by Montana Ash
‘Stop being a miserable old martyr.’
Mordecai scowled, ignoring the voice as he filled his mug to the brim with plain, black coffee. He didn’t add milk or sugar or fancy syrup like most of the soft yuppies of the world today. No, he took it black and straight. His thoughts led to even more amusement bouncing around inside his head and even more teasing.
‘Soft yuppies? You’re showing your age, my liege.’
‘Fuck off,’ was Mordecai’s swift internal reply to his usually soft-spoken and mature second in command. Four variations of male laughter flowed through the Order link and Mordecai felt his lips twitch. Once upon a time, Bastien – along with Aiden, Tobias, and Madigan – would never have dared tease him in such a way. Paladins were long seen as glorified servants as well as bodyguards and battery packs. Mordecai had never held true to such ideas and thankfully, the natural bond he shared with his Order had allowed them all to settle into a comfortable rhythm sooner rather than later. And now, sixteen-hundred years later, they were friends and brothers. Although, Mordecai often felt those words didn’t do their bond justice. There would be no Mordecai without the Order of Valhalla.
‘Aww, we love you too, boss,’ Tobias crooned through the link, even as he slapped Mordecai on the back and sought out his own mug.
Mordecai watched his coffee lap against the rim of the mug before it settled once more. “You’re lucky that didn’t spill, cowboy,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous.
Tobias merely rolled his eyes, as completely fearless as always, before he proceeded to add no less than five teaspoons of sugar to his own coffee. Just watching the horrifying act made Mordecai want to gag, and he cupped both hands around his own brew in a protective gesture.
“Dad? How long do you think you can ignore me?”
Mordecai spun back around because he wouldn’t ignore Max for all the lives on the planet. Not ever again. “I’m not ignoring you.”
Max squinted those expressive eyes of hers, “No – you’re just ignoring my mother.”
Mordecai felt his eye twitch, but he resisted the urge to rub it. That would just earn him more ribbing from his Order. Plus, it would be like an acknowledgement that the Great Mother got under his skin. Which she absolutely, unequivocally did not, he assured himself.
“Pfft, you keep telling yourself that,” Madigan chimed in, out loud this time as he set about making himself some breakfast.
“Will you all fuck off out of my head for five fucking minutes?!” Mordecai snarled, glaring in the direction of his knights, who were now all lined up like a bunch of trained monkeys along the kitchen island. They had all made themselves very much at home in Ryker’s lovely log house by the sea. It was tight quarters – even in such a huge house – but Mordecai didn’t mind. He would live in a hovel if it afforded him the chance to get to know the daughter he had once lost.
Ryker sauntered over to Max, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Now we know where Max gets her filthy mouth from.”
“I thought you loved my filthy mouth?” Max smirked up at her man.
Ryker’s eyes widened and he quickly looked at Mordecai, who merely raised his eyebrows, daring the younger paladin to say something salacious about his daughter. “Why do you insist on trying to get me killed? I want to be around to meet my daughter, you know,” came Ryker’s eventual response.
Max pulled Ryker down for a chaste kiss on the lips. “I think it’s so cute that you’re afraid of my father.”
Ryker pulled back, frowning. “I’m not afraid of your father. He wishes I was afraid of him.”
Mordecai simply straightened from where he was leaning against the counter, beyond amused when Ryker took an involuntary step back. His own smirk was met with a fierce scowl and a silently mouthed ‘go fuck yourself’ from the younger man. Mordecai covered his smile by taking a healthy swallow of his coffee. He really did like the grumpy, violent life paladin that was his daughter’s soulmate. In fact, he couldn’t have chosen a better partner for Max himself. Not that he would ever admit that. No, he would go to his grave before ever saying so out loud.
“Seriously, dad, you can’t ignore her forever. She’s sticking around this time,” Max paused, looking sadly uncertain as she bit her bottom lip. “At least, I hope she is.”
Her Order was quick to rally around her with murmurs of assurance, Beyden hugging her from behind. “Hey, she said she would stay, right? Pop in and out or something?” he reminded his friend and liege.
