I head downstairs for a hard workout. Instead of doing my normal daily workout, I combine two days’ worth and hit it hard. When I’m done, I’m still not satisfied. Since the girls are home and I can’t leave, I strap on my running shoes, put my earbuds in my ears, and I hit the treadmill.
The next time I look at the clock, it’s three in the morning, and I’ve run a half marathon on my treadmill. Exhausted, I don’t even bother with a shower. I fall into my bed in sweat-drenched clothes, and into a nightmare that brings me back to sand filled places, with helicopters and wounded soldiers. It’s one of the many recurring dreams that I can’t seem to let go of. The day my world ended and my hell began. The day I was shot doing what I loved. That day turned into years of never-ending regret and devastation. The pain and the harsh truth of a career I had fought so hard to achieve coming to a screeching end. The same day, I also lost the love of my life, my world. My strength, my rock, my salvation, the mother of my beautiful baby girls, and my everything.
I wake just as drenched as I was when I fell into bed. I strip the sheets and toss them in the washer. I jump in the shower and hang my head in the cold water. My body aches with pain from last night’s workout, and my mind screams with memories. I could seriously stay in here all day, just to numb the feelings in my head and my body. A knock at the bathroom door and the voice of my worried little girl, make me forget all of that.
“Daddy, Aunty Quinn isn’t in her room. Do you know where she is?” Sky asks.
I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist, and open the door to see both my little girls standing in their PJ’s with worried looks on their faces.
“Girls, why don’t you go downstairs and watch TV for a little bit, I’ll be down to make you breakfast in a few minutes. Daddy needs to get dressed first.”
Both girls cheer at the rarity of watching TV before breakfast and forget all about their missing aunt. When the girls are downstairs, I open Quinn’s door and sure enough, her bed hasn’t been slept in. I was so wrapped up, yet again, in my own mind and my own problems, that I didn’t even give Quinn a second thought. Where could she be? Did she stay with her friends again last night? And just who are these friends of hers?
I try her cell, but it goes straight to voicemail. I call Parker and ask him to cover my shift this morning. Besides needing to find Quinn, I need to see Ava. I get dressed, then make the girls breakfast. After they eat, I send them upstairs to get dressed. I run next door to my neighbor’s house and ask their sixteen-year-old daughter if she can watch the girls today. She gladly accepts. Back at the house, I tell the girls that Sarah will be watching them today. The girls love playing with Sarah, because she lets them play with Play-Doh.
I drive straight to Ava’s work and see her car sitting in the parking structure. I don’t head up to her office, but instead choose to wait by her car. I know she has court this morning and she’ll most likely be coming down any minute. I lean against the driver’s side door and try to come up with the right words to say to her.
Within ten minutes, she turns the corner and walks my way. She looks amazing, as usual, and the sight of her instantly lifts the heavy weight off my heart. Her beautiful eyes come to mine and she stops ten feet away. I lift my body off her car and my arms ache; I just want to hold her. She drops her purse and her briefcase by her feet, and runs on her tip-toes to me. She crashes into me with such force it sends my back crashing back into her car. She holds me tight, and I, in turn, hold her as tight as I dare without crushing her.
I pull away and widen my stance, but I don’t let go. I hold her to me with my arms around her waist.
“Ava, I’m sorry about my sister, I don’t know what’s gotten into her. She’s never behaved like that,” I tell her. Just as Ava is about to open her mouth to talk, my sisters ringtone rings in my pocket. “Shit, that’s Quinn, I have to take this. She didn’t come home last night. I have no idea where she is.” I dig my phone out of my pocket and answer on the third ring, “Quinn, where in the hell are you?”
“Jax, please don’t get mad at me, I’m in jail,” her scared voice says.
“You’re in jail? What the hell for?” I bark.
