by Mira Maxwell
I pull myself over the ledge like a kid getting out of the swimming pool. It’s a lot scarier when you’re among the clouds. I roll onto the outcropping and make for the cavern, eager for it’s protection. I crouch against the wall and follow the opening deeper into the mountain. It goes much deeper than I imagined and the thought of hiding out in here for a few moments is a welcome one.
I ease my pack off my shoulders and deposit it against a cave wall. It’s dim in here, even more so the further I venture into the cave, so I activate my headlamp. I was hoping for something magical, but it pretty much just looks like every mountain cave I’ve been in on earth: a roundish hole in the side of the mountain laced with snow, ice, and dark grey rock. I’m a little disappointed, but then a green glow catches my eye. I flip off my lamp to better pinpoint the source and I follow the ghostly aura deeper into the cave. The source glitters from behind the ice and snow like fucking kryptonite and I break into a full body shiver of excitement when I realize I’ve found what we’re looking for.
The last shot is wearing off and my legs tremble as I drag my axe closer to the emerald luminescence that will save Earth. I stab at the ice with my blade, chipping away the stale ice and frozen snow in giant chunks, until the Eclaydian is revealed to me in all its glory. It looks like stalks of lit up crystal and it immediately reminds me of the neon glow sticks we carried around on Halloween when I was little. A large patch of it is hiding in the wall. I’m not sure how much Mina needs to jump start our dying sun, but I don’t want to have to climb up here again, so I gently remove as many stalks as I can and pack them in my bag. I leave my tent and one set of ropes behind to make more room. It doesn’t bother me one bit – I’m giddy with excitement as I move to the rim of the cave. I’ll step onto this ledge, start my descent, and be back in time for dinner, I tell myself. I sit on the ledge, click my carabiner onto the rope I left in place, and prepare to head back.
A searing pain explodes through my shoulder as I push off. My first instinct is to hang on to the ledge, to stop myself from falling, but it’s not falling that I need to worry about. Something has me. It has me by the shoulder and it’s pulling me back inside the cave. I realize what a fool I’ve been. Just because the mountains of Earth are uninhabited at this elevation doesn’t mean the ones here are. I should never have assumed I was alone in the cave, and I wonder how long it was standing there, watching me from the dark.
I wonder what it is, but I can’t get a good look. Nothing humanoid, of that much I’m sure. It has the stink of a wild animal and it feels like a paw against my shoulder, not a hand. I reach over my head and claw at it, trying to free myself, and my fingertips brush against cold scales that feel like armor. I reach for my axe and a ferocious growl in my ear cautions me against it. But there’s nothing else for me to do, to protect myself. And, to be honest, I don’t really matter anymore. It’s not that I need to make it back down to the bottom of the mountain. It’s that my pack has to. If it’s my time to go and this wicked beast is the one to do the job, I guess I’ll have to accept that. But it’s not getting my pack.
I flip the axe up to my shoulders and slit the straps on my pack. I smack the beast behind me with the steel handle and it retreats for a moment. A moment is all I need. My pack drops to my feet and I slide it on the ice towards the ledge. It hovers for a second on the wintery ledge and I worry I haven’t given enough. It’s not going to go over. But then, mercifully, it tips over the edge and sails out of view.
I may not make it out of this mess, but Earth will. And that satisfies me. Then I think about everything I have to live for, and it pisses me off. The anger festers like a red hot charcoal in the pit of my stomach. I have fantastic crew mates who’ve become my best friends, a defining professional triumph, and the love of the most amazing warrior I’ve ever met. I’m not ready to check out yet.
I clench my ice axes and turn to face the creature that has momentarily retreated. I see its yellow eyes in the dark and the glint of the outside light on its metal fangs. I take a step towards it, ready to fuck it up, when I realize I see more than one set of eyes in the cave. More creep out of the darkness. The hair on the back of my neck stands straight up when I hear the click of claws on ice behind me on the ledge. The have me surrounded. No way out.