Max sighed, slumping back against Beyden. “Yes. She did.”
Beyden scrubbed his large hand over her hair, making it even messier, saying, “Then she will.”
Jasminka rolled her eyes as she passed her lover and best friend on the way to the coffee machine. The human doctor literally shoved Mordecai to the side with her hip so she had room to make her own cup. “Bey, you’re so sweet and perky. It’s barely eight in the morning. I don’t have the stomach for that yet. I almost preferred it when your soul was being eaten by the darkness.” She cast Mordecai a conspiratorial wink, “At least then I could have my cup of coffee in peace.”
Mordecai grinned at the doctor, appreciating her level of ease with him, as well as her love and respect for coffee. She had never once been intimidated by him and it made him respect her even more – on top of the fact that she had been a true friend to his daughter when she had been sick and alone.
“If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.” Max snarked back at Jazz, holding Beyden tightly to her.
Jazz grunted, drinking down her coffee in one breath like a true veteran. “You already have your own giant. What would you do with another one?”
“Really? Do you even need to ask?” Max retorted, causing Beyden to blush and step back, and Ryker to growl.
Sexual jokes were commonplace within the group, and whilst Mordecai liked to believe he had a sense of humour, he didn’t really like to listen to sexual banter from his daughter. “I’m leaving,” he muttered.
Max stepped into his path, her belly now leading the way at twenty weeks along. “I don’t think so. Mum has been around for six weeks now and you two still haven’t talked.”
Mordecai knew how long it had been. The infernal woman had simply poofed herself into the kitchen one day like it was no big deal. After playing matchmaker with the latest couple to fall victim of the love-bug, that is. It had been two and a half months since Celeste had first shown up, and six weeks since the news of her son – and Axel’s – had been revealed. Since then, Axel and Celeste looked to be forging a new future together and were well on the way to being sickeningly in love again. Just like the rest of the house. It was nauseating, Mordecai silently grumped. Not that he wasn’t happy for Axel and Celeste to be reunited and for Spiro to have his father in his life for the first time. But being surrounded by so many happy couples was like shining a huge spotlight onto his own very lonely, very loveless existence. He was grateful for his Order, and while his mission in life for the past fifty-odd years had been to seek out his daughter, he hadn’t realised just how much he was missing until he set foot in the Aurora Order’s ‘camp’.
There was warmth and fun, love and life – things he had given no priority to in, well, ever. But all that was irrelevant because although he had seen and done pretty much everything there was to see and do at least three times in his long life, he had never been in love. Not once. The closest he had ever come was an almost violently strong initial attraction, followed by explosive chemistry, and then a bone-deep hate for five decades. And even his stubborn arse knew that shit wasn’t healthy.
“I don’t know why you’re avoiding her anyway. Kind of pointless, don’t you think?” Axel chimed in, ushering Celeste to a chair.
Mordecai gritted his teeth. “I am not avoiding her.”
Axel looked over to him, his blue eyes a mixture of pity and amusement. “Well, good. Avoidance is futile. The woman is basically the source of all living things. I bet she knows everything about you. Including wh
ether you’re a lefty or a righty.”
Mordecai frowned. “I’m right-handed. That’s obvious.”
“No, man. Not what hand you write with – I mean the way you tuck your dick,” Axel explained.
Mordecai choked on his next – and last – mouthful of coffee. “What?!”
“Axel!” Darius yelled at the same time – his tone scandalised. “That is no way to speak to a warden. Plus, your son is sitting right there.”
All eyes turned to the teenage boy who was grinning and stuffing his face with pop tarts.
Axel rolled his eyes, “I thought Mordecai was family now? Besides, Spiro has a dick too.” Spiro laughed even as Axel turned to Celeste with a sheepish look. “Is dick a word I’m not supposed to use in front of Spiro? This fatherhood thing has so many rules!”
“Dick is fine,” Spiro said.
“Dick is not fine,” Celeste said at the same time as her son.
