"The baby is not yours!" I yelled, even though it clicked in at that moment that there was a possibility, however small, that the baby brewing inside of me did belong in part to Nolan. The thought made me sick, and I immediately flung myself back a few steps.
Again, Nolan picked up on my body language in a way he'd never been able to do when we were together.
"I'm going to be a dad..." He looked almost thoughtful. "I'm not raising a kid in New York. You'll have to come home."
My head was spinning. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was either going to vomit or pass out or both and I knew that each second Nolan was still in my apartment would only make it worse.
I exploded, a veritable maelstrom of anger and anxiety.
"Get out!" I shrieked. "Get out right now or I'm calling the cops!"
Nolan started toward me and I slipped out of the way, pointing to the door. He turned, I pointed. I yelled again. I didn't even know what I was yelling now but it was enough for him to make a hasty retreat. I locked the door behind him and sank to the floor, heavy breaths threatening to turn into sobs, my eyes blurring with tears. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to ruin my makeup. Brendon would be here soon.
Still, I couldn't help it. I dissolved into panicked sobs like a child.
I managed to get myself cleaned up again before Brendon came, though my makeup was more basic since I couldn't be bothered to reapply the whole look all over again.
If the baby wasn't Brendon's, how could I still tell him after dinner? Did that mean I should wait, or that I should add a disclaimer to the statement that there was only a 50% chance it was his? I wasn't even sure if those were the odds. Maybe if I'd been to university for longer than a couple semesters I could calculate the stats and provide him with a more accurate report. I was being crazy.
I decided to see how dinner went and figure out what I was going to do afterward.
If Brendon noticed my silent deliberation in the car, he didn't mention it. By the time he slung his arm over my shoulders in the expansive driveway of his parents' sprawling mansion, I was back to acting like my old self. He wouldn't have to know.
"Now, just to warn you," Brendon said as we strode across the pavement. "My family can be a little overwhelming."
I thought back to my mother's betrayal and laughed. "I think I can handle it."
The door flung open before we even knocked, revealing a slim, middle aged woman with perfect chestnut curls. She pulled Brendon into a tight hug.
"Here you are!" she cooed, pulling me in next. "I’m Eleanor. I was so excited when Brendon told me he was bringing home a girlfriend for us to meet. We all were! Come in, come in. Can I take your jacket?"
I was hustled into the hallway, and I barely had a chance to register the little steps racing toward me before Julian popped into view and tackled Brendon in a hug.
"Uncle Brendon!" he cried.
Morgana rounded the corner a second later, smiling somewhat tightly.
"Hey kiddo." Brendon ruffled Jude's hair, then looked up at his mom. "I didn't realize it was going to be a big dinner."
"Not that big," Eleanor replied airily. "Avery's still in bed of course, poor dear. But Morgana is here and Keilan's on his way. Come into the kitchen!"
She turned on her heel and we followed, Brendon dragging Julian along with each step. The kitchen was just as impressive as the rest of the house, and I stared openmouthed as I tried to process the granite and chrome splendor of it all. The pitched ceiling was threaded with timber beams that gave the place a chalet like vibe. Not that I'd ever been to one.
"You must be Aurora," an older man said, standing from the little kitchen table and coming to greet me. "I'm Keilan."
I frowned in confusion, looking over at Brendon for confirmation. I had assumed this was his dad. Was Keilan a lot older than I'd been let on to believe?
Brendon rolled his eyes just as his mother scolded, "Don't be like that, Patrick. You'll send the girl packing and then it'll be another twenty years before your son brings home a nice girl."
I laughed nervously.
"What's this I hear about a nice girl?" a smooth voice asked from the doorway.
We all turned, and Brendon's mother launched herself at the handsome newcomer. This, without a doubt, was Keilan. He shared many of the same facial characteristics as his brothers, but looked like a version of Avery who'd been stretched on a rack. His features were sharper, thinner, and he was a couple inches taller than Brendon. The smug turn of his lips sent a shiver down my spine, and for the first time I considered that I might be in over my head.
