The gym that morning was full of rookies, amateurs, and pros. Tommy had secured the next round of fights, and his boys were all getting trained up—some for their debuts, others for the last fight they would ever have.
“Hey, Xander, you fightin’ that Mr. Pain-In-The-Ass tonight? I’m lookin’ forward to seein’ you send him back to Spitzer’s, cryin’ like a little baby.”
Xander nodded his head, opening up his locker. About to lock up his bag, Xander took out his phone.
Just text her and tell her about your fight tonight. Worst case is she’ll say no and tell you where to stick it. Best case is she says yes and actually shows up.
On second thought, Xander tossed his phone on top of his bag and closed the locker.
Chapter 29
Xander’s name roared through the speakers. Pulling the curtains back, he could see signs with his name on them and people standing to get a better look at ´The Beast.´
I’ll never get used to this.
He bowed his head to the fans lining the aisles. Tommy was waiting for him in the corner of the ring, and he could see Mr. Pain standing to the right, bouncing on his feet in anticipation.
Xander went from being awestruck by the show of support from his fans to feeling a violent resentment building as he looked at his competitor. They had been enemies since Xander first started at Tommy’s gym. Spitzer’s boys would show up from time to time just to stir the pot, leaving right before it boiled over and got them into any serious trouble. There was one exception, and that was the night when Xander was mugged by three of Spitzer’s guys on his walk home. Xander hadn’t seen his mugger’s faces, but heard a few of their voices and swore one of them was the man now standing less than ten feet in front of him.
The referee gathered ‘The Beast’ and ‘Mr. Pain’ in the middle of the ring, commencing Round One with a ‘sportsmanlike’ fist bump and an obligatory reading of the rules. Xander stared directly into his opponent’s eyes, channeling the fury and hatred within himself.
Two rounds passed.
“I’m sick of seeing this guys’ ugly face, Tommy.” Xander said as he took out his mouth guard and drank the water Tommy was holding up to him.
“I know you are, but be smart about this fight, kid. Don’t let your emotions get in the way. You may want to see a bloodbath, but the fans and scouts will want to see a clean, skilled fighter.”
The bell rang and Xander stood up.
“I don’t care what the fans want Tommy, this guy needs a good beating.”
Mr. Pain was being thrown around the ring.
This ain’t fun if there’s only one player.
Giving the other fighter room to get himself together, Xander stood back and watched as Mr. Pain swayed left to right, his eyes rolling around in their sockets as he tried to focus on where Xander was standing.
What a little girl. Xander thought to himself, standing back and looking at his competitor. He rubbed his eyes and pretended to cry like a child. He saw audience members laughing at him and booing at Mr. Pain while they shook their signs, cheering Xander on.
Not what the fans want to see huh, Tommy?
A woman sitting in the front row stood up and swept popcorn crumbs from her chair. She gathered her long, brown hair to one side and lovingly swatted her friend’s hand away from touching her behind.
Xander squinted.
Molly?
Xander felt a blow to the side of his head. Mr. Pain had moved too quickly for Xander to register and react.
What the hell?
His fury was now as red as the blood dripping down his right cheek, and Xander wiped it away on his shorts before looking up at Mr. Pain who resembled an angry bull, breathing heavily through his nose. Xander was now the one who had been made a fool of, and he looked up to see Mr. Pain waiting with his arms outstretched.
“Come at me now, Beast.”
When Xander would later describe the last part of the fight, he often said it was like he ‘blacked out’ and ‘his body just took over.’
He remembered running right at Mr. Pain, throwing his fists left and right with wild abandon. One punch to the head would have sufficed, but Xander couldn’t stop himself. Blood was coming from Mr. Pain’s forehead, nose, and mouth as the blows rained down over his head. Xander paused for a moment, looking Mr. Pain up and down, before one final hit knocked the man out cold.
The referee didn’t notice at first that Mr. Pain had been lying on the ground motionless. In the articles that followed he made sure to mention that it looked like he had just fallen to the ground under the immense beating he had taken—an attempt to cover his own ass. Xander however, knew that Mr. Pain was knocked out the second he hit the ground.
Xander was angry at himself for being distracted yet again by some girl he had thought was Molly, and was shocked at how severely it had interfered with his fighting. Jumping onto his unmoving body, Xander proceeded to strike Mr. Pain. Blood pooled to the surface of his skin wherever Xander’s fists landed. Finally, the referee knelt to the ground and called the fight, holding Xander’s hand high into the air.
There were mixed feelings about Xander’s win, and the sounds from the crowd reflected the controversy that would arise from this fight. Looking around the stadium, Xander saw people covering their mouths in disbelief, some even shielding their eyes. Others, mostly the very type of guys Xander disliked, were standing out of their seats throwing fists in the air and chanting “Beast, Beast, Beast.”
Tommy had walked out of the ring and disappeared into Xander’s locker room. Johnny escorted Xander to the back, not saying much about what just happened.
“You really let him have it, Xander.”
