Xander had to roll down the window in case he vomited again. Hearing Tommy tell him how he’d acted made him feel sick and ashamed.
It doesn’t even feel like it’s me that he’s talking about. It’s like a story that he’s telling about some other dude.
“He jumped over the bar and you two started goin’ at it. Fists flying and legs kicking—the whole deal. But somewhere in there, you decided that it wasn’t gonna be a clean fight. The bartender told the cops that you took a beer bottle from the table and smashed it on the counter. You threatened the other guy with it, Xander. I don’t know if you would have actually tried to stab him with it, but you swung it around enough times to frighten the shit out of him, and yourself apparently. When you realized how far you’d gone, people saw you run out of the bar and get into your vehicle. The cops pulled you over when they caught you swerving down the highway.”
Xander couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Tommy c’mon, someone must have drugged me or something. I would never do something like that, even if I was piss-wasted. I’ve been absolutely shit-faced before and I’ve never even come close to smashing a bottle and threatening to stab some random dude. The girl thing, I’ve probably done something like that, but not this Tommy. You gotta believe me, I’m not at fault here.”
The driver stopped outside of Xander’s condo, lowering the divider so he could tell them they had arrived.
“Thank you, Jared, we’ll need some more time.” Tommy turned to face Xander.
He looks so disconnected. Like it’s not even hurting him to say all of this. He doesn’t care.
“The boys at Street G don’t care if you were at fault or not, Xander. Your name is attached to these crimes and it’s gonna be all over the newspapers. They don’t want bad press, let alone to be sponsoring a loose cannon. How famous you are, how much money you have or how many fights you win doesn’t matter a lick when you’re getting DUI’s and cracking skulls at the local bars. We’re through, Xander. It’s over.”
Tommy leaned across Xander and opened his door.
“What, so you’re just gonna drop me off? After all the shit we’ve been through and all the money I’ve made you? You ungrateful son of a bitch. You wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for me, Tommy. Instead of having a driver, you’d be the one driving and eating scraps back in your muggy office in Texas. This ain’t over for me. But it is for you.”
Tommy pursed his lips and looked at Xander.
“I’m sorry, kid. I really am. I wish you hadn’t gone and screwed it all up, but you did. This was a ticking time bomb from the start. I should have known.”
The pain in Xander’s body no longer mattered. He stood up and got out of the vehicle, then slammed the door behind him. Tommy stuck his head out of the window and called to Xander as he was walking away.
“And Xander? When the press asks about me, don’t mention I knew about the steroid use. I’ll deny it and well, who do you think they’ll believe? Some drunk asshole fighter, or a millionaire without a scratch on his record? See ya around, kid.”
Chapter 57
Back in his room, Xander waded through broken glass and pillow feathers lining the floor. His anger at Tommy and Street G boiled over into an uncontainable rage, and the furniture and pictures had taken the brunt.
Exhausted, Xander plunked himself down onto the couch and began to cry. He hadn’t cried since he was a little boy—after seeing his mom passed out on the kitchen floor, unresponsive and foaming at the mouth.
What is wrong with you, Xander? Everything you love—you just burn it to the ground. Every time. Tommy’s right, they don’t care if I was drugged or not, they just want someone who is going to make them the most money and cause the least amount of problems. I’m a screw up and now everyone will know it. Tommy’s right… it’s over… I’m done.
Xander imagined what his life would be like in L.A. now. With everyone knowing what he’d done, there was no denying that people would treat him differently. No more free drinks and props at the grocery store. No more signing autographs and shaking hands with devoted fans. He would become a nobody—just a washed up drunk who was once a great fighter.
I’ll just give them what they want and go back to Texas. I’ll pay for my crimes and then I’ll leave and go back home to Winnie and Johnny.
Thinking about what he would do when he was back in Texas, Xander came to the realization that he wouldn’t be welcome back at his home gym. Without fighting, what was there?
No, I’m done with fighting. Screw Tommy and screw fighting. I’ll find something new. Something better.
Xander got off of the couch and crossed the room to where he had left his gym bag. He removed his competition shorts, wraps, and mouth guard and took them over to the kitchen. Opening the cupboard under the sink, Xander bent down and tossed his fighting gear into the garbage bin.
On the counter beside the sink, Xander had left his citation papers flipped open to the second page. The first line read: ‘On the count of Drinking while Under the Influence of Intoxicants, Assault, Damage of Property, and Resisting Arrest. Bail is set at $300 000 USD.’
Xander got out his phone from the plastic bag and checked his bank account. That’s less than half of what I have if I count my total assets. I could pay this thing and then forget about it.
At first Xander considered how it might look to his followers if he left L.A. Would they think he was running away?A coward for not staying and facing the consequences? Using his money to get himself out of trouble? It doesn’t matter. I’m going home. Don’t look back, look forward. They can say what they wanna say, but I know who I am and this ain’t me.
Xander opened the web browser on his phone and clicked on a link for flights. One way ticket home.
He chose to leave in a week. That’ll give me time to get everything in order here and let Johnny and Winnie know what I’m doing.
