by Montana Ash
Discussion on Order formation and the Paladin Trials had taken longer. Mordecai still firmly believed the Trials were a good thing. Max believed they were archaic and there were other ways to prove one’s worth as a soldier. In the end, Max was outvoted, and paladins would still need to prove themselves, both physically and mentally, before they could be placed with an Order. However, the manner in which they were undertaken would change, and be more in line with their society’s new ethos. What’s more, Orders would now be formed based on an organic bond, whenever possible – just like it had been when Mordecai had formed his Order of Valhalla. Over the years, the need for strength and power – or at least the illusion of it – had become more important to the wardens than a natural bond with their knights. As such, stronger paladins – with a heavy bias to males – were deemed more desirable. It was why paladins like Lark and Beyden had been cast out of society, and why Cali had been viewed as nothing more than a sex toy and battery pack. Mordecai couldn’t wait to see such changes come to fruition. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew the systemic prejudices running throughout their society would not be abolished overnight. No, it was going to take time. He was already exhausted just thinking about it.
“It will be worth it,” the voice was soft but resolute.
Turning from where he had been lost in thought watching the new IDC interacting casually, he nodded at Dana. “I know it will be.” He didn’t bother to take her to task for apparently reading his thoughts. He was already in enough trouble with her as it was. He cleared his throat, “About earlier –”
“You do not need to explain yourself,” Dana interrupted.
“But I –”
“Truly, Warden. It is of no consequence,” Dana butt in once again.
“Damnit, woman! Would you shut up and let me finish a sentence?” he practically yelled. Dana snapped her mouth shut and Mordecai looked up to find all eyes on them once again. Ryker gave him a sarcastic double thumbs-up, to which Mordecai flipped him the bird. “Fucking ingrate,” he muttered.
“He is wonderful,” Dana murmured, looking at Ryker with fondness.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I’m trying to apologise here,” Mordecai said.
Dana’s eyebrows rose. “Is that what you are trying to do?”
Mordecai huffed, “I know I suck at it, okay? But apparently, you’re not so great at accepting them.”
Dana’s blue-green eyes mapped his face for a moment before she nodded, “Perhaps you are right. Continue,” she invited.
He opened his mouth to do just that, but he developed a case of nerves instead. He still felt it was his right to be angry at the woman, but that was no excuse to keep treating her like shit and tearing her down every time he opened his mouth. He was old school in how he felt women should be treated. So then why couldn’t he simply open his mouth and say sorry? Shit, Mordecai thought. I’m freaking out. I’m actually freaking out. Pull it together, you pussy! he scolded himself.
“Do not hurt yourself, Warden,” Dana said, dryly.
Mordecai glared at her, torn between feeling amused and aggravated. “I’m sorry, okay? What I said earlier was not supposed to be rude. You’re not someone who can be in the background. You’re the star of the show – and always will be.”
Dana blinked a few times quickly, obviously processing his words. “Well … that is … thank you. Apology accepted.”
“Good. Great. As for my behaviour in the gym, that was uncalled for and unacceptable. I am very sorry if I scared you or made you feel threatened in any way. I have never treated a woman like that in my life, let alone a goddess. I humbly apologise.” It wasn’t hard to say the words this time, likely because every one of them were true. And far overdue.
Dana was looking at the ground, her bare foot making small circles in the lush green grass. Even as he watched, bright yellow flowers began to bloom as if from nowhere and a small ring of simple daisies formed to encircle Dana where she stood. She created life so effortlessly and with such simple beauty that it took his breath away. She appeared lost in thought and didn’t even seem to notice what she had wrought. When she continued to keep her head down and not say anything, Mordecai bent down and plucked a single flower. Strangely, it wasn’t attached to any stem and when he held it, he felt no death. Usually, as soon as a flower was picked, he could feel the plant begin to die. Sometimes it took hours, and other times days if it was well cared for. But, inevitably, a picked flower was a dying flower. Apparently, that was not the case if it was created with Mother Nature’s toe, he thought. Nudging her chin up, he pushed her unruly red hair behind her left ear and tucked the flower there. The contrast of yellow and red was astounding and he wondered what she would look like wearing nothing but yellow lingerie.
Dana’s eyes were a little bewildered as they met Mordecai’s and she touched the flower with a tentative hand. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Apology accepted.” And then she poofed away in a cloud of coloured sparkles.
“Whoa, that was positively fuckin’ romantic, Mordecai,” Ryker yelled at him.
Spinning around, Mordecai snarled at his son in law, “I’m going to kill you, Ryker!”
Mordecai used the ensuing, undignified chase to cover up the burning of his cheeks. Because, yeah, it did feel fuckin’ romantic. And he had no idea what to think about that.
Chapter Six
Dana closed her eyes as she leaned back against the wall in the hallway just outside Axel’s music room. The fire paladin was currently inside playing a particularly poignant piece on the piano, and Dana was forced to stand and appreciate the beauty of the music as well as the skill of the man playing it. She really liked Axel and was so relieved he and Celeste had come together once more. It was true, she should not have stepped in and created small opportunities for the pair to come together. She did not necessarily break any rules – not like she had with Mordecai all those years ago. Still, Dana had come close to blurring a few guidelines and she was going to have to answer for that. As soon as I stop dodging my colleagues, she thought. Tempus and Tanda had not called for her, so she was able to keep on deluding herself that they did not care what she had been doing on Earth the past couple of months. But just because she had not heard from them, did not mean they were unaware. They knew all. Just like she did. Yes, she was going to have to answer for her actions. And soon.