Johnny opened the locker room door and then shut it behind him, letting Xander and Tommy speak privately. Tommy was sitting on a bench, visibly fuming.
“What the hell was that, Xander? What were you thinking? You nearly beat him to death! I knew you hated the guy, but I didn’t think you would try and kill the poor asshole. They call you ‘The Beast’ because you’re like an animal out there, not because you actually are one, Xander. Jesus Christ.”
Now that the fighting was over, Xander was coming down hard from the adrenaline. He thumped down beside Tommy onto the bench.
“I can’t explain it, T. It felt like I had no control over my own hands, or any part of my body. It was like seeing his face brought out the evil in me. I just wanted to see him hurt, you know? It won’t happen again. I don’t want to be that kind of fighter.”
Tommy turned to look Xander directly in his eyes.
“You’ll be lucky if you’re any kind of fighter after that show you just put on, Xander. Your fans and the press are too in love with you to see through what just happened out there, but I know the danger of putting someone with that kind of instability into the ring again. I won’t have that kind of fire on my hands, Xander.”
Tommy packed up his briefcase and left Xander to contemplate his future as a competitive fighter.
“I’ll call you in the morning, Xander. Go home and get some rest.”
Xander knew that Tommy wasn’t being unreasonable. He knew he was out of control fighting Mr. Pain. It was as if a poison had taken over his whole body—a toxin that had made him merciless and unforgiving. But there was another aspect to his total lack of sanity in the ring that made him feel even less self-assured. Thinking he saw Molly in the audience almost cost him his career. He had become obsessive in his thoughts of her, seeing her face everywhere he went, and now that he seriously considered it, imagining she would actually attend his fights after how he had treated her was completely ridiculous.
This had to end.
Chapter 30
Molly was freaking out, pacing back and forth in their apartment. Elodie had been trying to calm her down for the last hour, but so far wasn’t having much success. She tried making her breakfast, but Molly couldn’t eat a single bite. Elodie was now on her laptop, searching possible reasons for late menstruation.
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“Elodie, I know my body. I’m never late like this.”
Molly was holding her phone. She punched in the number to her doctor’s office, but had yet to call.
“Mol, it’s probably just the stress from our jobs. We deal with some pretty crazy shit at Tiny’s—and it’s a known fact that stress can do a number on your body. Periods are weird, they can show up at different times for different women.”
Molly was becoming irritated with Elodie’s attempts to remain levelheaded.
“Elodie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but my job did not cause this. How stupid could I be? I didn’t even check to make sure Xander had put the condom on properly. I know what this is.”
Molly pressed the green button on her screen and put her phone to her ear. It rang for what felt like minutes before going to voicemail.
“No one is answering, El!” Molly threw her phone onto her bed, forgetting to even hang up.
Elodie looked at Molly’s phone and pressed the red button.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do, Molly.”
Chapter 31
Molly and Elodie walked into the pharmacy. Despite the current heat wave, Molly had put on her college sweater and fastened the hood around her head.
“You can take off your sunglasses now.”
Elodie couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s undercover get-up. Molly removed her sunglasses, tucking them into her sweater pocket.
“I don’t want anyone to see me buying a pregnancy test. People are so judgmental.”
Elodie grabbed a test kit off of the shelf in front of her and handed it to Molly.
“No one is going to judge you as harshly as you’ve been judging yourself.”
Except maybe my parents, my coworkers, Xander ...
“Grab a few more, El. I want to make sure it’s as accurate as possible.”
Molly thought of what she would tell Xander if she was in fact pregnant.
“Oh my God, El, what am I going to say to Xander?”
Elodie took out her wallet to pay for the pregnancy tests. Molly didn’t want the transaction to show on her bank statement, since her Mother still had access to her account, so Elodie had offered to pay instead.
“Xander who? I don’t know who you’re talking about, Molly, but I know for a fact people will go crazy knowing there’s a walking, talking Virgin Mary right here in Texas.”
Elodie was trying to lighten the mood, but to no avail.
“We both know if there’s any father at all, it is Xander. But after how he treated me, even if I thought the sun shined out his ass, I could never take him back.”
“Come on, Mol. Don’t even think about Xander. We don’t know for sure yet if you’re pregnant, and if you are then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.”
The two girls walked out of the pharmacy and Molly quickly put the pregnancy kits into her purse.
“I can’t wait until we get home to see. Can we just go into this fast-food place on the corner?”
Molly and Elodie walked in and asked the cashier for a key to the washroom. The cashier was reluctant, vaguely motioning toward the sign that read, “Washrooms for Customers ONLY.”
“Okay, we’ll have a large pop too, then.”
Elodie turned to Molly and whispered, “That’ll be good for you anyway, something to make you pee.”
Molly opened the door to the washroom and put the toilet lid down so she could sit.
“Okay, down this Mol. Remember how I showed you to chug? Do that.”
Molly pulled the lid off the pop and tipped the drink up to her mouth. Gulping as much as she could, she handed the rest back to Elodie.
“Okay, I’m going to open the kit, you sit on the toilet and focus on peeing. But not yet! Wait until I hand you the stick, and then pee on that.”
