Soulless (The Immortal Gene Trilogy Book 1)

by Jacinta Maree

  “Nadia, come on. We gotta go.”

  I turned back when a click of snapping wire caused me to stop again. My ears strained, listening for the origin of the noise. “Do you hear that?”

  Joel, Phil and Justin eventually noticed we had stopped and slowed their climb into the office tower. “What are you doing? Come on!” they called.

  “Nadia? What…” Tristan suddenly went quiet. His breathing caught in his chest as his body clenched up in his sudden panic. With my vision distorted through the dirty lens, I whipped the gasmask down to see what was going on. From the hidden corners among the ruins, the pack of dogs stepped out into the clearing. Their lips were pulled back, their slim bodies cut and matted with ticks and open sores. I froze. Tristan froze. Even Phil, Joel and Justin froze from their position way at the front. The dogs circled us with their eyes narrowed and their ears pinned, the lust for fresh meat as thick as the drool that dropped from their gums.

  Without turning my head, I whispered to Tristan, “What do we do?”

  “Stay calm. I’m going to reach for my gun slowly.”

  “And what? Shoot them? There’s like eight dogs here,” I hissed. “By the time you fire, they would’ve ripped us to shreds.”

  “Do you have any better ideas?”

  I lingered on the thought but I couldn’t think of anything. My mind kept tracing back to their sharpened fangs and the ripples of their scrunched noses. “Okay…. Okay, on the count of three you shoot and we run.”

  “What about your leg?”

  I gripped my thigh over the stitching. “Unless you want to carry me, I don’t have much of a choice. Let’s just back away slowly.”

  We shuffled backward and reading our cowering body language, the dogs prowled closer. “Okay… one… two…”

  Gunfire ripped over our heads. Startled, I jerked my shoulders to my ears as the loud bang sent the frantic dogs into a charge. Tristan fumbled for his gun as we both turned and bolted. Phil had fired the shot, killing a dog that had snuck in behind Tristan and me to attack our turned backs. Tristan was faster than I was and took the lead quickly. My leg pained with every stride and I felt the stitches pull. The dogs caught up to my side quickly, their hot sloppy breaths skimmed my shins as they tried to pull me down.

  Tristan reached the incline first and scrambled up the rocks toward the others. Joel, Phil and Justin hesitated to shoot; the dogs were by our heels that they could easily hit us instead. From behind Tristan, another two dogs jumped out from the rubble, cutting me off.

  “Shit! Shit!” I took a sharp left and kept running.

  “No! Nadia!” Tristan glanced over his shoulder in time to watch me steer away, bringing the rest of the pack into the pits of the city. They snapped at my ankles and caught the hem of my pants, nearly causing me to trip. Thankfully, I managed to kick it off. I did my best to keep running as I bolted across the asphalt and into a partially collapsed multilevel parking building. “No! Don’t go in there! Stop!”

  More shots fired off, but the distance between the others and me grew greater. I hurdled over a collapsed beam and into the dark depths of the car park. It was wide and open; shafts of light spilled across the concrete as my shoe caught on the uneven ground and slammed me into the floor. I hit my chin hard, splitting my lip; blood spilled into my mouth. I scrambled onto my stomach and propelled myself away from the entrance. The dogs leapt up on top of the beam but didn’t go over it. They paced the beam in their annoyance, their teeth still bared and their growling non-stop, before they eventually leapt off. I stopped to watch them leave before glancing around myself. The air was thick with a yellow, heavy dust that left a metallic taste in my mouth. The exposed skin on my neck and face itched as every inhale sent sharp bursts down my throat and into my chest. My vision blurred and watered; every time I blinked, my retinas dried up.

  Within seconds, it became harder to breath, right up to the point I was clutching at my strained throat, trying to suck a breath in. I scrambled forward to get out of the dust but the pain anchored me to the ground. I collapsed to my stomach, gasping. Panic fired off in my mind, paralysing me. What’s happening? I sucked in more dry air but my lungs only tightened into my chest. I couldn’t breathe! I squirmed on my stomach, wiggling like a pathetic worm towards the exit. I can’t breathe! A hand grabbed me and flipped me over. The gasmask around my neck was forcibly shoved over my face. I took a long, gasping breath when I felt the cool touch of a gun to my temple.