“What are you doing?”
The voice startled her, and she gasped, a hand flying to her chest as she opened her eyes. “Warden,” she breathed out. “You startled me. I am not doing anything.”
Mordecai scowled at her as he crossed his arms over his burly chest. “Really? Then why are you so jumpy? Are you spying again?”
Dana pushed herself off the wall, indignant rage filling her. “I was not spying!” She had thought after the whole flower deal and the apology the day before, that perhaps there was a truce looming on the horizon. Apparently, she was wrong. “I do not spy! Yes, I watch – that is pretty much my job description these days. But I do not go around spying on my family.”
Mordecai blew out a harsh breath, easing up his rigid stance. “I’m sorry. I hate that my immediate thought of you is that you’re doing something sneaky or crappy.”
Dana felt the words like a punch to the gut. “I hate that too,” she told him softly.
“I’m sorry,” Mordecai offered again.
“It is what it is,” Dana appreciated his honesty, but it still hurt like a bitch.
“Yeah,” he agreed, looking pained by the admission as well.
Looking around, she did not see any of his paladins but knew they must not be far away. Even in the safety of the house, Mordecai’s knights were always on the job. When he made no effort to move along or speak again, Dana cleared her throat. “I honestly was not spying. I was just listening. Axel plays beautifully.”
Mordecai cocked his head to the side as if just noticing the pure sounds floating out of the room next to them. “He does. Especially considering he’s self-taught.�
� He shook his head, “Max’s order seems to be filled with innately talented paladins.”
Dana smiled at that because Max’s Order was filled with very special paladins indeed. “Hmmm,” was all she offered though, rocking back and forth slowly to the music.
“Would you like to dance?”
Dana felt her mouth fall open in shock and she looked up at Mordecai in surprise. Had the man just asked her to dance?
“The look of abject horror on your face says it all. Forget I said anything,” Mordecai snarked, already moving away from her.
“No, wait,” she grabbed his arm, turning him around. “It is not that. I would love to dance. I just … I’ve never danced before.”
Mordecai looked down at where she was touching him, and she quickly let him go. He cocked a single eyebrow, disbelief evident in his voice, “Never danced before as in …?”
“As in ever,” she admitted.
“But you’re old as dirt. Hell, you’re older than dirt!” He must have realised what he said because he was quick to apologise, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel –”
“Ancient?” Dana asked, eyes twinkling with mirth. “I suppose I am. But just when would I get a chance to dance? And with whom?”
Mordecai shrugged his heavy shoulders, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Don’t you have eternity over there? Nothing but time? Seems like plenty of time to learn a hobby or two.”
Dana rolled her eyes at his ignorance. “It does not work that way. Yes, I have nothing but time. I am immortal, after all. But I cannot just go and take up a hobby of my choosing. You really have no idea what I am or what I do.”
Mordecai’s face softened as he considered her more closely. “I’m beginning to see that,” he admitted. Then he shocked her further when he held out his right hand. “So … dance?”
Dana looked at the outstretched hand and smiled small. “I guess I should learn how to dance before Max’s wedding.”
Mordecai went still, “Max is getting married?”
Dana’s grin grew, “She is.”
“What? When?” Mordecai asked, looking shocked and confused.
“Soon,” Dana shrugged, before finally settling her palm in that of Mordecai’s. Warm sparks immediately shot up her arm, causing her heartbeat to accelerate, and her eyes darted to his. His green eyes narrowed on her face, tracing her features as if looking for something. Of what, Dana was not sure. But he was voluntarily touching her – and not to throttle her – so she was not going to overanalyse anything.
The music continued to play, the tempo changing to an even slower, softer beat as Mordecai drew her close to his chest. He really was a very tall man, and her head was barely level with his impressive chest. Still, she did not take advantage of the convenience and maintained enough distance between them so their bodies were not in contact. He reached down and grabbed her left hand, placing it high on his shoulder as he drew her a little closer with a hand to her hip. He was still holding her right hand in his as he started to move in what she knew was a traditional waltz. She was so busy concentrating on what her feet were doing and counting the steps in her head that she hadn’t noticed he had been drawing her in closer and closer until her breasts brushed against the hardness of his body. Gasping, she looked up, only to get caught in the mesmerising green of his eyes.
They stared at each other for a few moments, both tense and unsure, before Mordecai cleared his throat. “Are you sure you’ve never danced before? You’re doing a good job.”
Dana flushed under his praise, liking more than she should the feeling of happiness kind words from him brought. Gods, am I really that starved for affection? she wondered to herself. Or am I simply starved for him? “I really have not. I hardly have the time for such things. Besides, who would I dance with?”
Mordecai cocked his head, looking genuinely curious. “There aren’t any other people, or gods or whatever, in Otherworld?”