“After I left last night, I was really mad, so I went out with some of my friends. We went to a bar and I got drunk. We were smoking weed in my car and I got in an accident. No one was hurt, everyone is alright, but I got arrested. Can you please come down to the courthouse; they’re holding me without bail. I have to be in court in thirty minutes. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do,” she says, hysterically crying.
“I’m coming. I’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s going to be alright. We’ll get through this together; don’t say another word to anyone until I get there.”
The call ends, and Ava has a worried look on her face.
“What’s going on?” Ava asks.
“Quinn got arrested for drunk driving, and I’m assuming for possession of an illegal substance. She said they’re holding her without bail, and she has to be in court in thirty minutes. Can you please help us?”
“I have my own court case that starts in forty-five minutes. Jax, I’m sorry I don’t think I can help you. I can call one of my associates and get you a good lawyer,” she says.
Chapter 11
Ava
“Never mind, get in, I can swing both,” I find myself continuing to say.
What the hell am I talking about? I can’t swing both. My boss will kill me! Maybe Quinn’s case will only take ten minutes. Then I have enough time to run to the next room.
Jax’s face instantly relaxes and he holds out his hand.
“What?” I ask.
“Keys,” he simply states.
“Oh no, no one drives my car. You can ride in the passenger seat,” I reply.
“If I had more time to argue with you, I would. You win this one, let’s go,” he agrees.
If I weren’t in a rush, and if I weren’t freaking out in my head about everything that’s going on, I would have dwelled more on the fact that it took extreme effort for Jax to get his large, massive body into the passenger seat of my tiny car.
I find out what room Quinn is in and get the arresting file from the officer. I take my seat, and Jax takes a seat directly behind me. I read over the file, and no wonder they didn’t grant bail and detained her last night. Quinn blew a blood alcohol content of .188 on top of finding marijuana in her car, and the damage to the building that she hit. She wasn’t just drunk, she was plastered. For a woman her size, she had to have thrown back at least eight or nine drinks in an extremely short amount of time.
Quinn enters the room; her eyes immediately lock with mine, and then search for her brother. She looks extremely scared and embarrassed, and in some weird way, she also looks relieved to see me. She didn’t say one word though.
Through the whole proceeding, I kept looking at my watch. So much so that it annoyed the judge, and he asked me if I had more important things to do. Not good to piss off the judge. In the end, Quinn got off relatively easy. She had her driver’s license suspended, she has some pretty hefty fines to pay, she is subjected to many hours of community service, and she’ll be on probation. But the important fact is that she won’t serve any jail time. The judge agreed that her record of doing well in school, and her clean record, warranted a lenient sentencing. And that was a lenient sentencing. She should be serving jail time, even though it’s her first offense.
Quinn is so relieved. As soon as the judge steps down, she throws herself on me, giving me a hug and that feels really nice.
“Jax will be able to pay your fines and then you’ll be free to go,” I tell her.
I look at my watch and I’m ten minutes late to my own court case. I don’t even have time to tell Jax, goodbye.
I rush out of the courtroom, race down the hall, and burst through the doors and head straight to my seat. To say that the judge was mildly upset with me is a huge understatement. There’s no leniency when it comes to being late
.
After court, I head to my car, and once inside, I break down in tears. What the hell am I doing? Just how did I get to this point in my life so fast? I’m so conflicted by what to do about Jax. Last night, I had talked myself into ending things with him. I convinced myself that it’s better off for all involved. But when I saw him leaning up against my car in the parking garage this morning, that all flew out the window. It felt so good to be in his arms, then all hell broke loose with his sister, and again, I lost my mind and dropped what I was doing to help them. I knew I didn’t have time to appear with Quinn, but in some twisted plan in my head, I thought that it would make her like me. Even though I had already decided that I needed to end things with Jax, I still needed her to like me. But why, why am I like this?
I pull myself together and drive to my office. Reagan’s chair is empty; she’s already gone home for the day. I open my office door and see Mr. Foley sitting in my chair. My heart sinks in my chest, and the dreaded ‘game over’ feeling passes through me.