  “What are you, stupid?” It was a woman’s voice. She spoke with a thick Japanese slur as she pushed her kneecaps into my stomach so I couldn’t squirm. “Don’t move.”

  Faster than I could comprehend, she jerked my collar down exposing my neck where she jabbed me with an injection gun. A heavy shock rocketed through me before she stepped off. I couldn’t see her face beneath the mask but the broach on her clothing sparked with familiarity. The chemical ran through my blood like shifting ice. Almost immediately, it soothed the spasms through my muscles and cooled the burning along my skin.

  “Unbelievable. What an idiot.” She seemed to lecture.

  Behind us, I heard shouting as footsteps hit the pavement followed by gunshots and yelping dogs. The woman pushed off me and used the distraction to disappear. I rolled over onto my stomach, stunned, before feeling around my neck where she had injected me.

  My skin felt smooth aside from a large pinprick. “Nadia? Nadia?”

  I jumped up at Tristan’s shouting and kicked off the ground. As I leapt back over the beam toward the open asphalt, I watched Tristan being pulled down by the attacking dogs. They were on him so fast that they blurred into one. As soon as Tristan fell, the dogs bit into his neck and closed in around his head. Justin, Joel and Phil were only a few steps away, firing into the ravaging pack but the dogs appeared oblivious to their gunshots. Driven by hunger, they kept biting down and thrashing their heads. I picked up a long, rusty bar and swung into their bodies. Mouths of blood turned and snapped at me, before they quickly realised they were fighting a losing battle. The remaining three dogs whimpered as they escaped into the ruins. Around them and leading up to the tower was the rest of their pack, five dead bodies sprawled across the dirt. Tristan had his hands to his face, cowering. There was so much blood; it ran the length of his arms and wept into thick, copper puddles beneath him.

  I dropped the bar immediately and ran to him, but Justin got there first. He pushed me back and pulled Tristan into his arms. “Help me carry him!” he shouted at Phil.

  Each pant that wheezed out of me felt strained. My mind spun, exhaustion dried up my throat as my vision blurred. I thought I was going to faint. The veil of blackness dotted over my vision and I froze where I slumped trying to regain my balance. Justin and Phil carried Tristan all the way back to the car. I followed a good few metres behind them, but my mind was scattered and my body weak. We struggled through the office building and made it to the car parked on the other side. I vaguely heard them screaming at me to hurry up, but my focus was like disturbed water, forever shifting and bouncing off the walls. Through pure force of will, I pulled myself onto the tray and collapsed. The car jerked forward and I vomited over the side.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:

  Tristan died before we made it back to town.

  The dogs had bitten through the main artery in his neck and he bled to death. Everyone blamed me. Hell, even I blamed me. The entire town wept as Barney carried his son to his grave. I had never seen someone cry over a death before; seeing death was such a common occurrence that I thought I was numbed to its effect. But with Tristan it was different. I cared about him. I cared more than I thought I did, and no amount of ‘I’m sorry’ could ease the guilt off of me. Part of me wished I had died too.

  On our arrival, I was near unconsciousness, but I could still remember the stale, copper smell that came from Tristan’s body. I was taken into emergency care where Diesel was and looked after for exhaustion. Not surprisingly, no one came to visit me, not even Mary.r />
  I spent most of my time beside Diesel, unsure where else I was meant to go. My acceptance in the town quickly disintegrated and their rejection tore me apart. It was my fault. It was because of me Tristan had died.

  Tristan’s funeral took the whole weekend with the entire town mourning. It wasn’t just the fact he had died; it was the fact they had lost a part of their family. Where and when Tristan was to be reborn was up to fate. I think what pained them the most was the unsure question if the Tristan they grew to love would be able to surface under the D400 drug. Or should I start calling it the XCELL drug now? Who would he become? Where would he wind up? Would he be able to make it back to Sanctuary? Every death introduced a new personality to the soul. Every death the mind became more crowded and confused, tipping the scale toward insanity until they become a nothing more than a drifter.

