“What exactly is it that you think you can’t give me?” I ask her.
Although, I’m more certain than ever that I know what it is she thinks she can’t give me.
“We’ve been trying for months now to have a baby. I think it’s pretty clear that I just can’t give you a child. You need to find someone younger, someone who can give you that family that I know you want so much. I don’t know if that was my only chance seventeen years ago at having a baby, or if I’m just too old. I can’t give you what you need. So, please just go and find someone who can.”
“Are you finished?” I ask with a smirk on my face.
“I don’t think it’s very funny. I just poured out my guts and said that I can’t give you a baby and that we need to break up, and you sit here with a smug grin on your face?”
“I don’t know what kind of man you think I am, but there is no other woman on the face of this planet, childbearing or not, that I want. I only want you. If we can’t have a baby, then we can adopt. There’s never been anyone else for me, only you. I love you. Even if you can’t conceive a child, I still love you no matter what. Any child that we would adopt, would be damn lucky to have you as their mother. Hell, we can adopt ten kids. I just want to be with you. Any family we have, whether it’s biological or not, will be our family. I don’t need my children to have my blood running through their veins to call them my children and love them with all my heart. What we have is special, and what we have to offer any child, or children, will be amazing.”
I think I hit all my points home, because I’ve stunned her speechless.
After several silent minutes she says, “You’d consider adopting with me?”
“I think I’ve made my point very clear. I’d fly across the world for you. If you don’t want to adopt, I’m fine with that too. I only want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
“No, I want to adopt. I never considered it as an option. I’m such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?” she says and tackles me on the bed, kissing me all over my face.
It’s a mad grab of clothes and body parts, as our kiss heats up. We quickly rid each other of our clothes, then I position her in the center of the bed and rub my throbbing dick on her entrance.
She moans and says, “Put it in, now, I need you, please, oh God, please, just put it in.”
The way we’re going at it, it’s not going to take me long at all. I slowly rub her entrance a little more not giving her what she wants. She was a bad girl and deserves to be punished. I push up on my hand and lock my arm, hovering over her face. I look her in the eyes and give that devilish half grin that I know she can’t resist. She bites her lip and gives me her own devilish sexy little grin. She plants her foot on the mattress and bucks her hips. I let her take me on my back, to see where she wants to take this. Her long blonde hair cascades down her face, as she grabs my cock in her fist. I inhale sharp between my teeth.
She positions herself over me and thrusts herself down on me. She’s so ready for me and the feeling is fucking fantastic. Her hair sways in my face at every inward thrust. She grabs my jaw, digs those perfect little fingernails into my skin and I about blow my load right then. She looks into my eyes while grinding her hips in a circular motion, in and out. She plants a hot kiss on my lips and thrusts her tongue in my mouth. God, I love this woman.
I pull away and look her in the eyes.
“I love you,” I tell her as she continues relentlessly with her hips.
“I love you more,” she replies.
She moves her left leg to the other side of my hip and reverses her position, so she’s facing away from me. Reverse cowgirl, fucking hell yes, I love it. I grab her hips and help her move up and down. I can feel her insides clench around my cock, as she comes with a muffled scream.
I can’t hold out any longer, I tell her, “I’m coming, Doll.”
She quickly gets up, turns around, and sinks her pretty pink lips around my dick as I come in her mouth. Oh my God, that was fucking hot. I continue to pump inside her mouth and she takes it all while looking into my eyes. Seeing the whites of her eyes as she swallows it all, sends me over the edge again and I come a second time. Or, it could still be the first time, I don’t fucking care. I grind my teeth and take it as she swirls her tongue around my sensitive tip.
I pull her up and kiss her like I’ve never kissed her before. She’s mine and I will never, ever let her go. Whether she can have kids or not, doesn’t matter to me. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is her. Without her, my life is pointless. I’ve been floating along these past seventeen years not really living. I didn’t realize it until she came back into my life, that it was always her that was missing.
Shay
Laying in Adrian’s arms, in Hawaii of all places, I can’t believe I never thought about adoption. I’m incredibly stupid and I didn’t give him enough credit that maybe, just maybe, our love was strong enough to survive the possibility of not being able to give him a child. I couldn’t imagine a greater gift than to adopt.
I can’t think of anything else, except that we need to hurry up and get back to Seattle and start the adoption proceedings.
“We should go find Max down at the beach and figure out our flight plans back home. People are going to be worried. You’re supposed to be going shopping tomorrow with my family.”
“Shit, I forgot all about that. Yeah, let’s go find Max and get the hell out of here. Monday morning, can we make an appointment with an adoption agency?”
“Sure, Doll. Anything you want,” he says to me with a smile.
We head down to the beach, hand in hand, and find Max in a rental beach chair sleeping and he is as red as a lobster. I guess he forgot the sunscreen. Adrian kicks his chair and he wakes up with a snoring startle.
“What the fuck, man,” he says quickly getting to his feet.
He’s in a fighting stance and looks like he’s about to throw a punch.
