr and Mrs Braithwaite goodnight, when a sudden change in the air made her look up and her heart missed a beat. There was Joshua, taking his leave of Louisa. In a moment he would come to her and she must be ready to utter a few polite words, thanking him for attending the party and hoping he had had a pleasant time.
She took a deep breath in order to steady her rapidly beating pulse and prepared herself to do so. It would be the last ordeal of the evening, she consoled herself. Once it was over, she had only to say goodnight to the few remaining guests and then she could retire to her room, where her turbulent emotions could be given free rein.
“Rebecca,” he said formally, bowing over her hand.
“Joshu —”
She broke off. A gleam of gold on his finger had caught her eye as he raised her hand to his lips.
“Your ring!” she exclaimed. She turned astonished eyes up to his.
“I have reclaimed it,” he said with a twist of the mouth. “I am sorry to disappoint you, Rebecca, but Miss Quentin and I are not betrothed.”
“Not... not betrothed?”
She could not help it. A tide of relief washed over her face, revealing her true feelings.
“You're not disappointed?” he asked, a look of hope appearing on his face.
“No,” she whispered.
“We cannot talk here.” He drew her aside, taking her through into the drawing-room and closing the door behind them. Then, pulling her to him, he took her hands between his own and stroked her fingers in the most heart-wrenching way.
“Why not?” he asked, looking down at her as though he longed to devour every inch of her.
“Because...” She gulped.
“Yes, Becky?”
“Because...” She took a deep breath. It was the moment of truth. She turned her face up to his. “Because I'm in love with you.”
“Oh, Becky,” he groaned, then pulling her to him he pressed his lips to her own.
“Rebecca,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes when at last he let her go, “I have asked you twice before to marry me and you refused me, but everything has changed since then. This time I am not only offering you my hand, I am offering you my heart as well. I am in love with you.”
“I know.” She went willingly into his arms. “And this time... ”
“Yes, Rebecca?” he asked, looking down at her with a mixture of love and longing in his tawny eyes.
“This time,” she whispered, “I accept.”
* * *
“There's still one thing I don't understand,” said Rebecca, when Joshua finally loosed her from his embrace. “How did Serena come by your ring?”
“As to that, it is easily answered. Mr Willingham dislodged it when he struggled to get away — he came round just as Odgers and I were half-carrying, half-dragging him through the hall. I didn't notice at the time, but Serena did. She picked it up —”
“ — and used it to make mischief,” finished Rebecca. It fit in
with what she knew of Serena only too well. She recalled how Serena had been showing off the ring to Lavinia Madeley when she had stumbled upon them, and guessed that some sort of wager had been involved. It would not have been the first time Serena and Lavinia had placed bets in such a manner, challenging each other to win various bachelors' attentions.
“But of course, her plan could never have worked,” said Joshua. “In fact, I don't believe she'd have even attempted it if she'd realized I was in love with you.”
“When did you know?” Rebecca asked.
“That I loved you?”
She nodded.
He pulled her onto the sofa beside him, and wrapped his arm lovingly around her waist.
“It's difficult to say for sure.”
“When Mr Willingham attacked you?”
“No. Long before that. I think I must have loved you when I asked you to marry me the first time, back in London, when we were at the Frost Fair.”
She turned to look at him in surprise. “But I thought you were offering me your hand because you had compromised me.”
He gave a wry smile. “So did I. But looking back, I think I must have already been half in love with you, even though I didn't know it. I don't believe I would have offered you my hand otherwise.”
“Not even to save my reputation?”
“Once it was in jeopardy, yes — I was very attached to Jebadiah, and I wouldn't have wanted to bring disgrace down on his granddaughter's head — but not before. Lacy might have seen us together at The Nag's Head but I knew he was a coward, and that he wouldn't talk. And as to the idea of someone else seeing us together, that was pure speculation. If someone had seen us together, and had been about to noise it abroad, then yes, I would have offered you my hand, but not until then. Not unless I'd known somewhere deep inside me that I wanted to make you my wife.”
Rebecca sighed. “I was very tempted to accept —”
“You were?” It was his turn to be surprised.
She nodded. “Yes. I couldn't think why. But now I know. It was because, underneath, I was already falling in love with you.”
“And yet I'm glad you didn't accept my hand then. I hadn't come to see you as my equal. It was only later, when we worked together on the problems facing the mill, that I came to do so.”
Rebecca laughed. “Grandfather warned me that you thought women were inferior.”
“And so I did. Until I met you. The way you stood up to me left me in no doubt that you were a force to be reckoned with. Even so, I resisted seeing you as an equal. But once you'd rescued me from the fire I could deny it no longer, because without your help I would have died.”
It was a sobering thought.
“Mr Willingham has been taken into custody?” asked Rebecca. She was curious, now that things had been resolved so happily between them, to know Mr Willingham's fate.
“Yes. He will be charged with his crimes, and Cyril Dunn will testify against him. Mr Willingham will not be troubling us again.”
Rebecca gave a shiver. “He came so close to killing you.”
Joshua held her tight. “But he didn't. It's over now, and the future is before us. And talking of the future,” he said, turning towards her, “I think we should be planning our wedding. When shall it be?”
“In the summer, I think,” said Rebecca.
The clock chimed the hour.
“Goodness. I had no idea how late it was. I had forgotten all about Louisa!” exclaimed Rebecca. She stood up. “She will be wondering where I am.”
Joshua stood up, too. “She has most probably guessed.”
“You're right. But we must go and find her anyway. I want to tell her the news.”
“She'll be delighted,” said Joshua. Adding, “And so will Mrs Camberwell.”
Rebecca looked at him in surprise.
“She has spent the last few weeks telling me what a wonderful wife you will make,” he laughed.
Rebecca smiled, then gave a contented sigh. “It's lovely to know that our betrothal will bring so much pleasure to so many people.”
“Not least to ourselves.” He took her into his arms and kissed her.
“If you don't stop kissing me like that, I will not be able to wait for a summer wedding,” she teased him as she at last emerged.
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. “A good thing too. Hang the gossips. If they want to remark on the speed of our wedding then let them — I have always thought spring weddings were the best.”
“Perhaps they are at that!”
Then arm in arm they went to find Louisa and tell her the happy news.
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Rebecca's Refusal Page 20