  Four days passed since Tristan’s death and I was hiding out in Diesel’s room at the hospital. The doctor gave him the antibiotics despite Justin’s verbal disagreement. He said we didn’t deserve treatment. He said because of us, Tristan had to go into the black market in the first place. The guilt strangled me with insomnia. I lost my appetite and the weight dropped off me fast. I focused all of my energy on Diesel. I watched him as though he was mine to protect.

  Diesel looked different as he slept, the terrors of his memories couldn’t scowl his face anymore as he appeared relaxed and sombre. He had his head turned toward the window, his mouth softly parted and his chest steady in his breathing. The long black strands of his hair were tossed to the side, sweat gluing it against his flushed, warm cheeks and sleeked against his head. A strict band tightened over my heart as I reached out my hand. In a gentle gesture I never knew I had, I laid my hand across his. I could almost picture him snapping his hand back out of habit, and it made me smile that he couldn’t pull away. I clasped his hand in mine and squeezed. His hands were rough, hardened by years of hard labour.

  “Diesel…” My voice trembled. “I need you to wake up.”

  He didn’t respond but still my breath caught in my throat as though disappointed. I folded my arms across Diesel’s chest and pressed my forehead gently against his body, feeling the healing warmth rise against my skin. I had never felt this close to him before, folding myself against his body so that I could hear the steady beat of his heart. Despite being so close to him, I still felt broken in two. Misery was a relentless ache that poisoned me, spreading a string of cold, dark thoughts throughout my body until I felt my will shatter beneath it.

  “Please wake up, I can’t be alone anymore!” I tightened my grip on his hand. “Please? Oh, please Diesel just wake up. I need to get out of here, I can’t stand it anymore. I feel like I’m suffocating.” As expected, he answered in steady low breaths. I gritted my teeth, biting back the swell of despair that sat at the back of my throat like phlegm. “I need you. I need you, Diesel, so please, don’t leave me in this hellhole alone.”

  I only ever left Diesel to sleep or bathe. My room was opposite his, but every night the small gap between our rooms felt like a rough current I fought to cross. Every time I went to close my eyes, Tristan was there. His final screams, the growl from the dogs, the smell and sight of his blood staining the earth, I felt paralysed to the moment, never able to change the memory. If only I had kicked the dogs off him before they opened his neck, or that I had stopped myself from turning around to check out the noise. If only I had done something. If only I could have stopped it. If only I could have saved him!

  But the harsh reality was, I couldn’t. I did nothing. Tristan was dead.

  I turned over facing the window, preparing myself for another sleepless night. As I stared mindlessly, I heard my door opened before a heavy weight climbed onto my bed. I spun around as the figure straddled me between their thighs and pinned me to the mattress.

  “What the hell?!” I went to kick upwards but quickly stopped myself. “Wait…D-Diesel? Is that you?”

  Diesel reached down and ran his hand against my cheek and across my head, knotting his fingers with my hair. I couldn’t see him very clearly, but I could catch the glint from the hallway light reflect in his half-lidded stare. Instantly, I held my breath as I propped myself up onto my elbows. His baggy pants bunched around my waistline and his shirt remained unbuttoned, opening up to his scarred chest.

  As I looked up at him, he seemed to watch me with a foreign longing. His breath came out in hot, short pants, his eyes intense as though obsessed with an unbearable urge. There was a mixture of lust and rage in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. I didn’t know what he was doing and before I could speak, Diesel pulled me up into a slouch and held me against his chest.

  I was speechless. Part of me expected him to be rough, but he was uncharacteristically tender. With both arms he squeezed me into his chest, smothering me in his heat. My ear was pressed against his torso, listening to his heart. It was beating really fast too.

  He then whispered, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

  Four simple words broke me. I clenched my jaw shut to stop the outburst, but like lifting the door to a floodgate, my emotions completely took over. I sucked in a loud breath, suddenly startled just how fast I lost control. I sobbed and hiccupped like a dribbling child but I couldn’t stop.