Adrian holds his hands up to stop him and says, “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to come and find you and tell you that Shay and I worked everything out and we’d like to take you to dinner tonight as a thank you. We booked our return flight for the morning. And by the looks of it, you’re lucky we came down here when we did. I think you’re going to be hurting in a few hours. You forgot the sunscreen.”
“Fuck,” he says and lifts his short sleeve shirt up to see the deep red line of his burn.
We get Max a room at the hotel and tell him we’ll meet him downstairs in an hour for dinner. We head back up to our room to freshen up and get ourselves ready. When we get back downstairs, we find Max sitting in a chair in the lobby. His legs are spread wide with his arms are resting on either arm rest. His head is back resting on the cushion. He lifts his head as we get closer and stands like if anything touches or bends, he’ll scream bloody murder. Watching him walk to the restaurant only a few feet away in the hotel is comical, although I do feel really bad for him.
Watching Max bend his arm to bring his fork to his mouth looks to be a painful, feted effort. I wish Chloe were here to comfort him.
Early the next morning, we’re all packed up and waiting at the airport to catch our flight home. I should still be able to go shopping with the girls when we land. It won’t be as long of a day as I would have liked, but it’s still a go.
When we land, we take a cab back to Adrian’s house. Adrian called his mother and sisters and told them that I would be a little late and to meet at our house. He didn’t tell them that I again ran away from him. They are none the wiser. I love Adrian for not telling them.
The very first dress I look at is the one. Amelia told me it was like that for her too. It’s absolutely stunning. It’s an off white creamy sleek gown. It’s sleeveless with a scoop neck. The back is what makes this dress killer. It has a low, deep, V back, going all the way to the small of my back. It slightly pools at my feet and is utterly breathtaking.
Now for the girls, we found the perfect shade o
f seafoam green gowns. They are strapless with a crisscross bodice, then they flow in wavy pleats from the waistline to the floor. I figured if we pair that with peach and cream roses as the bouquets, it’ll be perfect.
All the rest of the wedding details are in place. I immediately start researching adoption proceedings online and Adrian and I both agree that it doesn’t matter the sex or age of the child, we just want to offer our love to whoever is meant to be our family.
Monday morning, after careful research, I make an appointment with the agency. Adrian and I will go in together for an interview this Friday.
By Friday, I’m a nervous wreck. Adrian, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber, but I am freaking out. What if they don’t like us? What if they take one look at us and decide that we’re somehow unfit to be parents? That would be awful.
As I sit in the reception waiting room, my thoughts are racing a mile a minute. I know Adrian said he’ll love me no matter what, but what if we’re unable to adopt too? As I sit there and question Adrian’s capacity of loving me, he grabs my hand away from my wrist. I was unknowingly rubbing my tattoo, while lost in my horrible thoughts.
“Whatever you were just thinking, the answer is yes. I love you that much. Don’t ever question our love. We will get through whatever we have to, together. I promise you. I love you, Doll,” he says and kisses my fingers.
“I love you more,” I reply.
That was all that was needed as a reply. No more guessing if I’m good enough. No more guessing the depths of Adrian’s love for me. He has proven over and over again that he’s not going anywhere. And I should start believing that myself.
We’re called into the office of a very sweet older lady. She explains the whole process and as daunting as it seems, she assures us that she will be with us every step of the way. Our first step is paperwork. And just when we think we have the mountain of paperwork finished, she tells us there will be that much more. Then there will be a home study, then the waiting game. We told her we don’t care about the sex, or age, or ethnicity of the child. We aren't going to limit ourselves in any way. We just want to share our love and have a family.
We finished filling out all the paperwork that night and turn it in the very next day. We plan on telling the family this Sunday at dinner, just what we plan on doing. I know this family will open their arms to any child, whether it’s biological or not.
Chapter 16
Adrian
Sunday at dinner, the entire family is here. And when I say the entire family, I mean even our extended family. Chloe and Kyle’s parents are here too. The only person missing is Max. I’m extremely thankful for his help in Hawaii, and I really wish Chloe and Max were still together. I hope it’s not an issue at the wedding. I want Max there, but I don’t want to make Chloe uncomfortable. I didn’t ask him to be in the wedding party. I’d hate to have to exclude him from attending the wedding too.
As everyone sits down to dinner, I stand and take Shay’s hand and I smile down at her.
“If we could have everyone’s attention for a second, Shay and I have something we’d like to say to everyone.”
“Oh my God, I knew it, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Ava says with a smile.
The change in Shay’s demeanor is instant. She went from beaming so proud for everyone to know we want to adopt, to completely devastated. She probably feels inadequate and unworthy, or somehow broken that she can’t give this family or me a biological child. But, that is so far from the truth, and I wish she would start believing it too.
“No. What we have to say is that Shay and I have started adoption proceedings. We’d like nothing more than to have our own biological child, and who knows, maybe someday down the road that’ll happen. But for now, we’ve decided to adopt.”
“That’s amazing you two, congratulations!” Ava says.
