My family was so angry at her. They don’t speak about her or that time in my life. After the accident, I went to a very dark place in my head. Not only did I have this horrible injury that still affects me to this day, but I lost my scholarship and a promising career as a professional hockey player. To top all that off, I lost my wife. She just disappeared off the face of the earth. It took me years to come out of the depression and figure out just what I wanted to do with my life. I had only ever known hockey. I had never thought about a secondary career.
When I got a job working in construction, I found that working with my hands was a form of therapy. It allowed me to sort out my internal demons through manual labor. I was young, and I was able to work through the pain in my leg. When I started a project with nothing, but end up creating elaborate houses, enormous apartment complexes, or one of a kind office buildings, I had a huge sense of satisfaction. It led me to where I am today. I’m proud of my company and my accomplishments. Literally building my own company from the ground up, is way more satisfying than any hockey career could have ever been.
All eyes are on me as I walk into the cabin. No doubt they were all discussing it, and filled in all the gory details for those who don’t know the story. Everyone has sympathetic looks on their faces and, truthfully, it pisses me right the fuck off.
“Adrian, are you alright?” Ava asks.
“I’m fine. Can we just not talk about it?” I say, then stand in front of the fireplace to warm my frozen body.
Everyone sits down to dinner and you can hear a pin drop, as I take my seat. I know what everyone’s thinking, because I’m thinking the same thing. Why is she here, at our pond of all places, now? Why after so many years is she back? I looked for her about five years ago. I was curious where she ended up. Her mother still lives in Seattle, but I didn’t dare ask her how she was doing or where she was.
Truthfully, I didn’t look that hard, because I didn’t know what I would do if I had found her. How would I have felt if she was happily married with kids? What if she was living her life without a care in the world? While here I am, still single and fucking miserable. I don’t know if I could’ve taken it. I’m so torn up and conflicted inside. In one hand, there’s the love that I had for her. And if I’m honest with myself, the love that I still have for her. And on the other hand, I have this raging anger and resentment toward her for how she just up and left me at the worst time in my life. I needed her by my side. I needed her love, and support, and strength to carry me through those dark months.
I’m leaving this mountain tomorrow morning and it can’t come soon enough. I have a meeting Monday morning with the developer, John, for a major contract my construction company recently won. I have a stellar reputation with my company and this new high-rise apartment building will easily take up the next year and a half of my life. All of the trades: the electricians, the plumbers the landscapers, the carpenters, and the architect, just to name a few, are all meeting at the developer’s office, and we’ll be finalizing all the plans. We should be breaking ground within the next couple of weeks, as long as there aren’t any permit issues.
Monday morning my assistant, Ireland, arrives early at the office to gather everything for me that I need to take downtown for the meeting.
“Here you go. I have everything you asked for Mr. Wellington,” she says and pushes her tits together showing me her well-endowed cleavage.
“Thank you, Ireland,” I say, then head downtown to my meeting.
There must be something wrong with me. I think seeing Shay has messed with my head. I didn’t give her cleavage a second thought. I know I’d never do anything with an employee of mine, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a red-blooded man who would pass up a free look.
There are rolls and rolls of plans and designs laid out on the large oval conference table. I get right to work going over the details with everyone. I’m in the middle of discussing the different phases, when in walks none other than Shay. My heart plummets to my feet, as she stops mid-stride in the doorway when she sees me. One hand goes to her chest as the other hand goes to the door frame to brace herself, like she needs it to stay standing. The shocked look on her face quickly turns to a look of devastation.
“Ah, good, everyone, I want you to meet Shay Bradshaw. She’s going to be taking over for Stewart. She’s been brought up to speed and I couldn’t be more delighted to have her as the head architect. She’s well known and highly sought after out of New York. Once I heard she moved here and joined Stewart’s firm, I jumped at the chance to have her on this project,” John says.
After her first stumble, it seems like Shay doesn’t miss a beat. She quickly shakes everyone’s hand and introduces herself, but conveniently misses mine.
“Shay, this is Adrian Wellington, from Wellington Construction. You’ll be working closely with him on this job,” John says trying to introduce us.
She extends her hand to shake mine and says in a calm voice, “Mr. Wellington, nice to meet you.”
Nice to meet you? Are you fucking kidding me? How can she act like she doesn’t know me? How can she stand in front of me and pretend nothing ever happened between the two of us? Just the touch of her skin in my hand sends ripples of heated goosebumps down my arms. My mouth instantly goes dry and I can’t seem to put two coherent words together.
As I look into her eyes, I see the years of pain and sadness written all over her face like an open book. She never was able to hide her emotions or the truth from me. I always saw every feeling, every truth, written in bold ink all over her face and buried deep in her eyes. I always could see straight down to the depth of her soul in those baby blues. She darts her eyes to our hands together, and then to her wrist. I look there too and notice she has a tattoo on the inside of her right wrist. I twist her hand upward to get a better look.
