“He won’t come to see you Taini, not even to say goodbye. He told me he intends to hunt Amada, but only to destroy her. He thinks we should help you to move onto the next life.”
XXXIV~~ Taini’s Perspective
I knew my words fell on deaf ears. Nothing I said to Gaho made her change her mind. I'd begged her for days to have Waylon perform the spell that would set my heart free and allow me to leave this earth. Gaho refused to agree with me and worse she lied when Waylon and Pau asked what I desired.
She told them I wanted a fresh start and a new body. She said I wanted to move forward with Waylon's plan. That if we could get our hands on a spell that I wanted a chance to start over in a new body. That's why I was in the cargo bed of an airplane on my way to Arizona.
It turns out Ulric's rejection wasn't the only thing Gaho learned on the phone. Apparently Seraphina, Ulric's skinwalker eternal heart was severely injured and Waylon decided he needed to personally attend her. From what I overheard Waylon was the best shaman in the world. He regularly performed miracles.
I listened raptly while Pau heralded the skills of his partner. Apparently he used both science and magic to heal his patience. I didn't hear the details of what was wrong with Seraphina but based on Waylon's reaction I’d to assume the damages were severe. I wasn't usually a petty person but after being rejected for a third time part of me hoped she was suffering as much as I was.
I was told that I would be off loaded and sent to Gaho's private residence in Arizona. That I would stay with Gaho while Waylon helped Seraphina and Pau looked for the spell. If I had lips and lungs I would have made a dramatic sigh showing my displeasure at their plan.
I heard the cargo door close and was intermediately dropped into pure darkness. I can't recall anything ever being so dark. I'm not sure why but without my physical eyes I couldn't see the way I did as a chupacabra. It was like I was already seeing through the eyes of a human again.
I sat in the dark desperately trying not to think of how weak I would be as a human. I prayed they never found the spell and they were forced to let me go. I couldn't go back to being so vulnerable. Even with all my power I couldn’t fight the Nazi’s. I'd been hurt and abused as a chupacabra but even the terror the Nazi’s put me through was nothing compared to the horror I knew the human Jews endured. With any luck Pau would fail in his mission and they would be forced to let me go.
XXXV~~ Ulric's Perspective
I was leaving home and I wasn't sure if I was ever really going to come back. I loved and hated Seraphina at the same time. I was so confused every time I looked at Seraphina. Seeing her empty eye socket and missing leg reminded me of the pain she endured for my life. I owed her so more than what I was capable of giving her. I should be bathing her in love and attention yet I found it hard to be in the same room with her for more than a few minutes.
Each time she looked up at me with the pain and sorrow so clearly written on her face I felt the guilt twist in my stomach like a knife. I often allowed myself to shift into my coyote and lie at her feet. Unlike me, my coyote and other animals were perfectly content to be in her company. In fact every time I forced them to leave the room they would whine and cry and drive me nuts.
I hated that she was my eternal heart and that I'd never really believed her. I hated that my heart was repulsed by her love while my animals reveled in it. I hated that I seemed to be two different people with two different hearts stuck in the same body. Pau said that was actually a possibility. Pau claims it was bad magic that was done hundreds of thousands of years ago that tore all our hearts in half. He claims that both my skinwalker and my chupacabra may have different hearts. He believes one heart lives within Seraphina while the other half of that heart resides inside of Taini and was born the moment I drank blood for the first time and her skinwalker.
For that reason, he has been nagging at me since the moment he came here to change my mind about seeing Taini. He thinks that I will torture myself for all eternity if I don't make things right with Seraphina and Taini. I won't let him see it but I already know the truth of his words. The heart that resides in with Taini punishes me daily for refusing to see her. In some ways it's like she is haunting me. I can feel her presence and every now and then I actually think I can reach out and touch it.
I have begged both my Pau and Gaho to help Taini to find peace and to leave me out of it. I keep lying to them and saying that I don't want her and never did. Now that I am married to Seraphina my heart is satisfied and can't feel anything for Taini. The reason I force myself to keep lying is because I want it to be the truth. I want to feel whole and believe that I can love Seraphina but I don't. My animals loves her and want nothing but to be in her presence, but I secretly am scared to death that I hate her and everything she represents.
I know, I already hate the child that grows within her womb. I am ashamed that I do, but I can't help myself. It was conceived in violence, deceit and anger. It is not my child and I'm not sure I will ever be able to feel anything but disgust when I see it. I cringe every time Seraphina asks me to touch her stomach and feel the child kick. I've have to swallow back vomit on more than one occasion. I have a hard time pretending to care. Not once since I brought Seraphina home have I called her my eternal heart or the child anything but hers.
My pop already figured it out. He approached me just last night and flat out asked me what was wrong between Seraphina and me. I lied to him too. I said it was the guilt of seeing her deformed body and knowing what the men did to her. I claimed I was full of anger and vengeance and wanted to seek retribution on her behalf. I also told him how the child just served to remind me on a daily basis of how I failed to protect her. That my animals were angry on a daily basis that her belly was filled with a baby that was not our own.
