“You tell me. Friends or lovers?”
Erica opened her mouth, then closed it and shook her head. “It’s all too much to process right now.”
“I guess that leaves us right back where we started. With you needing space and distance,” he said. “All right.” He braced his hands on her hips and stepped away. “How ’bout we start over and forget the last few minutes happened?”
Erica glanced up at him. “Even that hard nibble you took down my neck?”
“Now who’s trying to distract whom with sex?”
She tilted her head and nodded. “Guilty as charged. But in my defense, it felt really, really, really good.”
“Mixed signals, Erica. What is it you really want?”
She looked everywhere but at him. Chances were she didn’t know the answer any more than he did.
“All right, sweetheart. It kills me, but…” He tilted her chin up on the crook of his finger and kissed her…long, slow, deep. Her fingers fisted his shirt as she clung to him. Somehow he found the strength to end the kiss and walk away. Now he had to find the strength to stay away.
“Mike, wait.”
He stopped shy of the doorway and turned. Sure steps brought her before him.
“There is an us. There’s always been an us.” She clasped her hands between her breasts. “And when you hold me, when you kiss me, when you fuck me… I can hardly breathe. I can hardly think. All I can do is feel, and it feels so damn good.”
His cock roared to life. Mike struggled against the need to pull her close, too afraid doing so would cause more harm than good. So he stared into her eyes and willed her to continue, because the longer she talked, the longer he was with her.
“Now here I am, at probably the lowest point in my life, and you’re ready to swoop in and save the day, to make everything all right. And it’d be so very, very easy to let you do that. But, Mike”—she placed her palm over his pounding heart—“Keith did a number on me.” She shook her head. “No, I let him do a number on me. He pushed, and I let him. I ignored my instincts and gave in. Right now, I’m second-guessing every decision that’s running through my head. Too much has happened. And you’re pushing just like he did, which would be fine if we were just friends. But we’re not. Last night is a bell we can never unring. And frankly, I don’t want to.”
That sounded like hope to him. Mike wrapped both hands around hers. “I’m sorry. I’m scared.”
“Me too. I know it’s your nature to fix things. But I don’t want you when I have no other choice. I need to know it’s real, that it’s my choice.”
“It’s always your choice, Erica. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
She cupped his cheek, brushed her thumb over his lips. “God knows I need you. More than I can say. But this has to be on my terms.”
As long as he got to be with her. “And those are?”
“I need my own space. I have to have my own money, take care of my own things and not someone else’s.” The words tumbled out. “I don’t want you living with me. No drawer. No stuff in my bathroom cabinets.”
“Not even one little toothbrush for sleepovers?” Mike dusted the backs of his fingers down her side.
Erica grabbed his wrist and held him in place. “First it’s a toothbrush, then it’s a razor, then a pair of underwear, an extra set of clothes in the closet, your favorite coffee. Next thing I know, we’re married with three kids and I’m at home worrying if your next fire call will be your last.”
“Relax, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her against him. “You’re getting way ahead of yourself here. It’s just me and you, enjoying some great sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Having fun. Going out. I’m not proposing, not taking over. I just want to be with you.”
Sighing, she sagged into his embrace. “Oh, Mike, we both know this is way beyond great sex.”
If she knew how far beyond, she’d be headed for the hills. “Be with me, sweetheart. It’s as simple as that. Nothing more, nothing less. No razor. No toothbrush. No drawer. Just me wanting you, and you wanting me back.” He leaned back. “But we still get to do sleepovers, right?”
“If you’re very, very good.”
There was the smile he loved so much. He hauled her hips right to his. “I’m told I am.”
“Too bad work calls.” She rubbed her belly over his erection.
Damn. He’d been pulled from the investigation, but Posner and Chief Stanton hadn’t hammered out the details of this mass interview Posner wanted to do. So he did have to go in. “There’s always later.”
“Dinner? Here? Five?”
“I’ll be here. Need me to bring anything?”