Limping over to his fireplace mantle, Xander grabbed the only framed photograph he hadn’t shattered. It was the photo of his parents on their trip in Mexico, the one Winnie had reframed for him.
“You never had the chance to turn it all around, but I can.”
Xander hobbled over to his bedside and placed the photo into his now empty gym bag.
“Let’s go home.”
Chapter 58
“We have arrived at your final destination. The time is 11:05 am and the outside temperature is 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit. It was a pleasure to be your captain on this flight—from all of our crew members, thank you for flying with Air Right.”
Xander took off his eye mask and undid his seat belt. The arid Texan landscape reminded him of the smells and sounds of the home he had missed so much. I didn’t realize I would be so happy to be here again.
A slender, doe-eyed stewardess was in the aisle beside Xander.
“Hello, Mr. Delgado. We have instructions to assist you and your things off of the plane. If you can come with us, we’ll be happy to help you avoid the long line of people waiting to exit.”
Xander was escorted off of the plane and rushed through security before anyone else even left their seats. I guess word hasn’t made it back here yet.
Waiting on the other side of the gate, Xander spotted Johnny standing in the front of the crowd, holding up a bright pink, flowery sign that said, ‘Welcome Home Baby!’
Xander couldn’t help but laugh, pushing the looming conversation he would have to have with Johnny out of his mind.
The glass doors opened and Xander limped over to Johnny, dropping his bags and giving his best friend a hug.
“You look like a pile of crap, but, man, it’s good to see you, Xander.”
Johnny patted Xander on the back, and took a small package out of his satchel.
“I got this for you. A welcome home present, or whatever. It’s nothin’ big, but you said you needed a new one.”
Xander opened the gift box and inside there was a brand new watch. During the incident in L.A., he had som
ehow broken his in the bar fight.
“Yeah, that’s a story for later. Thanks, Johnny, I’ll take good care of it.”
Johnny picked up Xander’s bags for him and began walking to the car park.
“I can carry those dude, you don’t have to.”
“You have two wrapped hands, Xander, plus you’re limping like an old guy. I think I can manage.”
Over the last week, Xander had dealt with the inevitable end of his career, but Johnny finding out was like opening an old wound, and he would have to relive his mistake all over again. Xander knew the questions were going to come out sooner or later, so he decided to be the first to break the silence.
“Johnny, before you go askin’ why I came home, I’ll just tell you. Street G dropped me, Tommy dropped me, and my career is good and done. I woke up about a week ago in a jail cell with an officer handing me papers that said I committed a number of crimes, all while super drunk, or as I suspect, drugged and drunk. Tommy pretended to be hurt by it all, but lo and behold he was just lookin’ out for number one. Can’t say I blame him. I apparently ended up beating the crap outta some dude whose girlfriend I was hitting on. Broke a bottle and threatened him. The cops pulled me over and clocked me going way over the speed limit, swerving around on the highway and stuff.”
Let me have it, Johnny Boy. Nothing you can say will make me feel worse than I already do.
“Damn, you really went full Beast mode, didn’t ya? Can’t say I’m surprised, what with the steroids Mick gave you a while back. I figured you were gonna get hooked. I didn’t wanna interfere because it seemed like you knew what you were doing, but man, oh man, it takes a certain someone not to lose their minds on that shit, and it probably didn’t help that you were living in fake people central.”
“Wait, so you knew about the steroids, too? How many people friggin’ knew about it and didn’t say anything?”
Johnny ran his fingers through his hair and looked out of the window. Typical Johnny, trying not to give me a straight answer.
“Most of us at the gym figured you were on something. Nobody builds mass like that without a little help. It doesn’t matter though, I’m just glad you’re okay, Xander. I’m serious, I’d rather you be back home anyway. I’m happy for you and all the success you’ve had, but I think there’s something here you’d be…”
Johnny trailed off, remembering what Elodie had said when they were on one of their dates earlier on in the relationship. “ ...if word gets out to Xander and Molly traces it back to me, I’ll get my lips sewn together or worse she’ll disown me completely.”
“Something I’d be…what, Johnny? What is it? I’d take any good news I could get right about now, so let me have it.”
Johnny looked down at Xander’s watch.
“Oh, come on, I already gave you that clunky thing and now you’re askin’ for more handouts?”
Xander undid the watch and jokingly went to give it back to Johnny.
“Okay, fine. You can have it back if you just tell me what the hell you’re talking about.”
He held it out in front of his face until Johnny swatted it away.
“Keep the watch. I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I think you need to hear it. To be honest, I think it’s been kept from you for too long. Promise me one thing, though. When you hear it, you’re not gonna go flyin’ off the deep end at me or something. I swore not to say anything, and if it wasn’t for El, I would have told you ages ago.”
Xander’s heart was beating out of his chest.
“Johnny, I don’t do well with suspense, so just tell me what you’ve got to say and get it over with. Please.”
Johnny popped open the trunk of his vehicle and put Xander’s luggage in. Taking a deep breath, Johnny turned to face Xander.
“Did you ever wonder what happened to Molly the night after you two hooked up? I mean, I know you saw her a few times, and I know for a fact it was her that left your house all pissed off that time, but did you ever actually follow up with her or anything like that?”