  “I killed him,” I mumbled. The confession surprised me as my voice trembled. “I killed him.”

  On the top of my head, I felt Diesel lean down and kiss me. At first he hesitated, but then became more determined as he tilted my head up to his.

  He kissed my eyebrows, my eyelids, my cheeks and nose. He trailed his mouth down my jaw, his shaky breath ripping into my world that I felt overwhelmed and overheated. My body reacted to his instantly, my muscles in my thighs, butt and stomach clenched as wave after wave of tingles pulsated up my spine. What is he doing to me? I had never felt this way before. My heart hammered loud and fast. I forgot how to breathe as my mind melted between each pull of his lips. My tears continued and he kissed them off and away from my cheeks, and with his controlled presence, a huge wave of relief filled me. His hands tightened around my head, not giving me an inch to turn away. With each passing moment his body hardened, fighting with himself to hold back.

  He pulled away abruptly, “If you don’t want this…”

  But I grabbed his collar, pulling him back in, “Shut up and don’t stop.” I did want this. I needed it.

  Diesel pushed me back into the soft concave of the pillow where he pinned me beneath the firm wall of his chest. He took my mouth into his with a raspy grunt and I almost gasped at the intrusion of his tongue running over my lip. All I could feel was the heat of his breath and the strength of his body press into me, burrowing me into the mattress.

  With both arms wrapped around my head, he bit and pulled on my lower lip, grunting into my mouth with sharp, moaning pants. I wasn’t a virgin, I had had sex before ages ago with just some kid in my class. But what was happening to me now, it wasn’t just a mindless act. I was being pulled along with him with every touch and tug. It shocked me. But I loved it. I wanted more.

  The moment I kissed him back, his body went into overdrive. I tried to roll on top but he wouldn’t allow it. He must’ve liked having me trapped beneath him, lying open so he could kiss and bite wherever he wanted.

  I dug my nails into his back, wanting to hurt him as he responded by parting my legs with his knee and pressing himself against my inner thighs. He then reached down and tilted my hips, opening my legs wider. Suddenly, I wasn’t Nadia anymore but someone else tangling my body with his. All of my self-awareness disappeared. I just wanted to be with him; that was all I cared about.

  I kicked my legs up and squeezed Diesel between my thighs. With my heels, I directed him to push harder against me. Without missing a beat, Diesel thrusted against me, and my toes curled in response. I grabbed and pulled on the back his hair as he let out a sudden hiss at my tug. He pulled on my clothes, desperately trying to tear them off.

  He forced my chin
to the side, opening up my neck where he bit hard, determined to mark me in some way. Pain shot through me that I almost screamed out. It was incredible. He was incredible. I couldn’t stop myself as I arched my back and trembled beneath him.

  “Oh, God keep going, Diesel!” I gasped when he suddenly stopped. As though I just pulled a knife to his throat, Diesel pulled away and detangled himself from my legs. He sat on the side of the bed, his face still flushed and his breath heavy. Utterly embarrassed, I pulled my legs to my chest and covered my face. “Did I do something wrong?”

  His voice shuddered with his exhale. “I can’t. I’m not Diesel.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “I’m sorry…” He then pushed off the bed and left.

  In his absence, my body cooled and my mind cleared. I slipped off the mattress, walked to my door and peered out toward his room. His door was closed and the light underneath turned off. I didn’t know how I felt as I lingered in the doorway, waiting for Diesel to emerge from behind the panel. When he didn’t, I went back to bed, pretending his rejection didn’t break my heart till the point I wished it would stop beating.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX:

  In a small way, I was thankful to Diesel for last night. He cleared my mind of Tristan and I was able to finally fall asleep. The following morning, I was forced awake by a stray shaft of sunlight hitting my face. It was already early afternoon and I heard a nurse speaking to Diesel across the hall. I kicked back the bed sheets and peeked out toward his room. Where I stood, I saw his door left ajar and a nurse taking down notes on a clipboard.

  “- I advise against walking around. You still need to rest.”