by Risk, Mona
Later, alcohol had ravaged her liver, but Rose Hayes never forgave him for moving her to an assisted living residence. With desperate words of love and pathetic gifts, she noosed a rope of guilt around his heart. She’d never allow him to build a future that wouldn’t include her. He’d given up, and contented himself with a few innocent flirtations at the bars or the hospital.
The bathroom door opened.
He crossed his fingers behind this back. Lack of food and strong emotions could cause a girl to faint.
Roxanne held the tube to him. It took him one glance to read the result.
Pregnant.
Chapter Three
“Pregnant,” Greg repeated the single word. It sounded like a life sentence. For both of them.
Roxanne drew a deep breath and raised her head. “At least I know for sure now,” she said with a steady voice. Leaning on the bathroom door in a too-short nightgown—more like a long t-shirt—that revealed a gorgeous pair of thighs, she looked vulnerable, but way too attractive.
Smashing his lust with an iron will, Greg cupped her elbow and walked her to the bed. She slipped under the cover and he plumped the pillows behind her head. He brought her a glass of water and put a pill in her hand. “Swallow this. A pill of Zofran to quiet the nausea.” She obeyed the doctor’s order. “Here’s a chocolate and cookies I had in my backpack. From now on, you need to eat light portions every two hours.”
The chocolate smell seemed to whet her appetite. She nodded and munched on a bar. “Delicious. Thank you. For this and for everything.” She didn’t hiccup, didn’t press a palm on her mouth or rub her belly. At least her stomach agreed with her sweet treat.
“How are you feeling now?”
“ Better, although...” Worry etched lines around her eyes. Confused but trusting, and so incredibly beautiful. “There are too many things to sort out, decisions to make.”
“About the baby?” He pinned her with a questioning gaze. Would she think about abortion?
“The baby is the only good thing,” she answered without hesitation. “We’ll live for each other.” She cradled her belly with a typical motherly gesture.
He released the breath he’d been holding. He was an obstetrician who loved bringing babies into the world.
He sat beside her on the bed and crossed his arms. “Where’s the father?” He wasn’t walking on eggshell around her anymore. He needed to know the truth to be able to help.
A torrent of tears gushed over her face.
Dread crawled up his spine. Had the man hurt her? Greg had heard so many stories of abuse at the Women’s Clinic.
“He di... died in...in an explosion. A suicide bomber...Baghdad,” she managed to stutter.
“Oh my God, Roxy. I’m so sorry.” Greg gathered her in his arms and stroked her back. Her silken curls tickled his neck and her lingering perfume teased his senses. She burrowed her head against his shoulder and thoroughly wet his shirt.
“Also... also...” She hiccupped between sobs. “His brother too.”
“His brother? He died too?” That was even worse than anything he’d imagined. “Were they together?”
She shifted in his arms and bobbed her head. “Blast...took both. Horrible. Poor parents.”
So she knew his parents? Was he a fiancé? No one had mentioned Roxanne was engaged. More like a serious boyfriend, one she met abroad. Greg had completely misjudged the situation. From now on, he’d stop making assumptions until he gathered all the facts.
He held and rocked her, caressed her hair and brushed soothing kisses on her forehead.
Finally her sobs subsided. He eased away and handed her a box of tissues.
“And now...” After blowing her nose and wiping her eyes, she opened her hands. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” he gently suggested, although the story of her relationship with another was the last thing he wanted to hear. “It may help to share your sorrow. How did you meet him?”
“It started six months ago.” She folded her fingers over the sheet and wrinkled the cotton. “I was in Baghdad covering the latest development there. I got cornered in a narrow street by two ruffians. I ran and screamed. An Iraqi officer heard me and rushed to rescue me. He beat them to a pulp.”
“You were lucky he came in time,” Greg commented, resigned to hear her boast of the brave actions of another man. An honorable one, a hero maybe.