"This is Keilan," Eleanor said, pulling him over to meet me.
We shook hands, and his handshake lingered just a moment too long. I pulled back hastily.
Keilan turned to Brendon, smug smile locked and loaded. "I never thought I'd see the day when you brought a girl to meet the family," he admitted. "Are you sure you're my brother and not some sort of imposter?"
"Oh, Keilan," Eleanor chided, smacking him with a dish towel. "Don't be cruel."
"What? Would you have put him in the family man category?"
"Don't go sorting anyone into any categories just yet," piped up Patrick from by the stove, where he was stirring a big pot. "Baby steps for our little bachelor."
Everyone laughed, except Brendon and me. I felt like I must be missing out on some kind of joke, but since Brendon wasn't laughing either I realized they may have hit closer to home than it appeared.
Everyone was friendly and warm at dinner, and all in all I had an enjoyable time. They were, as Brendon warned, a lively bunch, but I found the Ralstons to be great company.
The only thing that bothered me was their surprise at Brendon bringing a girl over. I was sure they were just teasing in fun, but there had to be some truth behind it. Maybe Brendon was even less interested in having a family than I thought. My nerves were shot, and when it came time to tell him about the pregnancy, I couldn't. I asked him to drop me off at home after dinner, saying that I was tired and just wanted to get some rest. Really, I just couldn't stand facing him after I'd failed.
Again.
Chapter 21
Brendon
You might think it would be impossible for two people who worked in such close proximity not to see each other regularly, but somehow Aurora and I had barely had any alone time all week. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was by her design, since she'd been acting strange since the dinner at my parents' place.
I had no idea what was wrong with her at first, and it drove me to near madness. I wanted to ask her about it, but it was never the right time. She was always busy with something at work, and she had excuses upon excuses not to see me afterward. By Thursday, I figured it out.
Aurora was upset that our relationship was still a secret at work. Why wouldn't she be? I'd introduced her to my parents, I'd gone on a trip with her and my little nephew, and I'd told her I loved her. It didn't make sense for us to stay hush hush at work just because we didn't want anyone to mistake our relationship for anything improper. We were adults, weren't we?
Friday morning, I sat and waited at my desk. I didn't know what kind of response I was going to get to the memo I'd just sent out, and I only hoped that it wouldn't be overwhelmingly negative. I kept my office blinds open so I could watch Aurora stroll up to her desk—and the giant bouquet of flowers waiting there for her.
She cast a glance in my direction, though she couldn't see me properly through the slats. I grinned nonetheless. I could practically see the gears whirring in her head as she tried to figure out what my game plan was. The note on the flowers told her to check her email, and I saw her sit at her desk, face out of view. I wished I could see her expression when she read the office-wide memo that informed everyone of our relationship. As it was, I'd just have to hope it was the good kind of surprised.
Aurora shot up from her desk a moment later and started walking briskly toward my office. I rose and closed the blinds just as she k
nocked on the door.
"Come in," I called, letting the last of the blinds fall closed. I didn't care that others might see what was going on and judge. I needed a moment alone with my woman, so we could finally put all this distance under the bridge and get back to the way things were.
The door cracked open and Aurora slipped inside, closing it behind her.
"Thank you for the flowers," she said, expression unreadable.
"Did you like them?"
"They're beautiful."
"But did you like them?" I strode to her and took her face in my hands, unable to resist the urge to touch her anymore. We were all good now, right? There shouldn't have been anything else between us. So why did she still look so troubled?
"I liked them. Thank you."
"You've already said thank you."
"Well I mean it." She smiled, but it was weak and layered with something else. "You didn't have to do all that, you know."
I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers. Just a taste for now.
"I wanted to."