She quickly pulls her hand from mine and takes a seat at the conference table. She’s instantly wrapped in conversation with the rest of the trades. I only got a brief look at the tattoo. She never had one when I knew her. It looked like butterfly wings, with a heart as a body, and there were words written in a different language at the bottom. I wonder what the words mean. It’s not like Shay to do something without having a meaning behind it. I wish I could have gotten a better look at it, it was a stunning tattoo.
John walks over to Shay and asks, “Shay, I’d like to take you and Adrian out to dinner tonight to talk a little shop. But most importantly, I’d like to celebrate the three of us working together. I see good things happening with the three of us. Does tonight work for the both of you?”
I’m so confused by the look on Shay’s face. Why does she look so broken? I’m the one that lost everything. She’s the one that gave up and walked out on me. What gives her the right to act like the victim? Well, two can play at this game.
“John, that sounds like a great plan. I’d like to get to know Ms. Bradshaw better, seeing that we’ll be working so closely together now. It was Bradshaw right?” I ask and look her square in her eyes.
I guess she felt the need to change her last name back to her maiden name. I know she had every right to, but that kind of hurts, too.
“I…um, can’t tonight, I’m sorry. I have responsibilities that I can’t get out of on such short notice. I’m truly sorry,” she says, completely ignoring the last name question.
“That’s alright. When would be a better night for you?” John asks her in return.
Man, you’ve got to love John. He’s not going to back down either. I love how Shay is trying to squirm her way out of going out to dinner with me. I can’t help but chuckle to myself.
Shay sighs and I can tell she’s accepting defeat. I really shouldn’t love this so much, this is way more fun than it should be.
“I’ll just go make a phone call and see if I can rearrange my schedule for dinner tonight,” she says.
She steps out into the hallway with her phone, turns her back to us and quietly whispers to whoever is on the ot
her end. She turns slightly to the side and I just catch her wiping a tear from her cheek. Why is she crying? Did I make her cry? I’d feel like a royal dick if I did. I didn’t notice a wedding ring on her finger. I wonder who she’s talking to.
Shay
“Oh Mia, I don’t know what to do. This is an important dinner. I shouldn’t bail on it. This is a very big contract for our firm. Can you check on my Mom tonight around eight? I’d really appreciate it. I’ll have everything taken care of before I leave for dinner, you shouldn’t have to do anything for her except check in on her.”
“Honey, relax it’s not a problem. I love visiting your Mom. Her and I can sit and play some cards. The bigger question is, how you are going to be, having to have dinner with Adrian?” she asks.
“This is a huge disaster. Why is this all happening? Of all the ponds in Seattle, I have to run into him and his family. Like, literally, run into him. Of all the construction companies in Seattle, how is it possible that his construction company won this bid? He owns the construction company, Mia. Fate is one cruel son of a bitch. I don’t think I can do this. Oh my God, I think I’m hyperventilating.”
“Calm down girl, you’ll be fine. You’re a professional, just treat it that way. A dinner out with two other professionals, that’s all it is,” she says.
That’s all it is? Yeah, right, like it should be that easy.
I can’t stop the flow of tears. As hard as I try to fight them, they just came on their own. Just as I wipe them away, everyone starts emptying out of the conference room. I’m a woman in pretty much a man’s world. I don’t need them, especially Adrian, seeing me cry.
“Look, Mia, I’ve got to go. Thanks for looking in on my mom. Don’t keep her up too late playing cards, she needs her rest. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”
Just as I hang up the phone, John and Adrian walk out of the conference room and over to me.
“I was able to rearrange my schedule and I can make dinner tonight after all. Where did you want to meet?” I ask John, trying to ignore Adrian completely.
“I’ll have my assistant make reservations and she’ll call you both with the details later in the day. I see good things happening here. I think the three of us have many opportunities to work together and a long and prosperous relationship laid out in our futures. I’ll see you both tonight,” he says and heads to his office. I cringe at that thought.
That leaves only Adrian and I standing in the hallway alone in an awkward silence. I fumble with my phone in my hand and pray that it will ring, so I have an excuse to get out of here.
“Were you crying out here a minute ago?” he asks.
Oh shit. He saw that.
“No, it’s just allergies. Look, I have a busy schedule and I need to get to my next meeting, I’ll see you tonight at dinner,” I say, turn around and leave with my tail tucked between my legs.
Could I have thought of a more lame excuse? Allergies, in the middle of winter, seriously who has allergies in winter? I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this. I can’t work with Adrian, I ruined his life. I took away his hockey career. I love my mom dearly, but I think maybe I should have considered moving her to New York with me, instead of moving back home. My mother is sixty-five and she recently had a stroke. I could never, in all my life, put her in assisted living when I’m perfectly capable of taking care of her.
My brother did come up to help me sell our childhood home and he helped me move her things into the condo I purchased. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I didn’t want to move back home and take the chance of Adrian driving by my old house and see that I’m back in town.