“Very lucky.” Her voice steadied as she held his gaze and continued. “Nabil Diab took me to his apartment and introduced me to his parents. A Christian minority family. His mother made coffee and insisted I stayed for lunch. It was a shabby place, but I could see the remnants of a wealthy past. His father and sister talked about their wretched life. They asked me to inform the world about the situation in Iraq. I wrote several columns and reported for KNR.” She was calmer as if talking about the past had soothed her.
“So far a professional relationship?” Greg studied the blinking of her eyes and light twitching of her lips.
“A platonic relationship. We exchanged emails when I was in the States and I often called him on his phone. When I returned to Baghdad, we spent time together, with his parents, or walking through the streets around my hotel.” She stared straight ahead, recalling her sad romance. “He was handsome and energetic. A decorated officer so confident and patriotic. Very different from the guys I knew back home.”
“Huh?” Did she bunch him with the guys back home? Greg’s impassivity deserted him. Jealousy pinched his guts. He tried to smother it and concentrate on her story. “And then?”
“He said he loved me and wanted to marry me. His background and deep religious feelings didn’t allow pre-marital sex. I was impressed by his dignity and admired him a lot.” She lowered her head.
His back rigid, Greg studied her and carefully controlled his own expressions. He didn’t dare ask if she loved Nabil, although his insides gnawed in frustration.
“On my last trip there, we kissed a few times behind the stairs of his apartment building. There was no privacy. We went to my hotel room to chat. I was leaving the next day and he was going back to his post. The temptation was too strong.” She blushed and lowered her head, not going into details Greg didn’t want to hear. “Then he apologized, ashamed he’d dishonored me. As if I cared,” she added with a shrug.
“Did you two get engaged?”
She shook her head. “No. I thought it was too soon. We didn’t know each other well enough,” she explained, too reasonably.
Her rational behavior stunned Greg. After a blissful night with a man she’d cared for, he’d expect a woman to declare her undying love for him.
In spite of the drama she now faced, a satisfied peace filled him. The dead officer hadn’t been a beloved fiancé whom she’d mourn forever. Although the man left her with child and unintentionally made sure, she could never wipe his memory from her mind. Or from any other man’s.
“You went home the next day.” Greg wanted her to keep sharing her sorrow.
“Yes.” Her lips drew into a poignant line. “But the unexpected happened. I told him I might be pregnant and I booked an appointment with a doctor for after the holidays. Nabil went into a frenzy of orders. I should present my resignation right away and come back to Baghdad. We’d marry before anyone discovered the truth. His father would disown him if he heard he conceived a child out of wedlock. Besides, his son had to be born on his ancestors’ land. These things are important over there.”
Greg had trouble picturing the strong-headed Roxanne in a country where men controlled their households. “Different culture.”
“Very.” She huffed. “Nabil insisted we’d live with his parents. I was stunned and protested.” She wrinkled the sheet, staring far away. “He tried to appease me and promised that we’d move to the U.S. when the war was over.”
“So how did you answer?” Had she decided to dump him? Or had he changed his mind? Greg’s hospital stories didn’t
compare to this war drama.
“It was a cold shower for me. I pondered his demands for a few days. I may be expecting his baby, but...” Her voice quivered. “To leave my job, my family, my country, my whole life, and go live with his parents in an apartment in a war zone. No way. I just couldn’t do it.”
“And?” Greg prompted. At least she had the good sense to analyze the situation realistically.
“I couldn’t persuade him to come here. He begged me to understand he couldn’t abandon his post or betray his family principles by announcing a child before the marriage vows. Our discussion turned bitter. Our first and last argument.”
Greg observed her, afraid to say a wrong word. He’d let her vent as much as she needed to.
She dropped her head between her hands and wailed, “God, I wish I’d been more understanding. I tried calling him again two days later. He wouldn’t answer his phone all day.” She raised her head. Silent tears rolled down her face. “Yesterday morning I received an email from his sister Leila announcing the tragedy.”