Follow up with her? Like what, ask her how her day was? I don’t recall Johnny being so vague and talking in circles about things.
“I thought about her from time to time.”
Right, if by time to time you mean, all the time.
“Well, she’s ... um, you ... uh …”
Xander couldn’t take it any longer.
“Johnny! If you don’t spit it out, I’m gonna cut it out of your mouth. Tell me or I’m just gonna flag down a cab and go home.”
“Okay! Okay. Molly’s pregnant… and it’s yours. Elodie made me swear I wouldn’t tell you, but I tried to explain to her that if you knew, you would be there for Molly and the baby. You wouldn’t have ever left. Right?”
Of all the possibilities in the world, Xander never expected to hear those words come out of Johnny’s mouth. He tried to guess what the news may have been, and the only thing he could think of was that Johnny had lined up some big contract, or one of his other friend’s had opened a new gym.
I’m ... I’m going to be a father? Why ... why didn’t she tell me?
“No, I would have never left. Are you kidding me? I spent months fawning over this girl but you know what ... you know who stopped me? Fuckin’ Tommy. He convinced me I couldn’t do it— that I couldn’t be in love with someone and be a reputable fighter. I can’t believe I fell for his bullshit. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.”
“Wait, you were in love with Molly that whole time? Wow. Xander. I didn’t think you even liked her. You sure didn’t show it.”
“I know. Keeping it to myself nearly drove me insane. But I thought I had to in order to be successful. Now look at me. But I’m going to be a father, Johnny. That’s better than any champion title some phony jock can give me. I’m going to be a father!”
Johnny hung his head.
What? Why is he upset?
“Xan, you’ll be a father, yes. You can say it as many times as you want, but I don’t think Molly is going to just accept you into her and the baby’s lives after what happened. She’s been mad at you for months. I can’t even say your name around her or El without one of them giving me the devil eyes. It was hard for her at the beginning, coming to terms with the fact that you weren’t going to be around. She’s made peace with it though. I don’t know if you should go messing around with that.”
“Messing around with it? Johnny, I’m the father of a child—a child who’s going to need me someday. Like to teach him how to throw a ball or to warn her about guys like me. I’m just as shocked as you are that I’m actually happy about this, but it’s gotta be that I’m maturing or something, because I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about anything in my whole life. I have to try, Johnny. Please, take me to see Molly.”
Johnny unlocked the doors to his car and walked around to the driver’s side.
“I can’t promise you anything, Xander. She might throw a drink in your face or send Elodie after you, and trust me, you don’t want Elodie to be the one goin’ after you. But if you really want me to take you there, I will.”
Xander looked past the parking garage, down to where the freeway split into two exits going east and west.
“There’s a literal fork in the road up there Johnny, and if I go left it’ll just take me back home where I’ll do the same shit I’ve always done. If we go right, it takes me to Molly, where I have a chance. I know it won’t be easy, but I have to try.”
Chapter 59
“Mol, you actually have that pregnant glow now. I wasn’t sure if you’d be tired and sick the whole time you had that baby growin’ in there, but look at you! You’re like the freakin’ sunshine!”
Molly was trying on a new dress she bought from the maternity section at a local boutique. Her belly was the now the size of a basketball, and all of her old clothes had gotten too small.
“Really? You thought I was going to look like a hag the whole time? I’m a freakin’ ray of sunshine alr
ight, a ray of sunshine with pain in her lower back and swollen ankles. I feel like a whale and I’m not even in my third trimester yet.”
Elodie looked over at Molly’s bulletin board where she had made a chart devoted to tracking the development of her baby while it was in the womb.
“Okay, so right now, your baby could totally be sucking its own thumb, blinking its eyes, or—”
Molly felt an intense cramp in her belly.
“Or kicking me in the bladder! Seriously, baby? You’re really making me go pee for the eightieth time?”
Molly hiked up her dress and waddled to the bathroom. Over the past week, Molly judged how much her stomach had grown based on how little she was able to see past it when she sat down on the toilet.
“I’m bigger than last week, El! I can’t see my crotch at all now!” she yelled down the hallway.
Elodie opened the door into the bathroom and Molly quickly covered herself with her arms.
“Can I help you?”
Elodie was already undressing.
“I haven’t showered in like a week, Molly. I’m starting to smell like an armpit. Or, did you want to shower first?”
Finished, Molly washed her hands and examined herself in the mirror.
“I wouldn’t want to wash away that pregnancy glow you mentioned. I’m okay, I showered like three days ago. I’ll make us some lunch while you transform.”
The doorbell rang as Molly was changing back into her yoga pants and cotton tee.
Oh my God, if I have to tell one more fundraiser that I’m broke, pregnant, and can’t afford to donate to charity right now ...
Doing her best to speed-walk to the front door, Molly passed by the kitchen table and grabbed an apple from the fruit basket.
I’ll just pretend I’m in the middle of breakfast.
The silhouette through the front door window was bigger than Molly had expected. Normally, the people who came knocking on her door asking for money were teenagers.
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