She studied me, green eyes flicking over my face like she was looking for something. But what? A lie? Surely she knew me better than that. I never did anything without a purpose.
"Aurora, what's wrong?"
Her eyes widened just a fraction before she covered up her dismay.
"Nothing's wrong."
I continued cupping her face, holding her in place now so my eyes could bore into hers.
"Something's wrong. I can see it in your eyes. You've been avoiding me all week, Aurora."
She shook her head. "It's not you, I swear. I'm just a bit off-kilter at the moment, okay?" She stepped back, pulling out of my grip. "Can we not do this right now? I have a lot of work to do."
She didn't even wait for my answer. Aurora turned and marched right back out the door, closing it so gently behind her that it barely even made a whisper.
What the fuck?
I ran a hand through my hair and turned back to my desk, scowling at the polished wood. What just happened? What was that supposed to mean? Was her problem that I hadn't acknowledged our relationship or not?
My phone rang and I sighed. Back to reality, I supposed.
I ambled over to answer the phone, leaning against the desk as I did.
Peter was on the other end of the line, as enthusiastic as ever. "Hey there, Lock. How are things?"
The familiar tone and the recent nature of my interaction with Aurora made me a little more open than usual. Rather than giving some trite and meaningless response, I actually told him.
"I'm a bit stressed out right now, if I'm being honest. Aurora has been distant with me all week and I can't for the life of me figure out why. Everything was perfect up until it wasn't."
If Peter was thrown off by my candid reply he didn't show it.
"That's the bricks, man. The bricks. What kind of distant?"
I sighed and began to unload, desperately needing someone to lay all this out for me before I went crazy. I told him about the dinner with my parents, and about how she hadn't been making time for me outside of work. I told him that I'd officially "come out" about our relationship and everything, only to have her essentially close the door in my face. All the while, Peter listened better than I would have ever given him credit for. In fact, he was a model friend.
Until he put in his two cents, that is.
"You know, I've seen this before, actually," he said. "A buddy of mine was dating this chick, and everything seemed totally perfect. Then, bam, out of the blue she started ghosting him."
"Why?"
"Ah, turns out she was screwing a buddy of his on the side. I guess she felt bad for it."
I shouldn't have asked.
Peter picked up on my silence and hastily added, "But that's not gonna happen to you, man. Aurora's different."
I thanked Peter for his "advice" and got off the phone as soon as I could. I didn't feel like talking to anybody anymore, especially not my decidedly unhelpful best friend. I didn't want to think ill of Aurora. I didn't think I even had it in me to do so. So why was I tossing around this idea that she might be cheating on me?
She wasn't like that, was she?
Chapter 22
Aurora
Just when I was about to reach peak stress in my life, pack all my belongings into a duffel bag, and catch the last train out of town, Amy came home. She didn't call to tell me that she was returning, nor did she send a quick text to let me know she was on her way over. Instead, in true Amy fashion, she showed up at my doorstep in a flutter of colored silk with a glowing bronze tan and a smile so white it nearly blinded me.
"Hello, darling," she announced, flouncing into my apartment. "Did you miss me?"
I sighed, but it was a happy sigh. "I did," I replied honestly. "A ton."
She turned and walked back over to me, crouching down until she was eye level with my stomach. "So, how is the little bun in the oven?"
I swatted her away and went to the kitchen to grab her a drink. It was only noon on a Saturday, but I knew she had no problem drinking at any time of day. More and more she reminded me of Calypso, and I found the comparison to be quite endearing truth be told.
"Still touchy about it, I see?" she called from the living room.
It was a small apartment and even my neighbors probably heard her, but I pretended like I hadn't and returned a moment later with a big glass of fresh squeezed fruit juice for me and a beer for her.
"Thank you," she said, accepting the beverage. "I'm dying of thirst."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile at her over dramatic tone.
"Tell me about your trip," I instructed, sinking down onto the couch.