“Only yesterday? No wonder you were devastated and couldn’t come to the wedding rehearsal.” To think she had to lead the nuptial cortege to the altar when she’d just learned the father of her child had died. A wave of compassion swamped him. He wiped her eyes and her cheeks with a tissue. “I’m glad you trusted me and confided your secret.” He couldn’t believe they’d met only a few hours ago. So much bonded them already. “You can count on me.”
“Thank you.” She gave him a little smile that warmed him all over. Her gaze lowered and she patted her belly. “I hope you’ll be my obstetrician. I need a good one.”
“Of course. Are you worried about raising a child alone?”
“Not at all.” She lifted her chin. “I make a good living and will have no problem supporting my kid.”
“What about your job, your trips abroad?”
“I’ll cut down on the traveling. If I have to go I’ll take him with me with a nanny, or if the place isn’t safe, I’ll leave him with Mom. She’s so good with children. But...” she averted her gaze.
She had it all figured out. So why was she anxious? He raised his eyebrows. She answered his silent question.
“I’m so sorry, so sad. Nabil died after...after we argued. If I hadn’t upset him, he might have been more alert.” Guilt ravaged her beautiful features. “In a way, it’s my fault—”
“No,” Greg said in a forceful tone to convince her. “Don’t ever think it. You were entitled to your opinion. It’s not your fault that he died. He was killed by a terrorist. And his bother too.”
She winced and sniffled. “But you see, I owe him. I never said goodbye. I hung up on him and he died after that.” She laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. “How can I ever forgive myself? I must make amends.”
“Stop it, Roxanne. You’re going to make yourself sick with this guilt. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with his death.” He caught her hands to stop them from crushing the sheet. She’d lamented about guilt and duty. What about love?
Had she loved Nabil? She’d been ready to marry him if he’d agreed to come to the U.S.
“He wanted his son to be born on his ancestors’ land.” She bit her lip.
“As your doctor, I’d say, out of the question. Too dangerous. Can you imagine having a baby in a war zone? Do they have enough doctors?”
“No. And even fewer nurses,” she added with a sigh.
“Besides, you said the young man didn’t want his parents to know that...that...” Damn it, Greg would rather not talk about it. He couldn’t get himself to say Nabil’s name either, as though it could make the deceased more significant to Roxanne and raise a wall between her and Greg.
“This is my big dilemma. To deprive his parents of their grandson after they lost their own two sons. Or to destroy Nabil’s honorable name by revealing that...that...we gave in to temptation.”
Finally Greg realized the depth of the conflict that had been eating at her all day, in addition to losing a man she may have loved. But he’d do his utmost to prevent her from going back into a dangerous country.
“They don’t have other grandchildren?”
“Only one. His brother, Tarek, had a one-year old boy. Michael, an adorable chubby toddler. He used to sit on my lap. I always brought him candies and toys when I visited.”
“The brother and his family also live with the parents?”
Roxanne shook her head, her face a mask of dejection. “Tarek’s wife died shortly after her son’s birth. The grandmother took care of the baby.”
Usually, Greg would do his best to reassure his patients. But Roxanne was far from being an ordinary patient. “This alone should convince you not to go. You’d risk your baby’s life and yours.”
“Don’t say that.”
“What else can I say? You know the area and its dangers better than I do. Think carefully before making such a crucial decision.” They stared at each other silently.
His cell phone rang, interrupting their conversation. “Dr. Hayes, speaking.”
“Greg, it’s Nick. The wedding reception has ended. We’re about to retire for the night. There’s a snow storm outside. We don’t want Mrs. Ramsay and Roxanne to go home in this weather. Is Roxy with you?”
“Yes, she’s with me.”
“Madelyn wants to talk to her.”
He handed her the phone. “Your sister.”
Roxanne listened then replied. “It was a lovely reception... A lot of fun... I just had cramps... Yes, like last night... I’m fine now. Really I am.”
Apparently Madelyn had been aware of her sister’s indisposition. Judging by Roxanne’s tone of voice, an argument had started between the young women.