But maybe there is.
I’ve worked so hard to keep Mal out of my head, and to stay out of his, in the hopes it would slow the growing attraction between us. Now, for the first time, I pray it’s stronger than I imagined. He was inside me last night, and he said our bond was complete. There’s so much I wish I would have asked him. Am I too far away for it to work? Will it still work even though I’ve been pushing back against him, pushing back against the idea of us as mates? I open my mind and prepare to reach out to him, promising myself, silently, that if he hears me, I’ll stay with him on this planet forever. I’ll run away with him like Adox and Lavina and we’ll be happy together for the rest of our lives.
I can feel the creature behind me moving in. Feel it’s heat against my back. Feel the size of it blocking my only exit. But I don’t think about that. I focus on my mind. I’m going to scream, without making a single sound.
MALLYK HELP ME. PLEASE. THERE’S TOO MANY. THEY’RE TOO STRONG. I WAS A FOOL.
THIRTEEN
MALLYK
I WAKE IN A HAZE. I haven’t slept this late in years. A smile creeps across my face as memories from last night replay in my mind. The pleasure I experienced with her is like nothing in my life up to this point. I roll to my side and reach out for my mate, but she’s left the comfort of our bed. The sheets are cold where she was and I wonder how long ago she left me. I wish she were still here. She took all the warmth and light with her when she left and now the whole place just looks depressing. Small, dark, and dingy. It’s the room of a man who has nothing to live for, and I’m no longer that man. I have Diana. I have everything.
I no longer belong here, and I need to figure out how to navigate that truth. There’s no way I can hide the change it me. It’s like someone switched on a thousand watt light bulb inside my soul. My men will suspect. And I have no interest in deceiving them.
That doesn’t mean I’m ready to turn myself in for execution, either.
The penalty for love here is unforgiving and harsh. For the first time, I see the unfairness of it. Of punishing beings for doing what they were meant to do: fall in love and form bonds. And yet, I understand why the city sets the rules as they do. Our ranks have diminished over the years as fewer Attalans choose to join the guard. The city needs us for protection and they can’t afford any defections. I understand their need, but my own need for my precious mate is stronger, and I’ll no longer be denied.
I rise from my bed, throw on my clothes, and move for the door. Diana is just across the yard and my arms ache for her, but I need to be mindful of the men as well. I’ll break my fast with them before I visit the squat little building where the Earth women are bunking.
The air is crisp and I wrap my cloak around my shoulders. A group of warriors sit by the heat cube in the yard, perching on stumps of petrified wood from the ancient forest as they tell their tales and chew their dried meat. I join their group and the circle widens to admit me. Zaydn starts to stand and offer me his seat, but I motion for him to stay.
Kerryx hands me a hunk of dried meat as he finishes up his story. “And then I told him, you can keep your sawyir, but we’re taking the Arnav Koale with us.” The men roar with laughter. I join in, but my heart isn’t in it. It’s never imagined I’d be at such a crossroads in my life. And while my love for Diana is an amazing revelation that dwarfs everything in comparison, part of me grieves for the family I’ll be leaving behind: the brotherhood of the guard. Over the years we’ve forged strong bonds through training, battles, and blood. When I leave, presumably on the ship for Earth if Diana will have me, I’ll have to sneak away like the criminal I am. There’ll be no time for joyful reminiscence or heartfelt goodbyes.
The jol
t in my brain as Diana’s scream bursts into my head drops me to my knees. My food falls into the snow and I struggle to hang onto consciousness.
MALLYK HELP ME. PLEASE. THERE’S TOO MANY. THEY’RE TOO STRONG. I WAS A FOOL.
Her voice echoes through my mind at a thunderous volume. I see drops of red on the ground in front of me and realize my nose is bleeding. My men leap from their seats and gather around me. Their looks of concern crowd my field of vision as two warriors struggle to help me to my feet.