“All I need is you.”
Chapter Eight
“Happy now?” Erica asked as she waved Mike off from the sliver of cement that pretended to be a front porch.
“Ecstatic.” Trish rattled a glass of iced tea. “And you will be too. I know you want to protect him. Trust me, this is the best way. You want him safe at work. Him stewing over you wouldn’t do that. Now that you’ve let him have his way…”
“He’ll be more focused on work than worried about me.” It was Trish’s argument earlier that had won her over. Erica did want Mike safe. Yes, he was professionalism personified, but he was also human. He cared about her. He might be worried, upset, and distracted when he needed to stay on top of things. There was no protecting either of them from any fallout as a result of Detective Posner’s investigation. People were going to think what they would think. She and Mike hadn’t done anything wrong, and they had a fire station filled with firefighters who would back them up.
She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Trish was ensconced in a cherry-red recliner that stole attention away from the green couch, the yellow love seat, and the other brown recliner that had been crowded into her living room along with tables with lamps within easy reach. Somehow the mismatched colors worked. Everyone had been truly generous in helping her out. Erica was grateful, touched, overwhelmed, and felt guilty as hell since she had the financial means to rebuild her life but couldn’t do so right now. True, it was all extras, but the guilt remained. Hopefully, when the truth came out, they’d understand. Besides, she could be generous too.
She stretched out on the couch, her favorite piece of the bunch. Comfort cradled her.
“He’s pushing too hard. I’m feeling smothered.” Conflicted was more like it. Erica wanted yet hated—no, feared—the attention.
Trish poured a second glass of tea from the pitcher in the center of the coffee table. “Hell, I’m pushy, and it doesn’t bother you.”
“It’s different now.”
“I know, and I understand. Mike’s doing what he always does. You’re both looking at it from different perspectives. He’s determined to move forward, feeling he’s already wasted enough time. You’re trying to get back on solid ground. You were right to set your boundaries upfront. You did do that, right?”
“I did.” Erica felt good about it too. As much as he wanted to help, as much as he cared, Mike needed to know he couldn’t come in and take over. She was in charge of her life. If he couldn’t accept that, then they couldn’t be together, no matter how great the sex was.
“Good, because one thing I’ve learned from being an old married lady is that you can avoid a lot of misunderstandings by talking, even when you don’t feel like it. Say what you think and feel, and try to do it in a calm, rational manner. Which is sometimes next to impossible when you want to wring each other’s neck. Bottom line is, no one can truly know how you think and feel unless you tell them. And sometimes we don’t even know until we say it out loud.”
Trish pushed the footrest down on the recliner. “Unless you need some help, I’m going to round up my kids and head home.”
“I’m good. I appreciate everything you guys did for me today.” She started to stand. Trish waved her to stay put.
“Rest a bit. You’ve had a long night and day. I�
��ll corral the kids out the side gate.”
“Tell them I won’t destroy their fort for now.” They’d been having a ball out back with the empty cardboard boxes.
“Will do. Call if you need something, anything.” Trish tossed her a throw pillow from the pile on the floor.
Erica caught it in one hand, then stuffed it under her head. Napping was the last thing she needed right now. There were a ton of things to put away. They’d drowned her in furniture and housewares, things they or a friend were trying to unload or an unwanted extra. But the couch was so comfortable. Her eyelids drooped, and a dream closed in.
She met Mike at the door with nothing more than a smile. Overcome by arousal, he swept her into his arms, pushed her against the wall, and pounded his cock so deep inside it nearly pierced her belly button. Want wiggled through her, settling in all the right places.
Erica jerked awake, her heart pounding. Reality seeped in. Trish was right. She didn’t know what she thought and felt. It was all churned up with what she wanted and needed—Mike. In one night they’d gone from friends to lovers, something she’d fantasized about for months. She wanted more, so much more. Logic told her it didn’t make sense, that it was hormones and horny talking. Logic urged caution, that it couldn’t be real.