“Ah, ah, ah,” the teenager wagged his finger at his mother. “You said it was fine to use when referring to the anatomy. Dick direction is anatomical.”
Several snickers could be heard throughout the room as Celeste looked around helplessly. She made eye contact with all the women before responding; “See? He’s a mini-Axel. I’m so glad I have you all for back-up now.”
“There, there, sweetie. We got you,” Diana crooned, hugging the new IDC’s Fire Warden in a one-armed hug.
“Anyway,” Axel looked at Mordecai once more. “My point is, that woman knows everything. Including –”
“Including my dick direction,” Mordecai cut in, dryly. “Uh-huh.”
“Is that even a thing? A dick direction?” Madigan asked.
“You’re over sixteen-hundred years old and you don’t know what direction you hang?” Lark asked, looking askance at Mordecai’s paladin. “I, for one, tuck to the left.”
“Hey, me too!” Axel exclaimed.
“Huh. What about you, Beyden?” Lark turned to his friend, who was very red in the cheeks.
“I’m not – I don’t –” Beyden looked helplessly at Jazz who simply held up her right hand. Beyden sighed, the sound filled with resignation as he muttered, “Right.”
“Darius is a righty too.” Diana revealed, ignoring her man’s gasp as she continued, “But I think it just kind of falls naturally that way because his left testicle is bigger than his right one.”
“Diana!” Darius cried.
“What? You make it kind of hard to hide when you wax down there, honey,” came Diana’s swift response.
“Don’t worry, bro. My left teste is slightly bigger than my right as well, so I tend to tuck to the left to give my right ball more room. Maybe it’s a genetic thing?” Dex mused.
“How did this become my life?” Mordecai murmured – more to himself than his Order.
“Oh, please,” Aiden said, from beside him. “You love it.”
Mordecai grunted, scowling in the direction of his daughter’s Order. “They’re a bunch of morons.”
“That Order is one of the best you’ve ever seen in all your long years,” Bastien pointed out quietly.
“With some of the best soldiers you’ve ever met,” Tobias added on.
“And the most loyal,” Aiden chimed in.
Madigan smiled, watching the antics with affection. “Certainly the most loving.”
Mordecai merely grunted, the non-verbal agreement causing his Order to grin. It was true, he mused to himself. He had never met an Order more in tune with each other – nor an Order that fit so well. Other than his own of course, but that bond was forged over a thousand years. The one in front of him was yet to hit two years. Some things are just meant to be, he mused, silently. Refocusing on the conversation, he was horrified to tune back in just in time to hear Max’s comment.
“Well, Ryker kind of has to coil his like a snake. Remember the tanto sword comparison?”
“Dear Gods!” Mordecai gagged.
Ryker smirked, “Don’t be jealous, daddy-o.”
Mordecai pinned Ryker with a frosty glare. “Firstly, never call me daddy-o again. Secondly, I’m not jealous.” He then tried really hard to erase the memory of that one time he had seen Ryker naked after Max had disappeared. But for some reason, it just kept popping into his head. “Sweet Mother. I am out of here,” he grumbled.
“So soon?” Ryker teased, his dark eyes glinting with evil. “Aren’t you going to share with the class?”
Mordecai made sure his voice was pitched to lethal as he responded. “The day I discuss my dick with any of you is the day I sprout pink fairy wings and blow glitter out of my arse.” Besides, he thought to himself, I have no idea what side I tuck my dick on. Quickly followed by; How could I not know?!
“You tuck to the left.”
It wasn’t the smug female voice that startled him so much as the way her warm breath in his ear caused his whole body to tremble. He resolutely kept his stare straight ahead as Dana casually walked past him and enveloped Max in a warm hug. The warmth she left in her wake, combined with the feminine, floral scent had his body rioting and this time he didn’t bother announcing his departure. He simply walked out.
Chapter Two
“I see I’ve chased your father off again,” Dana said tiredly to Max.
Max huffed, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two actually enjoyed annoying each other.”
“Lucky you know better,” Dana answered lightly.
“That’s just it – I do know better. You’re both miserable,” Max stated, before reaching for Dana and offering another hug.