“No way... Forget it... I can’t dump everything and go to Florida now... I know your condo is available... I’m not sick... Just a bit tired... Okay, okay... I’ll think about it. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. See you tomorrow.”
Roxanne cut the connection and scowled. “Madelyn is concerned about my health. Can you imagine? She’s suggesting, actually insisting, I should go to Fort Lauderdale and relax on the beach. Now of all times.”
“Excellent idea.” Bless you, Madelyn. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “It would help you physically and mentally to take a break. You’ll be away from the family and their questions. You’ll breathe some fresh air. And you’ll have plenty of time to ponder the situation and decide what to do.”
“Are you serious?” She squinted at him as if he’d lost his mind.
“Very serious. I’m driving back tomorrow after brunch. Come with me. We’ll talk more during the trip.” He smiled. “Not all women have an obstetrician keeping an eye on their health while they travel.”
She peered at him, then arched her eyebrows. “How come you’re driving? It’s a sixteen hour trip.”
Did she have to ask that question? Embarrassed, he averted his gaze. “I can’t fly.”
“Why?”
Oh dang. “I just can’t. I never fly.”
“Why?” Her eyes rounded. “Are you afraid?”
He stiffened. “Not exactly afraid, but—”
“A grownup man, a doctor afraid of flying. That is so sweet. One day, I’ll take you on a plane and help you forget your fear.”
Annoyed, he crossed his arms. “Well, will you come with me to Florida tomorrow?”
Her head tilted, she bit her lip and considered him for a moment.
“Yes. I’ll take a week off. Being on my own will do me a world of good.” She rubbed her stomach.
He wasn’t planning on leaving her on her own after hospital hours, but he kept his mouth shut. The important thing was to take her with him and make sure she wouldn’t jump on a plane and head to some God-forsaken country, out of guilt. He knew that treacherous feeling well enough. His mother handed it to him as generously as he distributed vitamins to his patients.
“Great. Tomorrow morning, you can pack before brunch. We’l
l leave right after.”
“I hope I’ll be able to decide if it’s better to go see the Diabs now, and tell them about the baby. Or stay here and wallow in regrets.”
Neither one. Greg wasn’t going to let her bemoan the past forever.
Chapter Four
“Celia, come back here, sweetie pie.” Roxanne ran after her niece who already paddled in the soft waves and scooped her up in her arms. Chubby arms folded around Roxanne’s neck. A fragrance of sunscreen and baby lotion fluttered her heart with a new emotion. One day soon, she’d have a similar darling to cuddle. She dropped noisy kisses on the little girl’s cheeks and received moist smooches and giggles in response.
Four weeks had already passed since the wedding. Roxanne didn’t regret coming with Greg to Fort Lauderdale. She’d spent many hours working on her laptop and emailing reports and articles to her boss.
Madelyn and Nick had returned from their honeymoon two days ago, picked up their daughters in Kentucky, and flown back to Fort Lauderdale the night before. While watching the girls play on the sand, Roxanne had related the whole situation to Madelyn.
“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry you had to go through all this heartache at my wedding.” Madelyn hugged her. “I noticed something was going wrong but I thought you had a stomach bug as you told us the night before.”
“Coming here with Greg has helped me a lot, physically and emotionally.” In between hours on her laptop or phone, Roxanne had lain on the beach and analyzed her circumstances. Or walked on the sand and remembered the past. Or shared a dinner with Greg and weighed the plusses and minuses, until a migraine developed.
“I can’t believe it will soon be Valentine’s Day. The stores are all decorated with hearts and pink ribbons. Our building is throwing a Valentine’s party,” Madelyn announced. “Will you be able to attend?”
“I don’t know if I’ll still be in Florida.”
“Wawa,” Celia wailed.
“Wawa, wawa,” her sister Liana echoed.
“If you want to play in the water, we’ll go to the pool.” Madelyn strapped her huge beach bag on her shoulder and gathered up Celia in her arms. “I’m glad I’m off today and tomorrow to spend time with the girls.”