Horseshit. She’d had plenty of guys in college who liked to play in bed. Once she’d been ready to take on the world, logic told her adults didn’t do such crazy things. So Fun Erica had been shoved into a closet. She’d been miserable ever since, half dead. Now here was this gorgeous man, wanting her as much as she wanted him. Why shouldn’t she go for it? Logic might argue that as a widow, she should at least show some grief. As far as Erica was concerned, logic needed to fuck off.
Smiling, she stretched big. Meeting Mike at the door in nothing more than a smile sounded pretty damn good. There was a lot to do before five.
Erica swung her feet to the floor and screamed at the unexpected sight of Mike sitting in the cherry-red recliner.
“What the hell? Did you not hear me say five o’clock?” If he couldn’t agree to something so simple—
“It’s five thirty.” Mike closed the National Geographic he was reading.
“What?” She craned her neck for a peek at the oven’s digital display in the next room. Five thirty on the nose. Damn.
“I knocked. Twice.” He held up two fingers. “No answer. You can imagine my concern. The door was unlocked, so I came in, saw you were asleep, and let you rest.”
Erica sank back on the couch. “I’m sorry.”
“You were tired.” He shrugged. “No big deal. We’ll go out and grab dinner or have something delivered.” Mike tossed the magazine on the table beside the chair. Her eyes tracked the motion. “Relax, Erica. It’s just a magazine. Friends leave stuff at each other’s house all the time. Do you know how many Legos are scattered around my place? I could build my own city. There are also dishes, containers, books, swimsuits, underwear.”
Erica racked her brain. Had she left panties at Mike’s house?
“Not yours, my sister’s. Although you did leave behind a can of shaving cream.”
“You’ve made your point. I may have overreacted earlier. I’ll make allowances.”
He kicked back, arms folded behind his head. “Bless you.” The sarcasm hit her the wrong way.
“You promised this wouldn’t be awkward,” she snapped.
“I’m not the one making it awkward. You are. Before you had your way with me—”
“Seriously?”
A smirk lifted the edges of his lips. “Seemed pretty serious to me.”
“Whatever.” She flicked her hand his way. “Go on. Finish.”
“Twenty-four hours ago, I wouldn’t have had to wait until five to come over. I would have been here at four or earlier to hang out. I swear I’m trying to do what you want, but it kills me inside because you’re also trying to change what we’ve always been to each other. Friends. It hurts.”
Erica curled into the corner of the couch and hugged her knees to her chest. “Maybe we shouldn’t have had sex.”
“Really?” He cocked his head. “I heard you moan in your sleep. Dreaming of me? I was pretty sure I heard you mutter my name orgasmically.”
Heat flushed her from head to toe. “I’m done with this conversation. If we’re going to have dinner, let’s just go.” She launched to her feet. “I’ll grab my purse.” Mike’s duffel bag by the chair—the one she didn’t see until it was too late—thwarted her escape. She tripped and fell right into his lap facedown.
“Well, this is an interesting predicament. Isn’t it?” Mike cupped one hand around her hip, pulling her more securely into the chair. “It’s been quite a while since I’ve had such a fine ass at my disposal. Maybe now we can have an honest discussion.”
“Let me up.” Admittedly, her struggle for freedom was halfhearted. It’d been a long time since she’d been in this position too. Possibilities raced her heart. It wasn’t exactly something you told a guy, at least not without getting those looks. Erica had always waited for a hint or a sign, then played coy until the man took over and she felt safe letting him.
“I’m not holding you down.” Mike rubbed his hand over her ass…hard, drawing heat to the surface, stirring the embers.
Erica smiled. “Yes, you are. I’m trapped.”
He chuckled. “Trapped…or hopeful?” He rubbed her ass harder.
“Uhm…that depends.”
“On?”
“How heavy-handed are you?” His cock hardened against her hip.
“As hard or as soft as you’d like…to a point. I’m into pleasure, not discipline. And you already know I like to play. You lead, and I’ll follow.”