Dana hugged Max back as hard as she dared considering the bump getting in the way. Smiling, Dana pulled back and patted said bump, “Hello, sweet baby.” Her granddaughter gave the faintest of kicks to her flattened palm, but Dana felt the hidden strength nonetheless. Her unborn granddaughter’s path was becoming clearer, and Dana was becoming increasingly nervous. Not about what fate had in store for her – but about what her parents would think about it. Looking up, she saw Ryker’s dark gaze lovingly latched onto Max’s profile before it rested on Max’s protruding stomach. That was when the love morphed into a combination of pride and an almost violent protectiveness. Dana knew it was Ryker whom she was going to have to battle when the truth came out. Setting aside the worrying thoughts for the moment, Dana gave Max a final pat before kissing Ryker on the cheek.
“Hi, uh, Dana,” Ryker said, looking flushed.
Dana laughed lightly. “You did it. You called me by my name. And the world didn’t end.” She teased because it had taken weeks and weeks of her asking him – and the rest of the household – to call her Dana and not some form of the Great Mother. She understood their reticence. It was not every day one came face to face with a God or Goddess. But she desperately wanted to be viewed as a member of the family instead of a deity.
“Ha, yeah,” Ryker agreed before his eyes pinned her. “It’s not going to end, is it?”
Max rolled her eyes and moved over to the large dining table, sitting down and gathering food onto her plate. “Of course, it’s not. I – will you let me do that?” she grumped in exasperation as Darius took her plate and filled it up for her, just as Lark passed her a glass of orange juice.
Darius pinned Max with his hazel eyes, stating, “Liege. Pregnant liege.”
Max grumbled, but Dana noted that she did not argue further. It made her happy to see how far Max had come with her Order and understanding her place in it. Not having been raised in the world of wardens and paladins, Max had been so independent when she had first arrived that the thought of being aided – let alone waited on – was abhorrent to her. She’d had to rely on herself for so long that the idea of accepting help was a foreign concept. The thought saddened Dana and had guilt, anger, and shame rearing their ugly heads once more. She was trying so hard to let it all go – as per Max’s request – but it was much easier said than done. And it certainly didn’t help that a particular Death Warden kept reminding her of all her fai
lures. As if reading the direction of her thoughts, Aiden turned to her and smiled.
“Bas and Madi say Mordecai is in the gym beating the shit out of a punching bag if you want to go talk to him?”
“I do not think so,” Dana replied. She very much approved of Mordecai’s Captain, as well as the rest of his Order. The bond between them was startlingly strong. And although it was exactly the type of relationship Dana had envisaged when she had first helped craft paladins and wardens, she felt slightly envious of it also.
“Seriously, my lady,” Tobias began. “He is the walking, talking, physical manifestation of the word stubborn. He will wither and die before he starts a conversation with you willingly. I know because he told us so. Several times. And that shit just isn’t healthy. So …” Tobias gestured in the direction of the gym, “please, will you just …?”
Dana opened her mouth to reject the idea once more, only to snap her mouth shut when she realised everyone in the room was staring at her in silence. “Wow, this isn’t half creepy,” she murmured.
Ivy – whom Dana enjoyed very much – spoke up. “Dana, take my advice. You cannot win against these people. They will keep at you until you buckle under their smiles and their warmth and their affection. They are insidious with their love – like a virus. Do yourself a favour and do whatever the fuck they say. It will save you – and everyone else – a whole bunch of time.”
“Is that so?” Dana asked, unsure whether to be amused or terrified. She glanced around the room at the still silent and staring occupants “And what is it you are all saying?”
“Go talk to Mordecai!” came the almost simultaneous yell.
Dana winced, wondering if she and Mordecai really had been that annoying to those around them. She had only popped in a couple of times a week for a few hours at a time – all she was permitted to at this point due to the consequences of her visits. And each time she had pointedly ignored the father of her child. Either that, or she had pointedly irritated him, she thought, smiling to herself. It wasn’t really her fault though – the man was ridiculously easy to get a rise out of.