“Do you want to explain yourself, why you were late for court this morning?” he asks, tapping a pen on my desk.
“Mr. Foley, I’m so sorry. A friend needed legal counsel this morning and I thought I had enough time to do both. It will never happen again. This case takes top priority, I assure you.”
He gets up from my desk, touches the orchid on the corner, then says, “Make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Next time, it won’t just be the fate of your rank in the company, but the status of your employment.”
Mr. Foley leaves my office, and in that second I come to the conclusion that even as much as my heart is conflicted about Jax, I need to focus on my career and my goals. I need to win this case so I can honor my promise to my dad to take it easy. If only Jax had come into my life when this case was over, it would’ve been a totally different outcome.
I ignore all the yellow messages sitting on my desk, and the yellow sticky notes stuck on just about every surface of my desk and monitor, open my briefcase, and take out my files. It will definitely be another all-nighter. I hear Gus whistling outside my office as he starts to vacuum. He pokes his head in and offers a smile, and then closes my door. I work until I don’t hear the vacuum anymore. Coffee, I need coffee. I take my notepad and head into the break room to the magical coffee machine that makes one glorious cup of coffee at a time. I walk back into my office with my cup to my lips and my head down reading my notepad. When I look up, Jax is sitting in my chair. It must be a full moon. That’s two men today that have been sitting in my chair when I walk in my office. This sort of thing never happens.
“I let it slide when you didn’t return any of my calls last night, then the thing with my sister happened this morning, but you will not ignore me again today,” he says, holding up all the sticky notes.
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” I lie.
“No?” he challenges.
“No, I’ve been busy. You know this. Look, this just isn’t going to work. I was late for my own case after your sister’s. I told you I didn’t think I could swing both. But there’s just something wrong with me, some sort of flaw in my brain that I just can’t say no. Even though I knew, what the consequences would be. I’m glad everything turned out with your sister, and that I was able to help her, but you and I aren’t going to work. I think you should leave,” I say honestly.
I may be breaking out into a cold sweat and have armpit rings the size of Saturn, but damn it, I told the truth. Even though it’s breaking my heart, it’s just for the best.
He knifes out of the chair and stalks to me stopping an inch from my face. I inhale a deep breath through my nose, which is a huge mistake. His masculine scent sends my words teetering in my head.
“I’m not leaving and we are going to work. You’re going to pack up your briefcase and we’re going home, to your house. Quinn is watching the girls tonight. She has had a change of heart and she wants to talk to you tomorrow. You and I are going home to your house where you can work for another hour, while I’m making you dinner. We’re going to eat said dinner, and then I’m going to take you to bed, and show you just how well we work together. I’m not going to let you give up on us before we even really start. You need time until this case is over; I can give you that, but not by yourself. And what I can’t give you is everything you just said. I’ll say this once to you, you’re not flawed; you’re one of the most honest, kindest, most giving person I’ve ever met. Get your stuff, we’re going.”
“You know, you’re really bossy,” I reply.
As much as I had myself completely believing that everyone is better off, and as much as I’m scared out of my ever-loving mind, I just can’t argue with anything he just said. He should have become a lawyer; he makes one hell of a case.
I pack my briefcase, and then we get in his beefy vehicle leaving my car in the garage. My mind is swirling, and thinking, and rethinking everything he just said to me in my office, and everything I said to myself why I shouldn’t be doing this, yet here I am.
“Jax, I need to get one thing straight with you…”
“I’m not going anywhere. You need to stop twisting things around in that pretty little head of yours and just go with your heart. I wasn’t joking. You need time, you’ve got it, but I’m not going anywhere. The girls and I are with you every step of the way, are we clear?”
The girls, I temporarily forgot about the girls, too. I think if it were just Jax, this would all be a totally different story. I’m not mother material. I can’t make time for Jax, my own commitments, my family, and his girls, too.