He claimed to understand but looked at me with a kind of shame and pain in his eyes. I knew my pop wasn't my sperm donor and probably felt I diminished his love for me. That however didn't stop him from hugging me in a sign of love and comfort. The moment we pulled from the embrace he questioned me on why I prefer to have my animals in command more often than not.
I again lied this time I placed the blame on them. I said my animals needed to be near her in order to be calm. That they were constantly worried that someone or something else would hurt her. I didn't have the heart to tell him that being in Seraphina's presence repulsed me. I could see the worry on his face and I was shocked when he offered me his advice.
"Son, you need to do what you need to do. Why not use this time while Waylon is here trying to heal her to hunt down those who harmed her. Get justice boy and then you can be at peace and find happiness with Seraphina and child.
We have several leads on NOFS members that captured and tortured. We have also identified all twenty two men that were in the bar and participated in brutalizing Seraphina. If it were me I would hunt down each and every one of them and remove their family jewels. Death is too kind for them. Seraphina lives with what they did to her they should have to also."
My animals couldn't agree more with my pop. They heard his words and immediately begged me to start the hunt. They loved the idea of finding and maiming her attackers in ways that would cause them pain for the remainder of their lives. They all but bounced out of my skin with joy at retribution. They felt it would be a great honor to seek revenge on Seraphina's behalf.
The idea of leaving home and not coming back until I found and destroyed the lives of all twenty two men was enough to convince me as well. I threw the last pair of jeans into my duffel bag and left the house. I felt tremendous relief the moment I was away from her. I never even took the time to say goodbye.
XXXVI~~ Seraphina’s Perspective
I knew that Ulric was having a hard time being around me. He was foolish to think that his animals and my fox didn’t communicate. They had ways that went beyond words. Our animals shared everything. My fox didn’t keep the hard cold facts from me. I knew Ulric had a hard time looking at my damaged dir
ty body and I couldn’t blame him. No man in his right mind would ever want to touch me after what has happened to me. I am impure and filthy and I understand his disgust.
I also know that he absolutely hates the vial foul thing now growing without my consent within my womb. I knew he didn’t want to have to pretend to be the pop of a monster. He wanted his own flesh and blood babies and this thing inside of me wasn’t his. I totally agree with him. I wish I’d been successful when I tried to rid myself of it the first couple of times. I didn’t want the child of one of those men. I was sure it would be a monster like them.
I tried to be a good woman and I know I brought Satan down on myself. It was my own foolishness that caused the issue in the first place. But haven’t I paid for my sins. Wasn’t just the way the used and abused me enough. Must I pay more? Why would god make me responsible for bringing such a vile and nasty creature into the world? I was constantly searching and trying to find ways to end its life.
My fox and Ulric’s coyote had a lot of conversation about how to rid ourselves of the unwanted creature. Ever since Ulric brought me home I was treated like a broken doll. I was watched day and night. I couldn’t so much as breathe loud without someone running in and checking on me. With this many people around I didn’t think I would get another chance to try and self-abort.
I took another deep breath and forced myself to look at Kealoha and Waylon. They were sitting with me yet again talking about different medical approaches Waylon would like to take. He cited his success with Kealoha as a reason to consider chupacabra blood. He felt it was my best chance at growing both my eye and my leg back. I smiled politely again and declined.
There was no way I was going to take a chance that the procedure would turn the foul disgusting beast inside of me into a nagual thereby making it an invincible killer. Nothing they could say or do will change my mind. I know if I am responsible for creating something we can’t kill, Ulric will never come back to me. The only way we will ever have the happiness we deserve is when the child dies. Someday, somehow I know I will find a way to kill it and gain Ulric’s respect back.
I was probably the only person other than Ulric that knew the real truth. His Coyote told me everything. Ulric was leaving to find the men who hurt me. He planned on finding and torturing every single one of them. His jaguar and crow told me that when they were done with the men they too would be trapped in a bed going to the bathroom through a tube. They bring me back my honor. With the men punished or dead my life force essence would be cleansed.
It pleased me that Ulric loved me enough to want revenge and return my dignity. I too however I needed to do my part. It was up to me to get rid of it. Somehow before he returned home I needed to make sure that I killed it. I just knew in my heart that Ulric would never come back to me as long as the damn thing lived.
That’s why I declined having any medical procedures that involved chupacabra blood. I simply could not take the chance that it would make it invincible. I however never say that out loud to anyone anymore. I learned my lesson. I told Waylon the truth and he looked like his head was going to explode. He was indignant and suggested that the trauma has left me confused. That all children are born of god no matter how they were conceived blah blah blah. I think he’s nuts and I am right but I don’t say it anymore. As a result I now have to see a therapist on a daily basis on top of the new medications they force me to take to keep me calm.
Now, when they come in and talk about medical procedures I just flat out refuse. I give them no reason and agree to nothing. In truth I am looking forward to going through the procedure and possibly getting a new eye and leg but I will wait until the beast is no longer in my body. Ulric’s coyote has agreed with me. He’s even made Ulric tell them that all risky procedures can wait until it’s been born. Waylon’s continued to speak and I could tell that he words were making Kealoha uncomfortable. I forced myself to focus on his words. If they were making Kealoha happy perhaps it was something important that I needed to hear.