“Hard to lead when I’m facedown.”
That comment earned her a pop on the ass. Pleasure shuddered through her body. “I think my dreams just came true,” she said on a sigh.
He dipped his fingers between her legs, pressing the seam of her jeans right to the source. Erica moaned.
“Mine too.” The erection pulsing against her hip confirmed that. He landed another smack. “I’m going to make you come too.”
“Oh, I do hope so.” Over and over again.
“Your lead, baby. Stop means stop.” Four whacks—two on each ass cheek—put her clit on notice. “Do. You. Understand?” Sharp swats punctuated his words.
“Yes, Mike, I understand,” she breathlessly replied. “But remember, hot stuff. In your own words, ‘What goes around comes around.’”
“Hmm…intriguing.” Smack. “Think you can take me on?” Smack.
“I’m sure of it.” She lifted her ass for more.
He warmed her bottom thoroughly, deliciously. Her clit swelled to the breaking point.
“Now…let’s bare that pretty ass of yours.”
Mike slipped his hand beneath her and unfastened her jeans. With her assistance, he wiggled them down until they trapped her knees. She settled her cheek into the leather armrest, eyes closed, waiting for the next volley. He found her clit instead, rubbing it under the crotch of her panties. Orgasm washed over her.
“God, that’s sweet.” She lifted her head. “More.”
“My pleasure.”
“Not yet, but soon.”
He spanked her to the edge again, taking his sweet time about it this round. Made her come a second time after her panties joined her jeans.
“Your ass is nice and pink.” He rubbed his hand over the surface. “So’s my hand. In fact, I think it hurts. Something else does too. I’m dying here.”
“Poor baby.” Giggling, she kicked her feet free of her clothing and rolled to face him, curling her arms around his neck. “What can I do to make it better?”
“I’ll show you.”
Somehow he managed to stand and toss her over his shoulder at the same time. She’d never felt more feminine. Seconds later, he deposited her on the bed she’d yet to make.
He peeled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside
while she removed her clothes. His gaze caressed her breasts. She stretched out on the bed, spreading her legs so he could take a nice, long look. His fingers fell to his belt buckle. He flicked it open, drew the leather with painstakingly slowness through the loops, and placed it at her feet.
Her breasts quivered with her sharp intake of breath. What was he saying by that action? She decided to wait it out. After all, all she had to say was “stop.” The whisper of clothing hitting the floor pierced the buzzing in her ears. Movement in the corner of her eye drew her attention to him standing by the nightstand, where he’d clearly placed condoms without her knowledge. An arched eyebrow dared her to say something about it. She didn’t, couldn’t, and wouldn’t.
He was at her feet once more, reaching for the belt. Once he removed the buckle, he dangled the belt over her, brushing the tip over her hard nipples until she squirmed, then snaking it down her body to the apex of her thighs. She spread wide for attention. Old, soft leather kissed her clit. Erica gasped, lifting her hips for more. That was when Mike gently rolled her onto her stomach.
She curled her fingers over the edge of the mattress, breath held for the first touch. But no, Mike toyed with her. Danced the leather up and down her body, smoothed it over her ass, between her thighs, then started all over again.
“Face me.”
Erica turned over. Mike knelt at her feet with the belt wrapped around his cock. Grasping his erection, he crawled between her thighs and slid home. The belt pressed against her clit. She brushed her hands over his shoulders, staring in wonder and…yes, love. Mike caught her wrists and drew them over her head.
“I’m going to fuck you now, baby, and we’re both gonna come so hard there will be no doubt in your mind that sex between us was never a mistake.”
He laced their fingers together. Erica held on, lost in the rhythm of a pounding she’d be feeling for days and loving every second. Each thrust pushed against her clit, bringing her to orgasm right along with him. When they came, it was together and wondrous, soul-bonding. She covered his lips with hers, kissing him with what little energy remained.
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