“You’re doing it again. I can see all the words speeding around in your eyes. Just stop, take my hand,” he says, holding his hand out for mine.
I take his hand and instantly the voices, the thoughts, the crowding, it all stops. It’s just Jax and I sitting in his H3, in this moment in time, driving down the road to my condo. He said I can have all the time I need. No pressure, right?
We get to my condo and it’s empty. Savvy isn’t home again. True to Jax’s word, he sets my briefcase on the coffee table, kisses me on the cheek, and then goes into the kitchen to cook dinner. He brings me out a glass of red wine, smiles at me, kisses me on the lips, and then goes back into the kitchen.
After about forty-five minutes, the smells coming from the kitchen distract me. I put everything away, grab my empty glass, and go into the kitchen. I stand in the doorway and just watch as Jax moves around in my kitchen. He’s so at peace and happy in the kitchen. He’s relaxed and totally loves what he’s doing. Or, is it maybe just me that he loves? That’s dumb, how can he love me? Is it possible he’s in love with me after only a month? But what I feel in my heart and creeping up the back of my throat is love, I’m bursting with it. I have love for this man that won’t let my own thoughts eat me whole. A love for this man that is willing to be patient, and give me the time that I need. Let’s just hope he means what he says. I’m not ready to settle down and play homemaker, not anytime soon. I don’t know if Jax realizes that the time I’m talking about that I need, is years. It’s not just this case that I need to get through. I don’t know if he’s in it for that long of a haul.
My glass is taken out of my hand breaking me out of my inner thoughts, and Jax’s smile fills my vision. I was doing it again. I was lost in the thoughts of my never-ending debating brain.
Jax plates two dishes and sets them on the island. He refills my wine glass and fills his own. He holds out my chair and I take a seat. He’s fixed something that I’m not sure what it is yet, but it’s smothered in cheese, and who doesn’t love stuff smothered in cheese. I’m about to take my first bite when a key being inserted in the front door stops my fork mid-air. About damn time, I see Savvy.
She opens the door and ducks her head. She turns away from me and says, “Hi, sorry to interrupt. I’ll be in my room; I have a huge paper to write. See you guys later.”
And just like that, she disappears into her room.
That
girl has been so dedicated to her schooling. I hope she’s not in over her head, and everything is going alright. She’s going to make an amazing hospice nurse when she’s done and all of this will be well worth it.
Jax and I finish our meal, I insist on cleaning everything in the kitchen while he goes for a jog. I cleaned the kitchen and had a little time to finish up some work, and just as I put everything back in my briefcase, Jax walks in the front door.
Shirt off.
Glistening, sweaty chest.
Ripped muscles on display.
Queue dry mouth.
Jax winks at me, breaking my ogling. He goes straight to my room and I hear the water being turned on in my bathroom. I set my briefcase by the front door and head to my room with a smile. I lock the door behind me, strip out of my clothes, and join my man in my shower.
Jax showed me just how well we work together in the shower, and then again on my bed directly after that. I fell asleep wrapped in his arms, my brain swirling with thoughts that I just can’t get under control. How much time is he willing to give me?
The next morning, I wake wrapped in his arms with his warm breath at the back of my neck. I turn my head to look at him and his beautiful eyes are looking back at me. He gives me a squeeze, kisses my neck, and gets out of bed.
“Go ahead and get ready for work, I’ll make breakfast before you have to go into the office.”
He swats me in the ass, puts on a pair of basketball shorts, then leaves the room. I dress in a pencil skirt and silk blouse. I take the matching jacket out of my closet and set it on the bed along with a killer pair of stilettos.
I find Jax in the kitchen making omelets. I start the coffee machine, then stand behind Jax. I press myself to his back and wrap my arms around his front. I press my cheek to his back and close my eyes.
Jax turns around and wraps me in his arms. He looks into my eyes and asks, “Is everything alright?”
Running Into Love - The Complete Box Set Page 81