Molly pulled down her pants and sat on the toilet.
This is absolutely crazy. Who would have thought I’d be sitting in a fast food joint, peeing on a stick to see if I’m carrying some one night stand’s child?
Elodie opened the first box and handed Molly the stick, reading the instructions to make sure they were doing it right.
A minute passed. Molly and Elodie stood over the sink, waiting for the stick to turn positive or negative.
“This is going to kill me, El. I can’t wait any longer!”
Molly picked up the stick and shook it.
“No, just wait.”
Elodie lowered Molly’s hand and took the stick from her. The tip began to turn a pastel shade of pink.
“See El, I knew it wasn’t just stress.”
Elodie rummaged in Molly’s purse and took out the second pregnancy test.
“Let’s try this one just to make sure.”
Molly finished off the last of her drink and waited.
“Nothing yet?” Elodie asked, eager to see what the next results would be.
“El, I can’t pee on command, and you’re definitely not making it any easier standing there staring at me.”
“Should I wait outside until you’re done, Mol?”
“I’m sorry, but maybe that would be for the best. I just want this to be over with.”
Elodie stepped out of the bathroom and waited on the other side of the door. Minutes passed before she knocked.
“Are you okay? Can I come in?”
Molly pulled up her pants and walked to the door. Opening it to let Elodie in, she showed her the second test.
Two plus signs. Molly was pregnant.
Chapter 32
Molly called in sick to work, coming up with an ambiguous illness. Her boss seemed apprehensive at first, but Elodie came on to the phone and offered to take over Molly’s shift.
Only having waitressed once, Elodie was a little nervous leaving the house.
“You’ll do fine. Just smile and try not to swear as much as you normally do. The customers will love you and if anything goes wrong just give me a call. I really owe you one, El.”
The whole afternoon Molly laid in her bed reading books online about how to best raise a child as a single parent. Everything she had seen so far alluded to the societal reality that having two parents was better than one.
Unless the other parent is a total loser.
Molly’s phone rang and Elodie’s face popped onto Molly’s screen.
“Hey, El, something wrong?”
Molly had a feeling that her friend would have a hard time handling the suppertime rush. Elodie always teased Molly about how her job was so much harder than Molly’s, but today would be the tell all.
“No, it’s all good over here. Jim just came in with some more flyers. There’s a fight tonight at the gym down the road and I think it’d be the perfect opportunity to go and speak to Xander. To tell him what happened, yeah?”
Molly thought about what Xander’s reaction might be. If it was anything like the last time Molly had seen him fight, she was scared to even mention anything about this new development.
“I don’t know about talking to Xander when he’s about to fight someone. Doesn’t that seem a little like bad timing?”
Molly’s phone beeped.
“Check your texts. I gotta go, these customers are giving me some serious side-eye.”
Elodie hung up. Molly looked at her messages and saw that Elodie had sent her a photo. It was a flyer for the fight. In the picture stood two men Molly didn’t recognize.
Molly texted Elodie back.
M: Xander’s not fighting. Y go?
E: Johnny is. BFF. X will be in crowd. Perfect time to tell him.
With hours left until the fight, Molly decided to take a walk around her neighborhood in an effort to clear her head. She walked through the streets around campus, one hand resting on her stomach and the other hanging limply on one side. How could this happen, didn’t we use protection? Such a simple thought now, but at the time they had begun making love, both were apparently too impaired or aroused to actually put it into action. Now here she was,
walking alone with a tiny human growing inside of her and no help in sight. Molly caught her own reflection in a shop window, and moved her body to the side to see if there was already a bump forming. As she looked at her stomach, she was carried away by the thoughts that were racing through her head. She continued her walk.
I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m too young, too inexperienced, and babies cost so much money, how will I ever afford it? I can’t go to Mom and Dad for help. I—oh God, what will my parents say? Will they be happy? Will they be mad? Of course they’ll be so disappointed, especially after they worked so hard to get me here. They both worked every single day, either teaching or tutoring. They saved, scrounged and never took vacations or even sick days, all so I could attend this university. And now what? Will I have to drop out? I’ll never become the person I wanted to be! How stupid could I have been?
Molly arrived at the park, and visibly troubled, sat on the side of the fountain and placed her head in her hands.
What kind of mother could I possibly be, anyway? Someone who only stresses out about her own selfish needs? I suppose I could look at my options. It’s not too late to get an ab—NO! Molly, come on, don’t even think about that. There are a lot of people out there that want to adopt a baby. Nice people, friendly people who have struggled to have their own and couldn’t. People who would gladly take care of this baby. But could I really live my life knowing there’s a little boy or girl out there who would never meet his or her birth mother? How could I even think about giving away a piece of me… a piece of him?
Molly rose, wiping the tears from her face. She saw a playground a little bit further down the path and walked toward it. A young girl was on a swing as her mother pushed her and a little boy slid down the tallest slide in the park on his mom’s lap. She knew in her heart that she needed to raise this child.
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