I have to make a decision, and I have to make it fast. I could pretend to have an injury and bide my time until I can leave camp unnoticed. By then, it could be too late. If I expose our relationship and save her, my life is forfeit. But without her, my life isn’t worth living.
It’s an easy decision.
“Diana’s in trouble.” I stagger to my feet and push their hands away. Their voices explode in a chorus around me. They have a million questions.
“What’s going on?”
“Is it something the city told you?”
“Where is she?”
“Commander, how can you know that?”
“She has called for my help. In my mind.” They look stunned as they process the implications of this. I decide there’s not point in trying to hide anything. “I have taken her as my mate.”
My declaration does nothing to ease the silence on my men. Their expressions range from shock to horrified disbelief. But no one makes a move towards me. I need to take advantage of how thrown they are to plead my case.
“She’s still alive, but I don’t have much time. I need to go to her in the mountains. I have to save her if I can.” I struggle to keep emotion out of my voice. “I promise to return to face my punishment as the elders have decreed. You have my word.” The words ring hollow after the willing betrayal of my oath to the guard, but no warrior challenges me or makes any move to restrain me. There’s no time to hesitate.
I burst from the outpost like a rock from a slingshot. I’m at the limit of my abilities, genetic enhancement or not, but I give everything I have. My legs ache and my lungs burn, but I don’t slow. She’s still alive; I can feel her distress and her determination to hang on for me. I use her thoughts as a beacon to locate her, to map her location in the immense terrain before me.
I slide on my spiked brass knuckles made of Attalan steel. A simple but effective weapon on the hands of someone with superhuman speed and strength. And they will aid my climb up the imposing wall of the ice mountain.
I barely slow when I reach the north face, scrambling up the sheer rock and ice slope in a desperate bid to save my love. I think of my cautious first climb from yesterday and I’m amazed at my improvement. Yesterday, I was afraid. Today, I’m no longer scared. I’m already dead - the men will see to it – but I can still save her. With nothing to lose, I leap up the mountain, driving steel spikes into the wall over and over again. Diana’s still there. Her fear is strong, but so is my love. I will save her.
I see the opening to the cave as I near and I know that’s where she is. I use my momentum and catapult into the cavern.
“Mal! Look out!” Her voice is like a sip of water for a man dying of thirst. I dispatch the beast that slinks up beside me with one slash of my deadly fist and race across the cave, to the one that has her pinned down and is hovering over her, mouth open. I grab its reptilian tail and pull, freeing her from its grasp. She rises to her feet, preparing to fight alongside of me despite the injuries she has suffered. My heart sinks when I see the jagged cuts she has sustained. She needs medical attention. Fast. More of the vile beasts spill from the depths of the mountain.
“Get to the entrance of the cave,” I order.
She retreats to the edge, ice axe raised in defiance of the predators. I fight them off until she’s at the lip of the mountain, but there are too many. When she’s in position, I make my move, sprinting for her with the last of my reserves. I wrap an arm around her as I leap from the hollow, carrying her with me as we fly from the mountain and grabbing her safety rope with my other hand.
I remember Diana telling me that falling was an essential skill for a mountain climber at her skill level. I struggle to do as she told me, to keep my body relaxed as we tear through the air. Just when I start to think I’ve made a tragic miscalculation, the rope catches, slamming us into the side of the mountain. I position myself to take the brunt of the impact and it’s punishing. The rock crushes my ribs and tears up my back. But I’ll survive. Now I just need to get us to the bottom.
“Hold onto me,” I instruct as I shift her onto my back. She wraps her arms around my neck, gripping me tightly. I use her ropes combined with the spikes still on my hands to quickly descend. It’s a miracle we make it to the bottom, but we do, collapsing next to each other in the snow. She rolls to her side to face me.
“You’re hurt,” she says as she studies me.
“I’ll heal quickly enough.” The bodily discomfort I feel is nothing. Diana is safe and nothing else matters. Although she does look a little worse for the wear herself. “You’re injured as well. I need to get you to the doctor.” I start to rise from the snow but her hand quiets me.