“Of course, there are. It is a world just like this one – only filled with lives who have already lived – or are yet to live,” she explained.
“Like the Christian idea of Heaven and Hell?” Mordecai asked.
Dana scrunched up her nose as she thought about the best way to answer. Theology and ideology were complex topics. “Kind of. It is a realm or another plane of existence, I guess you could say. The same as Heaven and Hell. Those exist too.”
Mordecai stopped moving. “Really?”
“Of course. There are as many places for the dead and the yet to be born as there are the gods that construct them,” Dana explained. They had stopped moving but Mordecai seemed to have forgotten that he was still holding onto her. She felt no need to remind him.
“So … there are other gods?” Mordecai asked. “You’re not … it?”
Dana chuckled, “It? No, not at all. Seriously, Mordecai, you have been alive for over a millennium. You are a keeper of the element of death. How can you be so ignorant of other gods?”
Mordecai frowned, “It’s been a long time since any history was taught to our paladins and wardens. And what was documented over the years was lost when Garret destroyed the Warden Chronicles. I guess …” he paused, considering his words. “I guess I have forgotten as much as I have learned.”
Dana did not know why she was so surprised to hear the admission, but she was. Was Mordecai correct? Was she so out of touch with her own creations? How could she not know how ignorant and uneducated they had all become? “Because I was so focused on my own needs and my own desires. I was focused on our daughter,” she suddenly understood.
“What are you talking about? Dana?” Mordecai lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his once again.
Dana shook her head, breath shuddering out. “You are right – I am a terrible goddess. I failed my people. All these years, I was so focused on Max – focused on ensuring she lived up to her destiny that I did not realise I was failing at my own.”
Mordecai finally let Dana go, spinning away from her and running his hands through his hair. He stood with his hands on his hips and his back to her as he shook his head, cursing nothing and everything at the same time. Finally, he spun back around. “No,” he stated, harshly. “No. I was wrong. I’m a fucking self-righteous prick who has no idea what he is talking about. You’re right – I know nothing about you; how you live, what rules you follow, what your damn job is. I’ve just been so fucking angry, Dana. Angry with myself and with you. Angry with the whole fucking world. I was hurt and guilty and lost, and all I could think about was finding Max and hurting you. I thought if I did that, everything would all be better. But it hasn’t worked that way.”
Dana smiled knowingly. “I know exactly what you mean. As soon as I felt Max spark to life inside of me, nothing else mattered. Literally. Everything became about her. It is what any good mother should feel,” she allowed. “But not what a good god should feel. This is why we aren’t allowed to create life with our own bodies. Why we should not have our own children. The conflict is too great. Priorities change …” Dana murmured, speaking of her and her deity colleagues. Tempus, Tanda, I am so sorry, she prayed. “I must leave now,” she informed Mordecai, her mind reeling with her newfound awareness. She needed to talk to her two counterparts immediately.
“Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going? And what do you mean we?” Mordecai asked, snagging her arm in a secure grip.
Dana looked down at the grip but did not try to remove it. He was not hurting her, just trying to keep her from poofing away. “You have just helped me see another side of this. Thank you,” she told him. Mordecai had a confused look on his face that was adorable as hell and she barely stifled her giggle – and her need to caress his frown lines away.
“I thought we were dancing? How did this turn into some big existential revelation?” Mordecai wondered.
She did laugh out loud this time. “Dancing must be good for the soul. You are a good teacher,” she informed him.
“And you are beautif
ul,” he suddenly said, looking at her like he had never seen her before.
Dana felt her eyes round and she took a step back. “What? Oh, I, uh, I really do need to go.” She had no idea what caused the sudden shift, but now that he was looking at her with something other than anger and hate, she had no idea what to do about it.
“You’re nervous,” Mordecai stated, looking amused by the thought.
Dana drew herself up, “I am not nervous. I just really need to go. Thank you for what you said – about not understanding, about being a prick.” She grinned at him.
He snorted, “Anytime. But seriously, I know it wasn’t an apology for the way I’ve thought about you these past fifty-odd years. But, if you stick around, you might just get one.”
Air caught in Dana’s throat and she pressed down hard on her chest with her palm to calm the furious beating. Although she had never held her breath for an apology – she truly felt she did not need nor deserve one – she had been longing for Mordecai to look at her with something other than malice for years. Too bad it was on the heels of her own personal realisation. She truly did need to return to Otherworld and sort her shit out – as Max liked to say.
“I look forward to that. But I really need to go,” she said regretfully.
Mordecai’s eyes traced her face, narrowing a little before he said, “The ‘we’ you mentioned?”
“Right,” Dana nodded.
“Will you be back?” Mordecai then asked.
Dana quickly calculated times in her head. She had been Earth-side for a few days, which meant she would need to spend double the time back in Otherworld before she could return. She was yet to explain how her visits worked with Max, let alone anyone else. And she did not have the time now either. Instead, she simply replied with an affirmative. “Yes, I will be back. But likely not for a couple of weeks.” To her surprise, Mordecai looked annoyed with the news, and within one blink to the next, he was once again cold and aloof, looking down at her with an expressionless, but undeniably, handsome face.