Stupid, I know, but I insisted. My mother has her own room on the ground floor and she can get around relatively easy on her own. She has regained back some of the use on her right side and she’s capable of doing most things for herself now. She can’t live on her own, that’s for sure, but she still has a lot of spunk and I don’t regret moving back here for her.
When Adrian saw my tattoo, I almost shit my pants. I don’t think he saw all of it and he never will. The thing that no one knows from that horrible day seventeen years ago is that because of the accident, I had a miscarriage. When I sat there locked in my seatbelt, begging and pleading for Adrian to be alright, I said I would give anything, but I never meant my unborn child. I caused the accident by picking a fight with Adrian and paid the ultimate price.
I had found out two weeks before that I was pregnant. I went in for my first appointment and I was completely shocked when they told me I measured in at eleven weeks pregnant. I was freaking out a little bit. Truthfully, I was freaking out a lot. I hadn’t told Adrian yet. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my mom. I was only eighteen and we were both heading off to college together in a few weeks. I wasn’t hiding the pregnancy. I didn’t tell him right away, because I had planned on making it a surprise once we got to Boston. I was thirteen weeks pregnant at the time of the accident.
While I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, I started having major cramping and started bleeding heavily. I was an adult, a married woman, and I could make my own medical decisions and I made the choice to not let anyone know that I was ever pregnant at all. In a way, I thought maybe this was just how it was meant to be. At the same time, I was devastated because I caused this all to happen. I killed our baby because of a senseless argument, all because I thought it would be fun.
When I was able to go see Adrian after the accident and I saw just how hurt he was, it solidified my decision to never tell anyone. It was my burden to bear alone. I had my parents who were concerned about me, but everyone was there for Adrian, not me. When I overheard Adrian and his family blaming me, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I broke inside and I did the only thing I could think of to preserve myself. I ran. It was fight or flight. I had already done the fighting, so at the time I thought my only other available option was flight.
I had my heart set on going to Boston for college, but when I ran, I had to make some quick choices. I moved to New York thinking it was about as far as I could get geographically from Adrian and that family and still live on the same continent. I didn’t even tell my family where I was going for the longest time. I said my goodbyes and my apologies and took the next flight out. I figured everything out on my own and think I did a fantastic job with what I had available to me.
I got the tattoo shortly after moving to New York. I reevaluated my life and my behavior and swore never to forget what lead me here. I mourned the death of my unborn child on my own. I designed the tattoo myself. It’s a heart with wispy angel wings and a halo over top. The wings are airbrushed pink closest to the heart, then turn a brilliant shade of blue. Whether our baby was a boy or a girl, I didn’t know, but I wanted my tattoo to represent either possibility. In the center of the heart is the date 9-14-97, the day of the accident. Under the tattoo written in Latin are the words, ‘Numquam Alieno,’ which means, ‘never forget.' I will never forget that day or what the tattoo means.
That day I broke into a million pieces. I thought I was strong enough to deal with the loss of our baby on my own. I thought I was handling everything so well, until I overheard all those hateful words coming from Adrian and his family. Truthfully, I was to blame and if they hated me for what happened to Adrian, then what would they think if they knew I killed our baby too?
Chapter 3
Adrian
Dinner tonight should be fun. I haven’t been this happy in years. Messing with Shay is going to be my new mission in life. I arrive at the restaurant a little early. I hope to catch her here early too, so I can torture her a little before John arrives. Damn, that fun just got ruined. John’s already sitting at a table. Oh well, she’ll be here soon enough.
I join John and order a drink. Within five minutes Shay arrives, and we both stand as she walks up to the table. I give her a half grin and we all take our seats. Tonight is going to be fun.
“Shay, right?” I ask. “It’s nice to meet y
ou again,” I say.
I really shouldn’t be feeling as giddy as a schoolgirl about this, but man this is fun.
She gives me a dirty look and says to John, “It’s nice to see you again, John. I’m so sorry I’m late.”
We order dinner and I can’t wait to find out just where and what she’s been up to all these years.
“So, where did you get your degree in architecture from?” I ask her.
Finding out all this information is going to be way easier than I ever thought possible.
“I…um, went to Columbia University, where I earned my bachelor's degree,” she answers looking at John.
“What did you do after college?” I ask her and I can’t control the smile on my face.
“I stayed in New York where I worked for a large firm for the past twelve years,” she answers, again still only looking at John.
“Yes, she’s a rather well known and highly acclaimed architect from New York. I jumped at the chance to work with her on our project,” John tells me.
“So, what brought you to Washington?” I ask yet another question.
I can keep asking them too, because she has no other choice but to answer them.
She sighs.
“I needed to move to Seattle to take care of my mother,” she answers, this time looking me straight in the eyes.
Shit that one wasn’t as much fun to find out. I love Shay’s mom. It would be really inappropriate to ask her why she needs to take care of her mom though. I hope Mrs. B is alright.
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