It was the opposite side to where Nolan had sat last week. I knew it was stupid, but it felt like the other side of the couch was tainted now. Amy sat down on it without issue, obviously unaware of its past. I just hoped her presence would be enough to wipe away the thought of Nolan there.
Amy's eyes lit up, and she launched into exhilarating stories of her escapades. She'd sailed from port to port with one of her wealthier clients, trying all sorts of exotic foods, activities, and adventures. She'd supped at the finest restaurants in the Mediterranean and drank the finest wines. She’d hiked into gorgeous, scenic mountains and hills, and had discovered all manner of hidden delights—waterfalls, secret coves, beaches with nobody else around for miles.
Amy had always been a great storyteller, and I was so enthralled that I could almost taste the grapes on my tongue. I drooled despite myself when she described a lamb ragout she'd eaten in Italy, and by the time her story wrapped up I realized that she'd drank all of her beer and I hadn't even touched my juice.
"That sounds amazing," I said. "I would have never wanted to come back."
"Oh, it was wonderful." She nodded her head, smiling at some distant memory. "Still, I could never stay away from New York for too long. I start to fade if I don't come back to the beating heart of it, you know?"
I didn't know but I smiled and nodded nonetheless.
"But what about you?" Amy prodded, setting her beer bottle down on the coffee table. "You've been having a much more exciting time. Pregnant, a handsome CEO boyfriend, and an exciting new career. I'm positively aching to hear all about it. I know how long you've been wanting to have kids."
My spirit, which had been slowly buoyed by her effervescence and charm, began to sink again. I'd forgotten my problems momentarily, her stories sending me adrift in a distant sea. Reality crunched under my shoes again and I didn't like it one bit.
Amy caught my sour face. She leaned in and placed a hand on my arm, giving me the full force of her compassionate gaze. Hell, I could see why men would pay her for her company. Even though she loved talking about herself, Amy was an exceptional listener.
"I haven't told Brendon yet."
I figured ripping the bandaid off would be easier than drawing it out. Amy's eyes widened with shock and then she frowned, looking at
my belly. I covered it with a hand subconsciously. I was probably the only one who could tell that there was a slight bump there, but I still felt like everyone and their dog could see it.
"I can't believe you haven't told him! He's going to find out for himself soon enough."
"I know, I know." I sighed, a deep, world-weary sigh that I felt whistle through my bones. "I was going to, and then Nolan totally ambushed me here and tried to get me to come home. When he did, I realized that Brendon might not be the father."
Now Amy looked horrified. "What? How?"
"I slept with Brendon and Nolan within a pretty small time period," I explained. "I don't know when I really got pregnant. I have this huge fear that I'm going to tell Brendon about the baby and then when it comes out it's going to have Nolan's disgusting watery blue eyes, you know?"
"That's scary," she agreed.
"You understand my problem." I sank back into the cushions, somewhat hoping they would swallow me completely and I could live out the rest of my days amongst the ancient hard candies and bits of change that were standard issue in old couches.
"I haven't been letting him anywhere near me since Nolan showed up. I'm worried that he's going to figure it out. I know I'm hardly showing, but he's seen me naked a lot." I cracked open one eye. "Can you tell?"
"That he's seen you naked a lot?"
I groaned. "No, that I'm showing."
Amy nodded right away. "All I can see is just that you're not as flat as you normally are," she said. "I doubt he would even notice. I wouldn't if I didn't know what to look for."
I pressed harder into the cushions. I still didn't fall through into an alternate couch dimension. Damn.
"What do I do?" I asked with beseeching look. "I feel utterly and completely lost. If you hadn't come home, I probably would have spent the next few months hovering between self-despair and anxiety in my apartment, hoping that people would forget I ever existed in the first place."
Amy rolled her eyes and scooted closer. Her flowery scent wafted over me, and I found it oddly comforting. I let her shift me until I was leaning on her shoulder with her arm tossed around me, her chin resting on the crown of my head.
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