Everyone says their congratulations and how happy they are for the two of us. This family has grown and changed so much over the past few years. I don’t have any doubt that whoever we adopt, will be loved and just as much a part of this family as I am.
After all the dishes have been cleared, the men all head to dad’s study for an after dinner scotch, but on the way I find Chloe sitting outside on the steps.
“Mind if I sit down and join you?” I ask her.
“No, not at all. I’m so happy for you and Shay. You two have so many good things going on in your lives right now. Congratulations on the decision to adopt. You guys will be married soon and I’m sure it won’t take long at all to adopt. I’m really happy for you,” she says.
“Thank you. That’s not what I came out here to talk to you about though. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, you can ask me anything.”
“I…I didn’t ask Max to be a part of the wedding party, because I didn’t want to make things awkward between the two of you. But, I want to ask you if it’d be alright if I still invite him to the wedding. He’s a really big part of this family and I didn’t want to deny him this part of our lives,” I tell her honestly.
She instantly has tears in her eyes and I think maybe it was just too soon to ask her. But, the invitations need to be sent out and I want her blessing before I just invite him.
“I’m so selfish. Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even piece it together that Max wasn’t in the wedding. Of course, he can come to your wedding. If you want him to still be in the wedding party, that’s fine with me too. Please don’t exclude him on my account.”
“No, no, don’t get me wrong. He’s not going to be in the wedding. I just want to make sure it’s alright that he attends the wedding as a guest.”
“Absolutely, oh, I feel terrible about this now. There’s no reason we can’t be in the same room with each other. Oh no! What about family dinners? I never stopped to think about how us breaking up would affect the rest of the family. He deserves to be at family dinners, too. He’s such an important part of this family. He rescued Amelia. You know what? I should stop coming to dinners. He should be here, not me.”
“You can stop right there. No one said anything like that. You’re just as much a part of this family as he is. Don’t start feeling guilty. He’s the one who broke up with you.”
Just then she starts sobbing. Damn, I’m an insensitive prick. Here I’m trying to make her feel better and I go and make it worse.
“I know. What about you two alternate Sundays? You can come one Sunday, then Max can come the Sunday after that, kind of like child custody,” I tell her.
Again she starts wailing. What? What did I say? I thought it was a brilliant idea. Ava comes out of the house, takes one look at the two of us sitting there with Chloe screaming like a banshee, and scowls at me…the scowl to end all scowls.
“What did you say to her, you big hairy ape?” Ava asks.
“What? I don’t know, we were just talking, I didn’t say anything bad. I was just trying to comfort her about Max,” I plead my innocence.
“You were talking to her about Max? What are you, an idiot? Get out of my way,” she says and pushes me off the step.
What the fuck did I say that was so wrong? A few people have gathered at the door and are now directing all their angry looks at me. Seriously, I didn’t do anything.
“Now look what you did, you dill wagon,” Asher says and slaps me upside the head.
“I didn’t say anything,” I insist.
Ava ends up taking Chloe home. Maybe another family cheer up session is in order. Women, heck if I even think I understand them.
Over the next few weeks, all of the adoption paperwork has been finalized, and the home study has been scheduled. Shay is fluttering about in a nervous whirlwind, cleaning and organizing the house. Like she thinks if the house has a speck of dust in it, they won’t consider us. I wish I could ease her mind, but ultimately, I think just letting her obsess about the house is better than making her quit and focusing all her attention on thinking about the whole adoption process.
&n
bsp; Shay
I’ve never been so nervous in my life. I feel like every step in this process I need to ace like a high school final. I wouldn’t want anything to stand in the way of ultimately adopting a child.
The doorbell rings and I about have a heart attack. As it turns out, it wasn’t as terrible as I made it all out to be in my head. The home study should be finalized in the next few days. After that, it’s the dreaded waiting game.
I’ve decided to focus all my attention on the wedding, although there really isn’t much left to do. Adrian and I have decided not to plan a honeymoon yet, either. We don’t know what will happen with the adoption proceeding and we wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of that. Adrian is still working on the massive construction job site and can’t really take time away from that either. He’s been busting his ass to collect on that big bonus to finish early. That’s all fine with me.
The next few months seem to drag. Between waiting for any adoption news and the upcoming wedding, I don’t know how much more anticipation I can take. The weather has turned cold, now that it’s the beginning of December. Everyone is a little worried about Chloe. She seems to have slipped into a bit of a depression. She keeps to herself mostly and she’s started skipping family dinners. Ava says she isn’t home very much and worries about where she goes. She does work a ton of hours, but Ava said she looks like she’s lost a lot of weight that she really couldn’t afford to lose in the first place.
The family siblings are staging a sort of intervention at Ava’s house Saturday, to see if we can all get to the bottom of things.
Adrian and I pull up to Ava’s and see the rest of the family still sitting in their cars. This is something none of us are looking forward to doing. Chloe has gone through so much over the past few years. I hate seeing her like this.
Running Into Love - The Complete Box Set Page 46