“So with Ulric off on business I thought this would be a great time to get some of the more important procedures done. We'll start tonight with the baths. With any luck by the time he returns you will have a new leg and a new eye.”
What? Did he just basically tell me I no longer have a choice? That if Ulric isn’t here to stop them they are going to do their experiments on me anyway? Bull. I would show them. They already think I’m nuts I’ll just play up the crazy. With that in mind I allowed myself to remember the things the men did to me. The way they used my body and the pain each and every one of them caused me.
“You are going to force me just like them? You are taking my choices away. Am I no longer worthy or capable of choosing for myself? How are you any better than the men that raped me repeatedly over and over again? Why do you get to choose what’s right for me? They thought they were doing the right thing too? Who made the two of you god? Where’s Jessie? Where’s Gaho or Pau? Do they know how you plan to take my rights away? This is wrong and you know it!”
Then I allowed myself to cry the tears that I’d been holding back. I screamed like the devil himself was in the room with me. I shouted like the end of the world was upon us. And I flung my body from side to side like I was possessed by a demon. When I expended all the energy I’d shifted into my fox and started all over again.
During my outburst Gaho and Pau bust into the room. They were all screaming questions and trying to calm me down at the same time. I knew the moment Kealoha and Waylon realised they should never have told me they were going to force me. I could see the defeat in Kealoha’s eyes. Waylon too looked contrite and ashamed. Just as it looked like one or both of them might have tried manipulate me mentally my therapist Jessie walked into the room. I used that to start all over again. I shifted back into my human form now naked and covered in sweat and blood from the painful shift and started to carry on all over again. I wanted to make the biggest scene I could to make sure they never considered forcing me again.
My therapist Jessie sealed the deal. She told them they had single handedly undone all the good she’d managed to accomplish in the past several weeks. Then she pointed out the obvious that I will in no real pain and that the loss of my eye and leg were not life and death. Under no circumstances was it acceptable to force someone to undergo treatment that was experimental and possibly dangerous to my unborn fetus. That did the trick. I knew that I’d accomplished my goals.
Even better I realised I could use this event as a catalyst. It was possible I could use this as a way to finally get some privacy and just maybe the opportunity to get rid of the beast. Just to feel out how far I might take this I whimpered in my broken voice
“I want to leave. I want to go home to my own apartment. They keep me here like a prisoner. I’ve committed no crime yet I am watched day and night. How can I ever feel safe when they just threatened to hurt me just like the men? I am a skinwalker and I deserve to be treated with respect. Help me Jessie please. They were going to manipulate my mind so they could get their own way. Call the Chief and ask him to send someone to pick me up. I belong with tribe not here.”
I knew I made my point and that every single one of them learned a valuable lesson. I also knew that there was no way any of them could stop me from going. I saw Jessie nod and knew that before the sun set I would be safely back on tribal grounds.
XXXVII~~ Ulric's Perspective
It took me four days to track down my first lead. I was in and out of every shady bar between Vegas and Reno. His name is Bidziil. He's a chief without a tribe. He's described by those who have had the unfortunate luck to have come in contact with him as dangerous, volatile and rouge. He's a trained combat specialist and strategist.
He was proud of his NOFS membership and bragged about capturing and torturing camazotz and nagual. He was definitely one of the men in the bar. He stood over six feet four and weighed in at two hundred and fifty pounds or more. He was unshaven and even from here I could smell days of
sweat on his body. His sandy brown hair was shoulder length and he had it tied in a knot at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a dirty wet t-shirt that had once been white and a pair of striped boxer shorts.
My sources were able to confirm despite his dirty and unkempt appearance Bidziil is the brains behind the Vegas operations. He was the one who gave the order to kidnap and kill Chief Óscar's son. He also was the one who invited Chief Óscar to New York. He stood in that man’s face and pretended to care about his child when in truth he was the one responsible.
Bidziil was the first of my many targets within the NOFS. I already had several other members. Most of them reporting into Bidziil. I wanted leaders not followers and I intended to interrogate Bidziil. I was sure he could give me the names and locations of the other ringleaders. I found myself holding my breath as I watched Bidziil moves through his paces. Just as my informant promised Bidziil walked outside just a few minutes before sunrise and launched into training exercises.
He grunted kicked, punched and lifted weights. It was clear after the first thirty minutes that he had no idea anyone was watching him. After he went through what I assumed were his karate routine he lowered himself to the ground and began a deep breathing exercise.
Not wanting him to get a whiff of my scent I double checked the wind patterns. Once I was confident I was still upwind I relaxed and watched him twist his body into some yoga position then he closed his eyes and I assume started meditating. After a few minutes of watching I decided that this was as good an opportunity as I was going to get. So I lowered myself from the roof and slowly crept towards Bidziil.
Like Seraphina, Bidziil never had a chance to defend himself. I ripped his arm from the socket and beat him with the bloody stump. I took him into his dwelling and tied him to his bed. Then I started asking the questions that would bring me to the others.
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