“You came for me.” She sounds amazed. Like she can’t believe what has happened.
“What else could I do? You are my mate. You are my love.” I hug her close and kiss her forehead.
“You fell down that mountain like a pro,” she says against my chest.
“I had a good teacher.” I rise to my feet with her cradled in my arms. She looks at me adoringly, until she notices her pack a few feet away in the snow.
“My pack!” She points to it and I scoop it up and throw it onto my back. It’s dirty and tattered and glowing green.
“Maybe it’s time to get a new one,” I say. “This one looks contaminated.”
She tips her face to mine and her expression is pure joy. “That glowing green stuff? It’s how we’re going to save Earth.”
FOURTEEN
MALLYK
I PUT on my ceremonial armor. It’s been years since I last wore it, and it required more than a little elbow grease to get it in pristine condition. The effort was worth it, I think as I look in the mirrored glass in my room.
I’ll be buried in it, if the men deem me worthy of proper Attalan ceremony, and I’d like to be sent to the afterlife looking my best.
I retrieve my medals and designations from their storage case and give them a quick shine before attaching them to my shoulder. I pull on my leather boots and lace them tightly and then I drape my cloak across my shoulders and close the fastener at my neck.
I look like the Commander of the guard. Not a man about to be executed for treason. But there’s nothing I can do about that. Radyr and Kerryx will arrive soon, so I sit down and wait.
They report for me promptly at dusk, and their adherence to proper procedure makes me proud. I’ve done well in my time as leader of the warrior. I dedicated my life to them, gave them everything I had, and taught them everything I know. I held nothing back and it was an honor.
I put my arms behind my back and turn so they can easily apply the restraints.
“That won’t be necessary, Commander,” says Radyr. “If you had a plan to flee, I assume you would have done it by now.” And he’s right. I had thought about Diana’s offer to run into the wild with me, as Adox and Lavina had done. But that would be a poor end for both of us. The damage to my reputation would be irreparable, and Diana would be damning her people to a cold death if she deserted. It was a fantasy from the beginning, and we both knew it.
I walk between them as they escort me into the courtyard and through the gate. I keep my head lifted high but my gaze is deliberately focused on nothing. I see nothing as they march me to my fate. While my face may be blank, my mind is not. Thoughts of Diana race through my mind, like a balm on a fresh wound. Her beauty, both in body and spirit. Her adventurous nature and her bravery. I told her she must stay behind, but I secretly hope she disobeys. To
have her there would be a kindness.
I don’t regret anything I’ve done. Finding my mate was the most miraculous accomplishment of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But I mourn for her. My attachment to her was much stronger, initially, but I believe she grew to return my feelings in our time together. The loss of one’s mate is a plague of the soul, and I hope she can keep our time together in her mind and recover quickly.
“Almost there, Commander.” I’m not sure where they’re leading me. Usually matters such as these are handled immediately outside the outpost walls, but they have led me into the icy slopes of the mountains. It matters not to me where the act is finished. I just appreciate the extra time to collect my thoughts.
They lead me into a cove where a small crowd gathers. For the first time in my life, my emotions get the better of me and I focus my gaze on the perfect snow at my feet. I feel she is there, with the others, but I worry that laying eyes on her one last time just might break my heart. I try to close my mind off to her, as I have been doing since we returned from the mountains, but she forces her way in.
“Look up, my love. Look up.”
I’m powerless to resist. I turn my face to the group gathered under the trees. The crowd parts around her; she steps forward in a beautiful white gown. I can tell it’s been constructed from castoffs contributed by my men. Old tunics and bed sheets bleached white from years of use, along with the sparkling white quilted fabric of her exploration suit. Her hair cascades down her shoulders in thick waves, and she wears a pair of sparkling gems on her ears. She pulls a thick fur cape around her shoulders for warmth, and smiles at me.